


Wink

by Noravei



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:38:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 140,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noravei/pseuds/Noravei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She winked at me." Seven years after the Cullens left Forks, Jasper is led to find Bella, but very different and much less human than he remembers. AU/somewhat OOC, Jasper/Bella.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**JPOV**

From my perch in the alleyway, I watched as people walked up and down the street. I was on high alert, scanning the people walking by with both my eyes and my gift. A line was forming across the street, I noted. I guessed it had to do with some kind of concert happening at the venue a few buildings down.

_Fuck Peter and his all-knowing bullshit_ , I mentally cursed.

A couple weeks ago, he'd come back from hunting with a shit-eating grin on his face and announced that he just _had_ to see the Red Sox play today. In person. And I just _had_ to go with him. I didn't understand what the big deal was. We're fucking vampires, and baseball is fucking boring. Not to mention, a packed stadium is a horrible place to grab dinner or have a violent, crowd-fueled outburst of bloodlust and take out an entire section. Still, I knew better than to ignore one of Peter's hunches so I'd played along, but not without some attitude. He knew I hated when he pulled this shit. It reminded me far too much of Alice.

Imagine my surprise when we get to the stadium, only to find he'd only bought one ticket, after all his convincing and cajoling. I'd wanted to rip his face off when I felt the amusement and smugness as he told me _exactly_ where to park my ass while he enjoyed his game. Obviously, there was something he wanted me to find out here. I'd been hoping it would have revealed itself by the time he was done having his fun. I was really sick of being lead around by the nose by his ability.

But the game was over now, and he hadn't showed up yet. Fucker had left me standing out here for hours, for what? Frustrated, I moved to go find him, but my phone buzzed in my pocket.

_Look up._ It said. Motherfucker.

I let out an annoyed sigh, did as the text demanded, and froze.

There, in the line for the concert and directly across the street from me, was Bella. When the hell did she show up? I guessed in my brooding over Peter's antics, I'd missed her arrival. I scanned her emotions and picked up excitement and anticipation. Not unusual, I noted, for a normal human going to an event. It was, however, very different from what I knew of Bella. I took advantage of my position in the shadows to study her.

I watched her chatting animatedly and laughing with her friends. Her hair was long, almost waist-length, and as she moved I noticed long streaks of purple hiding under the curtain of mahogany. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a band t-shirt with a pair of mint green sneakers, but she was wearing some makeup too. Her body had changed to reflect her maturity; her curves were definitely that of a woman and not a teenaged girl, although she was still thin and petite, almost fragile looking. She ran a hand through her hair and I caught a glimpse of some piercings that probably went a little beyond the typical lobes and stray cartilage piercing. On her arms I saw some marks, but it wasn't until she finished her movement and let her arms hang by her sides that I realized they were tattoos.

Interesting. Very interesting. I knew seven years could account for a dramatic change in humans, but I was not prepared for one this drastic, in this particular human. If I'd caught a glimpse from the corner of my eye, I might not have recognized her, vampire brain or no. The Bella I'd known had always downplayed her appearance to avoid attracting attention. This was clearly no longer the case.

I had often wondered what had happened to her since the Cullens had left Forks. The poor girl. When she'd arrived from Phoenix she'd had a normal amount of insecurity for being the new kid, but she also still had a backbone. Over the course of their relationship, Edward had beaten her down. By the time we left she was shy and withdrawn to anyone who wasn't Edward or, to an extent, Alice, and I'd often felt unworthiness and guilt coming from her.

Leading up to her birthday she'd been mostly frustrated and resigned, mixed with some sadness. It wasn't really unusual or unexpected - we all knew she only allowed it to appease Edward and Alice. She didn't want to celebrate and she made it very clear, but they'd just pushed on ahead, like they'd always done. Ignoring her wishes and feelings, just like they did to everyone else. I suspected the sadness had to do with her physical age surpassing Eddie's, and his refusal to change her. I understood where she was coming from.

On her actual birthday though, she'd been different. Her emotions had become tumultuous, flickering back and forth between excitement and irritation. I'd wanted to ask her about it, but there was just no opportunity to catch her alone. And then it was time for presents, and shortly thereafter all hell had broken loose.

I definitely wanted to get some answers for that night. Her emotional state...the way I'd 'attacked' her. I still wasn't positive that I had. I'd actually blacked out when Edward shoved her into the plates, but the scent of the paper cut hadn't really bothered me. It just didn't make any sense. Sure, I was a struggling veggie-vamp at the time, but her blood hadn't bothered me in Phoenix, and there'd been much more of it then. Why hadn't Alice seen it? Wrapping paper isn't even that thin, especially the expensive stuff, which was of course all the Cullens ever had. The questions I'd been asking myself for years swirled around in my head.

I decided I wanted to meet this new Bella. Maybe I'd finally get some of my answers, or at least some closure. And she looked like she'd probably be far more interesting now than she was back then.

Just as I started to wonder about getting myself into what appeared to be a sold-out show, my phone buzzed again.

_Your ticket's at Will Call_. Yep. I'm gonna rip his face into little tiny bits. Maybe when it looks like a cheap garden stone mosaic he'll learn to stop doing this shit to me. I snorted to myself. Unlikely.

I waited in the alleyway until the line started to move forward and finally disappeared. I made my way to the desk, gave them my ID and picked up my ticket. General Admission; Floor. I didn't recognize the bands. I suspected there was a reason I should be on the floor for this; the mezzanine section would have made for a much better vantage point if all I was here to do was observe. I made my way inside and ordered a drink from the bar before finding a likely looking spot on the wall.

It was packed in here. So many humans, so close together...it was a good thing I'd fed earlier today. The range of emotions was almost stifling. Almost everything on the spectrum. Thinking back, I couldn't recall ever myself to get into a situation with this many people around at once. I'd been to a couple of shows with the Cullens, but they were always low-volume, intimate affairs. Alice had always insisted I couldn't handle the onslaught of a larger crowd. It appeared to be something else she'd lied about; it took me a minute to get my bearings but I was definitely okay. The liquor certainly helped.

I looked around while I waited, trying to spot Bella in the crowd. The opener played a short set. They were alright, but the crowd was starting to get antsy for the main act to start.

During the intermission, I grabbed another drink from the bar and was headed back to my spot on the wall when I spotted her, weaving her way through the crowd headed for the bar on the opposite side of the venue. I watched as she ordered a couple of drinks and went back to where she'd been standing. Center stage, just a few packed rows away. I was surprised, but then realized I shouldn't be. Bella was proving quickly that she was nothing like the girl I'd known back in Forks.

I felt Peter before I saw him come up next to me with his own drink in hand.

"Sooo…" he lead.

"You're a fucking asshole. You could have just told me, I would have come."

"Nope," he tapped his head with his free hand. "It doesn't work like that and you know it, fucker. I just follow the clues the Yoda in my head gives me. This one felt especially important. And persistent. He gave me a longer bread crumb trail than usual this time. What did you find?"

"Bella."

" _The_ Bella? Hot damn! Where is she?" He was genuinely surprised. Still not forgiven, though.

I gestured toward her general direction, not bothering to hide my irritation. He made a show of stretching himself on tiptoes and lifting his hand above his eyes to look around.

"I can't see her," he whined.

"In the middle, asshole," I growled, then remembered. "You don't even know what she looks like!"

"Let's get closer so you can point her out to me."

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and said nothing, but made my way into the crowd. We stopped a few rows of people back from where Bella stood. I noticed that she seemed to have found a rare pocket of personal space in the crush of people. That was normal for us, but not for a human. She was alone, too. And her drinks were gone. What exactly was going on here?

I didn't have but a few seconds to think about it before the band took the stage.

As they made their way out, I was hit with a heavy wave of excitement and euphoria from the crowd. I wasn't expecting it, never having been to a concert like this, and I was not prepared. I almost stumbled, and catching Peter's smirk, I decided to hit him with a dose of the crowd's emotions. I'd only meant to wipe the smartass look off his face, but I started laughing when he started jumping up and down and screaming like a rabid fangirl.

My laughter died, however, when Bella suddenly turned around, smirking, and locked eyes with me immediately. She quickly glanced at Peter jumping and whooping, her smirk widening into a smile. She winked and then turned back toward the stage.

_She fucking winked at me._

It took a few seconds for my brain to recover from the shock. She knew we were here. She'd known exactly where I was standing. How?

I wasn't given much time to think about it, because I was hit with another wave of the crowd's collective excitement when the band started playing. I would not have called myself a fan of...whatever this was, but it was interesting. Some kind of blend of rock and pop.

What I was enjoying were the overwhelming sensations. The vibration of the music flowing through powerful amplifiers and permeating the entire space. The range of emotions brought forth as the people around me connected their own meanings to the songs played, but all having an almost trancelike current of something else...something I'd never felt before. I was completely swept away, lost in the physical and emotional waves. I glanced at Peter a few times, and it seemed he was feeling something similar, moving like the humans around us with a mix of jumping, dancing, and headbanging.

_Well, if we're gonna do this, fuck it_. I started intentionally projecting what I was feeling from the crowd, allowing it to flow back and forth across the room, picking it up and pushing it back out. I was sure I'd already been doing it unconsciously anyway. In this crowd, though, it was safe. It was energizing, but also cathartic. Soothing, in a way. Especially since I had the power to remove any negative emotions from the mix. I pulsed the positive, and muted the negative. The lust I left alone - it wasn't unenjoyable, but I didn't want to start an orgy.

I lost track of time for a few songs, rolling in the waves of feeling enveloping the hall, but I was pulled back to alertness when I felt something odd happening. My projected waves of emotion were not coming back as strong as they had been. They were being dampened. I focused a little more. No, they were being absorbed. Surprised, I concentrated on the flow until I found where the siphon was.

Bella. It was Bella. She appeared to be enjoying herself, like everyone else here - dancing and moving and screaming with the crowd, singing along with the lyrics she knew - but she was also drawing no small amount of the tsunami I'd been creating into herself.

And, unless my vampire super-vision deceived me, she was faintly glowing.

As the song finished, she made her way back to where Peter and I were standing. She looked at me, a smirk still plastered on her face, and spoke.

"I know you have questions for me, Jasper, but for now please do continue to enjoy yourself. I'll meet you two out front after the show. Peter," she nodded, turning back toward her previous spot. She looked back at us, "Oh, and don't worry about riling up the crowd too much, I'll take care of the extra."

She winked at me - _again_ \- and pushed her way back forward, right up to the stage this time - a not unimpressive feat considering the dense crush of the crowd closest to the stage. I went completely rigid, staring after her.

"Well fuck me sideways. Was that her? You never told me she was hot!" Peter laughed.

I growled. I needed another source of all-knowing bullshit to tell me what to do like I needed an ineffectual stake in the fucking heart.

He continued, "Look, Major. There are only so many firsts left for us in this existence, and I don't know about you but I've never been to a concert like this before. We might as well do what she said and enjoy ourselves. Yoda says nothing bad's gonna happen."

I didn't have time to respond with anything but a shrug and a nod before the next song started and I was pulled under again. I was still pissed but he had a point.

After the show ended, Peter wandered away to find the merch booth to buy something to commemorate the experience, and I headed out front to wait for Bella.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to find her already waiting for me. She stood off to the side, already halfway done with the cigarette that she brought to her lips as our eyes met. Her emotional signature a humming contentment and a deep satisfaction with a hint of mischievous amusement. I couldn't make sense of it.

I dug through my own emotions for a moment. I knew anger I felt was unwarranted and certainly unhelpful, but I felt blindsided. I felt like I was back with the Cullens, being led around by the nose because people with a tap to the mystical knew better.

My tactical mind hated not having all the information needed to properly assess the situation, and therefore, what my response should be. She had the upper hand, the element of surprise, and she knew it. I hated it.

"I have to say, I've never had a concert experience quite like that one before." She smiled before taking a drag.

"Yes, it was quite something," I agreed flatly. I couldn't help it. I didn't want to scare her away, but I was missing something big and I did not like being kept in the dark.

I stood in front of her now, taking the opportunity to get a better look. She was definitely giving off a subtle glow, but it would have been undetectable to humans. She smelled different, too. The freesia scent of her younger self had been replaced by an earthier, more complex scent. I drew a large breath...lavender, rose, bergamot, sandalwood and just a hint of cedar. Floral, earthy, and calming. Still delicious, but no longer appetizing.

She stared back at me. I knew my face was giving nothing away. She tried again.

"Was it good for you too?" She still had that damned smirk on her face as she took a final drag off the cigarette and crushed the butt beneath her shoe, kicking it into the nearby gutter.

I raised an eyebrow at her. Truthfully, it had been. The concert had been one of the most surreal experiences of my existence, and one I'd have never agreed to do if it hadn't been for her presence. But I wasn't about to let her know that yet. Whoever...whatever this girl was, it was clear she was not the Bella I had known in Forks. I couldn't let my guard down just yet.

"Oh, don't be like that!" She exclaimed, but then lowered her voice."You'll get your answers. I certainly have questions of my own. But we can't talk here." Her eyes did a sweep around to the groups of humans in close proximity. I nodded my acceptance.

Peter wandered out the doors then, his arms laden with bags of stuff. He was grinning. I rolled my eyes and held a hand up to stop him just as he was opening his mouth to speak.

"I don't want to know."

Unfazed, he turned to Bella. "Nice to meet you, sugar. Officially, anyway. Seems we already know each other's names." He made a show of arranging his bags so he could hold his hand out for her to shake.

"Likewise." She smiled back. "Alright, let's go catch up. My place is just a few blocks from here."

We nodded. "Lead the way." I gestured.


	2. Chapter 2

**BPOV**

As I lead them back to my apartment, my mind was reeling. I'd been expecting Jasper to show up, and I'd known that Peter and even Charlotte were possibilities too. What I hadn't known was when. I was glad I'd caught sight of Jasper outside the venue before he'd seen me, so I had time to make myself look like I wasn't alone. I really wanted our meeting again after so long and after everything that had happened to be on my terms.

He didn't seem unhappy to see me, but he was definitely annoyed about something. Once, I might have found it frightening.

I knew there was a possibility I'd need to divulge more tonight than I had to anyone in a very long time. I didn't know how comfortable I was with that. It wasn't that I didn't trust them - I did. Even Peter, though we'd only just met; one of the benefits of my inner radar. No, the issue was that it simply wasn't in my nature. I enjoyed maintaining a certain amount of mystery. Even before my 'awakening', I'd been somewhat of a closed book. Back then, I'd hid myself behind a curtain of shyness and insecurity and the occasional sarcastic remark. Now, I just tended to let my instincts guide me. It had seemed to work out pretty well so far.

I'd have to fight against those instincts to let them know what they needed to know. I still didn't know _why_ this was so important, only that it was. I sighed inwardly.

The walk was short and silent. It might have looked odd to anyone who cared to take a second glance: a small woman followed two male creatures who appeared to be men and yet radiated danger, through a dark city at night. To anyone who knew what they were...hm. I let them catch up to me and walked between them. They caught on quickly, and didn't question it.

When we reached my apartment, I opened the door and gestured them inside. It was pretty bare, but I liked it that way. It made it easier to pick up and leave.

"Make yourselves comfortable. I need a few minutes, and then we can get to that talk."

I left them in the living room and went to the kitchen to gather my supplies and my courage. I went for the liquor first, but my radar told me I needed to shield the conversation. _Shit, I hope I have the supplies for that._ I hadn't needed to worry about it in a long time; I didn't need this kind of protection on my own. I rummaged through the cabinets and eventually found what I was looking for.

I felt them watching me as I returned, arms full, and dumped everything on the closest chair. I held a finger to my lips and looked at them intently until they nodded their understanding. I set the candles out in a circle around the seating area, and then drew a circle in salt connecting them. I lit the candles in order, chanting mentally. I briefly closed my eyes and felt for the result. It was crude, but it'd work. I was a little relieved. I didn't want to blow my reserves on anything fancier right now.

"Almost ready," I said. "I'm going to get a drink before we start. Can I get you anything? I believe I'm all out of your usual, but I have a decent stock of liquor." I turned the small radio on as I passed the shelf on the way to the kitchen.

"Whiskey, if you have it, please," Jasper asked politely, his face still impassive.

"Same here," Peter said.

I grabbed the bottle and three glasses, and placed them on the coffee table before sitting across from them. I poured the liquid into the glasses in roughly equal amounts and lit myself a cigarette. I sat down, scooted back and drew my knees up.

"Fire away." I invited.

They were both silent for a moment, studying me. Once upon a time, I would have wilted under this kind of scrutiny. Now I just stared right back. Peter seemed amused still. I wondered if there was anything that didn't amuse him. He reminded me of Emmett a bit. Jasper's stare was harder to read, and to bear. There was something about that almost-glare that made me want to either cower under it or kiss it off his face. _Where the hell did that come from? Stupid, ridiculously attractive vampires._

Finally, Jasper spoke, "I guess we could start with this." He gestured toward my salt circle.

First things first, I suppose. I could roll with that.

"It's for protection. We needed somewhere safe to talk, so I made a space."

Jasper raised his eyebrow at me - _again_. I internally shivered. Peter busted out laughing, "So, you're a witch now? I thought that was a bunch of bullshit for hippies and bored housewives."

I snorted, "No, but I did learn it from one. I'm not above borrowing. It's important to have a well-stocked toolkit in my world."

"Why did we need this to talk?" Jasper asked. "The walls here are paper thin anyway. Anyone could be eavesdropping."

"Sure, they could hear it. But they wouldn't remember what they heard," I explained. "Besides, this blocks _everything._ And what I have to say is not for anyone outside this room to know, at least for now." I could tell by twitch of his face that he understood my meaning, but he seemed undeterred.

"Well, go on then," Jasper drawled out sarcastically.

I shot him a look and a dose of my annoyance. I wasn't ready to give everything away just yet, so I decided to divert them.

"Before we go any further, I need to know that this one," I nodded at Peter, "is trustworthy. I know his name is Peter and he helped get you to me, Jasper, but nothing else."

Peter smiled and nodded, but Jasper looked taken aback, and then angry. He growled, "I owe Peter my life. If there's anyone you shouldn't trust, it would be me. I'm the one that tried to take a bite out of you."

"I meant no offense, but I don't know him," I soothed. "My radar is good, but in my world, it's not always wise to trust your instincts. As for biting, we will get to that a little later. Suffice it to say I _know_ you can be trusted." He looked at me strangely, but said nothing.

Peter spoke up then, "Look, sugar. I know we don't know each other, but you could say I also have a good radar. It told me and Jasper to get to you, and it's tellin' me you are gonna be an important part of our lives from here on out. I protect my own. If you don't trust me yet, that's fine, but I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt Jasper, and hurting you would do just that." Jasper shot him a look that said ' _what the fuck_ ', but Peter just rolled his eyes.

I nodded at him. It made sense that he had a radar. I filed the information for later and continued.

"Alright then. Next question."

"Just like that?"

"Yes. I'd know if you were lying." Jasper looked suspicious, but let it drop.

"What did you mean when you called yourself part-human?" Peter blurted.

"That's what I am. Part human, part something else. Vampires aren't the only supernatural badasses around, you know."

Jasper's face was expressionless. "You don't have the bloodline to be a shapeshifter. There are no Children of the Moon on this continent, maybe in the world. There's no such thing as a hybrid vampire," he challenged.

"True, well, mostly true. Vampire-human hybrids do exist. But do you really think that's all there is? Think about it. If there are vampires, werewolves, and shapeshifters in the world, then why not anything else? Myths have to come from somewhere, after all. As it happens, they usually start out with a seed of truth. I just told you I learned a spell from a witch. I wasn't talking about someone who dabbles here and there with books they bought off the internet."

"If that's the case then why don't we know about it? I've been on this earth for a century and a half. I think I would have encountered something like that before now," Jasper argued.

"Not if they didn't want you to, you wouldn't," I countered. "Have you encountered shapeshifters anywhere except La Push? You do know not all Shifters are wolves, right? And that being one is not exclusive to being part of a native tribe? There are all kinds of beings in this world, and secrecy is as paramount to them as it is to you. They don't want vampires knowing about them any more than you want humans knowing about you."

"But why?" Peter spoke up.

"For a few reasons, not the least of which is the fact that the last time your leadership became collectively aware of another species, they went out of their way to make them extinct. Add to that Aro's delightful ability, and we've got a very good reason to stay hidden from all of you."

"But the Volturi haven't been in power forever. Just the past five or six hundred years. There were the Romanians before them, and others before that, I am sure," Jasper argued. Peter shot him a look but nodded his agreement.

"In terms of possible vampire lifespans, you two are quite young. And they have not always been hidden. You know as well as I do that most vampires don't live eternally. They live until they get killed, and only the very smart or very lucky manage to last. How many vampires do you know of that are older than the Volturi?" I challenged. They were both silent. "There aren't many. Most of the ones left have either stayed off Italy's radar by avoiding other vampires altogether or had their memories wiped to protect our secret."

"You can do that?" Jasper gasped while Peter demanded, "Why would they agree to that?"

"Not me specifically, but there are some who can, yes. As for why...I'd say you'd have to ask them their reasons, but they probably don't remember them anyway."

It was a non-answer, but I wasn't feeling particularly inclined to give up any information. Jasper's pissy attitude was irking me, so he could fucking wait as far as I was concerned. I wasn't lying, exactly. I just wasn't telling them exactly what they wanted to know just yet. I refilled the now-empty glasses on the table and lit myself another cigarette, gathering my thoughts. This conversation was not at all headed where I thought it would go.

"Uh...may I?" Peter interrupted my musing, pointing to the pack of smokes on the table.

"Oh! Silly Bella, I forgot!" I jumped up. "I'll do you one better," I winked and flitted to the kitchen, returning with four unopened packs. I tossed two to Peter and one to Jasper, and the last onto the table. That one was mine.

They both looked at me blankly. "What?" I asked. "Are those not the right kind?"

Peter answered first, "They are, but how did you know? And why do I have two?"

I shrugged, "I wasn't sure if Charlotte was coming with you or not. Either way, I'm not a menthol fan, so please give them to her for me."

"Bella, how could you possibly know...what _are_ you?" Jasper asked again. Damn that gaze.

He definitely wasn't getting this information yet if he couldn't be nice. I shifted uncomfortably for a minute, thinking about how to best divert. Then it came to me.

"Did Edward ever tell you how I came to know that you all were vampires?" I finally asked.

"No."

"Well...that would have made things easier. You see, according to the previously mentioned secrecy issue, I can't tell you outright. If you were to figure it out on your own, however…" I trailed off.

"That's bullshit." Yep, it was, but they didn't need to know that. I had to do it this way, though. I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth, but not the why. Sometimes my radar was annoying to me as it apparently was to Jasper.

"Them's the breaks, darlin'." I drawled, exaggerating the accent and flashing him a grin. "You can tell me what you think you know, and I'll tell you what I can, if you're looking in the right direction or not."

"You can't possibly be serious."

"As a heart attack," I quipped. Peter snorted, and Jasper looked incredulous.

I knew then that my attempts to lighten the mood weren't going to work. Nope. Not at all the discussion I'd wanted to have. So much for catching up and getting to know each other before he noticed something was up. I needed to give them a choice now, I realized, and save everything else for later. Or maybe never, if they declined. I locked eyes with Jasper, willing my sincerity and the seriousness of the situation to be conveyed through my stare. Something told me that Peter would go where he followed.

"This isn't a game, or a joke. If I tell you outright, I would be taking away your choice. Right now, you could take what I've said and walk away. It would be no different than if I'd chosen to ignore the hand-shaped dent in Tyler's van that day and told Edward to fuck off. Anyone who might access your memory would find an unbelievable story told by a fanciful human girl, and maybe you noticed that she was a little weird, but you were a little drunk, too."

"If you choose to pursue this, you must understand. You and I would be bound, forever," _Wow, really?_ I didn't know where the words came from, but my radar told me they were true. _Serious shit_. I continued, "You won't be able to change your minds. You won't be able to walk away. You would be required to keep my secret at any cost."

"I don't know much about what's happened to you in the past seven years, Jasper, but let me be perfectly clear about what I am saying. Letting you into my world would require you to be separate from the Cullens, because of Edward and Alice's gifts, and Carlisle's association with Aro. Possibly permanently. Peter, the same goes for you and Char and any vampires you might know with similar gifts."

"I know it's a lot to ask, so please, take some time to think about it. I'm sorry it needs to be this way, but I just can't take the risk of letting you in otherwise. I understand completely if you choose to walk away," I finished quietly.

For the first time in a long time, I felt fear. I 'knew' I had to give them this choice, but I didn't know how they would decide. Even though I understood now that this was the way my life was meant to happen, I still mourned the loss of the Cullens. Once, I had planned my entire life around them. I had felt like I could belong for the first time with them. I wished my radar would give me the heads up about shit like this before it happened. Being caught unprepared was a feeling I didn't care for one bit. Something told me that I would never even question if I belonged with these three. I didn't want them to leave before I had the chance to know what that was like. Old feelings of abandonment began to creep up in my chest, but Jasper interrupted them as he spoke.

"Bella, it seems I owe you an apology. I was so focused on figuring you out that I completely disregarded the fact that you might have some questions of your own. You seem to know so much already…" He trailed off. "We can go into the details another time, but for now you should know that I am no longer a member of the Cullen coven; I only keep in contact with Emmett and Rosalie. Peter, Charlotte, and myself make up my coven now."

I felt my eyes widen at the shock of it. So he and Alice were no longer together? I knew they were not mates, but I didn't know that _they_ had figured that out. I felt pangs of relief and regret about him no longer being in contact with the Cullens. It would make things much easier if he chose to accept me, but I did miss them.

"I told you before that I trust Peter with my life, and that's true, but there's more to it than that. We were there tonight because Peter...knows things, sometimes. His gift," Peter snorted, but Jasper ignored him and continued speaking, "lead us to find you tonight. He is never wrong, so there must be a reason for it. Since this decision involves our entire coven, we will need to speak about this with Charlotte.

"Regardless of the outcome, however, you and I have some serious catching up to do. I think in light of the situation, it might be best to save all that for another time. Can we contact you when we've reached a decision?"

"Sure," I replied.

I wrote down my number on a napkin and handed it to Jasper. I hoped they didn't have any eavesdroppers until I heard back from them. Alice might have dropped Jasper but she probably kept an eye on him through her visions, the nosy bitch. Just as they were about to leave, it struck me.

"Wait!"

I ran to the kitchen and rummaged around looking for... _ah ha!_

"Here," I said, thrusting the items into Jasper's hand. "Take these. They'll protect you, kinda like my circle. You just have to keep it on you, like in a pocket or something. Keep them hidden, obviously. And if you're really in a pinch, throw it."

He looked at what I'd put in his hand, puzzled. His eyebrow lifted once again, so I winked at him. He smirked - _finally!_ \- and nodded. He pocketed my gift, and they left.

I sat for a few minutes, replaying the evening in my mind, but those few minutes were all I allowed myself. Worrying wouldn't accomplish anything, anything, anyway. I'd laid as much as I could on the table; it was up to them to decide whether or not to take it. I briefly wondered how long it would take them to figure it out. It hadn't been my intention to hide it at all, and I still wouldn't. The almighty radar seemed to think this was the best way to go about it, though. I hoped it wouldn't take them long.

I cleaned up the coffee table and took out the supplies I'd need to unload the evening. I'd been expecting Jasper to show up for quite some time, but his presence at the concert tonight and his willingness to participate had certainly made my purpose there easier, even if they'd derailed my plans for our reunion a little. I smiled. The haul tonight would be really good.

Moving back and forth from the kitchen to the coffee table so I could take advantage of the protection bubble already in place, I set out the various jars of finely ground materials and set to work.


	3. Chapter 3

**JPOV**

Peter and I were silent from the time we left Bella's until we reached our hotel room. I believed it was a combination of the shock we'd just received and the feeling that it would be unwise to discuss it while in public.

My mind was spinning with possibilities. Everything she'd said made sense, but I got the distinct impression she was holding back. What I didn't understand was why. She'd said she trusted me, so why the run-around? Was it because of Peter? She'd said forever, did that mean she was immortal now? She'd definitely looked like she was aging. Maybe she just forgot who she was talking to and only meant it in the human sense.

Her emotions were all over the map. Definitely not all-human, that was for sure. I'd never felt anyone switch emotions and, it seemed, personalities, as quickly as she had.

As soon as we were inside and the door was shut, Peter spoke at vampire pitch and speed, "Fuckin' Yoda sure as shit wasn't disclosing this part. What did Bella gave you?"

"I don't know. There are three...probably one for each of us. Here," I handed him one and kept another out for further inspection.

It looked like a glass bubble, about an inch in diameter. It was an absolutely perfect sphere, with no seams or imperfections, but it was hollow. Inside it was some kind of sand, it seemed, but the texture was impossibly fine. More like dust, I mused, but it flowed freely and did not stick together. Nor did it stick to the glass itself - it almost resembled moving liquid. There were various shades of blue, but they never seemed to mix. Instead, they created swirling patterns that moved when I spun it around in my fingers.

"When will Charlotte get here?" I asked him, still staring at the tiny globe. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes from it.

"She's on her way now. Twenty minutes, maybe," Peter replied, looking at me intently. I knew he wanted to talk now, but it was more efficient to wait than to have to rehash things once Charlotte arrived.

"Alright. Let's wait for her to talk about this then."

Peter nodded and we waited silently. I used the time to try and figure out what this thing Bella had given us was. It definitely was not made of actual glass; it was too perfect. The substance inside was surreal and almost hypnotizing. I felt a light pulse in the fingertips that held it, as though it were alive with something. I'd never seen anything in my existence remotely like it.

Charlotte startled me when she walked in what felt like seconds later. I'd been so engrossed that I hadn't even heard her approach. _Sloppy_ , I chastised myself. Rule one when dealing with the unknown is to keep yourself alert. I'd failed miserably. Again.

Her eyes took in the room, a trained response for a soldier, until they settled on the item in my hand. Her face registered recognition, but her emotions read confusion.

"Where did you get that?" she demanded.

Peter and I exchanged a glance. "Do you know what it is?" I asked.

Her brow furrowed. "No...but I've seen them before. In a memory...it's fuzzy, though. Must be from my human life." That was news to me. As far as I knew Charlotte had no memories of her human life.

"Maybe before we go any further down that particular rabbit hole, we'd better fill you in on our night," Peter interrupted.

I wanted to ask Charlotte about that memory, but that might have been tantamount to making a choice for all of us. I knew what I wanted my answer to be, but I couldn't give up Peter and Charlotte. I hoped we were all on the same page. I wanted to solve her mystery. I wanted...something I could not quite explain. I only knew that the only being who might be able to help me find it was Bella.

I handed one of the balls to Charlotte. "We were given three. I assume the last was meant for you. She said it was protection, and to keep it hidden."

"She also had this for you. Not as fancy," Peter added, tossing her the pack of smokes.

"Who?"

"Bella," I began. "We'd better start from the beginning."

I started with how I'd known Bella, the full version. All I'd told them previously was that Bella had been Eddie's girlfriend, and I'd attacked her. If we were going to make a decision about her, I needed to disclose it all. Then, Peter helped me tell her about tonight. I didn't mention the little oddities I'd picked up on, and Peter followed my lead. Unless Char was in, there was no reason to give her the clues. If she noticed our omissions, she said nothing about them. Her emotions mostly held a sense of wonder and a small dose of shock.

"First, I want to know what you boys are thinkin'," she said when we finished.

Peter and I looked at each other for a minute. He finally nodded, "My knower lead us to her. I've never had a reason to doubt it before. I don't read any danger here. I'm in, if that's what you want, Jasper."

I let out a breath. "I don't want to pressure either of you one way or the other. We decide this together. I know you'll both follow me if I ask, but...this? I won't decide this for you." It was true. Bella had made it clear this wasn't a reversible decision. If it was to be so life-changing, I would not force them.

"So, what we're all saying is that none of us want to force the others. Great," Char grumbled. "This is fuckin' ridiculous! A coven of vampires who've known each other over a hundred fuckin years tiptoeing around each other over a human who might be somethin' more, but might also not be." She paused briefly, then continued.

"Dammit, I know you boys better than this: you believe her. I'm guessin' you left some bits out that would help me understand better why, but that's okay. We could dance around this shit forever, but let's not. I've got a blast from the past burnin' a hole in my pocket and I want some answers about it. I want to meet her, I want you boys to tell me the fuckin' truth, and this feels important. Fuck the consequences. I ain't got anybody besides you two assholes anyway. I'm in," she declared.

Peter placed a hand on her back, and then looked at me. "I'm in too. I feel like it's important for you to make your own decision here, Jasper, but if my wife wants answers, I want to give her the opportunity to get them. Hell, I have a healthy curiosity myself. And besides, she's interesting. It wouldn't be the worst thing to add a little excitement to our lives. I can't be responsible for all of it." He grinned like a jackass.

I felt both of them, but couldn't detect any traces of uncertainty. There was only resolve and curiosity.

"I'm in too. And since we're doing this thing, we might as well start now. Charlotte, do you remember anything else from that memory?"

"Not much," she started, thoughtful again. "It's fuzzy, like I said. I was a kid, I think. I opened a drawer, and there they were, in a box. Six or seven of them, all different, and different than this one," she patted her pocket. "One glowed, I remember that. It was a soft white. There was a red one, two yellow ones, and the others were multiple colors. Anyway, my mother called to me and I shut the drawer and left. That's all I remember."

No real clues there, I mused. Other than that there was apparently more than one variety of the strange trinket in each of our pockets.

"Peter, what did you notice about Bella?"

He hummed, obviously mulling it all over. "Well, for one thing, she never questioned my gift, even when we called it a radar. It seemed like she expected something like that. Maybe that was because she obviously 'knows shit' too. She knew who I was, who Charlotte was, the fact that we were there and our exact location behind her even though I never saw her see us. I never get that level of clarity. Shit, she even knew what kind of fuckin' cigarettes we liked! The glowing was fuckin' weird, too."

I nodded, and, for Char's benefit, explained the faint glow we'd noticed before continuing. "All of that, Pete, but you missed one thing. She was absorbing what I was projecting at the concert, like a vacuum."

He let out a low whistle, his face pensive. "Anything else?"

"Nothing besides the whole salt-circle thing and the total one-eighty in her demeanor. She actually seemed like she was struggling to stay focused when she talked to us. It felt like she was trying to distract us more than once."

"That can't possibly have had anything to do with you glaring at her and challenging almost everything she said, though, right?" Peter accused.

I looked at him, stunned. Was I really that bad? I supposed I might have been. I'd felt the annoyance she'd sent me, but I'd ignored it at the time. I'd been so focused on my own annoyance that I'd been totally ignoring the feelings she was having. Before I could dwell on it, though, Char spoke up.

"Glaring? Really, Jasper? The last time you see the poor girl you try to make her your fuckin' meal, and then you spend your reunion actin' like that? I know your mama raised you to treat a lady better than that! You're lucky she didn't kick your ass out and tell you to stay gone instead of givin' you a gift and invitin' you into her life!" She looked furious.

I held my hands up in surrender. "Okay, you got me there. I guess I was an asshole, but I was pissed. I felt like I was being led around like a puppet, and you know I can't stand that shit. I lived with it for too fucking long. Between both of em knowin' shit…" I sighed. She couldn't have known that would set me off. It wasn't her fault at all. "I guess I do need to apologize to her."

"You'd damn well better," she threatened.

"I will, alright? I'll call her in the morning and see if she'll let me go over and apologize," I planned on doing that anyway, but it was better to just appease Char right now. I didn't point out to her that she never defended anyone but Peter and I like that.

We spent the rest of the night making a list of the shit we'd noticed and any kind of myth that might fit the bill. I hoped Bella would give us some more clues, because so far, we had gotten nowhere.


	4. Chapter 4

**BPOV**

My radar was absolutely screaming from the second I woke up. I hated when it did this. Too many things to know, crowding each other and fighting to get out first. Throughout the day I'd have things pop into my head, but it was like while I was sleeping they built up, waiting until I was awake to come out. When there was a lot, it felt worse than a wine hangover. I headed to the shower. The hot water always helped me sort it all out.

While I shampooed my hair, the first thing floated to the top of my consciousness. Jasper would be calling. Soon. Okay, not unexpected. I hoped his attitude would be better.

I was working conditioner through my ends by the time the second one surfaced. Charlotte. There was something about her... I'd have to pay attention. I didn't get any negative feelings about it, so I would roll with it.

Rinsing off revealed the big one: time to move again. Well, the timing was shitty but I guessed it'd all work out somehow anyway. I got these little alarms to move from time to time but had never figured out why and had absolutely no intention of ignoring one to find out. I sighed. I'd miss Boston. So many good concerts…

After that the rest of it was just small bits of information. Mostly useless in the grand scheme, but occasionally useful.

My phone rang as I was dressing and I told Jasper to just come in when he got here. I chose some music for packing and got settled into a routine cataloging what I had in the kitchen and carefully packing it away.

About 20 minutes later, in the middle of a 'dance break', I turned around to see Jasper standing in the doorway holding a cup of coffee and a brown bag, looking amused. I just kept on dancing and winked at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed.

"Well good morning!" I greeted. "Whatcha got there?" I pointed.

"Good morning. I brought some coffee and breakfast for you. My way of apologizing for being so rude last night," he said somewhat sheepishly.

"Oh, that's all right," I waved it off. "A little apprehension was to be expected for the circumstances. It's already forgotten."

He nodded his acceptance. "Well, it's nice to see some things don't change. You're still entirely too forgiving."

I didn't argue with him. I had my reasons for forgiving him easily, but he was definitely an exception, not a rule. I grabbed another box and started putting it together. "So, what brings you around so soon?" I asked conversationally. I wanted to avoid the topic of me needing to move for now, but the packing couldn't wait.

"Like I said, I wanted to apologize. And I was hoping we might be able to talk more. I know you didn't get to ask us anything last night. I was informed that I acted like an interrogator."

"Don't apologize again. Already forgotten, remember? I would love to talk, but I need to keep working here. Is it alright if we talk while I pack?"

"Sure. Can I ask why you're packing?"

"Later maybe. I think I've earned myself a few questions first."

"That you have," he agreed. I was a little surprised, but relieved it was that easy to steer him away from the subject. "Shoot when ready."

"Let's start at the beginning. I want to know everything that's happened to you since my worst birthday ever." I smiled to let him know it wasn't meant as a dig at him.

He nodded with a small smile and started talking while I resumed packing, stopping here and there to eat the breakfast he brought me or to dance to a particularly good part of a song.

Apparently after my ill-fated party, Edward had insisted I was not safe and demanded the family move, but never shown up when he was supposed to meet the rest of the family. Instead he'd called and said I had requested no contact, ever, even telling Alice not to look for my future. I snorted at that, and he'd paused then, but I waved for him to continue. Edward hadn't been in contact with anybody since then, and nobody knew where he was. Alice insisted he was blocking her by not making decisions - no one really believed her but if she knew she wasn't telling.

I thought this was bullshit. Dear, sweet Eddie boy could never live without his fancy cars and clothes; surely they weren't so dense as to not check his bank records? I bit the question down, not wanting to interrupt Jasper's story.

The rest of the family had moved to Canada, and then to New Hampshire, where they currently lived. They were taking a break from the school routine, busying themselves with personal projects and travel. They'd been sad to lose both Edward and I, but eternal life required a certain resilience to change. They just carried on, for the most part. There was nothing else to do.

"So why aren't you in New Hampshire then? Why did you leave the Cullens?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee.

His face twisted a little. "Alice met her "true" mate." He used finger quotes. He ran a hand through his hair, and it looked like he was searching for the words. "I was - am - there aren't words. She told me _we_ were mates. And then she met him, and it was like I was nothing to her. She had to have known. She told me she had visions of me for nearly thirty years before she found me, so she had to have seen him coming. But she just let me get blindsided. All that time we were together…" he trailed off.

I stayed silent, letting him work through his thoughts.

"Once that happened I started to question everything about her and her fuckin' visions. Why I was even there, living this life on a leash for her. How many times had she 'predicted' shit that would have never happened, just to keep me in line? For sixty fuckin' years, I lived by her visions. I let her lead me around by the fuckin' nose like a pet. I let her dress me like a goddamn Ken doll. Because if she was happy, I was happy. I fuckin' loved her. Or I thought so at the time. Now, I don't know. I mean, I always knew our 'bond' didn't seem to feel as strong, but I'd just chalked it up to our damage, or my gift somehow dimming it as it pertained to me. No two sets of mates ever feel exactly the same. It seemed plausible to me. But this guy's bond with her is even weaker than mine was. True mate, my ass!"

"Anyway, when it all went down, Carlisle and Esme just accepted it, just like they always do when it comes to Edward and Alice. Alice somehow managed to spin the story like I was the bad guy. It was all my fault because I'd tried to take a bit out of you. Funny how that wasn't a fuckin' issue for her in the two years between then and her meetin' this asshole.

"At first, I didn't want to lose them, but it didn't take long before I realized that they were never gonna be on my side. Em and Rose tried to get me to stay, and defended me many times, but eventually I just had to get the fuck out of dodge. I couldn't stand it, seein' her with him, or the way nobody ever called her out on her manipulative bullshit - save Rose. When I went to tell Carlisle I was going to see Pete and Char for a while, he told me to hand in my crest. Like I'd been the one to do something wrong. I was so furious, I threw it so hard it went through the wall. If I could've spit in his face right then, I would've," he seethed.

"I left and haven't looked back. I still talk to Em and Rose sometimes, and we've met up a couple times, but, that's it. Honestly sometimes I get the impression they're just staying with Carlisle and Esme 'cause they ain't never known anything else. Once I got to Pete and Char, it clicked. We formed our own coven, which was easy cause they use my last name anyway. I've been fuckin' off with them for the past four years, mostly down in Texas."

I was glad he'd opened up as much as he had about the whole thing. His pain over Alice's treatment of him was clearly visible. It seemed so raw for him still. I guessed that being with someone for sixty years only to have it end that way would be traumatic for anyone, though.

"That's a long way from Boston," I prompted.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, it is. Peter said he his inner Yoda was tellin' him to go see a Red Sox game, and I had to come. And then when we arrived, fucker had only bought one ticket and told me to park my ass in an alley further down the block. After the game was over, I was about to leave, when he texted me to look up. That's when I saw you."

"I know you said no more apologies, Bella, but allow me to explain fully. Being led around like that by Peter had already irritated me, and then there you were, nothin' like I remembered. I felt blindsided all over again. I had so many questions, and when you started in on the knowin' shit, too...I don't like having shit kept from me, and it felt like some grand fuckin' conspiracy to get me to toe some line I didn't even know about. After Alice...I didn't handle it well, and I apologize."

Hearing what he had been through put him in a new light for me, and I felt a little bad for what I'd done last night. Not that it gave him an excuse to be an asshole, but if our roles were reversed, I might well have reacted the same way. I considered coming clean about everything, but my radar buzzed in. Things were playing out how they should, and if I told him everything now I'd just ruin it.

"For the third, and hopefully final time, Jasper, there's nothing to apologize for. Thank you for explaining it, though. I thought it was probably because you didn't like me much."

"That's not true at all, Bella. Why would you think that?" He asked.

"Well, I had a lot of time to think about it all, you know. You always seemed to get the short end of the stick where it came to me. You were struggling and had to deal with a better-than-average smelling human around. You had to cart my ass to Phoenix and then I gave you the slip. Somehow I doubt Edward let that one go easily; I'm sure he blamed you. And then there was my birthday. They used it as an excuse to get you to leave, and that was definitely my fault.

"How in the world do you figure that was your fault?"

 _Well, shit_. I was usually more careful than this. Just _had_ to run my big, fat mouth. My radar was buzzing...truth time. I sucked in a breath.

"Because," I whispered, "I cut myself on purpose."

His face went stony and he took a long time to respond. "You'd better start at the beginning of this particular story."

"Er. Not to pressure you but, since it's relevant to the discussion we had last night…" I trailed, looking at him questioningly.

"We've all decided we're in. Continue," he demanded, his voice void of all emotions.

I was slightly afraid, but I guessed I really could have expected worse. I did just kindof drop a bomb on him. And then asked for his decision before explaining. I'm such a shithead. I'd told him he couldn't change his mind, but he might want to after this.

I took a breath. "The day of my birthday, I woke up feeling different. I had all this energy, I was excited, and I had no reason to be. You know how I felt about my birthday. I started annoying myself with it. All day, I'd be excited and cheerful and then annoyed about something, but I was too excited to dwell or say mad for long. I had no idea what was happening."

"I figured it was just an off day, teenage hormones maybe. A little exuberance never did anyone any harm, after all. Edward and Alice caught me on an upswing when they asked about the party. I didn't know it was the start of my...awakening, I guess you could call it. I don't know if you heard me talking to Edward that morning, but I had actually accused him of having you manipulate me for the day. He responded by accusing me of being on drugs."

"Drugs? The hell?! He's a fuckin' vampire, he would have smelled it!" Jasper was incredulous. Good. This was good. Incredulous and still affected by the absurd was a much better mood for him to be in than murderous rage.

"Yeah, I know! That's what I said to him!" I laughed, hoping he didn't hear how forced it was. "He did drop it after that, but he was sending me broody and suspicious looks all damn day." I screwed my face up into my best 'pained Edward' impression, and the sides of Jasper's mouth twitched. _Reaction to humor. That's good_. I started to relax a little.

"So, yeah. By the time of the party I'd been running myself in emotional and mental circles all day. I walked into the house, and I was annoyed, because Alice fucking _knew_ I hated pink, and even if it was more for her than anyone else, the party was for _my_ birthday, dammit!" I stomped my foot for effect. "I decided to do something to get back at her and Edward for annoying the fuck out of me all day. It was just supposed to be something petty to take back some control. I didn't think about the consequences. When the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I knew it would cause a stir and scare the shit out of them, but I'd be fine." I finished.

"Dammit, Bella, there was no way you could have possibly known that!" he growled.

"What does Pete call it? The inner Yoda. I _knew_ ," I shrugged. "It was more like an instinct then. Now I know more about the why."

He gave a slight nod that I took as acceptance for my explanation. "Care to share?"

"That bit needs to wait until you figure me out, mister. Sorry. I've always kinda wondered why Alice hadn't seen it, I mean, I made the decision to do something stupid well beforehand. Based on what you said earlier I have to wonder if she did see it and let it happen. I wonder why," I mused.

"That," Jasper said lowly, "is a very good fucking question."

I looked around the kitchen and realized I was done packing. I did a final check of all the cabinets and drawers and declared, "All done in here! Let's continue this in the bedroom, shall we?" I tossed him a saucy wink, and he responded with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. I grinned. The exchange gave me a glimpse of a Jasper I'd very much like to know better.

Jasper followed a few seconds behind me with a freshly constructed box. I took it from him with a grateful smile.

"So what actually happened with Edward when he left? You seemed amused by his version of events," he prompted. I was grateful for the subtle change of subject; it meant he accepted my answer. I knew we weren't finished talking about my birthday yet, but I was glad to have the hardest part over with. We could, would, revisit it later.

I turned to face him, bringing my hand to my face in an exaggerated thoughtful gesture as I looked at the ceiling. "Well, let's see...He brought me into the woods behind my house. He told me I was no good for him, a distraction, and that he didn't want me. He said my inferior human mind was a sieve and I would soon forget all about him and move on with my human life. Then he took off running and left Charlie to handle the aftermath like the little bitch he is," I listed off.

"Oh! Almost forgot! He said it would be like you all never existed, and to facilitate that claim he stole all my photos and the gifts I'd just gotten; anything that was proof of the Cullens' existence. Apparently his mission was to make me think vampires were a hallucination. I imagine if he could have taken the scar on my arm, he would've done. I guess me questioning my own sanity was supposed to help me move on," I threw in sarcastically.

I took a look at Jasper's face then, and laughed. "I seem to keep shocking you."

"I should be better prepared for it by now. You're full of surprises, clearly. But that...that's just fucking unbelievable!" He shook his head in disbelief. "What a little shit! That absolute ball-less fuckin' coward…"

I nodded and hummed my agreement. "Worse - he never even took the shit. I found it all under a loose floorboard in my room when I moved out."

Realization dawned on his face. "How did you recover from all of that? We all left. We didn't even say goodbye, and then Edward told us not to contact you. That kind of abandonment...that's why you were so afraid last night…" I internally cringed. I should have guessed he'd piece it together quickly. Fuckin' empaths.

"Hey now, don't go figuring me out so quickly!" I deflected. "A girl's gotta keep some mystery intact, you know."

He gave me a knowing look, and I couldn't help but cave. How was he so good at pulling shit out of me that I did not want to tell him?

"Alright. Fine. It wasn't easy. It took a while. But I also had other things going on to help distract me. My birthday was just the beginning of the changes in me."

"Given what I know now, and looking back on things...with how I changed, I would not have stayed in love with Edward. The love I'd felt for him was fading quickly just in the three days between the party and when he actually left. It was like a veil lifted and here was this guy who kept saying he loved me, but he didn't know me - not really - and he didn't want to. He saw what he wanted to see and he tried to control and erase the parts he didn't find suitable. When he broke up with me it was almost a relief, because I don't think he would have ever let me go if it wasn't his decision.

"But I won't bullshit you, Jasper, when you all left, I was absolutely devastated." His features washed with sympathy, and he nodded for me to continue.

I sighed. "It hurt. I loved you all and you left without so much as a goodbye. You all..it was the first place I felt like maybe I could belong - I think on some level I always knew I wasn't really human. When you left, you took that from me in the cruellest way. Between the way Edward ended things and how Rose had always acted and your struggling, I came to the conclusion that I was less than good enough for all of you, or at least that you all thought that was the case. It took a real shitty few months to start to move past the rejection, especially since I had all these new emotions that I didn't know how to handle yet. There was a bit of a war for a while in me, between what I felt and what I thought I should feel based on what I'd felt before.

"You asked me how I recovered; I don't think I fully have. I don't know if I ever will, even though I know now that I could never have belonged with the Cullens. If I didn't know that...it would have been very bad, I think.

"I don't mean to be dramatic. I'm not trying to make you feel bad either. I don't pine and I don't spend a lot of time even thinking about it, but there's baggage now where there was none before. Little triggers that bring that shit back up. It sucks and I'm working on it." I finished.

I hated talking about this, but it was necessary. There was a prodding feeling in my brain that told me that I'd need to face the Cullens sometime, maybe soon. I didn't need it, but it would be nice to have backup when that happened. I really hoped he would let this subject drop, though. It just wasn't something I liked thinking about.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," was all he said.

"Don't be. With the information you were given you did the best you could at the time and shit all worked out anyway," I shrugged. "It always does."

"Maybe," he said noncommittally. I shot him a questioning look, but he just shook his head, his expression unfathomable.

We were quiet for a while, then. Jasper watched me pack and provided a steady stream of constructed boxes. Eventually, he asked, so softly I almost didn't hear him, "Is that why you're packing, Bella? Are you running?"

"Are you kidding?" I scoffed before I realized he was serious. His eyes were on his boots and he was frowning. I turned to face him fully, hands on my hips.

"Jasper, no. Look at me." I waited until his eyes met mine.

"I'm really glad to see you again. I want to know you better and I want to get to know Peter and timing of this is so shitty, and I hate it, but my radar is telling me to get the fuck outta here. I can't ignore that. I know that if I do, it'll be disastrous, even with you three here."

"Your radar seems a lot like Peter's inner Yoda," he observed.

"That's because it is," I said simply.

His brow furrowed, and then he closed his eyes and shook his head. "If I asked you how that was possible, would you answer me?"

I smiled. He was picking up the game. "No. But I can tell you that there is a reason. And since I'm feeling charitable, I'll tell you that that's not really a clue. File it under 'Shit Bella will explain willingly'. Maybe if the list grows long enough, you'll have more incentive to figure it out sooner," I teased.

"Ah, yes, very generous of you to eliminate a possible red herring on our quest," he mocked. "I don't suppose there's any chance of getting a real hint, is there?"

I laughed. "Nice try. I can't just hand it to you on a platter, you know. Be observant, you'll figure it out. I'm not exactly trying to cover anything up, here."

His face fell a little then. The hell?

"Looks as if I won't get the chance," he said, eyeing the boxes.

Oh. This was...no. I felt my temper flare and made no attempt to tamp it down. I wasn't having this. First he's pissy and rude and now he's acting all unsure of himself. We're gonna straighten this shit out right the fuck now.

I spun around, "Look here, mister," I began, and his eyes snapped back to me, wide. "This passive-aggressive insecure bullshit will not fly with me. You don't want me to go? Then fucking say so, so we can discuss things like goddamn adults. Don't beat around the bush with comments designed to make me feel fucking guilty. I've been manipulated enough in my lifetime, and I sure as shit don't need it from you - you, who should fucking know better, because you know what that feels like."

His eyes widened more and his mouth hung open. "You'd better close that mouth of yours and listen up, 'cause I'm not done yet," I walked toward him until my finger made its way to the center of his chest and I stared up at him. I started to vibrate, but I ignored it. I wasn't hiding anything, after all.

"Did you actually hear a fuckin' thing I said last night? Is your vampire brain defective? Hearing, perhaps? Let me spell it out for you. You made the choice. I told you what the consequences were. You said you accepted it.

"We. Are. Bound. I don't know the entirety of what that means yet, but I do know it's important and it's fucking permanent. Forever, did you not fucking hear me say that word? You aren't getting rid of me that easily. Did you honestly assume I would lay this on you and then bail? What the fuck, Jasper?

"I know, Alice did a number on you. Edward did a number on me, too. I get it, I do. But this? It's like when Alice had you parading around in those godawful polo shirts. It doesn't look good on you; it doesn't fucking _fit_. This is her, in your head, pulling the strings telling you that you're not good enough, and it's _bullshit_. It's letting her fucking keep control over you. It's letting her _fucking win_. And she shouldn't get to win, Jasper. They don't deserve to win. They have taken enough from us. Do you understand?"

By the time I was finished with my rant, I was at eye level with him and staring hard into his eyes to make sure he got my message. I knew there was more depth to his issues than just Alice, but that was the information I had to go on at the moment, so I went with it. I hoped it'd be enough. Whining, passive-aggressive bullshit, and people trying to control me because they couldn't control themselves were things I had fucking had enough of. If he was going to be sticking around me, he needed to understand that.

"And yeah, I'm fucking floating. There's your goddamn clue." I spat.


	5. Chapter 5

**JPOV**

I just stared at her like an idiot, completely dumbstruck. I replayed the last few minutes in my mind a few times, trying to process. She was right. The comment had been passive-aggressive, maybe even manipulative, although I certainly hadn't consciously meant for it to be that way. I was disgusted with myself for it, actually. She was right about all of it. She didn't even know the half of my damage. She didn't know a single thing about the wars I'd been in, about my fucked up relationship with Maria...she really didn't even know the nitty gritty of my relationship with Alice. How could she cut to the heart of things so quickly? I'm the fuckin' empath here, after all.

I blew out a breath. "You're right." I said simply. I resisted the urge to lower my eyes, understanding that it would undermine what I'd just admitted.

She raised an eyebrow at me, still fuming. Her eyes were flashing. From my peripheral vision I took in the full image of her just then. She stood before me on thin air with one hand clenched into a fist at her side and the other pressing a finger into my chest as she poked me to punctuate her points. How she hadn't broken that finger during her tirade was beyond me. She was vibrating, but it was so slight a human wouldn't have noticed. The faint glow from the previous night softened her features, even as they were hardened in anger. Her hair was lifted ever so slightly away from her body, which was tensed as if ready for a physical fight. She looked... _stunning_. I quickly shoved the thought down. So fucking not appropriate right now.

"Is that all you're going to say?" she demanded.

"Well, yeah. You ordered me to stop apologizing, so I won't. You're right. I was being an asshole. You're right about the reasons why, too, although I hadn't even realized it until you said something. It appears me, myself, and I have a little more work to do getting over some things than I previously thought. It sucks and I'll be working on it." I threw back at her with a wink.

It worked. She breathed out with a small smile that it looked like she tried to suppress, and she gradually lowered and I felt her anger dissipate until her feet were back on the floor.

"About damn time!" Peter called from behind me. I turned around quickly, and found him and Charlotte grinning at me.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," he smirked. "You were too busy having your new asshole ripped to notice. How's it feel?"

I ran a hand through my hair in embarrassment. "I guess I've been kindof a stupid shit haven't I?"

"Yes," was the simultaneous response from everyone else in the room.

"Can we rewind about 10 minutes so I can try this again without fucking it up?" I looked at Bella.

"You're welcome to try, after you stop being rude and properly introduce me to Charlotte."

"Well, alright then," I drawled.

As soon as I finished the introductions, Bella threw herself at Char. She gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek before whispering something in her ear that not even Peter or I could hear. When she did, Char quickly lost the stunned expression, smiled hugely at Bella and returned her hug. I glanced at Peter, but he just shook his head and went back to watching them, a small smile on his face.

It struck me that this looked a lot less like a first meeting than it did a reunion. There was no way they could have met before, but it was so odd. Especially considering the way Char had defended her last night. There were already familial feelings between the two of them, and it made no sense. Come to think of it, there was something similar between Bella and Peter already as well - at least that I could almost understand, though. She hadn't given me a reason, but she knew why their gifts were so similar. There was link there.

Bella waved us toward the seating area again while she went to grab the requisite vices for conversation from a box that had been left un-taped and on top of the stack. I caught her eye, raising my eyebrow in question. She, of course, winked back and we both grinned. I didn't know when this had become an inside joke for us, but I found I liked it.

As soon as she sat down, I sent her a questioning glance, silently asking if I could try again now. She nodded with a slight smile.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"Honestly, I hadn't thought that far. I was just packing to prepare. We have a lot of shit to discuss still, but I want to be out of here ASAFP. Usually I just go buy a crappy car, throw my shit in it, and drive til the radar stops nagging, but I have a feeling that won't fly this time." She looked around for confirmation.

We all nodded. "You're right. It won't," I supplied.

"Well, do you have any suggestions?"

"You can just come with us. We have properties all over the country, so we can move as often as your radar says," Peter offered.

"Any in or near cities?" Bella asked. I felt her doubt and realized she was probably recalling the Cullens' secluded property.

"Plenty, Bella. There's only three of us, after all. We don't need so much space as the Cullens do. We even have apartments in some of the larger cities." I reassured her.

"And you don't care where you go next? I thought you were living in Texas for the time being."

Peter tapped his head. "I had Char here close up the house before we left. We're free agents for now."

"Well, what do you have that's ready presently? My ass needs to be out of Boston before tomorrow night," she explained.

Peter nodded as though he'd expected it, "How far away do you feel like you need to get?"

"I can't get a clear read right now. I feel like I should go south, but there's something I'm missing yet," she finished uncertainly, but Peter just kept nodding like it made all the sense in the world.

"We have places in Atlanta and Charleston," he offered.

Bella perked up a little. "Atlanta sounds right."

As Bella and Peter ironed out plans for her move, I watched their exchange with interest. Not only was Peter being serious - a feat in and of itself, but quite an interesting dynamic was taking place between the two of them. Peter had complained that he didn't have her level of clarity, but he was, with great ease, filling in the holes her own radar had left her with. I wondered whether he even realized it was happening. Would it work the opposite way, with Bella filling in his gaps? If so, it could prove extremely useful.

As much as I hated the all-knowing deciding my steps for me, at least their knowledge was concrete - not subjective. The distinction was important. I thought I could be okay with being 'guided' now and then, if I could trust the person doing the guiding. I trusted Peter. I thought I could probably trust Bella. Never again, however, would I subject myself to the whims of someone whose only goal was to create the future outcome they deemed most suitable for themselves only.

I didn't know how long I'd been zoned out pondering their interaction when her brow furrowed and her lips scrunched to one side of her face before she asked, "Are you guys sure about this?"

"Of course, Tink!" Peter sang jovially, and Bella froze. I felt her jolt of shock and my eyes snapped to her. She was sitting rigidly now, with an uncalled-for amount of anger on her face.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" It was like a switch was flipped; she'd gone from zero to pissed in a half-second flat.

Peter was confused and uncomfortable. "Um, Tinkerbell? You know, because you were shakin' and floatin' to get in Jasper's face…" he trailed.

She just stared at him. Her anger was tinged with disbelief, anxiety, relief, excitement, and hope. "Don't ever call me that. Ever," she breathed.

"What the hell did Tinkerbell ever do to you?"

She shot him a lethal glare and shook her head.

I studied her for a minute, realization hitting me like a freight train. It could not be this easy. Could it? I'd almost hoped for more of a challenge than this. It had taken her weeks to figure us out, and that was only with help from the Quileutes. Then again, it didn't seem as though Bella had been trying very hard to conceal her more extraordinary traits. In fact, she'd blatantly told me she wasn't trying to hide at all.

I considered it for a moment before speaking. It fit but...it was utterly ridiculous. Fairies most definitely did not exist. But then again, neither did vampires, supposedly. And Peter...I'd been around him long enough to know that sometimes he just said shit that was true without consciously knowing it first. His Yoda didn't always clue him in on what it had to say. I hoped she wasn't like that moron on that cheesy vampire show Emmett liked to watch. I would never understand his fascination with that shit. Either way, I was pretty fuckin' sure there was no blood on the planet that would stop my pale ass from sparkling in the sun.

"Bella." I called to get her attention. "You're a fairy, aren't you?" I asked gently.

She just nodded, her expression unreadable. "I am one of the fae, technically, but essentially yes." Then she shook her head and let out a breath, "I should have known it wouldn't be long before Peter ruined my fun," she muttered. I took it she didn't mean to say that out loud, because her face immediately registered " _Oh, shit!"_ and she shot me an apologetic look.

There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask her about that statement, but I had a feeling they'd only lead to an argument. Peter and Charlotte seemed to blow right past the comment; neither one seemed surprised. I guessed it must have been a minor thing, if they were okay with it. And hell, I had been being a dick - maybe I deserved it. I was still gonna ask her, but not now.

Charlotte asked her, "Really though, what's wrong with Tinkerbell? I always thought she was kinda cute."

Bella's face turned to disgust and she huffed, "It's just so fuckin' _clich_ _é_! Everyone who finds out calls me that, and she's dumb as shit. Wastes her time with that Peter Pan asshole and flies around getting in everybody's face. Because of her and all that Disney bullshit most people hear "fairy" and think of her, and it's not that I need all the mythos to be right or whatever, but it'd be nice if people didn't think of what I am as...as _that_. Plus, her hair is fuckin' stupid!" she finished, then sat back with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

I couldn't help but laugh at the display. Clearly it was a sore point for her, and I could see why. People often made fairies out to be childish, innocent, and overall ridiculous. At least vampires were usually portrayed to be dark, mysterious, and often vicious. Considering her hair-trigger temper, I briefly wondered how far off the mark Disney actually was. Very, I decided.

"So you're not a Disney fairy then. What about another other kind? If I eat you, will my disco-balls lose their disco?" Peter asked Bella, grinning wickedly. I couldn't even be annoyed at him for changing the subject with such a terrible joke. I'd been thinking along those same lines myself just a minute before.

I looked at Char and then glanced at Peter. She gave him a hefty smack on the back of the head. "Ow, woman! The hell was that for?" he griped.

"Learn some new jokes, honey. That one's played out," she answered.

Bella, though, started laughing uncontrollably. "What...what the fuck, Peter?! You...you...you have disco _balls_?!" she gasped between fits. Charlotte startled giggling and nodded 'yes', which set them both off again. I felt slightly emasculated, but I guess it was kinda funny.

"Really Bella, you know we sparkle. Surely you've considered that it extends _everywhere_."

As Bella wiped the tears from her face, still chuckling, she insisted, "I've never thought about it."

He smirked at her and said, "Oh, I don't believe _that_ for one second." He stared at her with his head tilted slightly until…"Annnnd there's the blush!" He looked entirely too triumphant for someone who had never seen it before. Maybe that was why he'd done it; Emmett never could shut up about how much fun it was to make Bella blush.

Bella merely chuckled and shook her head, but Char took the opportunity to deliver another smack to back of Peter's thick skull. He was being kindof a jackass, but he'd managed to break the tension and Bella was actually not really that embarrassed. Maybe the smack was not as well-deserved as it usually was.

He was undeterred either way and his emotions read mischief when he continued, "Now that's out of the way - back to my question. There's that show with the fairy chick and when they drink her blood they can go in the sun, so I figure maybe that's a more accurate portrait of a fairy. Maybe that's why you don't want the Volturi to know about you. Their balls must have extra disco - they're so friggin old - more wrinkles mean more facets you know. I'm sure they'd _love_ to end the light shows," he tried to say seriously. He couldn't keep the smirk off his lips, though, and he shook with barely repressed laughter by the end.

"Fuck you very much for _that_ mental image!" Bella cried, before we all joined her laughter. The poor thing had tears rolling down her cheeks and was snorting occasionally.

Once everyone calmed down again, I seized the opportunity to ask her before Peter could make more crude and horrible jokes about our sparkly parts, "So I take it the depiction of fairies isn't much more accurate than vampires?"

Still smiling, she nodded, "Pretty much. I don't have wings, after all. I don't shit glitter or leave trails of it wherever I go. I don't live in the woods or in a fucking flower. I do not watch over any princesses or abused stepchildren of nasty women, and no, Peter Pan, I can not make you into a real boy and my blood will not fix your disco fever." She looked at Peter directly, and his emotions read amusement again when he registered his new nickname. Bella continued, "I am in no way the embodiment of innocence," to illustrate her point she held up her drink and raised her other hand, using the two fingers she held her cigarette between to point at the clock. It was only one-thirty in the afternoon. "I also am not typically prone to running around naked," she added, amusement still in her voice.

"Oh, well, that's a damn shame," I drawled, then froze. _Shit, shit, shit!_ _Where the hell did that come from?_ I met her raised eyebrow with a wink, desperate to play it off.

"We don't _all_ have disco balls to show off," she snarked back.

Well, she had me there.


	6. Chapter 6

**BPOV**

I really hadn't expected them to figure it out quite this soon. Then again, nobody had figured it out so much as stumbled onto it, and I, being so unprepared, had given them the final push. I'd kinda been hoping I could drag the game out a little longer, but I could speak freely with them now, if I wanted to. It had been a long time since I had been able to do that, and the amount of relief I felt was surprising. Maybe I'd been lonelier than I was willing to admit.

Laughing like that with them had felt both foreign and fantastic.

"So, I guess you want some details?" They all nodded. "Alright, then. Where would you like me to start?"

I was surprised that it was Charlotte who spoke first, "Could you tell us what these are?" She held up one of the bubbles I'd given them the previous night.

I didn't bother to hide my surprise. "They're called fairy lights. Kinda crappy ones; I'm not very good at making them. I can't get them to glow. _That's_ the first thing you wanted to know about?"

She looked at me with a rueful smile. "I have no memories of my human life, but when I saw this, it triggered one," she explained simply. Peter reached for her hand and held it tightly. "What do the colors mean?" she asked.

"You've seen them before?" I asked, confused. How the hell was that possible?

She nodded, "Yeah, in the memory, there were a bunch in a drawer. One glowing white, the rest different colors. Some more than one color, but none blue."

My radar was buzzing again, telling me to pay attention. I knew that there were implications to what she was saying, big ones, but what they were was still beyond my grasp.

"I don't know everything about them," I said slowly, trying to think how best to explain this. "I found out about them during my research about what I was, but I know there's stuff I'm missing. Those were my first somewhat successful experiment making them. The stuff inside is fairy dust, which is colored based on the properties the maker gives it. When done right they're supposed to glow, but even the ones that don't glow have some power to them, apparently."

"For example, that light you have there has most of the same properties as my mental shield. Carrying it will keep you safe from mental attacks and abilities that use a mental hook - mind reading, illusory gifts, certain kinds of trackers, anything that depends on what's happening in your mind to work. It will only work, though, if it's in close proximity to you, no more than a few inches away. I know if it were glowing, it would be more powerful, but I am not sure exactly how," I tried to explain.

Jasper gave me a questioning look, and I was only too happy to answer his silent question, "I gave them to Jasper to shield you all from Alice's visions; she can't see past these because they protect your decisions from her. I'll admit it wasn't entirely selfless. At the time, I just wanted to stop her from seeing me through one of you. Hers isn't the only gift I wanted to block, either."

Jasper smiled at me then. Not just a small smile or a smirk, but a full and genuine smile that lit up his entire face. He pushed a wave of deep gratitude at me and I understood; for him, that small, selfish gift of mine meant finally being free of her. It meant he didn't need to live anymore with that nagging voice in the back of his head that she might be watching - he had real privacy for the first time he'd met her. It meant that if she called and told him she'd 'seen' something, his hands were no longer tied by having to weigh whether or not she was being truthful. I thought of our conversation earlier and how torn up he still seemed. Perhaps knowing she still had the power to manipulate him was preventing him from really moving on. I hoped he could now.

I realized that I had never seen Jasper smile like this before. Everything about him had always seemed to be about control; either he had it or he was fighting for it - or someone had it over him or was trying to get it. I didn't know the whole of it, maybe not even a quarter, but I felt the truth of the thought. It was an unenviable way to live. Right here, in this moment, he looked so different, and I wondered how I had managed to miss this about him before. Maybe I had never really taken the time to look.

So, look I did. He was sitting on the far end of the couch, leaning with his elbows on his knees and a cigarette in his hands. He was clad in jeans and a fitted t-shirt, his slightly curly hair loose around his face and almost touching his shoulders. The look suited him so much better than the shit Alice used to dress him in; I wondered if maybe she'd encouraged him to keep his hair brushed back from his face. I could see the faint outlines of his defined muscles - he wasn't bulky, but he made Edward seem emaciated in comparison. He was fucking gorgeous, and I didn't know whether to kick myself for noticing now or not noticing before. Was I really so wrapped up in my own shit that I'd missed _this_ sitting in front of me for a whole day? Then there was his comment from not too long before. Was it wise to be thinking about this? Was it even a road I wanted to go down?

The question would have to wait for another time, because Char wasn't satisfied yet. I couldn't really blame her; I didn't know as much about the lights as I'd like to, either. She probably saved me from staring much too long when she asked me, "Have you made any others?

"No, just those. I made them last week, and like I said, they were my first success - I'd been trying before that for about a year. I could never get the shell right..." It was annoying that it had taken me so friggin' long to figure that part out.

"What's that made out of?"

"Glass, sortof. Glass made from dust, fused. Not unlike how humans make glass from molten sand."

"So you're tellin' me you can make fairy dust, that dust has abilities attached, and you can concentrate it in globes made out of more fairy dust?" she said, a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"In a nutshell," I said apologetically. "I'm not trying to be evasive, Char, I promise. I just don't have all the answers when it comes to these. I understand why you want them, though. I'm more than happy to tell you anything I know, and I'll show you what information I have about them when we get to Atlanta. Maybe you can glean something from it that I'm missing," I offered.

"I think I would very much like that, Bella. Thank you for telling me what you know."

She seemed to accept my answers, or lack of them, but she seemed disappointed still. I felt disappointed too; I really did wish I could give her more. Wait a minute, I totally could give her more! And have one last hurrah at my beloved House of Blues before leaving.

"Actually, Char...how'd you like to watch me attempt to make some? I could explain the process as I go; you can see it for yourself." I asked her, and was rewarded when her face lit up.

"You'd do that?"

"Well, yeah. We're stuck together now, aren't we? No point in being shy about it. I have some dust stocked, but I'll have to catch a show tonight before we can try."

"A show?" Her face read utter confusion.

I grinned. "Yeah, I need to go to a concert. There's another one playing tonight. You guys ever been to a metal show?"

"Bella, what the hell does a concert have to do with whether you can make these lights?" Jasper asked.

Crap. More of my mystery was about to go down the damn tubes, I could feel it. I tried to tell myself it was only the beginning, and natural, but it was hard to let go of.

"Look, I know you felt me drawing last night. What the hell did you think I was doing?" I snapped, and instantly felt bad. It really wasn't their fault at all.

"You...what? You were collecting all that? Holding it? How?" he was astonished. "Are you an empath, too?"

"Not empathic, no. I can feel and draw energy into myself, though. I can get it from strong wind, severe storms, the ground in certain places, the ocean - you know, natural sources, and those are the best but not the only way. At concerts, good ones anyway, the vibration of the sound and the excess emotions people give off turn into a palpable energy. I'm not collecting the emotions themselves, just the energy behind them." I summarized.

"And you need more than what you gathered last night?" he asked.

"I used that," I answered simply, if not a little petulantly.

He just looked at me quizzically. I knew he wanted to ask more questions, but was holding back. I sighed. I knew all of this was going to come out. It was far from the last Q&A session where I'd be in the hotseat, and I still had a hell of a lot to clue them in on. Oddly, Char's questions didn't bother me, and Peter seemed to be content to let things unfold as they were. Why did I only feel like I was being pressured when it was Jasper asking?

"I'm sorry. I know you guys want the answers. I get it, I do. It's just hard for me, please try to understand. I've been alone a long time, and I've enjoyed the privacy. Sharing is difficult. I'll do it, but I...it's not exactly in my nature to be as forthcoming about myself as I'm sure we all would like," I tried to explain.

Peter piped up then, "Alright, let's take Bella off the grill before she hits well-done. You said there's a metal show? Can you teach me to headbang? Oooh! I've always wanted to mosh!" He was rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

I laughed, "That's all we need; a vampire in a mosh pit."

His enthusiasm was undimmed. "What time is the show? Do I have time to go get a wig?"

"The doors open at seven, but why do you need a wig?" I questioned. I didn't know if I liked where this was going.

"You can't expect me to headbang like this," he said, pointing to his head. His hair was of medium length for a man; he'd managed to update the styling but not the cut.

"People do it all the time," I rebutted.

"But...it just looks so much better with long hair," he pouted. He was absurd, but it was just what I needed right then. He reminded me of Emmett a bit, but I got the feeling that Peter wasn't normally so goofy with people he'd only known for one day at all.

I decided to take pity on him, and have a little fun in the process. "A wig would suck, Peter Pan. They're scratchy and the hair gets all snarled and nasty. Plus, you'll definitely lose it, and then you'll have attention drawn to yourself for being the kind of asshole to wear a wig to a metal show. Luckily for you, I have a better solution."

I rose from my seat and went back to my bedroom to retrieve a small chest. When I returned, I placed it on the coffee table so they could all see its contents when I opened it. Inside, there were glass bottles - nothing fancy, just nips I'd washed out - after enjoying the contents of course - and kept for the purpose. Combined with the dust inside and the scraps of yarn, string, and fabric I'd tied on them, though, they had the desired effect. If I was gonna be magical, I might as well have some mystical looking shit. A few were empty, but most were full to varying degrees with dust in a variety of colors.

I lifted a repurposed Patron bottle full of dark lavender dust and held it up. "You don't need a wig if you have this," I smiled.

Peter's face held shock and excitement, while Charlotte and Jasper were eyeing the bottle with interest.

"I told you dust has different properties. The color is a loose - very loose - indicator of what it might do. This one," I shook the bottle a bit, "will change your appearance. It's one of my favorites."

"Like a glamour?" Charlotte asked as her eyes widened.

"No, for real, and permanently. It does have limitations - you can't change your base physical attributes, like your height or body type or facial features. But it'll change your hair. I've used it to change my eye color and give my skin a little decoration too, as I'm sure you've noticed, but I don't know if those aspects will work on vampires."

Char's entire face lit up. "Seriously?! I want to try it first! How does it work?!"

Jasper was chuckling, and I joined him. I should have expected her response. I imagined she'd probably gone a really long time without being able to change her look at all. I knew what a haircut could do for a girl's state of mind, and she'd been too long without it.

I dipped my finger in my drink, then put it over the open bottle edge and tipped so a small amount would stick to my finger. "Think about how you want to look, and stick out your tongue," I said. When she did, I pressed my finger to her tongue, transferring the dust. Suddenly, Charlotte's long blonde hair was replaced with a sleek black angled bob.

"Did it work?" she asked.

I grinned at her and directed her to the bathroom for the nearest mirror. The squeals of delight that followed were deeply satisfying, but what I didn't expect was how Peter, and to a lesser but no less striking extent, Jasper, lit up too. I tilted my head, still smiling, but the question was obvious.

Peter marvelled, "I've never seen her get excited like that. Not ever."

Char came barrelling back into the room, straight to me, and hugged me. "I'm so glad we said yes to you. I doubted you before, I hope you don't mind, just a little, but now I know. I know I'll find it. Thank you," she whispered in my ear. I just smiled and hugged her back.

I still didn't know what "it" was - maybe she didn't either. But when I met her, I knew I had to tell her I could help her find it. If seeing her this happy was the result, I'd do whatever it took to make that happen. Helping people in this way was my favorite thing about being what I was, even though I so rarely got to do so.

"Alright, alright! I'm next!" Peter declared.

"You saw how, do it yourself. There's no way I'm sticking my fingers near your mouth," I teased him.

He snapped his teeth at me and then said, "That'll work?"

"For you, yes." I confirmed. If any of them noticed the implication, they didn't question it. It was almost a relief. Maybe I really was 'off the grill' for a while.

* * *

**JPOV**

After Peter gave himself long black hair and tried to get everyone to call him Nathan for the rest of the night - we all refused - he and Char left to pack up our hotel room. They both warned me before they left to be nice and "don't put Bella back on the grill." I didn't really need tellin'. I knew she needed a break, and since she was coming with us, there would be plenty of time for questions later on. I just wanted to spend some time getting to know her, now.

Bella offered me the dust after they left. I declined; the option was nice, but I rather liked my appearance these days. Shaking off Alice's influence had been enough for me. Shrugging off my refusal, Bella used the dust herself, changing her colored highlights to a bright blue and adding and removing a few tattoos.

She caught me watching her and explained, "I just use it to try new ones I'm thinking of getting. It's cheating otherwise. This one is real," she pointed to a small stylized swan tucked behind her ear. I hadn't been wrong about the piercings. "And this one is from the dust," she held up her wrist to show me the four small triangles in a line. "See the difference?" And I could. The triangles, which I recognized as a set of elemental symbols, were absolutely crisp and perfect. They looked almost like they belonged on a high-resolution computer screen, but even that would have been flawed in comparison. It looked wrong. The swan tattoo was imperfect - not to say it wasn't well done; it was. It was the subtle variations in texture and the way the ink had just ever-so-slightly blurred with the rest of her skin tone that made it imperfect. Those flaws, though, only added to its beauty and character. The triangles didn't look fake, but they were without the expression and feeling present in the real thing.

"How many real ones do you have?" I asked.

"A few," she smiled back, and I knew that was the only answer I'd be getting for now.

"And the piercings?" She had several in each ear, most of them through various places in her cartilage. None on her face, however.

"All real. Can't change base physical attributes, remember? They're healed holes." I nodded. That part made sense, but, "Isn't skin color a basic physical attribute?"

"Yes and no. The color of skin can change - like when humans get a tan, and you can inject color into it. Eyes are kind of the same - they are the hardest, and I can only change the color very slightly. The dust can only affect things that can also be affected by natural means, does that make more sense?" I nodded. "That's why I don't think it will work on vampire skin or eyes."

As fascinating as that subject was, I was still more interested in her...modifications. "I thought you hated blood?"

"I did. I do, still, I guess. Yes, there's pain and sometimes blood involved in the process, but each piercing and each tattoo I have, have meaning to me. They're there for a reason. It's worth the pain and the hassle of healing."

"I wasn't questioning your choices, Bella. Just curious. You're so different now, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it is all."

She looked thoughtful for a minute before she answered, "Sometimes, I do too. If someone had told me seven years ago what would happen, how my life would turn out? I wouldn't have believed them for a second. Even if they'd left out all the magical fairy bullshit."

There wasn't anything to say to that. I wanted to know what had happened to her, where she'd been, how she'd ended up in Boston and how she knew the things she knew, but this wasn't the time. I could bide my time until she told me. I decided a change of subject was in order.

"I hope that stuff isn't too hard to make, 'cause I can guarantee you'll be required to keep it in stock now. God help you if Rose ever gets wind of it." Rose would be the lesser of two evils of Alice ever found out, but I just didn't want to bring her up.

"If I could find a way to market it to the vampire world without outing myself, I'd be filthy rich," she grinned.

"You're with us now, darlin'. You're already filthy rich. Peter ordered you a set of cards and several sets of fake identification last night and had them sent to Atlanta. But if you're serious about that particular business endeavor, we could probably help you iron somethin' out" I informed her.

"That little shit! I should have known," was all she said.

"You're not going to argue about this?" The Bella I'd known hated taking money she hadn't felt she earned.

"No, what's the point? You'll win anyway, and I'll be honest - I'm not exactly rolling in it. It'll be nice to not need to worry about it. I can focus on more important things, then. Just don't expect me to want to drive around in a Ferrari or wear couture. I'm still me. I'm going to want to contribute, but it can wait til things settle. I highly doubt anything I could offer now would make much difference to your bottom line, anyway."

"Fair enough," I answered. To be honest, I was a little relieved. Having money, to us, was mostly about exactly what Bella had described - just not needing to worry about it. Maybe without feeling pressured to flaunt it the way the Cullens did, she'd feel more comfortable.

We were quiet for a while then, but not awkwardly so. Bella got up and started to work on packing some more things while I used my phone to purchase tickets for the show and check my emails. There was nothing important or interesting there, so I spent some time clearing out the promotional emails and spam.

Peter and Char returned with our things about twenty minutes after they'd left. We all talked for a few minutes and decided to get Bella as close to ready to move as possible in the hours before the show. She wanted to be out of Boston by tomorrow night, but Peter, Charlotte, and I were soldiers. Peter agreed that Bella needed to get gone, so we saw no point in cutting things any closer than necessary. Bella was alright with it; she had no real ties to Boston anyhow. Her only hangup was that she couldn't hang on to energy in the amounts she needed for very long before the excess would start to leach from her, so we had to incorporate time for her to attempt some new lights into the plan.

Bella and Charlotte were packing away any private belongings before the show, while Peter and I left to procure a couple of vehicles for the trip. They just needed to be large enough for her boxes; Bella didn't move furniture, she said, and we had everything she'd need at the Atlanta house anyway. We had all talked and decided two vehicles was best; it would be a long trip and a little too cramped with four of us and all Bella's belongings in one vehicle.

On the way to the biggest used car lot we could find, Peter spoke up. "What do you suppose she meant, 'For you, yes?' Does that mean that shit won't work for everyone?"

"Ho- _ly_ shit! Are you tellin' me the all-seein' Poda doesn't know somethin'?" I teased. I'd picked up on that little tidbit, too, but I didn't think it'd take long for that particular mystery to reveal itself so I didn't question it. She'd offered the bottle to me instead of offering to do it for me; did that mean it would work for me too?

"Poda? That's the worst fuckin' excuse for a nickname I ever heard," he snickered. "Nice try though. Nice to see you attemptin' a joke, even if you suck at it."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Seriously though," he prompted.

"I suppose that is the implication. Obviously she ain't quite ready to tell us why yet."

"My 'radar' is keeping fuckin' mum, too. I know there's a connection with her; she has my gift. That's fuckin' rare enough as it is. Shit, I _feel_ it, like she's my fuckin' sister or somethin', already. But I know fuck-all about the _why_ of it. It's drivin' me fuckin' nuts."

I'd been thinking about it, and about everything she'd said to me earlier. She definitely knew something about their connection; she'd blatantly told me her radar was the same as Peter's gift. Duplicate gifts in vampires were extremely rare - usually, there were at least subtle variances in the way they manifested themselves in the individual. Aro and Edward had the same gift, but they worked differently. I was the only fully functional empath that I knew of, but plenty of other vampires were able to project a single emotion: Didyme had been able to project happiness - or so the rumors say, and Corin kept people content. But the _exact_ same gift? There was only one case I'd ever heard of, and I wasn't even sure it was something that had actually happened. It was more like vampire legend. And Bella wasn't even a vampire. I'd need to look into it more. Carlisle might know, but callin' _his_ ass just wasn't an option.

"I've noticed it too, Pete, but I don't have any answers for you. She seems to have a connection with each of us that runs a little deeper than it should in just a day."

"You do have prior history with her," he offered.

I scoffed, "Barely. Fuckin Edtard kept her as far away from my ass as he could, and then I tried to bite her."

He gave me a funny look then. "You sure about that? You said you blacked out. I ain't never blacked out from bloodlust. Lost my damn mind, yes, but never blacked out. You?"

"Just the once," I conceded. That was something to ponder on, that I hadn't asked Bella about. I'd never told Peter and Charlotte my own doubts over whether I'd actually attacked her or not, and Peter had never questioned it before, either. Why now? Bella had neither confirmed nor denied the attack; she only stated that the Cullens had used it as an excuse to get rid of the both of us. There was no denying she was absolutely right on that count.

We pulled into the lot not too long after. We found a truck with an extended bed and a cap that was perfect for hauling her things almost right away, but the second car took us a little longer. Eventually we found a sedan that was, admittedly, pretty fuckin' ugly and definitely overpriced, but it would be comfortable for the trip for Bella and we could ditch it later. We paid upfront in cash and asked for temporary tags to travel with. Since two cars was a little much to be paying for with cash, we used throwaway identification, which was probably for the best. Peter earned a couple weird looks since his hair was drastically different than it was in the ID photos. It was sloppier than we liked to be, but we had a plan and a deadline.

We got back to her apartment around six thirty, and the girls were ready to go. We left the vehicles in the garage near her building; the venue was close to Bella's apartment and driving in the city was not exactly practical anyway. As we were leaving, Bella fiddled with her keys and told Peter and Char to go on ahead. When she was done and we were leaving the building, she turned to me.

"Jasper, how…," she paused. "I don't know how to word this without sounding like I think I think you're a moron, but I don't, okay? I know weren't prepared for the emotions at the show last night, so I need to know if you know what to expect tonight. It's a different genre of music, and it'll be different." Her eyes and emotions held worry and concern.

"To be honest, I hadn't given it too much thought. I've heard metal tends to be angier, but I've never really spent any time around humans listening to it. Or listened to it myself, for that matter," I mused. Why hadn't I thought of this?

"Alright. Yes, it tends to be angrier - it's a heavier sound - but not always. It can be very cathartic, though. At least, it is for me. I don't know what everyone else is gonna feel, but I do know things tend to get more violent at these shows than others. There will probably be blood. Are you gonna be alright with that?"

"I appreciate your concern, Bella, but I'll be fine. My issues with bloodlust are nowhere near as bad as we were both lead to believe." I was sure whatever anger was going to be happening in that concert hall would be nothing compared to the violence I'd endured under Maria. I realized then that I'd actually been an even bigger prick than I realized. I wanted to know all her shit, and she didn't even know a fraction of mine. Still, I found myself pleased that she would be concerned for me anyway. She shot me a questioning look, but I just shook my head and told her, "That's a conversation for later."

The show went mostly the same as the night before had, except now we flanked Bella and this time we actually had an idea what to expect. She'd been right about things being a little more violent, but it was actually enjoyable. We unwittingly formed part of the border of the mosh pit because we were so good at 'handling' people away from Bella without giving up our own positions, and more than once got appreciative nods from the venue staff who'd been placed to keep it from getting out of hand. Peter preened like a fuckin' peacock when he got several compliments on his hair.

As shocked as I was about it, I found I actually enjoyed the music. Bella had been right, it was cathartic. Something about being immersed in the sonic equivalent of anger and rage helped me to release emotions I hadn't even known I'd been holding in. I'd always been a country and blues kind of guy, but maybe I'd have to branch out. I really didn't want to project those emotions around the hall any more than necessary, but neither did I find myself wanting to mute them. I just removed them from the cocktail I was throwing out. It turned out there was still more than enough for Bella to collect.

After the show, Peter and I collected the boxes and went to work packing the rest of Bella's stuff and loading the truck while the girls went to work on the lights. I was absurdly curious about them, but Peter said we should let them have this one alone, and I had to agree. It seemed really important to Charlotte. I just wish I knew why.


	7. Chapter 7

**BPOV**

I turned on the small radio on the shelf before getting the supplies I needed. "It helps," I offered to her raised brow, and Char nodded.

I'd kept the items I'd need in the un-taped box in the kitchen, though I hadn't known why they should be left accessible at the time. _Thanks, inner Yoda._ I came back quickly with a few more bottles, and a bowl made of clear quartz crystal.

"We can use the dust I've already made, or we can make more." I offered.

"Does it matter very much?" Char asked.

"Yes and no. It doesn't take much energy to make new dust, but I'm not exactly practiced at successfully completing the lights, so that little bit could make a difference. Or it might not."

"Let's just use what you have then. The lights take on the properties of the dust inside them, I'm guessing?" I nodded. "So you could make lights that do what any of these dusts do, or whatever combination you wanted?"

"Kindof. Different kinds work differently. Some kinds don't play well together, from what I've gathered. Like I said before, I've been flying a bit blind about them. When I made the ones I gave you, I made them to mimic my own shield because I knew those properties would work together."

"Is that one kind of dust in those, or more?"

"It's three. Each with a different aspect." I pulled the bottles out that held the dusts I'd used previously. I held one up as I explained, "This one protects against outside mental influence - it stops anyone from magically tampering with your mind." I put it down and picked up another, "This one allows you to see through illusions. See how it's got a bit of a violet tinge? Illusions aren't mental tampering, but they trick senses controlled by the mind - this dust stops that from happening," Charlotte nodded, and I put it down. I pointed at the remaining bottle, "This one stops anyone from seeing into your mind, notice how it's very close in color to the first? It does a similar, yet distinctly different thing. Can you pull your light out?"

She held it out in her hand, and I pointed out the swirls of color. "See how they don't mix? Dust is limited in that each kind only does one very specific thing and they each need to be used in a specific way. On their own, each of these dusts would need to be ingested to be useful, and they'd only work for as long as they stayed in your system - usually a couple of hours. If you tried to ingest these together, they would cancel each other out and become useless. Lights are the only way to combine the effects and get long-term use from dust."

"Does all dust have to be ingested to work?" she asked.

"No. It depends on what the dust needs to affect. The purple dust we used earlier changes you physically, though only already malleable attributes, so it needs to do so from inside the body. These dusts need the physical access to your mind to work. Others work differently. Some can be rubbed on the skin, blown into the air, sprinkled over something. How they work determines how they need to be used. Most of it is pretty common sense, if you know what it does."

"But you don't need to eat them if they're in the light," she observed.

I smiled. "Right."

"Okay. So what are we making tonight?" she asked.

It was something I hadn't given much thought to. I could make more of the shield ones, but that seemed off, somehow. It would be the safe option, but something was telling me to try making something different.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "Do you have any ideas? I don't think we should make another mental shield one. We don't need it, for one thing."

Charlotte looked thoughtful for a minute. "You know, as much as I'd just love a light that does what that purple dust does, I kinda think we should try and make one for you, so you can block physical attacks. Unless you can already?" she asked.

"No, I can't. That's a really good idea, Char," I smiled at her. "But I don't have any dust that would create a physical barrier. I don't even know where to start with that…"

"Well, what do you have? Maybe we can come up with something effective anyway?"

We spent the next hour talking back and forth while I explained how each of the dusts I had worked, and she tried to work out how to combine them into a light that would help protect my person. She came up with combinations of dust abilities that I'd never even dreamed of, and she seemed to have a lot of ideas about what dust I should have that I didn't keep in stock. I hadn't even told her those dusts existed. It was like she knew about all of it all along. My radar hummed the truth of that thought, and I considered it while Char tried to work out a solution with what I had for her to work with.

There was only one way Char would have known about this, even subconsciously. I should have suspected it, but…I sighed inwardly. I was not relishing the conversation that would need to be had once we got to Atlanta. I still didn't know as much as I wanted, and what I did know made me think maybe I was dragging them into more than any of us knew. Damnit.

Char pulled me from my thoughts when she exclaimed, "I got it!" I looked at her with a brow raised and a smile, and she continued, "Okay, so, we can't create a physical barrier for you but we _can_ make it damn hard for anyone to lay their hands on." She lifted out the bottles and I looked at her quizzically. "Just hear me out," she said.

"I noticed for your shield light you used equal parts of everything, but I don't think you have to. I think if you use larger or smaller amounts, then that ability might be more or less strongly represented. Going with that theory, if we use just a hint of the invisibility dust, it should just make it harder for someone to focus on and target you. Then we expound on that by using the misdirection dust and some confusion dust. The end result should be that even if someone wants to go for you, they would have a really hard time staying focused, not only on where you are but why they wanted to go for you in the first place, and they'd be distracted the whole time." She finished with a satisfied smile.

"Holy shit, Charlotte, that's fucking brilliant! Let's try it!" I beamed at her.

Charlotte watched as I set everything in place, putting away the bottles we weren't using. When I grabbed one of the bottles that wasn't in the chest and poured its translucent powder into the quartz bowl, she questioned, "What's that?"

"This is inert dust. It doesn't have any kind of properties. It's what the shell needs to be made of. I keep it separate from the others...I'm not quite sure why, I just feel like I should."

She just nodded, thinking, while she watched me.

I used my finger to swirl the dust, letting some of the energy I'd collected flow out into it until it melted and started to coalesce and then float from the bottom of the bowl. It started out as a flattened disc, but was slowly forming into the sphere shape I needed as I swirled my finger around it and kept the stream of energy constant.

"This part will be much easier with an extra set of hands. Char, grab that tiny funnel and pour the dust in, whatever amounts you think necessary; I trust you. Be careful, go slowly."

She shot me a grin and grabbed the first bottle while I returned my focus to the shell. She didn't need any more direction than I gave her, seeming to know exactly how to position the funnel and get the dust inside without disturbing what I was doing. Lilac, teal, and pale ice blue dipped and swirled together. When she finished adding the tiny amount of the last dust, she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I have a hunch," she said.

"Go for it," I cut her off before she could explain. "We don't have time, you can explain after. This is an experiment, anyway."

She nodded and grabbed the bottle of inert dust, adding in even less than she had of the invisibility dust, before she finally pulled the funnel away. I brought my palm up under the bubble and, quickly, lifted my finger away before closing my other hand on top, encasing it and channeling the rest of the energy I had stored into it.

I held my clasped hands out to Char and opened them, wanting to see her reaction before I looked at the results myself. At her huge grin, I finally looked, myself. The new light was just like the rest I'd made, dusts swirling inside, except this one was faintly glowing. It was very faint, but still there.

I beamed at her and she returned my expression. "We did it!" It was redundant, but I was too excited to care.

"Now I guess we'll just have to see if it works as intended. We can test it with the boys in Atlanta," she said.

I nodded to her, and slipped the new light into my pocket. I could feel it pulsing lightly, a little stronger than the shield ones I'd made before. I was still in awe that it was actually glowing. It wasn't very bright, but it was definitely better than nothing. What was it that had made it glow?

"Char, what made you decide to add the inert dust?"

"Well, when I saw how you used it, how it took on and reacted to the energy you put into it, it seemed real clear to me why you couldn't store it with the rest. Their power would leach into it, taint it sort of. But I wondered, that bein' the case, if I added it intentionally if it wouldn't just take on the properties of all the dust in there, maybe help bind em or somethin'."

"Do you think that's why this one is glowing and the others didn't?"

"I don't know, sugar, you tell me? You're the one with the knowledge here," she answered.

"No, Char, I wasn't lying before. I really didn't have much to go on when I started experimenting with these. I wanted to see if I could make them, but after seeing how you took to it I think maybe what I did is the equivalent of boxed macaroni. You seem like you might be able to figure out how to make the world's best macaroni and cheese from scratch, right down to the pasta."

She looked at me like I had three heads. "Okay, shitty analogy," I conceded, "but my point still stands. You have a talent for this that I clearly don't."

She shook her head with a doubtful expression. "I don't think so, honey, but thank you for sayin' so."

We cleaned everything up and packed it away in the last box that hadn't been brought out to the truck yet. I put the lavender dust in my travel bag at Char's request. She said she just missed Peter's hair and wanted it back how it'd been, but I thought that was only the partial truth.

Not too long after, the boys came back. "All done here? The truck's packed and ready except for you two," Peter asked.

"Yeah," I answered, and Char and I smiled at each other. I put the keys to the apartment in an envelope along with two months' worth of rent and letter to the landlord apologizing and telling him he could do whatever he liked with the furniture.

It was decided that Peter and Char would take the truck while Jasper and I took the car so I could get a little sleep. I didn't argue at all; I was fuckin' exhausted. It'd been a really long day. In fact, I was asleep before we even got to the highway.


	8. Chapter 8

**JPOV**

We weren't even on the highway before Bella was out cold. I had to wonder how much this had taken out of her. We still didn't know all that much about what her being fae actually meant. Did she need the same amount of sleep now? Would harnessing and using energy like that drain her? Even if not, I would hazard a guess she'd be pretty mentally exhausted. Hell, I was, and I didn't have the comfort of sleep to turn to. The closest thing I had was meditation, and this seemed like a good time for it. It was still in the wee hours of the morning, and if we were lucky we could get through Connecticut and New York City before morning rush hour traffic set in. We really couldn't afford to speed too much, either. Having temp tags and two people whose physical descriptions did not match their photo identifications at all ruled that option out. I set the cruise control and zoned out, letting my vampire reflexes take over while I tried to clear and settle my mind.

We were crossing one of the bridges out of New York City when I was jolted back to full awareness by my phone ringing. I glanced at the screen and saw this was the call I'd been expecting since Bella revealed what her lights did. Two days ago, I would have regarded this call with fear and anxiety, but today I was just pissed. Deciding to have a little fun with the upper hand for a change, I answered just before it would have gone to voicemail.

"Alice," I growled.

"Jazzy! It's so good to hear your voice! I wasn't sure you'd pick up, but I'm so glad you did!" she gushed. Her high-pitched voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I had to hold the phone away from my ear. I most definitely did not miss that.

"Oh, cut the shit. We both know you made it crystal fuckin' clear you wanted nothin' to do with my ass. What the fuck could be so important that you'd deign to call me now?"

Bella stirred in her seat. I glanced over and saw her looking at me questioningly, and I pressed a finger to my lips and shook my head. I put the phone in my other hand and held it out so that Bella could see the screen and hear what was being said. Her eyes went wide and she nodded her understanding.

"I had a vision. Maria wants you back. You should come home so we can protect you."

I had to take a deep breath. I was furious she'd try to use this shit on me, but I didn't want to give anything away, either.

"What exactly did you see?" Call it morbid curiosity, but I wanted to know how the bitch intended to rope me in. I wanted her to play her hand out before I smacked her in the face with a goddamn royal flush.

"I saw you and Peter and Charlotte at your house in Texas. She's going to show up in about two days, when you get back from Boston, with an army big enough that even you three can't take it on." My fingers clenched on the steering wheel at the way she spat their names.

"And there's no way out of it?" From the corner of my eye, I saw Bella bite her lip and smirk. I couldn't help smiling back. She knew what I was doing.

"Jazz, I know I hurt you and all, but you've got to come home. It's the only way. Carlisle will let you come back. I know he will. They'll all forgive you, I've seen it," she pleaded.

She was good. If I didn't know better, that shit might have actually worked on me. The thought drained most of the enjoyment I'd been getting out of the exchange.

"What about Peter and Charlotte?"

"You can't save them. They'll either be caught at the house or on the way here. Leave them behind, Jazz." That little bitch was trying to separate me from them. _Again._ She actually wanted me to abandon them for dead. Un-fucking-believable. Like the Cullens could offer anything in the way of battle that Peter and Char couldn't. One of them was worth that entire fucked-up coven and then some.

"Don't fucking call me Jazz! You lost the goddamn right to call me nicknames when you lied to everyone and had me all but thrown out."

"I didn't lie! I've never lied to you!"

"Oh, you must have finally gone and done lost your _fuckin_ ' _mind_ if you think I'd believe that load of horse shit for half a second. Threatening me with Maria is a low blow, even for you. It must be driving you _insane_ to not know where I am right now." I hadn't really meant to let that slip so soon, but it did feel damn satisfying.

"How...how do you know that?" I didn't answer her.

"What the fuck could you have possibly found at a _Red Sox game_ that would stop me from seeing you?" she demanded. Welp, her tune sure changed quickly. Not that _that_ surprised me one bit, the cursin' did though. Usually she was right behind Edtwat and Esme correctin' my 'unbecoming language'. Now I knew why Peter had that whole elaborate bullshit planned out. I had to give myself a mental kick in the ass for that one. I couldn't believe I'd let this bitch mindfuck me so badly that I'd doubted Peter.

"I don't think it's any of your goddamn business why. What matters is that you can't," I was trying to rile her up a bit more. Alice _hated_ not knowing.

"But Jazz, how am I supposed to keep you safe if I can't see you?" she whined. It grated me.

"Alice, your tune keeps changing faster than I could turn a radio dial, and that's sayin' somethin'. Don't fuckin' insult me by pretendin' you give a flyin' assfuck about my safety. And I told you not to fuckin' call me that."

Bella waved to get my attention, and pointed at the phone, then to herself. She wanted to talk to Alice? She'd told me she needed to avoid their gifts...and the Volturi. Well, if she felt it was safe, who was I to argue? _This oughta be good_. I nodded.

"But.."

She wasted no time at all, cutting off whatever Alice had been about to say. "Hi there, Alice. You really don't need to be concerned for Jasper's safety. He can take care of himself. He didn't want me to give myself away, but I really wanted to say hi!" she chirped with mock cheerfulness. I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face.

"Who is that?" Alice demanded, but her tone was off. She knew exactly who it was.

"If you think _real_ hard, I'm sure you can figure it out," I replied in the most condescending tone I could muster.

"That's not possible. She's dead," Alice breathed through the phone.

"Oh no, _bestie_ , I'm very much alive. I gotta say, I thought you'd be happier to hear from me, though. Don't you miss me at all?" Bella said, keeping her upbeat tone. She was baiting, trying to get Alice to slip up again. _Smart_ , I thought, and sent her my pride and approval. My conversation with her had been about to devolve quickly anyway.

"Bella, you're not safe with Jasper. He will kill you! He's already tried once, don't you remember? Get away from him! Where are you? I'll come get you." I had to hand it to Alice, she sounded for all the world like she was terrified for friend. Her acting skills really were top notch. Unfortunately for her, we both knew different.

"I remember more than you think I do. I remember you letting it happen," Bella replied, her earlier light tone suddenly replaced with one full of hard-edged contempt.

"I didn't! I swear! It wasn't a decision, I couldn't see it!"

"You are fucking lying, Alice. There was a decision. I know; I'm the one that made it. You wanna take another stab at that response?" Bella's voice oozed disdain as she spoke.

"I...I.." Alice stuttered. I started laughing. The timing was piss-poor, but I couldn't help myself. I'd never actually witnessed her speechless before. I was enjoying this shit thoroughly.

Bella exaggerated an irritated sigh so that she could be sure it'd be heard on the other end of the line. "What's the hangup, Alice? Can't think of another angle to lie about why you knowingly put my life in danger? Here I thought my human brain was the _inferior_ one," she spat.

"He was never going to kill you. I.."

Bella cut her off again, "So which is it, Alice? Hmm? Should I leave and go to you because he tried to kill me? Should I trust you because you knew he wouldn't kill me and just wanted something to fucking blackmail him with? You told me to get away from him, but you just said you wanted him back there. You can't have it both ways." Watching and listening to Bella as she spoke could only have been better if Alice had been standing in front of us in person. Her ferocity and focus were ridiculously attractive - even better when it wasn't aimed at me.

There was nothing but a small huff and silence on the other end of the line.

After a few loaded seconds, Bella sent me annoyance and resignation: _We're not going to get anything else out of her, are we?_ I shook my head. Then her face spread into a slow, wicked grin as she raised her eyebrow and sent me mischief and curiosity. _Would you play along?_ it asked. _Fuck yes_ , I winked back. I'd do just about anything she asked me to right about now.

She whispered, pretending she didn't know Alice could hear her anyway, "Jasper, honey, I think I'm about done with this shit. We just hit St. Louis; there's gotta be a hotel around here where you can take me so we can make each other forget this bitch exists."

Her delivery was so spot-on, I felt my pants tighten a little. It was an obvious ploy, but Alice wouldn't see it. She was too reliant on her visions to ever consider the possibility someone else might try to play her, and she really did think of humans as inferior. She would never in a million years consider Bella smart enough to pull that on purpose. The only information she got out of the exchange was that Bella was alive and possibly keeping me quite busy. That was nothing; they would find out she was alive one way or another anyway, eventually. In exchange for the useless tidbit she gave Alice, Bella had gotten her to confess to having seen the incident at her birthday party, which meant Edward had seen it and let it happen, too.

It was proof that our suspicions were true, and while to anyone else it might not seem like it was particularly important, it was to me. The manipulation had been obvious, but to hear her admit it, even by accident, helped me finally break that last link in my mind. That tiny voice that told me that I was wrong and everything she'd said I was, so my anger and doubt about her were undeserved. The same voice that told me I'd deserved everything she'd done to me.

I smirked and cooed at full volume, " _Anythin'_ you want darlin'," before kissing the back of my own hand audibly. There was a gasp on the other end of the line.

Bella started shaking with silent laughter but controlled her voice enough to bite out, "Goodbye, Alice," before she pressed the end call button.

We both laughed and I glanced at Bella. "That, my dear, was masterful."

"Sorry for stealing your thunder, J. I just couldn't help myself," she said guiltily.

"Don't you be sorry for that one bit. I got my own digs in, and I'm sure it's not the last time I'll hear from her. I'd love to have been able to see the look on her face, though," I laughed. "That bit about St. Louis was good. She's a jealous thing, she'll probably try and go there."

She smiled then, "Good. She should get a taste of how it feels to be manipulated. Where are we really?"

"Just passin' into New Jersey. You've been asleep about three hours. You hungry?"

"Yeah, among other things."

"Grab my phone there and text Peter to let him know we're stoppin'. I gotta get gas anyway."

When Bella went inside to do whatever she needed to do while I got gas, I thought about what had just happened a little more. She'd helped me so much more than she knew in the past couple of days. Helped me pull my head out of my own ass, and helped me finally cut the last strings of influence that Alice had kept over me. We had time and privacy on this trip, two things we might not have again for a while - Peter has a fuckin' talent for interruption. We'd all been asking her for answers almost since we found her, but really, why should she share? None of us had really thought to tell her about ourselves. I decided then to tell her my story. Maybe if one of us shared, she'd feel more comfortable telling hers.

Once Bella was settled back in the car and we were on the highway again, she turned to me. "So, am I going back on the grill now?" she asked with a smirk.

I chuckled. "No, actually, I was thinkin' maybe I could tell you about myself instead. Anythin' you tell me now might well need to get repeated, and that's a pain in the ass. I'm sure you have questions about what you heard about Maria. Some of my story coincides with Peter's and Charlotte's, and I'm sure they'd like to not need to relive it."

She nodded, "I'd like that, J."

"J?"

"Well, I'm not gonna call you Jazz now that I know it pisses you off. You got a better nickname?"

"No," I laughed, "J is fine. And thank you for the consideration."

"Alright then, you're welcome, and please continue," she said.

I launched into the tale, starting with what I could remember of my human life before war, then my time in the Confederate army up until I'd had the grand misfortune of meeting Maria. I told her about the human lifetime I'd spent as the Terror of the South, and all the blood, venom, and devastation I'd left in my wake, and the reputation and titles it had earned me. I told her about the newborn armies and territory wars. I spared few details as I explained the horror I'd inflicted, how far down the rabbit hole I actually had been before I changed Peter and he wormed his way in and showed me there was more to feel than anger, lust, bloodlust, and fear. I told her how he'd kept it from me when he realized Charlotte was his mate, because we would have killed them. How I let them go instead of killing her when her name was on the list, and how they repaid me by coming back and getting the me the fuck out of there a few years after.

Then I told her how hard a time I'd had adjusting to a peaceful life and felt out of place with Peter and Char - they had each other, and I had no one. At least, until I'd walked into that diner looking for dinner and found Alice. I went into detail about our life with the Cullens, my struggles with the diet, and my gift. How I was never comfortable with the way they flaunted their money, and I never quite fit in there, either. I talked about how Alice would see things and Edward would pick them out of her head and they'd both punish me for things that hadn't even happened yet. How Edward had picked my brain over the years for my history and only retold the most gruesome parts to make me look like an irredeemable monster. How the feelings of disappointment, guilt, and fear coming from the family on a regular basis had eventually brought me to a point where I believed them. I explained why Rose and I posed as twins and how she and Emmett were the only ones to ever defend me, but even they fell for the bullshit half the time.

Talking about it all helped me gain a new perspective on my relationship with Alice. I'd known she'd manipulated me from the beginning, but I hadn't understood the depth of what she'd inflicted until I verbalized it all. It was textbook emotional abuse with supernatural enhancements, and I had been an easy victim to catch because I'd been looking for something she promised she could fill. Maria had used me for my gift, but at least had been honest about what she was doing. Alice used me just because she could, and everything about us had been a farce.

I had the sudden realization that I'd been walking the earth for over a century and a half and had yet to experience real love for myself. The thought was depressing, and I didn't say it out loud.

I skipped over our time in Forks for the most part, since she knew most of it, but I did explain how on edge I'd felt since I'd left the Cullens - always waiting for that phone call from Alice to tell me about her newest vision of me fucking up. I told her how Peter and Charlotte put up with my shit and helped put me back together, but it was always another war in me whether to believe them or Alice right up until the moment she told me what her little light did.

I talked for nearly seven hours, and she spent the whole time listening intently. She let me speak and get it all out, and while her emotions reflected some shock and sadness in places, there was no pity or judgement from her - just compassion and acceptance. Her reaction was the one I'd been the least prepared for, but it was also the one I'd needed most. I'd never told anyone but Alice of my past, and her reaction had been horror and revulsion and telling me that I could never become that again. As if I had done it all on purpose. I took full responsibility for my own part in all of it, but that didn't mean I had enjoyed being a monster. Bella seemed to understand that. It occurred to me then that she'd never mentioned or questioned my current eye color.

We had to stop again for Bella's human requirements and gas. Once we were back on the road, she slipped her hand into mine and said, "Thank you for sharing all that with me, Jasper. It can't have been easy to tell."

"It wasn't, but I think I needed to," I responded. "It was cathartic, in a way, and it helped me see some things I hadn't before. Thank you for listening. Can I ask you something?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"You haven't mentioned our eyes..?"

She sighed, but not out of irritation, "I know what it means, Jasper. You are a vampire. It's your nature. I can't fault you for it, and it's no place of mine to judge."

I was dumbfounded. She was still part-human, wasn't she?

Seeing my expression, she continued, "It's not relevant to me and it's not really my business what you choose to sustain your body with."

"How can it be irrelevant? You're still part-human, aren't you?"

"Are you planning to eat me now, J? Do you tell all your dinners your life story before you dig in?"

I chuckled, "No. I'm not planning on eating you. And I'm not arguing with your acceptance of it. I guess I'm just trying to understand your thought process. Most people wouldn't be so nonchalant about sitting in a confined space with a known killer."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. You're a big, bad, scary vampire," she snapped her teeth at me. I couldn't help but laugh a little, and she continued, "You forget that I'm not entirely human. You're not going to kill me. I don't understand why you would want me to be afraid of you, but it's not going to happen. Sorry."

"So you're really okay with it?"

"Why does it matter to you what I think about it?"

Good question. I wasn't really all that sure why. But it did matter what she thought. It mattered a great deal. I shrugged.

She shot me a look that clearly said _...Really?_ and sighed when I didn't respond. "If you want the validation, J, I think you're making the right choice. The world has changed a lot since Carlisle was reborn as a vampire. Wildlife is an important part of the planet for many reasons, but the habitats that can sustain it are shrinking. Vampires that consume animal blood need to hunt a lot more often than they otherwise would. From a perspective of pure environmental concern, the Cullens are hurting more than they are helping. Their respect for human life is admirable, but with the state the world is in, their methods are at odds with their ideals. Beyond that, over time, the animal diet weakens vampires. It dulls your abilities and your minds."

"How do you know that?" I asked. I knew; I'd experienced it, but how did she?

"I'll answer how I _know_ after we get to Atlanta, because it's part of something Peter and Charlotte should hear too, but it's also common sense, J. Resisting your strongest instincts, and being malnourished besides, for how long? It takes a lot out of you. You may be unable to die from it, but it shows in other ways."

"I suppose I can't argue with that logic. I never thought about it that way."

She looked out the window in thought for a little while, before asking me, "When did you change Peter and Charlotte?"

"I have to think about that one. The diner was 1940, so...Peter probably sometime around 1900 and Charlotte in the early 1920's. We didn't exactly keep time in Maria's army, so that's my best guess. Why do you ask?"

She was silent for a moment before she spoke, "I can't go into why yet, that's something else I need to tell you all together. The sooner the better, I think. I asked now because I wanted to confirm a suspicion before bringing it up."

I looked at her for a minute, but decided to let it go.

Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper, when she spoke again. "Ask me about something else, J. Or tell me about you now. Let's pretend we're just two normal people getting to know each other without all the supernatural bullshit. I don't want to have to keep saying no to you right now."

There was regret and a tinge of pain and defeat in her emotions and a sadness in her voice as she said the words, and I found myself unable to deny her request. Something was changing between us on this trip, and we both felt it. I wanted to ask her why she was sad, what she was regretting, but no longer just because I wanted her secrets. I wanted to take it away, I wanted to make it better. I would rather have her yelling in my face than feeling and speaking like this. It wouldn't be 'normal', though, and that was what she'd asked for, so that is what I gave her.

We spent the rest of the trip talking about 'normal' things, as she put it. Our tastes in music were nearly opposite, and she vowed to educate me on all I'd been missing. I promised to give her recommendations a fair shake after the concerts. She told me she loved music, and the concerts being beneficial for her needs was just a happy bonus - she'd still go as often as she could even if that wasn't the case. It turned out we liked many of the same books, but where I tended toward nonfiction, she loved fantasy and science fiction, which didn't surprise me at all somehow. It did surprise me that she had a hidden love for history and found the second World War, in particular, fascinating; I had several books and documentaries on that war that she hadn't seen or read yet. We both enjoyed almost any movie genre as long as we were in the mood for it, and we both kept detailed journals.

As we talked, Bella's mood gradually lightened, and eventually we were just two people on a road trip, getting to know each other. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten to know someone this way; maybe never. It was a pleasant surprise to find that I genuinely liked her; she was intelligent and kind, confident without being arrogant. Her sense of humor was snarky and sarcastic and sometimes crude, and she was passionate and fierce when it came to the things and people she cared about, because she cared deeply. She'd been completely right; Edward really hadn't seen her at all. I was seeing her for the first time, now, and I couldn't help being a bit smitten. I caught myself more than once over the remaining hours of our trip thinking I could fall in love with this girl. It would be easy - but probably not wise.

When we eventually pulled up to the house in Atlanta, I was sorry the trip was over. I realized then that her hand hadn't left mine since we'd gotten back in the car the last time, and at some point our fingers had laced together. I squeezed gently before taking my hand back to help her out of the car, and immediately missed the contact.


	9. Chapter 9

**BPOV**

The trip had been really long, and I realized how dirty I felt the second I walked into the clean house. The feeling of road wash was far easier to ignore when the only places you visited were covered in it, too.

The house was at the end of the road in a very sparse development, and the property was lined with both a tall privacy fence and even taller bushes. It was a ranch-style house, and on the larger side only because of the additions to the back of the house for two modest master bedroom suites. It was clean and updated, with heavy modifications having been made to the floor plan to make it more open, but it wasn't extravagant.

When Char was finished giving me the tour, I asked, "So, where can I grab a shower? I'd like to clean the road film off me and get a snack, but after that I'll willingly climb back on the grill til you guys decide I'm done."

"Use my suite," Jasper offered. "I don't need it anyway. It's the smaller one. The bed is yours too, if you're tired. There should be some soap and towels in the closet in the bathroom."

"Thank you," I smiled gratefully, "I'll be back soon."

Once under the relaxing pressure of hot water, I allowed myself to examine the past 16 hours in the car with Jasper. Something had shifted with him, something big, and I didn't quite know where.

I was surprised and proud when he stood up to Alice the way he did, especially after hearing the details of what their life together had actually been like. It was validating and very satisfying to me to have been able to draw a confession from her about my birthday When I realized that had been just the latest in a long string of such incidents for him it felt like much less of a victory, though. I'd known something was off about my birthday, and maybe even Phoenix, but the extent of it was staggering. How often had she lied like that, or let people get hurt, just to maintain her control of him? It was fact that Edward had knowingly participated in it and had exacerbated Jasper's situation, tormented him, was downright rage-inducing. In comparison, what they'd done to me had been merciful, though it had still taken me longer than I cared to admit to get over. My head hit the shower fixture before I even realized I'd been levitating while thinking about it.

After hearing his story, I felt like I'd been a bit unfair to him. His mistrust of my shoving what he didn't know in his face was completely understandable - he didn't even really know I'd misled him, too. I had no excuse at all beside just wanting to have a little fun at his expense because he showed up with a pissy attitude and part of me had blamed him for what the Cullens did; not for the possible bite, but for leaving. Now I knew the truth of things, and I felt like a giant asshole.

And then, I'd needed to put him off when he asked simple things; things he had the right to know. And he let me. And that just made it all worse, because as we talked and he let me hold his hand I realized it all shifted, and he became _more_. He became _important_. He wasn't just Jasper the former Cullen or even Jasper the ridiculously hot vampire, even for a vampire. Now, he meant something to me, and I really didn't know what. He fell in that in-between space, because I really couldn't regard him as a brother and the word friend felt somehow wrong in my mind. I wanted to go to concerts with him and debate about books and watch movies with him. I wanted all that mundane shit. I wanted his trust and his companionship, for lack of a better term, and because I just couldn't help myself, there was a chance I could never have it.

It was time to come completely clean, no matter how uncomfortable it made me.

I sighed and turned the water off. I used the time it took me to get dressed to recompose myself. I hoped my shield had muted enough to prevent Jasper from asking questions too soon. I'd tell him, but I needed to tell them all a few things first.

They were all waiting for me expectantly in the living area when I walked out. On the coffee table was a fresh bottle of whiskey, four glasses, two ashtrays, a fresh pack of cigarettes for me, and a plate of cheese and pepperoni slices. _No pressure, right guys?_ I smiled at them and sat down. I did bring this on myself.

"Charlotte, can you grab the chest of dust from that last box please? And could someone also grab me my laptop?" I asked quietly.

Peter came back with the laptop first, handed it to me and helped me get it set up with the internet connection.

I pulled out a bottle of dust that was soft grey, and held it out to Charlotte. "Do you remember what this is?"

She nodded, but her brow furrowed, "Truth-telling, right? Makes you unable to lie."

I nodded. "Right. I am not planning to lie to you three, but I have some things to say that you may not want to believe, and will probably piss you off. I want you to use this on me so you will know what I say is the truth. I can't use it on myself."

They all looked confused, but Char nodded and, without direction, she poured a small amount in her hand. She took a pinch and placed it on my tongue, then mixed the rest in her palm with a little liquor and swiped it across my lips. I smiled at her. "Told you it was usually common sense."

I took a minute to get settled back into the seat. "Okay," I said, trying to hide my nerves. "Let the grilling begin. If it's alright with you guys, I'd like to begin by explaining some things, and then if you all have questions I'll answer whatever you want."

They all nodded.

"You all know I'm fae, but I haven't really told you what that means. Obviously, I have some abilities. You know about the mental shield, but you don't know it's expanded quite a bit since Forks. I can control it now, and cover other people in about a five foot radius if I so choose. It can block Alice's visions, and I can mute what Jasper can read from me, but not fully block it - yet. I have the same super-intuition as Peter. I know instinctively if someone is lying, but it only works if I am in their presence. I can make and use fairy dust and lights; I can also cast spells, but usually they're not as potent as if a witch had cast it. I can levitate - and yes, I can do so at will, not just when I am angry. I glow when I feel strongly."

I paused and took a large swig of my drink before continuing, "All that, you've seen already, so those things you know; here is what you don't. I am semi-immortal - I stopped aging about four years ago, and I don't get sick anymore. I don't need to sleep as much as a normal human, although I can and I like to. I sometimes need to after using energy, even if I draw it from somewhere else. And I have a couple more, weaker abilities that I haven't shown you yet."

To demonstrate, I looked at the pack of smokes and curled my hand, and it drifted lazily toward me. I opened the pack and remove one, put it to my lips, and rubbed my thumb across my forefinger, creating a flame. I lit the cigarette, pinched the flame out, and gestured back toward the table, sending the pack back to where it had been sitting before. The red eyes watching me went wide.

"Like I said, they're weak. I can't move anything much heavier than that pack, and the small flame is about the extent of what I can produce. I can't sustain either for very long - they take too much energy to use. This is what I know of, but these last two are new, and from my research...it's possible I could end up with a few more."

"It also affects my personality, to a degree. Jasper, we talked a little about how I changed beginning on my 18th birthday, about how I'd go from excited and energetic to irritated all day. That has mellowed, but it hasn't really changed very much, and it's a result of the fae blood in me becoming active. From there, I don't know how much of my personality has changed as a result of that specifically, or from the life experiences I've had since. I suspect that maybe my love of fucking with people who tick me off stems from that side, but I can't tell entirely for sure."

I took in a deep breath. "On that note, I owe you all, but most especially you, J, an apology. After you told me what you did...I feel like maybe I manipulated you into giving me an answer, and it wasn't fair to you. If you want to walk away, I'd understand, but I'd like you to hear me out first."

He nodded at me but said nothing, his face expressionless.

"On the night we met, I did fuck with you a little. Your attitude was pissing me off, so I decided to ah...bend some truths. The thing is that when I said some of them, my radar buzzed in to let me know I wasn't actually lying like I thought I was. I asked you all to make a choice, and you did, and we _are_ all tied. That wasn't a lie. I could have told you about me that night though, and not made you guess. That was just me having a little bit of fun. I almost did tell you once, but again," I tapped the side of my head. "Things were unfolding how they should, so I let it lie."

"The part about the Cullens and associating with people with mental gifts was true until I gave you the lights, and I wasn't planning to give them to you at the time. Not until I realized once you left my circle and my shield, Alice might see you. Carlisle's association with The Volturi _is_ problematic. They cannot learn about me. Other than that, everything I said was true." I sent him my apology by directing my emotions at him; regret, sadness, and guilt. I bit my lip and looked away while I waited for his response.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"Yeah. That's everything," I replied.

"Bella, that isn't anything. That's you protecting your own ass because you wanted to feel us out, and you're right. I was being a dick. I deserved it, and my answer wouldn't have changed either way," he said, shaking his head.

"That's it? You're not pissed?" I might have been pressing my luck, but I wanted to be sure.

"No. I can't say I wouldn't have done something similar. But maybe don't do it again, yeah? I believe you said you'd been manipulated enough for one lifetime, and I certainly agree with that sentiment for myself."

I smiled. "Alright. I can do that. I think." I winked at him, and he raised his eyebrow at me, and everything was good again.

I blew out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Alright, now that's out of the way, there's still a lot more I have to tell you. So much, in fact, that I'm not really even sure where to start."

Jasper smirked a little and said, "Why not start at the beginning? What happened after Edward left?"

"I guess that's as good a place as any," I agreed warily. I could do this. I'd have to talk about some shit that was painful, but if Jasper told me his and Peter and Char's, I could tell them mine. It was only fair. "Alright, so...to recap for Peter Pan and Wendy, after the 'accident'," I used air quotes, yes I did, "there was three days of Edward ignoring me. I think now he was trying to distance himself or something. I was too wrapped up in my own shit to notice, though. He took me into the woods…"

There was a round of hissing and some growls when I explained how Edward had broken up with me in greater detail than I'd given Jasper the first time. I didn't know who they were from, though; I was too busy studying the fibers of the material the couch was made of. I might recognize the need to retell this, but seeing their reactions would be too much. I did not love Edward anymore and I understood what had been wrong with the relationship, but recalling the brutal death of my epic first love was still painful, and verbalizing it all without a veneer of humor was worse. I avoided it whenever possible.

"...and then he left me alone in the woods. I didn't know what to do, so I chased him for a while. I ended up tripping, and passed out. Sam brought me home some time later. I don't know how long I was out there, only that it was long enough for Charlie to get worried and organize a search."

"After that, the wolves took an interest in me. Jake - Jacob Black - wouldn't leave me alone to wallow. Which was just as well, because I was still emotionally volatile. Over the few months that followed, instead of just the excitement and annoyance, I had periods of extreme sadness and sometimes rage. I didn't recognize myself, and the wolves, but especially Jake, helped keep me centered. He wanted more from me - a relationship, but I was incapable of it at the time."

"After one particularly bad outburst, caused by Jake jokingly telling me to upgrade my truck, Sam decided something more than typical breakup drama was wrong with me. They brought me to the elders, who said I had magic inside me. They didn't know the nature of it, or so they said. I don't know if they were telling the truth or not. They were always wary of me because of my previous association with vampires."

"About six months after the Cullens left, I finally agreed to try dating Jake. It actually went surprisingly well, given everything. It wasn't the same, all-consuming type of love I'd felt with Edward, but I did love Jake. We relied on each other. He was warm and easy and understanding of my emotional issues. Until he got the phasing sickness. I was allowed to know what was going on only because the elders reasoned I was destined for the supernatural anyway. They figured I'd be his imprint and bring strength to the tribe. Three months from the time we'd begun dating, we found out they were wrong. Jake imprinted, but not on me."

"The morning after I found out, I woke up hovering four feet above my bed. I, naturally, freaked the fuck out. It took me forever to figure out how to move and even longer to figure out how to get down. Thank the gods Charlie was at work that day. At first, I couldn't control it at all, until I realized I'd wake up floating after a particularly bad day. Once I realized it was the pent-up negative emotions fuelling it, I was able to figure out how to do it at-will. I'd practice whenever I was home alone. I still didn't know what the hell it was, and I was halfway convinced I was hallucinating it. I didn't tell or show anyone. I might've shown Jake or Sam, but my contact with them ended with my relationship with Jake. That became clear to me when I came home a couple of weeks later."

I paused then, and looked around. They were all watching me, hanging on my every word. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was the very worst part of my story. I knew it needed to be told, but it was hard. I felt a sob building in my chest at the thought, and shoved it back down, willing the moisture to leave my eyes.

Jasper got up from his spot and moved to my couch, pulling me into his side and wrapping an arm around me. His hand rested on my arm; he was sending me waves of calm through the connection. I gave him a grateful smile, and shook my head.

"I...Thank you. This part is hard. Give me a minute," I asked quietly.

Nobody said anything, and I was glad for it. I willed myself to let Jasper calm me, and find it in me to say the words. After what felt like hours, I downed the rest of my glass in one gulp and steeled myself to continue.

"I came home from work to find Renee's car parked in the driveway next to the cruiser. I was excited; I hadn't seen Mom in a long time. When I walked into the house, though, I found a scene straight out of a horror movie. They were in the living room, you see. Renee and Phil on the couch and Charlie in his chair. But something was wrong. It took me longer than it should have to register that the only part of the room not covered in blood was their faces."

"It was Victoria. She left me a note."

Jasper stiffened next to me and shot Peter a look that spoke murder. I couldn't address it. I needed to get through this.

"She wanted me in revenge for James' life. She wanted to relieve me of everything I held dear; destroy me in every way possible before ending me. I took the note straight to Billy. He told me the wolves didn't protect them, because of me. Because they figured if it was vampire, I must have welcomed it. That was when I glowed for the first time. I was so devastated, so furious...it was very bright. The look on Billy's face when he saw it, right as he realized his prejudice had gotten his best friend killed...I won't ever forget it. I just left then. Nothing I did or could have done then would ever be a better revenge than letting him live with the consequences of his own choices."

Charlotte interrupted as I was about to continue, "Bella, I hate to interrupt you honey, but I need to go destroy something in the worst way." I looked around, and Peter and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"I understand. I could use a little bit of recovery time myself," I answered. And it was true, I needed some sleep. I was drained. "How about I'll go take a nap and you guys can wake me when you get back," I offered.

"Use my suite," was all Jasper said before the three of them bolted from the house.


	10. Chapter 10

**JPOV**

We ran hard and fast from the house, ending up several miles away before we found a forest large enough to bear the brunt of our anger. After twenty minutes or so, it had a sizable new clearing. None of us were done yet, but if we kept at it it'd become noticeable from above, so I attacked Peter and set off a round of vicious sparring matches between the three of us. It was another couple of hours and several new scars on each of us before any of us were calmed enough to speak.

"Fuckin' Cullens!" Peter spat.

I could only nod. I'd known it was a mistake to leave Bella behind alone, unprotected. I'd been overruled, of course. Edward had insisted, and Alice backed him up, saying it would all be fine. Nobody else's opinion mattered. What the fuck were those two playing at? How much of what Bella had to go through since we left her had Alice seen before Bella's shield was strong enough to block her?

"Fuckin' _wolves_!" Charlotte hissed in response.

I nodded at that too, far more grimly. At least I understood the Cullens' reasoning, or thought I had. Victoria had been brought up as a loose end of the James situation, but Alice's claim that nothing would happen had negated that argument for staying. At least the Cullens could pretend they'd been ignorant of the situation. I suspected they weren't, not to all of it, but it'd be damn hard to prove otherwise. The wolves, however, should have fucking known better. Their sole purpose for existing was to protect against vampires, and they had willingly neglected that duty. I wanted to know why. Bella had said something, toward the end, but I'd been seeing a haze of red since she described the way she'd found her parents and said Victoria's name.

Bella. We'd left her alone at the house, after making her relive all that. Fuck.

"Listen, I know our shit-list just gained several members, but we need to get back to Bella now. We need to hear out the rest of her story before we go on a murderous rampage," I reasoned.

"Right. Listen now, but rampage later. One hell of a fucking rampage later," Peter said darkly. I agreed but said nothing, just turned and ran back toward the house.

As I ran, I quickly processed the rest of the conversation in my mind. Her powers were interesting, but nothing that she could use offensively...except perhaps the last two, if they grew. Control of fire was an exceedingly rare and dangerous gift in vampires, and most who had it were killed quickly, either in an accident they caused themselves or for the threat they posed to others. That kind of power couldn't be controlled - not by the person who wielded it and not by any who might be controlling them. Even if she had other reasons, and I suspected she might, the Volturi definitely could not find out about her for that power alone. Nevermind the rest of the set she possessed. Hell, for just her shield they'd change her instantly. Then again, if it stopped Chelsea's bonds, maybe not. Maybe they'd prefer her dead since she had so many powers already. I wondered what would happen if she were to be changed. Would her powers grow? Would she lose some, gain more? Could she even be changed at this point? Did Bella already know the answers to these questions? Regardless, I'd have to wait to ask her. If she was still willing, we really needed to hear the rest of her story.

When I arrived back in the yard, I found Bella leaning against the back door's frame with a small smile on her face. Hadn't she said she had to sleep?

"Have fun making mulch, J?"

"I'd hardly call it fun, but we all feel better. Sorry we left you like that - are you alright? Did you sleep?"

"I did, thanks. You picked a comfortable bed, for a guy who doesn't sleep. And don't apologize, I get it."

"Do you ever just accept apologies?"

"Only when they're called for. This one isn't. You should really learn to accept yourself, J," she said tiredly.

Did I not? What did she see that made her think I didn't? Was she right? Once again, this girl astounded me.

I looked at her, puzzled, but she just shook her head. "Not now, I need to finish telling my story if that's alright. Better to get it all out of the way. Are Peter and Char coming back soon?"

Just as she finished the question, they broke out of the treeline. She caught their eyes and nodded at them, glancing at me briefly before she walked back into the house and settled back into her previous spot on the couch.

She declined our offers for food, instead indicating she had everything she needed right there on the table. It seemed as though she was just waiting on us to be ready to hear the rest, but I couldn't read any impatience from her. There was only a thin current of resignation, and a readiness to have this all over with.

As I made to sit down in the chair I'd been occupying previously, she asked, "J, could you sit with me again? I'm guessing I'm going to need to rehash some stuff, judging by how fast your eyes turned black and you took off out of here."

"Of course," I replied, already seated next to her. I would to let her decide how close or not she wanted to get. At least this way there was proximity if I was needed. With her shield, having physical contact with her made it much easier to influence her emotions. She scooted closer to me and grabbed my hand.

Through the physical contact, I felt her nerves and her somber mood. I hoped her story went in a happier direction after this, because it was clearly taking a toll on her to tell. Hell, it was hard for all of us to hear.

Peter started. "Bella, can you explain a little more about what happened when you went to see Billy? I don't think any of us were listening as closely as we should have been," he asked apologetically.

Her emotions were a whirl of anger, sadness, and resignation when she responded,"I know, Peter Pan, it's okay. Billy told me that the reason the wolves did not come to our aid was because of me. The elders had reasoned that, given my involvement with vampires previously and my obvious-to-them supernatural nature, it must be a vampire I knew or would welcome. To me, the logic is thin. I think the elders knew or assumed something about me they weren't telling me, and chose not to protect me out of fear. If I wasn't meant to help strengthen their tribe, then I was a threat in their eyes. That would also explain why when Jake imprinted, the pack cut off all contact with me. Whether Victoria would be friendly or not was irrelevant to them; if she was, I would 'die', and if not, I would still die. Either way I was out of their way." I sent her calm and peace as she spoke - not enough to replace her own emotions but enough to help her control them.

"I don't think it ever occurred to them that Charlie would be in danger," she continued. "I'm not defending them by any means, but the look Billy had on his face. Whether it was fear of me or prejudice against my relationship with the Cullens that stopped them from doing their jobs that day, he knew the gravity of the mistake when I told him. Charlie was his best friend; Billy would never have sacrificed him or even taken the chance of it if the only reason was to make a point. He was devastated. As he should have been."

"You don't want us to go after them," I said. It wasn't a question. I felt the sincerity in her emotions when she spoke, but there was no lingering anger and definitely no emotions that suggested a need for revenge. She felt as though she was talking about something very sad that she'd come to terms with. I guessed that was actually the case.

"No," she agreed. "Billy should have to live with his mistake. Death teaches no lessons."

I couldn't argue with her there. I felt no small amount of respect wafting from Peter and Charlotte over her decision, and I knew they agreed too. It wasn't the justice my instincts were screaming for, but it was perhaps the best punishment available. To live the rest of your life with the knowledge of the wrongs you'd committed and the consequences, with no way to ever put it right.

"We'll respect your decision then," Peter said. "Can you tell us what happened next?"

I felt some relief come from Bella and she nodded. "After that night I used what savings I had to stay in a hotel until Charlie's funeral. The guys from the station were a huge help. They basically handled Charlie's funeral arrangements for me, and afterward arranged for some items to be picked up from the house for me. They'd seen the crime scene and knew I wouldn't want to go back."

"The day after Charlie's funeral, I flew to Florida to deal with Renee and Phil's. Phil's family had pretty much taken care of the arrangements and getting the bodies to where they needed to be. Turned out Phil had been smart and gotten Renee to set up a will. They left their house to me. Of course, Charlie left me everything too. I couldn't go back to that house, though, or Forks for that matter, so I chose to live at Renee and Phil's house. The added vampire protection from the sun also helped that decision."

"One of my great-aunts came to Renee's funeral and made a point to spend some time with me. I thought it was weird seeing as I'd never even heard of her before the funeral, but I was alone and didn't want to be, so I let her. It wasn't long before I slipped in front of her and floated to reach something on a high shelf in the kitchen, but she wasn't surprised. She just asked me, 'How long?' as if she'd just been waiting for it. I told her everything then. She recognized what was happening to me; well, some of it anyway. Turned out her grandmother had had some of the same abilities I was now displaying."

"She gave me our complete family tree and history dating back centuries, along with her grandmother's journals. Luckily for me, great-great-great-grandma had known a lot more than I did and wrote down all the stories and legends she'd learned from her family and her own research. She detailed each ability and its use and how to control them, which has been extremely helpful for me. She even wrote in a fair amount about other supernatural races and her experiences with them and what to expect there."

I couldn't help interrupting, "She had contact with other supernatural races too?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah. Turns out, fae act as sort of a magnet for other supernaturals. If you think about it, that shouldn't surprise you all that much. The Cullens, James, Victoria, the wolves. There have been others since. You all, now, even."

She had a point there. I'd never thought about it that way, but… "You're not a full fae, though. At least, that's what you told us." I was careful to keep my tone from becoming anything that might be construed as accusatory. I was just genuinely curious, and I sent the emotion through the connection of our linked hands.

She answered me with a small smile, "I don't know if there are any full fae left. I don't know if there's anyone like me, but I don't think there is, because I've done a shit-load of research beyond just those journals to figure my own self out."

I was still not putting it together. It felt like I was missing something, and I felt the same from Peter and Charlotte. I didn't know how to phrase the question, so I just pushed our emotions through again.

"Alright, I guess it's time for a small detour from my personal story?"

We all nodded.

She smiled again and her voice took on an almost clinical tone as she spoke, "As best I have been able to dig up, before non-human races made the choice to become hidden, it wasn't uncommon for those races to uh... _mix_ with humans. In fact, most of the supernatural beings left that aren't caused by venom or extraordinary circumstance are part human."

"In the case of humans with a fae ancestor, the fae traits tend to be recessive, only showing up every few generations. Even when it does, a person with active fae blood might never know there's anything special about themselves at all. They'll usually have some version of one or more of the abilities, but extremely weakened. In my case, both my mother and father's bloodlines have fae blood, and in my mother's line I know for certain it was more than usual because there are several bloodlines combined throughout the tree. I am less sure of my father's because I don't have journals from his side, but suspect it's roughly the same. It manifested itself in me in the form of my mental shield from birth, then became more pronounced gradually beginning on my eighteenth birthday - the date when I was officially considered adult. I would never have known it existed without having met the Cullens."

"I don't know the exact reason why my fae blood became so strongly active, or why I seem to slowly be gaining abilities over time. From the journals, I should only have one ability, two at most. I think maybe it's because I was exposed to vampire venom. It's not as if very many humans come in contact with that and don't die or change, after all."

She stopped for a minute to take a pull of her smoke, and Peter took the opportunity to ask, "What would vampire venom have to do with it?"

She thought for a minute before responding, "Carlisle's theory about why some vampires are gifted - that it's a strengthening of their strongest human traits - is mostly accurate, but the piece he is missing is that all _gifted_ vampires had active fae abilities as humans. That is the source of their, your, gifts. My theory is that the venom I was exposed to strengthened the fae part of my blood, causing the dormant traits to become active. I don't know for sure. I still have a lot of questions about the whys myself, but it's the best explanation I've come up with."

Was she really saying what I was hearing? I had fae blood, as a human? Every gifted vampire had? That would explain why they were so rare, I supposed.

I cut in then, "How do you know all this about vampires' gifts, Bella? It's not that I don't believe you, but Carlisle has been researching the source of vampiric gifts for centuries, and that's a big thing for him to miss. I know gifted vampires are more the exception than the rule, but it still seems like one of them must have known what they were?"

"I think you must be right, but I have no way to truly know," she replied. "I have no idea why Carlisle couldn't find that link. I do know that, from the journals and my own research, I think there is a special link between fae and vampires. It goes beyond just being drawn to each other. There's the thing with the gifts, but vampires also won't kill a human with active fae blood. They might attack but it will always end in the fae human being changed. That is why I held no fear of you then, and don't now. It's why Edward was able to stop before draining me in Phoenix, how he resisted his singer for all that time, and it's how I knew, instinctively at the time, I would be fine on my birthday. We also smell much better than usual humans to vampires."

She looked directly at me when speaking the last part. I understood that this was the part of the explanation about her birthday that she'd withheld from me before. I sent her acceptance in response.

"You do smell damn appetizing," Peter commented. Char smacked him, but nodded a little guiltily.

"I know. Thanks for not eating me," she replied with a grin.

I was once again confused, however. "You don't smell like food to me at all. You smell really good, don't get me wrong, but it's not appetizing. I don't have any desire whatsoever to eat you," I said.

Her brow furrowed and she glanced at Peter, who shrugged and shook his head.

"I'm not sure why that would be, J. Are you sure it's not just you have better control now?"

"I'm sure. You smell like lavender, roses, bergamot, sandalwood and a hint of cedar. It's wonderful, but it's not food. It doesn't even cause an itch. Although I don't suppose it really matters; your point still holds. If I found a human who smelled that good but didn't want to eat, I'd probably be tempted to follow them and learn more about them."

She nodded with a weak smile. "We'll look into it, okay? I don't know if we'll find anything, though. I've never heard of that happening before."

I felt her bewilderment at my revelation, followed shortly by a burst of reassurance. She was trying to tell me it wasn't a bad thing; was that her radar speaking?

"What about the Volturi? You said a vampire wouldn't kill you, but they would?" Charlotte asked.

"You won't kill me for food. If you had a good reason to kill me beyond just needing to feed or instinct, then you could. I guess I should have clarified that point," she said apologetically.

"No, it's fine- makes sense, even. But why would the Volturi want to kill you?" she asked.

"Because of everything I've explained since we got here. What if I'm wrong? What if, when I get bitten again the venom enhances the power I already have? There's abilities, in my mother's bloodline for sure, that aren't active yet, would those switch on? If so, I'd be too powerful. Either they'd view me as too big a threat, or they'd try to force me into service with them, something I will not allow."

I had already put most of this together for myself earlier, but I was glad to hear confirmation of at least some of my suspicions. Still, there was something in her answer that clicked with me.

"So, wait a minute," I interrupted, "Are you saying specific abilities run in individual bloodlines?"

She nodded, smiling. She sent me excitement and anticipation. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying."

It didn't take Peter long to catch on. At first his face was blank, but it quickly broke out in a huge grin. "Oh man, Major. Emmett's gonna be so fuckin' jealous!"

I chuckled at him while Char gave him another smack to the back of the head.

"Bella, do you happen to know exactly how you're related to Peter?" Charlotte asked.

"I think so, yes. That's why I asked for my laptop earlier. I have all the trees mapped and stored on there. You want to take a look now, Peter Pan?"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely!" He said. He and Char around to where we were so they could see the laptop screen as Bella opened it up and pulled up the family tree information.

"Now, the radar, that comes from my mother's side. Her maiden name was Higgenbotham, does that sound familiar to you?" she asked him.

He looked stricken and didn't answer. I watched with great interest as Bella continued clicking through screens to zoom on what she needed.

"I thought it might. Here you are," she pointed to the screen. "Peter Higgenbotham, born 1880, declared dead in absentia as of 1903. Married with one son."

He stared at the screen for a minute, speechless. Finally, he asked, his voice almost raspy, "I remember her. I have flashes of memories...I don't remember the baby, though. What happened to them?"

"They moved north, and it looks like your wife died in 1919 of an illness. Your son, though, got married and had kids of his own, look. Follow his tree."

He scrolled down, following the branch of the tree Bella had isolated. When he got to the bottom, he turned around and looked at her in wonder. When he finally spoke, nobody was expecting what came out of his mouth. "You'd better not start callin' me Grandpa."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Peter Pan," she answered him, smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

**BPOV**

Peter seemed elated to find out we were family, and I was thrilled too. I'd known there must be a close connection once I realized we had the same gift, but hadn't put it together til I looked at the chart myself. Being his direct descendant probably meant as much to me as it did to him; I had family again. I had some cousins still alive I'd tell them about soon, but they were...well, it just wasn't the same.

"Bella?" Charlotte interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for what you've given him. You seem to know a lot about vampires, but I don't know if you realize how far removed most of us are from our human lives. Peter's had nothing but short bursts of memory for years, and no way to know what any of it meant. I don't know if you realize, but you haven't just given him back his past; you've given him his family," she told me, her voice full of emotion.

"Small as it is," I answered. "He's the closest family I've got now, too, you know."

She didn't respond to that except to envelop me in a tight hug, which I welcomed and returned.

"Really?" Peter asked from behind her, looking up from his section of the family tree. "What happened to your aunt?"

"Ruby is her name, and I don't actually know. One day she was just gone," I told him. "She stayed with me for over a year, and then I woke up one morning to a note that said she had to go, she loved me, and we'd see each other again. I haven't yet, though. That was about five years ago, now."

"You miss her?" Jasper asked.

"All the time," I admitted. "I wish I knew why she left. At least she left a note, I guess. I don't know what I would have done after everything happened if she hadn't been there. Phil's family basically washed their hands of me once the will was settled, not that I can blame them. I had nobody else, though. She was there with the answers I needed, when I needed them the most. I needed her, too. She was so vibrant, bubbly even," I smiled thinking about her.

"She definitely didn't act her age at all. She knew when to let me wallow and when to prod me out of my shell. She took me to concerts or out dancing. She got me drunk for the first time and many times after that. She also protected me, and gave the best advice. She acted like what a best friend and a mother should be, all wrapped into one. She helped me find what I needed in the journals, and she's also the one that encouraged me to organize all the family tree information digitally."

"It sounds like she was a positive influence for you. I wonder why she'd leave without leaving a way to contact her," Peter mused.

"Radar's blank on that for you too, then?" He nodded. I sighed a little. "I can't say I wasn't hoping maybe yours would tell you something. I honestly don't know. Looking back, I guess I really didn't know that much about her, but I'm sure she had her reasons."

"What did you do after she left?" he asked.

"I stayed for a couple more months on my own, and then one day I got a feeling and left to go track down some cousins I'd found through tracing Charlie's family tree."

"Cousins?" Jasper questioned.

"Yeah. Distant cousins. The branch they're on split from mine a few generations back, but the radar said to go hunt them down, so I did."

"Are you going to make us draw it out of you bit by bit?" he asked, his exasperation laced with humor.

I shrugged apologetically. "No, I just haven't had to tell anyone all of this before. I was trying to think of a way to tell it without just blurting it all, but I guess there's really nothing for it," I explained.

"I found the cousins in New Orleans, with their coven. They're witches. Real ones. One of the Swans at some point married a witch, and that's why the branch split from the rest of the family. Anyway, they'd known I was coming, and what I was - shocker. They were able to kindof pick up where Ruby left off, but with other things. Where Ruby helped me with the radar, and with levitation and controlling the glowing, my cousins, Holly and Joel, helped me figure out the lie-detector. They also taught me how to collect and use energy and some spells. It was actually buried in one of their spellbooks that I found the information on fairy lights. I wasn't able to take those, but since I was technically family they did let me copy what I wanted."

Charlotte perked up a bit at this, and I knew what her question was.

"They knew that my side of their family had fae blood. In fact, fae blood interacts with witch blood similarly to vampires; if the two combine in children it produces abnormally strong witches with extra abilities. According to them, because the fae blood was so many generations back, they don't have the ability to make lights anymore, but the first few after combining with my family did. I guess over time the witch blood took over in a more dominant way," I shrugged.

They were all looking at me curiously now. "What?" I asked, a little uncomfortable with the intense focus.

Jasper spoke first, "I thought you said you didn't have the documentation of abilities on Charlie's side?"

"I don't. My cousins had some knowledge, but they didn't know what came from the fae blood and what was from the witch side. Beyond what I already exhibited, anyway. Their grimoires were written by witch ancestors, so it wasn't possible to determine what came from where. I guess they didn't think it was important enough to write down."

"And you're still gaining abilities," Peter added.

"It seems that way, yes."

"So what are the other possibilities?" he asked.

"That haven't manifested? Teleportation, elemental control, weather control, telepathy, energy and matter manipulation, and illusion."

"Holy shit," the guys breathed in unison. Charlotte just looked stunned.

I let the silence continue for a few minutes before I felt I needed to say something. "This is the part where you can all run screaming," I offered with forced humor in my voice. Truthfully, I was afraid they actually would. It was a lot. What I could do now, it wasn't nothing, but mostly it was hat tricks and defensive power. If any of those other abilities manifested, or if my two newest got any stronger, I could be considered dangerous. I was nervous about it, too. How could one person control all that and not be corrupted?

"We aren't going anywhere, Bella," Jasper said forcefully.

"Absolutely not," Charlotte agreed.

"No fuckin' way," Peter chimed in.

I sat back against the the sofa, relieved and yet unable to fully believe them. Jasper must've caught some of it through my shield, because he rounded on me quickly. "You yourself said we're in this together now, Bella. As I recall, you just about ripped me a new asshole for even suggesting you'd take off. I don't know why you seem to feel that we're just itching to go abandoning you, but that just ain't happenin', darlin'. Best get used to us now, cause as far as we're concerned you made your choice when you gave us ours." It wasn't lost on me that as he spoke, his accent seemed to slip out more. It'd happened when he'd gotten upset in the car, too.

"The Major there has it," Peter agreed. "We're family now, regardless of blood relation. So you're a powerful little pixie. That means fuck-all to us where you're concerned. We're vicious ass vampires, for fuck's sake. We're nobody to judge you. We'll figure it out. _Together._ "

Charlotte nodded along to both of their speeches, and when they were done she added, "Plus, I don't know about you Bella, but it's been a damn long time since I had a female friend, and I don't think I've ever had a sister. You aren't getting rid of me so easily, either."

"Goddamn crazy ass vampires," I muttered. Internally though, I had the warm fuzzies. The last time I'd felt so accepted was with Ruby, and even then she'd been holding back on me. I'd never had a true family of my own before. It was foreign, and would take some getting used to, but it was...nice. It probably wouldn't last, but I'd take it where I could get it while it did.

"You're goddamn right! It'd have to be a fuckin' moron to accuse me of being sane!" Peter cried, and the tension I'd felt broke as we all laughed.

"So, how'd you go from staying with a coven of witches to alone in Boston?" Char asked.

I opened my mouth to answer when Jasper's phone started ringing. He fished it out of his pocket, glanced at the screen, and held it up for me to see. Emmett.

"Answer it," I said.

He pressed the screen and greeted, "Em."

Emmett's jovial voice boomed through the speaker, "Hey bro! I hear you might've got yourself into some trouble. Wanna explain?"

I tensed at the phrasing of the question, but Jasper held up a hand and shook his head. "What exactly did you hear?" he asked.

"Oh, not much. Just that you lost your marbles and kidnapped some human that looks like Bella. I know you feel bad about her death, bro, we all do, but…"

"Emmett, let me guess. Alice called you?" Jasper cut him off.

"Well yeah."

"And that's what she told you?"

"Yeah…" I heard the doubt in Emmett's voice, and I understood. He didn't want to believe Jasper capable of something like this, but it wasn't always so easy to discount Alice's visions.

"Emmett, she's full of shit." Jasper sighed.

"I'm sorry bro, but I had to ask. I mean, why would Alice make up some shit like that?" Now he sounded relieved and a little pissed.

"Probably because she didn't like what I had to say when I spoke with her yesterday and she was hoping you'd track me down for her." Peter looked up when he said that, but stayed silent. I guessed Jasper hadn't filled them in on our conversation with Alice yesterday.

"Why? Can't she do that herself?"

Jasper looked at me and glanced to the phone and then back to me, silently asking if it was okay to give away my presence. Well, what the hell? I'd already blown my cover to Alice. At least Emmett liked me. I held out my hand, and Jasper placed the phone in it.

"No, she can't, Em," I said.

There was silence for a minute and I was about to check the connection when he finally responded. "Bella? Is that you? I thought you were dead."

"I'm not dead, Em. I don't know why you all seem to think I am, but I'm very much alive."

"Alice said you disappeared from her visions after Charlie's funeral...we assumed Victoria had got you. What are you doing with Jasper?"

"Yeah well, Alice isn't very reliable where I'm concerned. Or at all, if my suspicions are correct. And Jasper found me a couple days ago. I think he was more surprised than I was." I wasn't going to spill all the beans to him just yet, and I didn't owe him anything, least of all an explanation. I still hadn't gotten one from him, after all.

"What..?" he sputtered, and then started laughing. "Oh, this is too good! Bella, Bella, Bella! She can't see you, can she? And you're blocking her from Jazzman too? Excellent!"

I laughed, "Basically, yeah. She doesn't know it's me blocking him, though."

"What did you say to her to make her try and send me and Rosie on a mission ready to pummel his ass?" he asked, the glee evident in his voice. I never knew Emmett liked drama so much, but I wasn't going to deny him his fun.

"Nothing, really. We might've let her think we were _together_ , though…" I had to hold the phone away from my ear; the laughter was deafening. I glanced over to Peter and Charlotte, who were leaning on each other, shaking with laughter. Jasper and I grinned at each other.

I heard Rosalie's voice in the background on the other end, and Emmett quickly explain to her what was going on. To my great surprise, I heard her laughing too before Em's voice came through again, "Rosie's here Bella, she'd like to speak to you."

"That's fine, Em."

"Hi Bella, good to hear you've grown yourself some balls," Rosalie greeted, amusement in her voice.

"Hello to you too, Rosalie."

"Look, I just wanted to say I'm glad you're not dead. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you. Maybe someday you'll let me explain why?" she asked.

It wasn't what I'd been expecting to hear, but I'd take it. "Apology accepted, but I will want those details later."

"Good. You know Emmett's going to want to see you, can we come visit? I assume you aren't actually in St. Louis," she said. No beating around the bush with Rose, I guess.

"No, we aren't. We're with Peter and Charlotte, but as long as Alice can still see you two I'd rather not give out our location. Are you two alone or living with the family?"

"We're alone right now, have been for a while and will be for the foreseeable future. You know of a way to block her?" she asked.

"I do. How bout you give J your address? We'll let you two know when we're ready for a visit."

Rosalie agreed and I handed the phone back to Jasper. As soon as he hung up, Charlotte immediately asked about the conversation with Alice. We recounted it for their benefit, and by the time we were finished they were both laughing hysterically again.

"I always did hate that little bitch!" Peter said.

"Glad to hear you got some digs in finally," Char added approvingly.

"What about Em and Rose, Bella? Do you want to see them?" Jasper asked.

"I'll need to make them a pair of lights, but otherwise I'm fine with it. Maybe we could let things settle a little here first, though?" I asked. "It's been a busy few days," I explained.

Truth be told, I wasn't opposed to seeing them, but I did need some time first. I didn't want to let the Cullens back into my life that easily, and although I'd been closest to Emmett (aside from Edward and Alice) before everything happened, he still left. He never said goodbye or explained why or tried to contact me. The fact that he and Rosalie were on their own was a good thing as far as the now was concerned, but to me it just made it worse. They'd been on their own and he still never even tried. He just took Alice's word that because I was gone from her visions, I must be dead. Didn't he ever go look for my grave? No, I wouldn't be forgiving Emmett that easily.

"Of course," he answered.

I realized that once Alice figured out that Emmett and Rosalie weren't going to be hunting Jasper down for her, she'd likely try to send someone else. Carlisle and Esme, perhaps? Edward, even? I cringed internally. I didn't want to see or hear from any of them in the least. While Alice couldn't see us and would have very hard time getting the drop on us thanks to Peter and I's radars, I was a little worried she'd find other ways to make herself a thorn in my side. For now, however, I needed to finish filling them in on things. We could deal with the Alice problem later.

"Alright, so, now that the interruptions are over, can I finish my story? I'd like to get through it tonight, if that's okay," I announced, effectively changing the subject.

Peter waved with his arm in a 'the floor is yours' gesture, and I nodded.

"Okay. Where were we?"

"You told us about your witch cousins, and then your abilities," Charlotte said.

"Right. Okay. So, I stayed in New Orleans for about two years. I found an apartment down there and lived alone while I worked with them on things. They were nice to me, and they did help me out a lot, but I always felt like something was a little off with their coven. Now, I need to explain something about my radar; it gets stronger and weaker depending on how much I use it. I hadn't been using it much while I was with them. I hadn't seen the need - they knew everything anyway. So I didn't really recognize the "off" feeling for what it was. I was learning what I wanted to and I was focused on figuring out what was going on with me, so I ignored it."

"That's never a good idea, Bella," Peter stated seriously. I really hoped he wasn't about to try and take up the role of being my great-great-great grandfather as if he were an actual father figure. Not after his speech about Volturi disco balls. That shit just wasn't going to happen.

"I know that now, Peter Pan. I just didn't get it then. I'd never ignored it before, so I didn't know. Holly and Joel were really helpful and they seemed like they genuinely cared. I fell in love, or thought I did, with one of their coven mates, a guy named Thad. I thought I was just being paranoid about being left again. I was fine, in a good place, I thought. I didn't know."

"So what happened, then?" he asked.

"I only know what I overheard, and that was enough for me to piece most of it together, I think. I was early one night in getting to the bar we all hung out at, and I heard Coen talking to Thad about me. At first it sounded pretty innocent, but then he asked how much longer things were going to take, and it all kindof went downhill from there. I hope you don't mind if I gloss over some of the gorier details, but the upshot of it is that Thad was using me, at Coen's direction. I told you what happens when you combine fae and witch bloodlines, yeah? He wanted Thad to get me pregnant."

"We'd been together for over a year, but I'd kindof held out on the sex thing. After Edward and Jake...I just wasn't ready. Maybe on some level I had known it wasn't a good idea. The way he'd been talking to Coen left no doubt in my mind that the idea of me...well, of that...it wasn't a situation that would have eventually happened anyway if Thad was acting of his own accord, let's put it that way. I mean, he'd been pressuring me about it for a while leading up to that night, but I'd had no idea of the reason why. I thought he'd just been um...eager."

"When I found out, I knew I had to leave. I went and packed my shit. Holly found me, and she knew as soon as she saw my face. She didn't even have to ask me what was wrong; she knew what was going on. She didn't try to stop me, though. She let me leave without an argument. I had no goal this time, so I just went until I stopped feeling 'wrong'. I learned to rely on my radar to figure out where to go, where to sleep or find work, pretty much everything. Every few months or so I'd get a feeling and need to take off again. I've been travelling like that ever since, up until a few days ago," I finished.

"And is it this guy that's tripping your radar when it tells you to move?" Jasper asked.

"I honestly don't know. I don't know whatever happened to Victoria, but I doubt she'd give up on me that easily. I suspect she's still around. It could be Coen, alone or with some of his coven. I don't honestly believe Holly would help him, but she did pass him information on me, so," I shrugged. "I just don't know. I know that when the radar says it's time to go, I get my ass in gear. That's all."

"I don't know, Bella. You told me in Boston that your radar said you had to go, even if we were with you. We could take Victoria with no problem. Witches, though...can't say I have any experience there," Jasper was thinking out loud.

"And they do know about vampires," I added. "Most of what I know about your species I learned from them, from their grimoires."

"Can we just take a minute to talk about what shitheads these guys are? I mean, they plotted to use you to get you pregnant so they could have a hybrid baby? That's fucking insane!" Charlotte growled.

"The worst part, or the best, depending on how you look at it, is that I can't even have kids," I told her. She looked at me with a mixture of shock and sympathy, so I explained, "I'm frozen at my age, much like you guys are. As soon as I stopped aging, my ability to conceive vanished. There might have been a chance if I'd given in a little sooner, but by the time I overheard them, it was already too late. It's alright though. Kids were never really something I wanted. Maybe on some level I always knew it wasn't in the cards for me."

"Still, Bella," she said. I just shrugged. What was I supposed to say? I wasn't lying about never having wanted children, but something about the removal of the option still made me sad. I didn't like to spend a lot of time dwelling on it. I guessed, though, that if anyone would know how I felt about it, it'd be a female vampire.

"Really, Char, it's fine," I assured her, and then addressed the two men in the room. "I think that about brings us up to present. Do you guys have more questions, or can I hop off the grill for now?"

"I think we're good for now, Bella," Peter said. "Let's lighten things up a bit and have some fun. Jasper, did you write down Emmett's address?"

"Yes," he answered cautiously. "Why?"

"Because I wanna send him a glitter bomb."

"Rose will kill you," he warned.

"No she won't. Just shove him in the sun, she won't even notice. Bella, can I use your laptop?"

"I'm not getting involved in this, Peter Pan. Where's your sound system?" I asked. Peter had a point. Things had been heavy all day. I needed to blow off some steam. I needed some music.

Char showed me how it worked and I was thrilled to be able to connect my laptop to it. Once it was all set up, I turned the music on loud, downed my drink, and pulled Char up to dance with me.


	12. Chapter 12

**JPOV**

I thought about everything Bella had said as I watched her dance with Charlotte. There was an immediate difference in her mood, I noticed. It was almost like she took on the emotions the songs were trying to convey for herself. She seemed to be in her element; she knew all the words and sang along passionately, serenading Charlotte, who was laughing and trying to keep up.

"She's had some serious shit luck with men," Peter observed quietly from next to me. I glanced at him - he was watching them just as intently as I had been.

"Yeah, she has."

"You've had some serious shit luck with women," he continued. Thank you, Captain Obvious. I was well aware.

"What's your point, Peter?"

"You haven't figured it out yet, have you?"

"Figured what out? Can we not do the cryptic bullshit tonight? Don't you think there are enough mysteries in our lives to be solved at the moment?"

"Well excuse me, asshole. I thought by the way you've been looking at her I wouldn't need to spell this shit out." I stayed silent. I had an idea, but I hadn't had much time to give it thought yet.

He was watching me expectantly, but I wasn't giving an inch. Finally he must have figured it out, because he blew a breath out his nose and said, "Just don't fuck it up," before going to join them.

I slipped out the back door to find a seat on the porch with my drink and mulled it all over. Don't fuck what up? There was nothing _to_ fuck up. I liked her, yes. But did I feel strongly enough to do anything about it? Was I even willing to put myself in that position again? To let a woman in? My experience really only included Maria, and then Alice. They'd both wanted control, and they'd used me to get it. They'd dictated everything about who I was and molded me into who they wanted me to be. They'd utterly destroyed me.

Did I even know who I was outside of them? There was Maria's Major - the war machine, the ruthless, merciless sonofabitch whose name still struck fear into the dead hearts of most of vampire kind. He even scared me, and he _was_ me. Then, there was Alice's Jasper Cullen Hale, reformed monster, attempted vegetarian, doting husband who could somehow never quite managed to get it right, problem child and black sheep of the world's most perfect immortal family. I really wasn't too fond of him, either.

Now, without either of them, I was Jasper Whitlock, but who was he, really? The previous two iterations of my personality seemed light years away from one another, and neither really appealed much to me. I'd spent the last four years playing third wheel to Peter and Charlotte, and just drifting. I hadn't really bothered to figure much of anything out aside from my eating habits and preference of clothing. Even that wasn't without its dose of shame, though. Decades of indiscriminate murder, followed by decades of denial had left me unable to balance the monster and the man inside me in a way that made me feel comfortable in my own skin. Was that what Bella meant when she told me to accept myself? How could she see that? She'd been right, if so. If I couldn't figure out a way, it would be a long existence.

She seemed to be content to just let me be, and I couldn't deny that the peace her acceptance brought was something I felt drawn to. Everything about her seemed to draw me, if I was being honest with myself. She'd seen all my scars except the physical, and never batted an eye about it. She wasn't afraid to put me in my place or confront me if the need arose. So far, she hadn't demanded anything of me that I was really uncomfortable with, but it had only been a couple of days. Still, in those short days she'd managed to heal wounds I hadn't even been aware existed. And she was beautiful and full of life; not in the superficial way Alice had been, but in a real and grounded way that I found I admired and respected greatly.

I guessed I couldn't deny that I wanted her, but I still didn't know what, if anything, to do about it. Peter was right; she'd had horrible luck with men. One left her and lied to her; one left her for reasons beyond either of their control, and the last, it sounded like, had never even wanted her to begin with. Actually, none of them had wanted her for herself. Edward had wanted her blood, her silence, and her humanity; Jacob had wanted to succeed where Edward had failed and his tribe had wanted her power; and Thad had just wanted her bloodline. Her romantic history read off like a shorter, if no less tragic, version of my own.

Why did I want her, then? To heal me? To give me a direction, make me feel better about myself? The thought disgusted me. I wasn't her responsibility to fix! I was far too old to be thinking along those lines. Maybe it was all down to nothing, anyway. She did say that fae were like magnets for other supernaturals. Perhaps that was the reason for my feelings. Either way, it was high time I took the reigns of my own life and started to figure my own shit out. Maybe while I did that, I'd figure out this thing with Bella.

As I came to my conclusions, I heard the door open behind me.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself, J?" Bella asked.

"Just thinkin'," I answered.

"Well, stop that!" she laughed. "Come inside and party a bit. When's the last time you had a good drunk?"

"A long time," I conceded. Before she was born, actually.

"Come on then," she smiled and held out her hand. I took it and followed her back inside.

Several hours, bottles of whiskey, and packs of cigarettes later, the sun was starting to peek through the windows and the four of us were sprawled across the couches watching a movie. Somehow I'd ended up on the couch with Bella, who was lying with her head in my lap while I absentmindedly ran my fingers through her hair. She wasn't asleep, but she was dozing and I was projecting her feelings of peace and lethargy. Vampires didn't get hangovers, and we could not sleep, but sometimes we could get pretty close. Well, I could, with the right emotions in the room. Being an empath definitely had its perks.

The past few hours had actually been the most fun I'd had in a very long time. There was a lot of laughing, joking, singing and dancing. At some point we'd sat down to play a card game I didn't know we'd owned, which was as hilarious as it was completely inappropriate for any situation. Bella had filled us in on some of the terminology and pop-culture references we didn't understand, but she'd also decided we needed an 'education'. She had pulled out her laptop and made a list of everything we didn't get, insisting it was important for her to set up her 'curriculum'. It was during this that she finally agreed to let Peter use her laptop to send Emmett a 'present'. They'd both been laughing hysterically, but refused to tell Char and I what they'd actually sent him.

As the credits rolled on the screen, Charlotte got up and started moving around, asking "What are we doing today?" as she went to tinker with something in the kitchen.

Bella groaned and didn't move. "Do we have to do anything?"

Peter chuckled, "A little hung over, are we?"

She smiled and started to stretch. "No, I don't really get hangovers. It's just been forever since I had an opportunity to do nothing for a day."

Char came back with a large mug of coffee and placed it in front of Bella and I on the table. "Then do nothing," she said. "I have to go into town and get some things we neglected to pick up on the way here. Is there anything you need?"

Bella rattled off a short list of food and drink she preferred, and picked some movies from her list. Apparently she'd been serious about that. She went to go take a shower after Charlotte left, dragging Peter along for company. I cleaned up the living room while I waited for her to be finished, running through everything in my mind again.

I was so focused on my thoughts that I didn't hear her come back. She managed to startle me by asking, "What are you thinking so hard about? I thought I told you to stop that."

"Just the past few days. There's been a lot of information thrown at me. I'm trying to sort through it all," I told her. It wasn't the whole truth, but I wasn't about to tell her that I'd actually been dwelling on her and what I wanted her role in my life to be.

"I guess that's true. Anything I can help with?"

"I'm not sure," I hedged.

"Okay," she said. Not impatiently, or sarcastically. Just an acknowledgement that she'd heard me. She busied herself on her laptop while I tried to decide how much to say.

"You were right yesterday, you know."

"About what?" She closed the computer's lid to give me her full attention.

"When you told me I needed to learn to accept myself. You were right. That's what I've been thinking about. Thing is, I don't even think I know who I am," I admitted.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing you have plenty of time to figure it out," she said.

"Would you help me?" I blurted out. Goddammit! Had I no self-control? Hadn't I just decided for myself that I wasn't her responsibility?

"You want me to help you figure out who you are?" she questioned, one eyebrow raised and a skeptical expression on her face.

I wiped my face with both hands while I thought about it. "Not really. It would defeat the point I guess. I know I'm not making a lot of sense. I guess I just feel a little lost," I said. I couldn't believe I was actually saying all this out loud.

She sighed, and I felt her send me compassion and a little regret. "I didn't mean to give you an identity crisis, J. I just meant...you seem to think I should be repulsed by the things you do that are just part of being a vampire. You are one, so there's no point in wasting time wishing you weren't, and there's no reason to apologize for it. It's not like you can be anything else. I'm not sure why you feel like that shouldn't be acceptable, but you're wrong. Yes, there are downsides, but that's true of anything anyone could possibly be. There are good things, too."

I hummed noncommittally, and she continued with a hint of impatience. "You're overthinking it. I don't think you're as lost as you think you are. You should give yourself some credit. You have your own interests, and your own sense of right and wrong. You just have to figure out how it all fits together. Stop being so hard on yourself." And with that, she opened her laptop again and effectively dismissed me. I wasn't offended; at least she hadn't started yelling again.

She had not been harsh or unkind, but she made it clear she was not willing to entertain my pity party. And she was right to do so; after all, she'd been through enough herself and come out the other side. It was clear she had some residual insecurities over it all, which was more than understandable, but she never seemed to dwell on it. When they did show themselves, she seemed to accept our reassurance without argument. She knew they were useless and unproductive feelings, irrational remnants of past hurts inflicted on her.

How was it possible that she was so well-adjusted, and I was such a mess? Her last sentence struck a chord deep within me. She was right, I knew. It was the same as before, when she'd yelled at me for letting Alice win. I was still letting her win. Her and Maria both. The man I was currently, with his face in his hands and his insecurity on his sleeve, unsure of how to act without someone to tell him what to do, was not who I had ever envisioned myself to be. He certainly wasn't who I wanted to be. He was who they had wanted me to be, someone they could mold and shape, a puppet for their conflicting wills. By continually stewing on the damage they had wrought, I was actually perpetuating it, I realized.

Finally, I understood what she had been trying to say. It wasn't that they hadn't hurt her, damaged her, even. It was just that she refused to allow them to continue at it. Could I do the same? I had listened to everyone else's voices for so long, I wasn't sure I even had my own anymore. But I wanted to try. I looked over at Bella, who was watching me with an expectant smirk. _Fuck try_ , I thought. I could do this. I would do this. I sent her a wave of my understanding, gratitude, and resolve, unwilling and unable to verbalize everything flying around in my head just then. Her smirk widened to a satisfied grin, and she winked at me.

I decided right then that I did want her, in whatever capacity I could have her, and succeeding in this was the only way I'd ever begin to be worthy of her.

After that morning, I started to question myself whenever self-doubt snuck in, trying to extricate what I thought and felt from the influence of the years with Maria and Alice. At first, it was difficult, but over the following months I found it got much easier. Their voices in my head were recognizable now as not my own, and therefore became easier to silence. I learned, slowly, to stop expecting to be condemned whenever I made a decision for myself. The small victories, like choosing my own clothes based on what I actually liked, were empowering, but they were also a depressing reminder of how much I'd let happen.

Bella decided she wanted to better herself, and since her radar told her she'd be staying put long enough she enrolled in some online courses. We all helped her with her work when she asked, but as I was the only one who had been through school, it was often me that she came to. She had a US History class that had served to be a great conversation starter between us. We had many long and in-depth discussions about various wars and events. She and Peter ganged up on me during her Civil War segment, arguing that I must be remembering things wrong because the textbook couldn't possibly be false. It had taken an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out that they were fucking with me.

They turned out to be fairly terrifying as a team; One of them would get an idea for a prank, and the other would help them execute it flawlessly. Half the time their radars communicated with each other, acting as a sort of disjointed telepathy, and they used it to their full advantage whenever possible. It was actually really impressive, and the strategist in me thought it would come in handy in a confrontation. Emmett's call a few days after his first one had been just the beginning.

" _What's up, Emmett?" I answered._

" _Hey um, bro?" he asked. He sounded torn between being terrified and suppressing laughter. "Uh, I was just wondering. Did you happen to give our address out to anyone?"_

" _No, why?"_

" _Because we got a package today," he started, and then we heard some scuffling on the other end._

_Peter's head snapped up and found Bella's face, and the two of them shared a wicked grin. Oh, no._

" _Someone sent us 50 laser-cut cardboard_ dicks _! Covered in multicolored glitter!" Rosalie's voice shrieked over the speaker._

_They couldn't contain themselves and started laughing maniacally, holding hands and jumping around._

" _Who is that laughing? Is that Peter?!" she demanded._

" _Yeah," I said dumbly, trying not to laugh. I wasn't afraid of Rosalie, but old habits die hard, I guess._

" _Don't you dare laugh about this, Jasper! This shit is_ everywhere _! It's like they're made to shed!"_

_"They are!" I heard Bella wheeze. Rose seemed not to hear her, because she continued her rant without pause._

_"This damn box has only been here for twenty minutes and I've already found glitter in places glitter should_ never _be!"_

" _Oh, calm down Rose. Just go hang out in the sun, you won't even notice it's there," Peter called. "Might even improve some things, just sayin'."_

_Somewhere in the background Emmett yelled, "Hey, that's what I said!"_

_The garbled, high-pitched noise of frustration we heard in response only made us all laugh harder. Peter and Bella collapsed onto the floor, holding onto each other while Char stood behind them laughing and shaking her head and I was trying to be as quiet as possible to not incense Rose further. It didn't work._

" _You're all assholes!" she screamed, and hung up the phone._

_Char had managed to call back a few hours later with some tips for glitter clean-up, which soothed Rose some. "You guys are evil," she said. "They'll be finding glitter for years to come."_

Bella had been absolutely unrepentant, asserting that it was just a joke, but I was pretty sure she just hadn't forgiven them yet and the prank had been a small revenge in her eyes. She didn't speak to them when they called, which wasn't very often, and she kept putting off the idea of having them visit.

Bella gave Charlotte access to all of her notes and journals, as promised, but Char had been absolutely horrified to find how scattered and unorganized they were. She set to work almost immediately, transcribing everything into a program on a secure computer so it would be searchable, too. They worked together as often as she could tie Bella down, asking questions and recording everything she could. The project was about halfway finished, as far as I could tell.

She also helped Bella with making dust, and they'd attempted some more lights. The shield ones for Emmett and Rose came out okay, but they didn't glow, and I didn't think they'd had any success with new ones for a while, either. Honestly I hadn't been paying all that much attention to it, but I felt both of their frustration after the last few tries.

We'd all settled into an odd sort of routine. Bella had her classes and her sessions with Charlotte, but she also spent time with Peter and I training to fight and strengthen her abilities. She still wouldn't have much of a chance against vampires if she got cornered, but she'd stand a good shot of getting away now. As much as it triggered my instincts to be around, I knew her best chance would be if she could expand upon her little finger-flame.

When I wasn't with Bella, I worked on figuring my shit out. Sometimes that meant something as simple as shopping for myself, but it also meant pursuing a lot of hobbies I'd always wanted to try and never been allowed to. Thanks to vampire recall and fine motor control, I'd become a pretty good guitar player, whittler, woodworker, and furniture maker. All interesting to learn, but I doubted I'd continue with them once I'd reached mastery. At this point, it was about finishing what I started more than enjoying the pastimes - except maybe for the guitar. I was itching for something else, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it.

A few times a week, Bella corralled us all together for marathons of TV shows or movies from her 'vampire education' list. I didn't mind at all. The movies were usually pretty good, but during those times she always sat right next to me on the couch, curled into my side. Having her there felt right and it gave me a sense of peace, almost as if when she was not there something was missing. Sometimes, I hesitated putting my arm around her, just to see her look at me expectantly as if to say, "Well?" It made me feel wanted, and even if I had to manipulate the reaction out of her, it gave me hope.

I wasn't ready to let her know how I felt yet. I didn't know if I ever could, but it was getting harder and harder to hide. Since the day I'd admitted to myself that I wanted her, my feelings had grown. Actually, who the fuck was I kidding? I was in love with her. I may have been since the fucking trip down here. I just didn't know what to do about it. It wasn't like I could just walk up and toss her over my shoulder on my way to the bedroom. Somehow, I didn't think she'd receive that very well. If I was being honest with myself, it wasn't how I wanted to go about things, either, but it was a nice fantasy. Every time I talked to her, or interacted with her, it was all I could do to avoid touching her too much, too obviously, or staring at her like a total idiot. Her lips had become a point of fixation.

I couldn't even try to ignore it as a purely physical thing. I respected and admired her. She was fun to be around, spontaneous and unpredictable; never boring. She had a sort of strength and confidence around her that I sometimes drew from when I felt low. Her voice had taken up residence in my mind, but not the ways the others had - hers was there to back up my own. Whenever I started to listen to one of those old voices, hers would be screaming, "So the fuck what! Who cares what they think?" These days, her voice was the one I listened to the most.

And Peter, that almighty fucking know-it-all, knew it before I did. He'd never brought it up directly again, but he was getting damn good at sending me significant looks when Bella wasn't paying attention. I was out of my depth, being unable to feel what she didn't want me to. I couldn't tell if she did return my feelings and just buried them, or they didn't exist.

I studied her from across the room, sitting at the table with Charlotte going over another journal entry. I wanted her so badly in that moment, it was all I could do to stay in my seat. Just then, as if he could sense my frustration, Peter walked by me jingling his keys. "Gotta run to town. Feel like taking a ride?"

I got in the truck, but stayed silent until we were a mile or so away.

"What do you know?" I demanded. He obviously had a motive for bringing me out here, away from the girls to talk.

"Don't tell me you haven't figured it out yet. I knew you were a little broken, but I wasn't aware that applied to your brain function, too." he laughed. I didn't appreciate it.

"What the fuck is there to figure out?" I growled. "I want her. There's no indication she wants me back. The end." As I spoke, I realized how frustrated I was with the situation. I'd been so focused on becoming better for her, I didn't deal with the anger. Oh well. If anyone could take it, it was Peter.

"You're fucking blind, then."

"Enlighten me, then, Oh Wise One."

"Cut the shit, Major. I'm trying to help your ass here. If you'd rather keep flying blind, be my fucking guest. Otherwise, shut the fuck up."

I did. I had no choice. Peter never talked to me that way, so he must have a good reason now. He looked sideways at me for confirmation of something, then nodded to himself.

"Look, you and Bella both are near and dear to my heart. That's why I told you not to fuck it up. Let me reiterate that point, Jasper. Do not fuck it up. There won't be another chance for either of you, if you do," he said seriously.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, she's your goddamn mate, you dumb prick! What I don't get is how neither one of you have figured it out yet."

"That's not possible, Peter. I'd have known. Mating is instant. You know that." It's what I'd been telling myself for weeks, now, as an excuse to not pursue Bella. If I couldn't offer her a guarantee, I wouldn't put her in that position. She didn't deserve to be left over supernatural bullshit again. I was close to breaking anyway, but nobody really needed to know that.

"I know it's instant between vampires. Which Bella isn't, yet."

"What the fuck do you mean, 'yet'? We can't change her, we don't know what will happen to her!"

"I mean yet, as in it hasn't happened yet, but it will. She knows, too - didn't you hear her when she talked about it? She said _when_ she gets bitten, not if. It's an inevitability. One you'd best get past quickly, because that isn't the point of this conversation."

"Then what _is_ the point, Peter?"

"The point is exactly what I said. You are her mate. I was waiting around for you two to get it, I hoped maybe her radar would tell her even. You obviously wanted to be better before you took a chance with her, but we don't have that luxury anymore. You need to shit or get off the pot, or we're going to lose her."

"What the fuck, Peter?! What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information? Storm back to the house and fucking _claim her_?"

"No, dickhead! You don't need to claim her. You do need to confess how you feel about her, and get her to do the same. That's all I know. I'm sorry."

I glared at him, but said nothing. Peter's radar never lied, but I almost didn't dare hope. It would be devastating to me if he happened to be wrong this time. It didn't escape me that he hadn't actually said his radar was how he knew this.

"You're certain about this?"

"I wouldn't have told you if I wasn't." He tapped his head, the signal I was waiting for. Almost as if he read my mind. That gesture changed everything.

"Then turn around. I need to go get my woman."


	13. Chapter 13

**BPOV**

I turned around just in time to see him walk out the door with Peter and sighed a little.

"You could just tell him, you know," Char said.

"We've been over this, Char, it's a bad idea. For both of us."

"So you keep sayin', sugar, but it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit excuses to me," she shrugged.

"Tell you what, I'll tell J if you tell me what your gift is," I offered. It wasn't fair, but I knew it'd get her off my back.

"I'm not gifted. I don't know why you keep insistin' I am."

"So you keep saying, but it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit excuses to me," I repeated back at her.

It was an impasse we'd come to often over the past couple of months. I was convinced Charlotte was gifted. She still hadn't had any more human memories, but her seemingly instinctual knowledge of lights and dust told me she must be fae. Beyond that, gifted vampires only ever mated with other gifted vampires - a fact that she had come across in my notes and refused to believe. I knew it was true, though. Peter was definitely gifted, and they were definitely mates, so Charlotte had to have a gift. I couldn't understand her stubborn refusal to acknowledge it, though.

"Alright, fine!" she huffed, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed. This, I was not expecting. I raised an eyebrow at her and waited.

"I'm willin' to admit there's probably somethin', but I still don't know what it is. I've been on this earth for over a hundred years and haven't had anythin' happen yet, so I can't even begin to imagine what could possibly be so subtle," she said.

"Well, now that you're willing to admit there is one, it'll be a lot easier to try and narrow it down," I told her, unable to keep a hint of smugness out of my voice.

"I'm not opposed to tryin', after you tell Jasper," she said. Damnit.

"Char…" I whined.

"Don't, Bella. That's my condition. I don't know why you're so intent on denying yourself, but this is getting ridiculous."

"Because, Charlotte. Vampires don't mate with humans. Why make it worse for both of us when he finds his?"

That was my excuse - at least, the one hardest for her to argue with. I was scared, though. The previous three times I'd fallen in love had not worked out well for me at all and I had no guarantee this time would be any different. I hadn't thought it possible for me to be this monumentally stupid for a fourth time, but I was. Actually, I was far more stupid than I'd ever been before. Edward had been a first love comprised mostly of infatuation - on both ends; Jacob had been a best friend relationship that we'd both tried to force to be something more; and finally, Thad had been a teacher and another layer of connection to a tenuous family link, as well as someone I thought had just wanted me, for me. Disasters, all three.

With J, it was even worse, because there was no pressure or reason to have to try and love him, and he wasn't even pursuing me, but I loved him anyway. I loved him for everything he was and everything he was trying to be. I may have nudged him along at first, because it was so damn hard to watch someone be in the same state I had been and be unable to help them, but it was something he needed to do himself. Once he got it, though, I watched him throw himself into becoming someone _he_ wanted to be, and it was inspiring.

Over the past few months he had thrown out all his old clothes and furniture, starting out entirely new. He'd picked up several new hobbies, and I appreciated the way he never half-assed anything, even when it was clear he'd already lost interest. He indulged my insistence on their pop-culture 'education', but he had no problem telling me when he just didn't get it, or didn't like it. It was a far cry from the version of him who'd seemed to have almost no opinions of his own. In fact, he'd almost completely transformed; where before he had often seemed distant and closed off, he now laughed easily and had even joined in a couple of Peter and I's pranks.

He was also beautiful in a way that transcended even vampire standards. During training sessions, I often found myself distracted watching him. When he fought, he moved with a deadly grace that was enthralling, only enhanced by his lethal speed and precision. He was completely confident during those times, and never faltered. I'd only witnessed Peter win when Jasper let him. I'd studied him closely enough over the past months to realize that his fighting prowess permeated his every move, no matter how relaxed he seemed. Some people would have found intimidating, I thought. I just found it made him impossibly more attractive.

"What if he never does?" she countered. "Not all vampires find mates, you know. Some wait centuries, millennia even. You could have hundreds of years of happiness without being mates. And you aren't human. You don't know what possibilities might be there for you."

That wasn't an argument I even wanted to entertain. It had to potential to give me hope, and hope was dangerous.

"You're assuming he even feels the same," I said, ignoring what she was trying to imply.

She looked at me like I'd just said the stupidest thing in the world. "You cannot be serious."

"The fuck I'm not, Char. Half the time I have to give him a look to get him to put his arm around me when we watch movies."

"He doesn't seem to take issue with you sitting practically on his lap, though," she pointed out.

"That's because I never give him the option to refuse me."

"You're being willfully blind, Bella."

"Maybe, Charlotte, but it's better than giving myself false hope for something that can never be."

"Well, I think you're wrong about that."

"I guess I'll find out. I want to know what your gift is badly enough that I'm willing to sacrifice my emotional well-being to find out," I said.

"Oh, spare me the melodrama," she laughed. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"Speaking of gifts, have you found any mention of a mental shield anywhere yet?" I asked, looking back at the notes scattered on the table in front of us and ignoring her final comment on the matter. Hopefully she'd let the subject drop.

"Not yet, but there's a long way to go still," she answered.

She was right. I was not a particularly orderly person, and my notes were no exception. The journals were not much better, since they'd been written as personal journals rather than magical ones. Charlotte had been brilliant in her endeavor to organize the information. I had just hoped having it all laid out more clearly would help us with the roadblocks we were running into with the lights, but Charlotte was finding information left and right that I had missed. One of them was that there was not yet any mention of a mental shield ability. It was odd, but it was also the type of gift that a person could go their whole life and not notice they had. I was sure she'd find it buried somewhere. I could have sworn I'd seen something about it at some point. It really was a shame I lacked vampires' super-memory.

Char went back to working on the journal project, and I tried to work on a paper for school. I was too distracted by what I'd just agreed to to focus on it. Did I even have it in me to make myself that vulnerable again? I guessed I didn't have much of a choice; my radar had been insistent that Charlotte's gift was important, and I couldn't ignore that. If telling Jasper how I felt and embarrassing myself was what I needed to do to figure that out, then that's what I'd have to do. Maybe after he shot me down I'd be able to start to get over it.

After an hour of my fidgeting, shifting, sighing, and tapping my fingers and toes, Charlotte was fed up. She slapped a hand on the table. "Out!"

"The hell?"

"All your movement is driving me nuts. If you want to wallow and worry, go do it somewhere else," she ordered. I knew she was serious and it was best to just not argue with her, so I neatened my pile of books and retreated to the back of the house to the suite Jasper and I shared. It had been a better solution than building an addition - I only needed a few hours of sleep every three or four days and usually just passed out in the living room during a movie. Really, the room was just a space to allow us some privacy without having to be outside. We rarely used it at the same time.

I went straight for the middle desk drawer, smiling when I found a small thumb drive tucked among the pens in the tray. I plugged it into the laptop Jasper had left on the desk, clicked a few times, and went to lay on the bed to listen to whatever it was Jasper had decided he liked right now. This little routine of ours had begun when it became clear that I had no idea how to 'teach' Jasper about new music like I'd promised him on our trip down here. After a few failed attempts, we'd come up with the idea to leave a playlist of our current favorite songs on the thumb drive, making sure it changed at least once every week. At first he just listened to my playlists and looked for things similar to what he liked, but now we were both discovering new music for each other all the time. I didn't know why we kept the thumb drive hidden and only listened to each other's playlists alone in this room, but it felt right to keep it that way. It was like having a piece of him all to myself, and I wasn't about to start sharing.

I settled into my usual spot smack in the middle of the bed, with the pillow Jasper usually rested against hugged to my chest so I could breathe it in. It was part childish, part creepy, but I didn't care. It's not like I got the opportunity to sniff him very often - I definitely couldn't do it during movie nights - and the man smelled amazing. I couldn't pick out and separate scents like a vampire could, but it reminded me of an incense Renee used to buy from time to time, just without the heavy smokiness: clean, earthy, and just slightly spicy. Enough to be a little exotic, but not so much that it prickled my nose. I was unable to get enough, and, as was usual for me by now, I buried my face in the pillow while I listened.

I was mildly surprised and confused at his selection this week. There were a few songs taken directly from my own list; we both did that, our way of letting the other know which songs we'd liked the most without having to really discuss it. Music was like a private language to me, and I could not always verbalize what some songs stirred in me - Jasper understood this almost immediately, and seemed to feel the same. The rest of it seemed to be almost laser focused on songs about lost or unrequited love, most of them of the heartbreaking variety. I was glad he hadn't reverted back to country for this particular mood, but it still disturbed me a little bit. He'd come so far lately. I hoped whoever he was thinking about when he chose these songs, it wasn't Alice. I prodded and clawed at the space in my brain where my radar resided, but it remained silent. It hadn't told me a single thing about Jasper since he'd announced that my blood didn't appeal to him as food.

When the last song ended, I got up and made my way to the computer to complete the routine. I restarted his playlist and listened to each song again, while I spent some time looking up lyrics, other songs by certain artists I liked, or just what happened to come to mind for me. I tried to include some hopeful songs for him.

When I finished, I put the drive back where I found it and wandered back out to the main living area to see if Charlotte was willing to tolerate my presence again yet. I'd given her a good few hours. I stopped in the kitchen to grab myself a soda on the way, and was busy fiddling with the tab trying to open it when I approached the table. I'd expected Char to still be there and open this infernal can for me but when I finally looked up, I found the table cleared and her seat empty. Looking around, I found Jasper sitting on the couch with his guitar next to him and an expression on his face that I didn't recognize.

"Where'd Char go?"

"She and Peter went for a hunt."

"Oh. I didn't hear them leave. Or you come back."

He didn't answer, but I hadn't really expected him to. I felt awkward in this moment, suddenly uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with him. I'd hoped for and dreaded time alone with him like this for weeks, and now that I had it I had Charlotte's stupid deal hanging over my head. She wouldn't accept me chickening out on it, either. If I didn't take this opportunity, she'd shut down about her gift and probably not give me another chance.

"Were you practicing?" I tried again. Anything to break the silence. Stalling was kindof futile, but I wasn't above it. Maybe if I got him talking he'd give me an opening, and I could just kindof blurt it out and he wouldn't notice. Yeah, right.

"No, actually. I was waiting for you."

"Oh," I said, a little surprised. "Why didn't you just come get me? What's up?"

He took a deep breath that I knew he didn't need, and looked at me, holding eye contact. That weird expression was back on his face, and it felt like he was trying to tell me something. I didn't understand, and he was making me nervous.

"J?"

He breathed out, finally, and shook his head a little, closing his eyes. He was still for a moment that although brief, felt very long to me. His behavior was perplexing, and I didn't know how to react. Finally, his eyes opened again, and he wore a small smile on his face.

"Could you sit, Bella? I have something I've been working on that I want to show you."

"Sure," I answered, moving to sit in the chair across from him, but he stopped me, patting the couch next to him.

"Sit here, please."

"What is all this about, Jasper? You're kinda freaking me out a little."

"Just sit, Bella, please? We can talk about it when I'm done, I promise." I sat in the spot he'd indicated and he picked up his guitar, moving it and himself into place so he could face me when he played. "One more thing," he said.

"Hmm?"

"I need you to let me in. I know you've been blocking me, and if you want to keep yourself closed off still, that's fine. But you need to be able to feel what I send you. Can you do that?"

It was an odd request, but I didn't see the harm in it. I did as he asked. "Okay."

He breathed in deeply again, through his nose this time, and let it out his mouth. I recognized the action as a means to calm his nerves, and raised an eyebrow at him. He just repeated the action, whispering, "Okay…" to himself. Then, he winked at me and started to play.

I recognized the song from the first chords. It was one that had been on my playlists for him several times. I knew it was a risky move, but there was something about this song that had always resonated in me deeply. This was the one love song I'd never allowed myself to associate with anyone, because I couldn't bear to have it tainted when things inevitably ended. What was he trying to pull? He knew what this song meant to me. When I frowned, he sent me some reassurance, patience, curiosity. He was asking me to let him get through this, promising he wouldn't fuck it up for me. I hesitated, and he sent me a stronger dose. He needed to do this; I needed to let him. It was his way of begging. I closed my eyes and nodded my assent, and then I heard him start to sing.

_There's something about the look in your eyes  
_ _Something I noticed when the light was just right  
_ _It reminded me twice that I was alive  
_ _And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight_

_My biggest fear will be the rescue of me  
_ _Strange how it turns out that way, yeah_

It wasn't until he reached the end of the first verse that it registered why he'd needed me to give him access. He was sending flows of emotion out with each word he sang. He was showing me exactly what this song made him feel. My eyes snapped to his, and his lips curled into a smile around the words they were forming.

_Could you show me, dear?  
_ _Something I've not seen  
_ _Something infinitely interesting_

_Could you show me, dear?  
_ _Something I've not seen  
_ _Something infinitely interesting_

There was a burst of emotions let out when he sang the lyrics with the question. It was so complex I couldn't pick it all out, but it made my chest ache with longing. He was asking, but not if I _could_ \- he knew that already. He wanted to know if I _would_.

_There's something about the way you move  
_ _I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing  
_ _More subtle than something someone contrives  
_ _Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing._

_Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you  
_ _Strange how it turns out that way, yeah_

Something was shifting in me as I let myself focus on his performance, things were falling away and rearranging inside me and I was so overwhelmed by it that I almost missed the end of the song. The part that held his questions, the ones I so desperately wanted to hear and feel again.

_Could you show me, dear?  
_ _Something I've not seen  
_ _Something infinitely interesting_

_Could you show me, dear?  
_ _Something I've not seen  
_ _Something infinitely interesting_

He finished the song, and the room was suddenly too quiet. I was still reeling, but I focused on him. He was the only thing I _could_ focus on. I must have been silent for a while, because he finally asked, "Bella? Are you okay?"

Was I?

"I- I don't know. I just… I wasn't prepared for that," I stuttered out. I tried to mimic his breathing from a few minutes earlier, to steady myself, but it wasn't working. I needed something else. It was... "Can you play it again, J? I need - " I couldn't finish. I didn't know why I needed it. I just knew I did.

He obliged, and this time I paid as much attention as I could. Every inflection of his voice, every movement of his mouth, each subtle wave of emotion, the way the expressions his face made matched everything and how he never took his eyes off mine. This time, everything that had come undone in me seemed to click back into place, but I was different from before.

By the time he asked the questions in the last lines of the song, I recognized what it was that had changed. The doubt and fear I had felt, and all my reasons for hiding the way I felt for him here gone, vanished as if they had never been there in the first place. In their place, there was something new: absolute certainty. He was mine, and I was his, and that was all there was to it. I marvelled at how I could have ever thought otherwise, because now it was simple, irrefutable fact. The sky is blue. Rocks are hard. Water is wet. Jasper and I belong to each other.

A fleeting whisper somewhere in the back of my brain told me that this sounded not unlike what Jacob had described imprinting to be. Not unlike it, but still distinctly different. I was still the center my own little solar system, but now it had a binary star.

When he was finished he set his guitar down next to him, looking nervous. I needed to say something before he apologized for this.

"Don't," I said.

"Bella, I.." he started, and I didn't know what he had been about to say, but it was obvious from his tone that he had no idea how much everything had just changed.

"Ten seconds. You can talk in ten seconds," I interrupted. We could talk around this forever, but I didn't want to waste any more time. The fastest way was to just show him; to speak to his soul the way he'd just done to mine. I lifted my shield and consciously pushed my feelings at him.

I watched his face carefully as they hit him. He registered shock at first, but then the biggest, most beautiful smile I'd ever seen spread across his face. I couldn't help but mirror it, and we stared at each other for a few more seconds. I realized he'd been counting down the ten seconds I'd demanded when he spoke, "When...How..?"

"Do you really want to talk about all that right now?" I asked him seriously, arching a brow. I didn't know how to explain what exactly had happened. Even if I did, the last thing I wanted in this moment was to sit around having a conversation trying to dissect whatever it was. It didn't matter right now. All that did matter was that it had happened.

"Not at all," he confessed, to my relief.

He moved toward me, but he wasn't fast enough. What the hell good was vampire speed if you didn't use it when it mattered? I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his, staring at him. "Then what the hell are you waiting for?"

He made a noise, something between a sigh and a gasp, and then he tilted his head slightly, and his lips captured mine. I had never let myself even dare imagine what it might be like before this, but whatever my mind would have dreamed up, it wouldn't have come close to _this_. His lips were warm, softer than I would have thought, and he tasted almost exactly how he smelled but with just the slightest hint of sweetness. He was gentle at first, but I returned it with force and he responded in kind. Our hands moved over each other, resting on shoulders and in hair and on faces, I really didn't notice whose were where, and I didn't care. At some point it registered to me that he was projecting all our feelings, his and mine, and they were bleeding into me where our lips met and everywhere else his skin touched mine. It was everything, it was too much and it wasn't enough, and I figured this would be a really good way to spend forever.

When we finally broke apart sometime later, I groaned a little at the loss. Jasper chuckled softly and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side. As he laced the fingers of his free hand through mine, he gave me another brief kiss. "I almost can't believe I can just do that now."

"Well, what did you expect to happen after your little performance?" I joked.

"Truthfully, I had no idea what to expect. I thought you might get pissed at me for using your song, but I couldn't think of any other way to tell you. I thought even if your reaction was positive, you'd take a little more convincing," he admitted.

It was absurd now, but when I thought about it I could see why he would have thought so. Without...whatever had happened, he probably would have been right. I told him as much, and when he asked, I told him the truth as I knew it: that it felt like imprinting had been described to me, but different.

"Peter was right," he said quietly.

"Peter? He knew?" I didn't see how that was possible, unless his radar had told him something and he'd kept it from me. The little shit! I'd make him pay if that was the case.

Jasper nodded and told me about their conversation in the truck. "I think I already knew it on some level," he told me, "but I couldn't approach you without a guarantee, Bella. You've been put through enough by supernatural beings, and I didn't want to risk it with you. I'd never heard of a vampire finding a mate in a human, and I didn't want to ask you to take that kind of risk again. I was close, anyway though. It was becoming unbearable, how badly I wanted you."

"But I'm not human, J," I reminded him. "I get it, though. It's why I kept my feelings shielded from you - which was hard, by the way. I guess it all would have worked out one way or another, though. Charlotte made me promise to tell you, earlier. She held her gift hostage. I bet the pair of them planned this all out," I thought out loud, the gears in my head turning.

He laughed and dropped another quick kiss to my lips. "I can't say I'm too upset with them for it."

"Well I am," I huffed. "I've been whining to Charlotte about this for _weeks_. My radar wouldn't tell me anything about you at all. I know she told Peter about it. If he knew we were mates, he could have just fucking told me," I grumbled.

"Maybe," he agreed, "But sometimes things need to happen a certain way."

"Maybe," I allowed. "I guess you wouldn't have had a reason to sing to me like that, if I'd known already."

"You liked it?"

"You couldn't tell?"

"Well, you haven't exactly said either way,"

"I would think it was obvious," I challenged. "Look at you, fishing for compliments!"

He just shrugged and smiled, and that was all it took for my irritation to melt. "It was perfect, Jasper. If there was ever going to be a man to sing me that song, I'm glad it was you, and I'm glad it was exactly the way it was. I just hope you like it as much as I do, because I'm going to be making you sing it for a very long time."

"I'll sing for you anytime you want, Bella," he promised.


	14. Chapter 14

**JPOV**

I was so fucking glad I'd listened to Peter as I watched Bella doze lightly in my arms. We were lying down, now stretched across the couch on our sides facing each other. With my free hand I gently ran my fingers through her hair as I replayed the day in my mind. I still couldn't quite believe everything had happened like it did.

After I'd told Peter to turn the truck around, he'd proceeded to lay into me for even thinking of going into something as important as this half-cocked. He insisted I needed a better plan than rushing in and spilling my guts - that if I did that, she'd bolt. After some thought, I realized that if music couldn't get through to Bella, nothing could. And I knew the perfect song. It was risky, and she might decide try and kill me, but it felt right anyway.

I still didn't quite understand what had happened. I sang, and poured out everything I felt while I did so. One minute she'd been closed off, overwhelmed and seemed upset, and I thought I'd made a bad mistake. But then she was glowing brightly and flooding me with pure love, devotion, adoration, respect, trust, and certainty stronger than I'd ever felt come from one person alone. Something settled in me then too, something I hadn't even realized had been out of place. Later, when she explained what it had felt like, I had to agree.

This wasn't what I knew mating to be, and it was making me rethink what I thought I'd known about the subject. The widely accepted facts were that mating was instinctual, and instant. Mostly the way to tell if a vampire was mated was by whether they smelled of another and whether they'd been marked. Some couples, rarely, experienced a pull. Mates were most times considered forever couples, one usually losing their minds with grief and rage when the other died. Occasionally one would reject the bond; rarely a vampire might leave his or her mate. Nobody really understood how this could happen, or why. Being mated meant soul-mates - it should be impossible to reject, right?

I turned the facts over and over again in my mind, dissecting them and trying to make sense of the differences while I watched Bella. She glowed softly, even as close to unconsciousness as she was. She'd left her shield down for me, and I felt her peace and contentment overlaying a strong current of love - the love she felt for me, which perfectly matched and complimented what I felt for her. It was quieter, less violent than what conventional knowledge told me it should be, but no less strong and undeniably absolute. Her description had fit perfectly; we were a binary star, each tethered by the other's gravity and orbiting each other in perfect sync. I didn't feel a pull, but there was a palpable connection between us now. I wondered what would happen to it when we needed to separate physically. I scowled a little at the idea of not touching her.

There was no feral urge in me to claim or mark her; those things were meant to prove ownership to others. I did not own Bella, and she didn't own me, but we did belong to each other. It wasn't that I didn't want her - I definitely did - it was just that I had nothing aside from that desire pushing me to do it _right now_. It occurred to me that typical traits of mated couples - possessiveness and jealousy - were traits possessed by the insecure in humans. I knew first hand that mating could be faked, a fact I had learned embarrassingly late considering my empathy. Most vampires were so instinctual that it wasn't far-fetched to think a strong attraction to someone could be mistaken for a mate bond pretty easily. Claiming and marking were probably both symptoms of that - if your mate was false, it made sense to try and deter anyone that might steal them. If so, a lot of vampires were spending forever with the wrong people.

What I felt now was something I'd only felt twice in other couples. In both cases, I'd written it off as a quirk. Maybe they were just really secure people, or perhaps they'd been together through enough that their bond wasn't something they questioned. Peter and Charlotte were one such pair. They were also a gifted pair, so Bella said, which meant they both had fae blood. I wondered if that had anything to do with it. It was an interesting speculation.

I heard Peter's truck turn down the street. _Think of the devil and he shall appear_. I was loathe to move, but I knew it'd be required. They'd want to make a few comments, if nothing else. I nudged Bella, "They're home."

She groaned and mumbled against my chest, "Those dicks."

"You have time to move if you want to," I told her. I really, really fucking hoped she wouldn't.

"No, fuck them. I'm comfortable," she said. It was slightly muffled; her face was buried in my shirt.

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "No argument here."

I heard the door open, but chose to ignore it. I didn't want to move or speak to anyone but Bella. I wanted to stay right here in this perfect little bubble for as long as it was possible to do so.

To his credit, Peter waited a whole five seconds before ruining it. "Fucking finally!"

"Fuck you," Bella said, not moving. "Go away. We're busy."

"Not as busy as you should be. Why are you even out here and not in the bedroom?"

Her arm moved from my waist and I felt her groping around for something behind me. She grabbed a pillow and dropped it on my leg before putting her arm right back where it was. I understood exactly how she felt, so I obliged her unspoken request, grabbing the pillow and whipping it at Peter at vampire speed.

Not only did it connect; it exploded against his face, leaving his hair and shoulders covered in cotton fluff while he stood there looking shocked. I laughed, and Bella finally moved just enough to turn her head before she started laughing with me. It was then that I noticed Charlotte wasn't with him.

"I see how this is going to be," he griped. "Look, I know how it is, but we gotta talk. I wouldn't have come home so early otherwise."

Bella looked up at me, and we both shrugged and sighed before finally moving. I was a bit disappointed that her glow dimmed when she stood, but when I pulled her back into my lap I noticed it was still there, just less bright.

That I could make her glow made me so fucking happy.

She apparently was unwilling to move any more than she had to, because she used her weird floaty telekinesis to bring our cigarettes and an ashtray to us. When she was settled and comfortable, she said, "Fine, Peter, what?"

Her extreme irritation at being interrupted, even though we weren't actually doing anything at all, also made me really fucking happy.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Bella. I do live here too, you know. It's not as if you two were exactly being private or anything."

She just sighed. "This is new for us and you burst my happy place bubble before I was ready to leave it. I'm annoyed. You said you needed to talk, so - talk." I felt a tinge of regret out of her for being bitchy with him, but she wasn't apologizing for it.

"I know that, Bella, and I get it, believe me. But this is too important to wait," he said apologetically.

"What is it, Peter?"

"Something's coming, and it has to do with Alice. I already sent for Em and Rose, I mailed their lights out overnight yesterday with instructions to come immediately. They should be here in about an hour. Char went to go pick them up."

I growled. That fucking bitch just couldn't let me be. "What the fuck? How did she find us? What does she want?"

"You know it doesn't work like that. I'm sorry."

"She wants us apart, J," Bella said.

Peter nodded, his face thoughtful. They were doing that piggybacking radars thing again. "Yeah, and that's why we couldn't give you any more time to try and figure this out on your own. You need to stand together against her."

"But she won't be alone," Bella added.

"No, she won't," he confirmed.

Sometimes, they creeped me out a little when they did this.

Bella's back stiffened, and she spat, "Well the little imp can just fucking bring it. I'm not afraid of her ass."

"Darlin', you're powerful, but she's still a vampire," I started.

"Don't underestimate me, Jasper. I had to survive on the run for several years without knowing for sure what I was running from. I might not have needed those kind of skills for the past few months, but that doesn't mean I don't have them. Plus, I have the light Char and I made in Boston."

I'd forgotten about her little misdirection light. We didn't use it in training sessions so she could learn to defend herself if she got caught out without it, but it would help her a lot. I didn't have a problem protecting her, but if she said she could handle herself, I had to believe her. Bella wasn't stupid - she knew what she was up against.

"Alright," I said. "I trust you, but I am gonna want to see some of these skills," I told her. I was curious what she had up her sleeve.

She sent me her gratitude and kissed me lightly. "No problem. As soon as it's light out."

"Aaaawwwww!" Peter cooed.

I rolled my eyes at him. I'd put up with this shit from him and Charlotte for years. He could just deal with it.

"How long do we have til Little Miss Asshole shows up?" I asked.

"Couple days," Bella answered.

"Cutting it close, Peter," I warned.

He just shrugged. "We really didn't want to interfere."

"Is that all then, or is there more?" I asked.

"That's it."

"How much time til Em and Rose show up?"

"Probably about half an hour, now."

"We'll see you in half an hour, then," I said, picking Bella up and heading toward our suite. She didn't resist at all. I wanted as much time back in that bubble as I could get before more interruptions showed up.

The short time we were given was put to good use, as far as I considered. I'd put her down on the bed and climbed right on next to her, laying down in nearly the same position we'd been in on the couch. The other stuff could wait; for now I really just wanted her close and to myself. Her feelings seemed to reflect mine, so there was no need to talk. We were given a blessed extra fifteen minutes thanks to road construction, but finally I heard a car I didn't recognize pull up to the house, followed by three doors shutting.

"Showtime, darlin'," I told her. I knew she didn't really want to see them, but they were here now, and there was no point in delaying things. It would only make it more awkward. "Do you want to let them know about us right away?" I hoped she wouldn't say no, but I wanted to give her the choice. She deserved to have this reunion as much on her terms as possible.

She got up without a word, but held her hand out for mine immediately. "This isn't something to be hidden, J. At least not from them."

We walked back to the living area with our hands clasped between us.

"Bella!" Emmett called as soon as he saw her, rushing forward to hug her. She held a hand out to stop him.

"Emmett," she greeted simply. I felt his hurt, but hers was more important.

From behind him, I saw Rose's eyes narrow slightly at our hands. "I thought you said you let Alice think you were together, not that you were."

Again Bella took point. "We weren't then. We are now."

"How the hell did _that_ happen?" Emmett asked.

"He asked me to show him something," Bella said suggestively. She smirked and shrugged as she said it, and threw a wink my way. I grinned at her. I loved the way she'd found a way not to lie, while still fucking with Emmett. _This should be good._

"What?!" he demanded, outraged. "Jasper, what the fuck, man?"

"What can I say? I hadn't seen it, seemed interesting," I shrugged and played along. I noticed Peter start shaking behind Rosalie - who had an incredulous expression on her face - trying not to laugh and give it all away.

"Bella? _Bella?!_ " he demanded, staring at me, not looking at her. He was furious with me. I shrugged.

"How could you two let this happen?" he rounded on Peter and Charlotte. I felt a flare of anger from Bella, and she was already shaking a little. _Oh, bad move, Em_.

"Let what happen, Emmett?" she asked, her voice dangerously quiet.

"This! You, and him! He's not good for you, Bella," he looked at me, "Sorry bro."

"I don't think that is for you to decide," she told him.

"You're my little sister! It's my job to protect you," he argued. He just kept digging himself in deeper.

Bella started shaking harder, fully vibrating now, and I noticed her struggling to keep her feet on the ground. It was a losing battle, I knew. She was already glowing. I noticed this glow had a harder edge to it than when she was happy; that glow was soft and welcoming. This was menacing and spoke danger, even to me.

"I'm your sister? I'm your fucking sister, Emmett? Tell me, what kind of _big brother_ ," she spat the words out like they were something that tasted vile, "leaves his little sister to get dumped in the woods by his other brother, like a piece of shit that had stuck to his shoe for too long?"

I sent her confidence and my understanding, though I don't think she needed it, and released her hand, stepping back to watch. She lifted off the ground almost instantly and was advancing on him.

"What kind of big brother leaves his sister without so much as a fuck-you-bye? What fucking brother leaves his sister's family unprotected, only to get murdered by a crazy-ass vampire bitch? What the fuck kind of horrible fucking luck did I have to get stuck with a brother who just accepted I was dead without bothering to check about a funeral or a fucking grave? Because if you had, Emmett, you'd know I was never fucking dead to begin with!"

He opened and closed his mouth a few times as she stared him down expectantly. I don't think he even noticed she was at eye level with him, inches from his face. Fuck me, but she was beautiful when she was angry like this.

As soon as he started to say something, she cut him off like she'd been waiting for it, "And then. You have the _balls_ to come here, to _my_ home, and fucking insult me by telling me my mate is not good enough? He's not good for me? Who the fuck are _you_ to judge what's good for me, asshole? You haven't bothered to be around the last, oh, seven fucking _years_. You don't know a fucking thing about me, and you certainly don't know shit about him. That man right there," she pointed at me, finding my exact location without even needing to look, "is a stranger to you. You don't know him any more than you know me. All you know is Alice's Puppet and Edward's Doll - and in case it wasn't already clear, they're both dead."

She paused for a moment, staring him dead in the eye, daring him to challenge her. When he didn't, she spoke again, her volume lower but no less threatening, "I suggest, if you plan to stay, you get to know us as we are now. If you can't do that, you can get the fuck out. And don't you dare ever question my relationship with Jasper again. Ever. That's not a fucking topic that's up for discussion with people I don't know or trust."

I felt his remorse and misery, but I also felt acceptance from him. He was immensely hurt, but he understood.

"I didn't know, Bella. I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"Obviously," she said, not giving an inch. I could tell she was running out of steam, but she wasn't going to let him off the hook yet, either. He shot me an apologetic look and retreated, heading out the back door. I saw Peter follow him out about ten seconds later.

Bella walked back to me and took my hand again before she turned a cold gaze to Rosalie. "What about you? Got a fucking opinion about how I have no place in this world now? Want to try and cut Jasper down with more of Alice's sick, twisted bullshit?"

Rose barked an odd laugh. "Not at all. I can't say I appreciate the way you just talked to my husband, but he needed to hear it. I told him it wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses when we got here, but he wouldn't hear it."

"Is that all?"

"Pretty much. It's clear there's a lot that's changed. I'd still like to have that talk if you're willing."

I sent Bella Rose's feelings of sincerity, and was relieved when she finally started to relax.

"Fine, then. You go sit, I'll get the drinks," Bella agreed. "J, could you handle the music?"

Emmett and Peter came back a few minutes after we'd gathered in the living room. Emmett still looked a little bit like someone had kicked his puppy, and I felt bad for him, but Rose had been right; he needed to hear it. And Bella deserved to say it, however she wanted. As Bella recounted an abridged version of her life since Forks, I noticed she did it with a lot less hurt than before. I noticed Bella had not revealed much about what she actually was or what she could do, and I'd have to talk to Peter and Char about making sure they followed her lead on that. I knew Bella tended to prefer keeping the details close to her chest; the three of us were an unusual exception for her. Em and Rose both listened intently, and I felt a huge amount of guilt and regret from both of them by the time she was done.

Bella, of course, wasn't interested in their apologies when offered. She said it was empty bullshit that would only serve to make them feel better about themselves, and if they were serious to prove it by being real friends now.

After Rose told Bella the story of her change and why she'd been so against Bella's being around them as a human, they came to an understanding of sorts and warmed to each other considerably.

When they were done, I explained my side of things with Alice, and got more apologies, but this was one thing I was in total agreement with Bella on. I had more understanding of their behavior; they'd lived under Alice's thumb, too, but they still failed me as friends and siblings many times over. They needed to prove something to me, now, before I let them have that role back.

Maybe I needed to prove something to myself, too.


	15. Chapter 15

 

**BPOV**

I was seriously irritated. All these people, all these distractions, and all I wanted was to go back to that quiet little world that J and I had created, even if it’d only been for a few hours. If I could, I’d stay there for centuries.

I was having a bit of a struggle trying not to be petty where it came to Emmett. I was still not ready to forgive him, but since they’d come to help us, and since most of his biggest mistakes were not really entirely his own fault, I was trying to at least be tolerant. I’d told him he needed to know us now, and I meant that. It was letting him know me now that I had a problem with. As far as I was concerned, he had no fucking right to know me. Or Jasper. Every one of the Cullens had forfeited that right.

Except perhaps, for Rosalie. She’d never claimed me as family; she always made it clear she didn’t like me and had no intention of trying to. She never gave me one iota of false hope where that was concerned, and it was her departure that had hurt the least. She’d also gained a few points of respect in my eyes when Jasper had told me how she’d been the only one to ever question Alice on his behalf publicly. She’d gained a few more by letting me say what I needed to say to Emmett without interference.

After we swapped stories, I think we understood each other a little better. I actually kindof liked her, and if it weren’t for all the bullshit going on right now I might make a bigger attempt to befriend her. With her, what you saw was what you got, she didn’t sugarcoat anything and she did not bend or change her opinion just because someone else wanted her to. I could see how the shy idiot I’d been at seventeen would have been someone she’d dismiss as a person and view as a threat given the situation. Shit, in her position, I probably would have reacted the same way.

It’d taken until several hours past dawn to finish all the freaking talking - that shit was seriously starting to get old - and then it was time to go show J what I could do. I’d promised him I would, and honestly, if it gave him peace of mind I was happy to do it. He’d believed me when I told him I could take care of myself, but I wanted to show him I could keep myself out of harm’s way.

I was standing barefoot in the grass, facing him while the other four vampires in the house watched us from the back deck. This gave me access to direct energy - it was harder to draw from than other sources, but it’d keep me from becoming depleted. My radar dinged, and I pushed up from the ground with my feet, boosting myself by levitating, until I was about 9 feet up. He ran right under me. I moved to a sitting position and waved down at him, grinning.

He smiled up at me, “Very nice. You can’t use that where humans might see, though.”

I held up a bottle of dust and shook it at him. “Forgetfulness,” I said.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Really?” was all he said.

“Well, there’s also this,” I said, and scratched the inside of a wristband I had on until some dust came out.

He just stared at me expectantly. “There’s also what, darlin’?”

“You have your light on you, don’t you?” I asked him.

“Always,” he said.

“Give it to Peter Pan, please. Just for a minute,” I said.

As soon as he did, he looked in my direction and laughed. “Invisibility dust, I assume? Is it all cheap tricks like this?” he asked, taking his light back from Peter.

I shrugged, “It’s what I have to work with in a pinch. If I have some time beforehand, I can put some spells in place, too.”

“Well, if cheap works, then it works. I can’t deny it’s effective,” he approved, “but could you come down now? I don’t like you where I can’t reach you.”

I reached a hand down for him, and he took it without question. He looked surprised, though, when I pulled him up with me instead. “They can’t get us up here,” I told him conspiratorially. “We could stay up here all day.”

“They’d find shit to throw at us eventually,” he said, but his smile told me he didn’t think it was actually a bad idea. I loved how much he smiled, now.

“Hush,” I told him. “We’re literally magically defying gravity right now. Logic has no place in this conversation.”

“Hmm, fair point,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. I was pretty sure I was never, ever going to get tired of kissing this man. This time it was quiet, but intense. I felt a current of desire run through me at the things this kiss was promising, and he smiled against my lips before breaking away. “Not now, darlin’. There won’t be an audience when we take that road,” he said in a low tone I knew the others couldn’t hear.

I sighed and let go of the levitation, allowing us to drift back toward the earth. He was right, but it didn’t stop me from being annoyed again at the situation. I had half a mind to light Alice’s hair on fire for causing it. That might be fun, I thought. I wouldn’t do it, though. Alice was Jasper’s fight, like Emmett had been mine. It wouldn’t be fair for me to take that from him. The thought was damn amusing, though.

“Well, that was enlightening, but what now?” Peter called.

Jasper shrugged. “We wait, I suppose. There’s not much else we can do.” He turned to me, “Do you need to rest?”

I nodded, “A few hours should be fine. If I wait til closer to the time, though, I’ll be stronger.”

“How long, now?”

“They should show up around this time tomorrow,” Peter said.

“Just enough time for a little party,” Charlotte smiled. I gave her the dirtiest look I could. “Don’t you two even give me that shit,” she snapped. I looked at Jasper, who was also glaring. I felt a little better. “They came here to back you, to help you two out. I know you guys have your issues, but the least you could do is spend a little time with them. Besides, if you two had gotten your heads out of your asses a month ago, you wouldn’t be having this issue right now,” she finished smugly.

“You know, Wendy, sometimes I hate your face,” I told her.

“I know, sugar. Now go change. We’re gonna party.” She looked at Jasper pointedly. “We’re low on liquor.” Charlotte was quickly rising ranks on my shit-list.

The guys had left for their booze run by the time I came back out to the living room. This was the first time Jasper and I had been more than five feet apart since the shift, and I found I didn’t like the feeling. There was a tether that connected us now, which afforded me some comfort. I knew exactly where he was - how far away and in what direction - and that helped some.

Rose’s mouth dropped. I’d taken the opportunity to make some dust-enhanced changes to my appearance. Some for J’s benefit, and some just to help me get more into the mindset I knew I’d need tomorrow. Plus, it was just fucking fun to rock a purple mohawk once in a while.

“Ohhh, good idea, Bella!” Charlotte said excitedly when she saw me. “I love that color! Oh, that gives me an idea,” she said, going to her room and returning in a flash with her own bottle of violet dust. Char used the stuff so often, I’d had to give her her own supply. We’d found out that my theory about how it’d work for vampires was actually wrong. She couldn’t give herself tattoos, but she could add patterns to her skin that looked somewhat similar to the scars she carried. I knew it was venom that created the scars, and it was painful, but I also wondered, not for the first time, if vampires could attain a sort of scarification by using another’s venom. It was obvious why none had tried - rubbing someone else’s bodily fluids into yourself for beauty went a little too far. Then again, there was Marking as a thing, so maybe not.

As Char’s curly blue shoulder length hair changed to a fire-engine red asymmetrical bob, Rose exclaimed, “Um, what the fuck is this!? You found a way to change our hair and didn’t tell me?!”

Char shrugged, “You didn’t say anything about the new ‘do when I picked you up. I assumed you disapproved.”

“I thought it was a wig,” Rose said. “What is that stuff?”

“It’s fairy dust,” I told her simply.

“So you’re…”

“Yep.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” she said simply, accepting it without question. “Now, how does that work? Will it work on me?” I liked her a little more for not bombarding me with questions over it.

Char took over explaining how it worked, and did the honors. Rose didn’t go for broke like we did, choosing to keep her length and cut but changing the color to a dark brown just a shade or two lighter than black.

I noticed with some relief that I could feel Jasper coming closer again through the tether and I placed a hand to my chest where I felt it. I didn’t know much about it, yet, but I could see this connection coming in seriously handy.

Char noticed my action and arched a brow. “You feel him, don’t you? The pull?”

I shook my head. “It’s not a pull. I can feel him though. I know where he is. They’re on their way back.”

She nodded, “That’s how it is for me and Peter too. No tug, just an awareness. You’ll be able to feel other things through it, too.”

Rose was watching our exchange with interest. “So you’re actually mates, then? I didn’t think that was possible for a vampire and a human.”

“I’m not human,” I reminded her.

“Clearly,” she said in acknowledgement. “So, how is he?”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“How is he? I mean, I imagine the whole empath thing probably comes in handy, there. Alice was never forthcoming with the details.”

I was shocked at the question, and her forwardness. In a house of repressed vampires, who would have expected any of them to consider sex a casual topic of discussion? “I’ll let you know when I find out,” I told her.

“He hasn’t claimed you yet?” she said, surprised.

I didn’t know how to answer that. Yes, we both wanted that, but it hadn’t happened yet. It felt more important to just be together, first. I was pretty sure we were on the same page in that regard.

Thankfully, Charlotte came to my rescue, “Their bond is different, Rosalie. It’s been there since the beginning, but it took them a long time to recognize it. They only did so a few hours before you and Emmett got here. It’s not the same as a typical vampire mating.” She sounded like she knew more about it than she was saying. I was gonna need to ask her about it later.

Not wanting to continue to discuss the ins and outs of my relationship just yet, I went to go set up some music in the living room. My relationship with Jasper was just too new; I didn’t want to share it with anyone, whether it was discussing the nature of our bond or speculating about what the sex might be like. We could and would find these things out together. I quashed a flare of irritation at the attempted intrusion - I knew they didn’t mean it that way. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it with them, most especially since Jasper and I had barely talked about it between the two of us.

Thankfully, it was a shortly after that the guys returned. J noticed my new choice of hairstyle and approved with a wink and a smile. “Anything else?” he asked.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” I told him innocently. He was in front of me in a second, running his fingers over the shaved area above my ear and smirking.

“Oh, sweetheart. Do you really want to play this game?” he said lowly, directly into my ear. His breath sent a shiver down my spine, and he compounded the sensation by sending a burst of lust through his fingertips on my scalp.

“Do you?” I responded, flipping it back and forcing it out, adding to it as much as I could.

He laughed softly, almost dangerously. “Absolutely, but I think now would be a bad time,” he said, glancing to the side.

All four of those fuckers were standing at the counter in a row, watching us with varying degrees of shock and smugness on their faces. If they wanted to stare at us like a bunch of fucking creepers, I had no problem giving them a show. I waved at them with my favorite finger and closed the distance between our lips. It was a few minutes before Peter called, “Hey assholes, project much?” and we finally broke apart.

It seemed that was as good an icebreaker as any, because the rest of the day was passed with the six of us drinking, joking, and laughing. As much as I hated the lack of alone time with J, Char had been right. It was good for all of us. Rose and I bonded with crude jokes and she finally admitted she’d sent her own care package of glitter dicks to the Denali coven. It had backfired, though. They loved them.

Emmett seemed to be effectively broken of the idea that I was someone who needed to be protected or controlled, and that was a good thing for both of us. I didn’t want to have to tear into him again. I was still holding back with him, but I could see myself forgiving him now. In time.

As the sky started to get light, Peter gently let us know we were a few hours out, and J came with me to nap. I only slept for about two hours, and spent the rest of the time dozing peacefully in much the same way as last night. The two of us like that, it was my new idea of perfection.

This time our peaceful bubble was burst by a loud knock at the front door. We looked at each other, and J called out, “I’ll answer it,” knowing the others would hear.

I smiled at him when he turned at the door to reach for my hand. I wanted him to do this however he wanted or needed to do it, but his choice to not hide us pleased me to no end.

The knock sounded a second time, sharp and impatient, as we approached. Jasper swung the door open quickly before it was finished, and there stood Alice, flanked by Carlisle and Esme, with a disheveled looking Edward behind them who was staring at the ground with red eyes. What the fuck?

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jasper snarled. “You’re not welcome.”

“We’ve come to collect Bella,” Alice said firmly.

“I don’t think so,” he said. The threat in his voice was clearly registered by Esme, who shivered, but the rest didn’t seem to notice.

“Really, Jasper? I told you, you’re going to kill her. That’s what you do. She smells too good, you can’t resist her. It’s amazing you’ve held out this long.”

“Fuck you, Alice. You haven’t seen shit. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Last time I checked, you weren’t the mind reader here, Jasper. Edward can back me up. Edward?”

“She right,” Edward said. “She saw you bite Bella. She’s seen different versions of it since we met her.” He was telling the truth. Interesting.

“Bite, or kill, Edward? Big difference there,” Jasper said.

Carlisle spoke up then, his face almost unrecognizable to me for the amount of disdain it held for my mate, “Jasper, please. This is absurd. You know it’s a bad idea to bet against Alice. Let us take Bella and return her to where she belongs, and you can go back to...whatever it is you do here.”

Jasper’s hand tightened around mine slightly as I started shaking again. These people...they were talking about me like some kind of possession. None of them had even spared me a glance, let alone asked me what I wanted. It did not escape my notice that Carlisle had said they wanted to return me. They were fully prepared to leave me unprotected. Again.

“What is absurd,” Jasper said darkly, “is you showing up on my doorstep, when I clearly did not want to be found, demanding anything of me at all. How did you find me, anyway?”

“Oh, please,” Alice waved a hand. “It’s not that hard to follow a paper trail. When you weren’t at any of the houses you owned, we figured you’d be at one of Peter’s. Then we just narrowed it down.”

“You four have been going from house to house looking for me?” Jasper asked incredulously.

“Yes, and it’s been very tiring. If you could stop being so rude and let us in,” Alice moved to push past him into the house, and he let go of my hand to block her.

“Absolutely not! I told you, you are not welcome here. Don’t even think about stepping foot inside my house. It’ll be the last step you ever take,” he growled.

“Do you see, Bella?” I heard Edward call. Now, he addresses me. “He is a monster. You should come with us, we’ll keep you safe.” He was lying.

“What I see is a hypocrite, Edward. Your eyes are just as red as his.”

“That was a mistake!” Esme defended him. About time she spoke up during this little shitshow.

“Oh, I doubt that, Esme,” Jasper said. “After all, Bella is Edward’s singer, isn’t she? He resisted her for months. No, I don’t think it was a slip at all. His eyes are too darkly red for that.”

Edward said nothing, looking at the ground again. Something was going on, there. I narrowed my eyes and looked at him. He wasn’t just disheveled, he was downright filthy. He hadn’t been taking care of himself. He’d been feeding on humans. My radar chimed in, and my stomach flipped. This ‘visit’ was about more than just Jasper.

We needed to block their escape route. They could not leave here. I glanced backward; Peter and Charlotte were with Rose and Emmett off to the side out of view.  I looked at Peter and glanced to the back door, then the front again. He nodded, nudged Emmett, and left out the back door.

I still needed a way to tell Jasper, but I couldn’t alert them that I knew anything. Desperately, I willed him to figure it out. Suddenly, he flinched, and turned his head to look at me with wide eyes. I felt curiosity, and sent back assurance. I didn’t know if he’d figured it out or I’d somehow managed to tell him, but it didn’t really matter.

As soon as he felt my response, he roared, quaking with anger. The four intruders on our doorstep tried to move backward, surprised, but then fell to the ground; Alice and Esme curled into a fetal position, Edward on his hands and knees, and Carlisle on his knees, hunched over with his arms around himself.

“You dare,” Jasper breathed. “You dare to come here with the intent to steal what is mine. You dare think you could give her to Edward to drain and blame it on me? You dare plan these things and call me a monster?” He spoke quietly, his voice full of pure menace.

If he wasn’t mine, I might have been terrified. As it was, I was pretty turned on by it. He was glorious in this moment, radiating anger, confidence, and power. His gift was obviously much more powerful than he ever let on, but he didn’t abuse it. He never used more than was necessary. It occurred to me that if he wanted, he could probably bend people to his will without much effort, but he never used his gift that way.

“You don’t know the meaning of the word,” he continued, pushing off the door frame and beginning to walk in slow circles around them. “You have absolutely no idea what you just walked into.”

Peter and Emmett rounded the house, and Emmett approached with a shocked expression. “What did you do to them?”

“Nothing they didn’t do to me. I’m just letting them feel all the misery they put Bella and I through,” Jasper answered, but his tone hadn’t changed. He looked at me then, and glanced to Emmett, and I knew what he wanted me to convey.

“You want to prove yourself, Emmett?” I called to him. “Then don’t interfere. Jasper’s reasons for this are justified, but they’re not mine to tell and he isn’t in a state to express them. So you have a choice; trust us or trust them. They’ve made it so there is no grey area anymore.”

His eyes flicked back and forth a few times between Jasper and his sire, and he ultimately walked back to Peter.

Jasper circled the remaining Cullens a few more times, eyeing them intently.

“Peter. Dismember them and put the arms and legs in the shed. I want to know exactly why they did this. The rest of them can go out back; I don’t want them tainting Bella’s home.”

“Esme didn’t know,” Peter said.

Jasper looked to me to make the decision. Honestly, I felt nothing for the woman except a bit of contempt. Either she was stupid or willfully ignorant, and I respected neither. Still, that didn’t warrant torture, did it?

“Let Rose handle her,” I said.

He nodded once, and looked at Peter, saying “Do not disturb us under any circumstance. We will rejoin you when we are ready,” then walked to me, taking my hand and heading back to our suite as Peter carried out his orders.

We both needed our bubble.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**JPOV**

As soon as the door to our suite was closed, I turned to Bella, "What was that?"

"I don't know," she answered. "I was looking at Edward - something seemed off about him - and then my radar told me. I needed you to know, but I knew if they heard me tell you they'd bolt. That's why I had Peter and Emmett go around the house - in case it didn't work, or I couldn't find a way. You heard me, I take it," she finished.

I grabbed her and held her tight to me, "I did. I will never let them have you, Bella."

She laughed, "I don't think they're in a position to even try right now."

"That's true," I acknowledged. I didn't let her go, though. "I just…" I'd just gotten her. We hadn't even had time to let the bond settle yet and there was a coven of vampires ripped into pieces in my backyard that wanted us both dead. Their threat was neutralized, but things could so easily have gone another way. It was too soon to entertain such a possibility.

"I know, J," she soothed. "Come on." I let her move to twist around in my arms and walk us awkwardly to the bed, and we curled into what had become my favorite position to be in, facing each other.

"Was it really what they did to us, that knocked them down like that?" she asked me.

"Yes. It was concentrated and condensed, so stronger than either of us felt at any one time, but yes," I told her honestly.

"I didn't know your gift was so powerful," she said, but I felt no fear from her about it.

"I don't often have to use it to its full extent. I didn't then, either," I told her. "Besides, you're one to talk about power. Can we add telepathy to the list now, too, then?"

"I don't know. I needed you to know what I knew, and I willed you to know it too. I don't know if that was telepathy, or something else," she told me.

I didn't know, either. I knew what she was saying - I had heard stories that some mates knew when the other was in danger, but I'd never encountered it, so I had no basis for comparison. Besides that, our bond was different in many ways. I didn't know what to expect out of it.

A while later, she asked, "What are you going to do with them?"

"Whatever it takes to get answers. They wanted us both dead, and me at least to suffer, though I doubt Edward would have let it be quick for you either. I want to know why."

"Something happened to him," she observed. I nodded.

"Yeah, something did. But that's not an excuse."

"No," she agreed. Then, she said, "I want to be with you, when you question them."

"Are you sure? It's likely to get a little messy. I'll probably get scary again."

"You didn't scare me. Did you feel any fear from me?" she demanded gently. No, now that I thought back, I hadn't. There had been pride, respect, love, and quite a bit of lust. When I didn't answer right away, she continued. "No, you didn't, because there was none. I'm proud of you for what you did. I'd still have been proud if you'd felt it necessary to do more."

"Sometimes I still can't quite believe how okay you are with things like this," I answered.

"After what I've seen, it really doesn't bother me. If it's whether I'll look at you differently you're worried about, don't. I see you, Jasper. I know exactly who you are. I'm always going to see you like I do now. I can't look at you any other way," she said.

"I know," I told her, "We're mated."

"No," she disagreed, "It's not that. I fell in love with you before I ever even knew it was a possibility, and I knew what I was getting into. I know what vampires are capable of - what you are capable of. I'm quite capable of violence myself, you know."

I knew that too, but it was still reassuring to hear, and I told her as much before letting my mind wander again. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve her, but I wasn't about to insult her, or what we had, by questioning her judgement of character. She'd brought me back to myself after a century and a half, and there was every reason to believe I'd get to keep her forever. The nature of the bond we had left no room for doubts and insecurities, and about this - about her - I had none. The greatest gift we had was the fact that we'd fallen in love before we bonded as mates. Neither of us would ever have to wonder if it was forced or if there could have been something better. We knew.

"I love you," I said out loud. "I don't think I've actually told you yet, but I do."

"I know," she smiled. "I love you, too."

"I know," I answered.

We stayed like that for the rest of the day. When it was starting to get light again, Bella got up and went to the desk, getting a small ornate sack. I recognized it as a jewelry bag; Alice had had a few, but I didn't think Bella really did jewelry.

"Whatcha got there?"

She smirked, "It's time to get your game face on, J. I'll stay in here with you forever, but it'd be much nicer to do it without the body parts in the backyard hanging over our heads."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I know. Are you getting up, or what?"

"I suppose so, darlin', though not the way I'd like to."

The innuendo paid off as I felt her reaction, but outwardly she just smiled and said, "Well then, let's go deal with our little problem so we can move onto _bigger_ ones."

Yeah, I really fucking loved her.

"Let's go, then."

We walked out to the expected audience in the living room.

"Pay up, bitch," Peter held his hand out to Emmett expectantly. I saw Em count a few bills and lay them in Peter's hand as he turned to us and explained, "We keep tryin' to tell em you two are different, but Emmett insisted you wouldn't come out til you'd done it."

"Like I'd give those assholes in the backyard a show like that," Bella scoffed.

Esme's eyes widened as she took Bella in. I could understand her shock as Bella stood there with a smirk on her face like she knew something nobody else did. I wondered if she'd even noticed her the day before. She was nothing like the girl Esme had known anymore as she stood next to me with her head held high, her stance confident and unwavering. There was no trace of a blush or embarrassment at their obvious curiosity about our sex life. I felt a jolt of pride about it; so long ago, when I'd told her she was worth it, I'd have never imagined how right I was.

Esme, though, seemed to have a different opinion. "Oh, Bella," she sighed. "What have you done to yourself? You were so beautiful."

What was it with these people and saying the exact wrong thing to my woman?

Bella looked up at me, "I assume she disapproves of my hair. Or perhaps my piercings. Maybe it's the tattoos? Esme?" She turned to look in Esme's direction as she spoke.

"I-..." Esme stuttered, then turned to me. Imploringly, she asked, "How could you let her?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. She's fucking gorgeous," I told Esme. And I meant it. I had big plans to explore and pay homage to every one of her decorations, and, to my own surprise, I actually did like her hair how it was now. Who knew shaved hair on a woman could be so enticing?

Bella was having none of this. "Let me? Nobody _lets_ me do anything," she told Esme in a warning tone.

As I glanced around the room, I noted expectant smirks on the faces of all but one. I looked at Emmett, who held his hands up and leaned back. _Good decision_ , I thought.

Esme, very wisely for a change, stayed silent while Bella stared her down. She made no move to speak, and I understood why. We had a bigger battle to fight, and she didn't want to waste her energy on this - but holding back was hard for her.

So, I spoke for her, addressing Esme with a glare, "I see you've finally made a good decision. Allow me to clear something up for you. The only reason you're sitting there now is by her grace. If it were up to me, you'd be a pile of parts in the backyard like the rest of them. I can still change my mind, so I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself. You gave up the right to an opinion about her when you walked out on her - even more so when you followed those dumbfucks here. Did you know they planned to let Edward drain her?"

Her eyes grew wide, and I felt her horror.

"I thought not. You're in a very precarious position here, Esme. It would not be wise for you to forget that."

Bella sent me her gratitude before speaking, "Can we go get this over with, J?"

I nodded, "Let's."

Peter grinned, clapping and rubbing his hands together with glee. He had always hated the Cullens as a general rule. He'd warmed a little to Emmett and Rose, but the set we had out back now, he absolutely loathed.

"You can come out and watch what happens, but stay out of this," I told him before turning to Emmett and Rosalie. "You two have a choice here, but I have a feeling you're going to need to see this to believe it."

I turned and walked out the door, following the scent of spilled venom to the back corner of the cleared yard opposite the shed. I laughed when I saw it; Peter had propped them upright leaning against each other, facing the jumbled pile of their missing limbs that was placed in front of the shed. I noticed with approval that he'd broken their parts down more than was strictly necessary. If they managed to convince me to give them back, it might be hard to determine what belonged to who.

Finally, I addressed them, "I hope you had a good time-out. Now, who wants to be first?" I waited. Silence.

I'd start with Carlisle. His business here wasn't the only information I wanted out of him, and he would be much less likely to speak if I killed Alice and Edward first.

"Alright then, we do it my way. Peter, take these two," I pointed at Alice and Edward, "and move them out of earshot of us and each other. I intend to get the truth today."

"I always knew you would destroy my family," Carlisle spat from behind me.

If he wanted to start this way, that was fine with me. Upset people talked more. "Did you, now?" I asked, before turning around.

"Yes," he insisted.

"And tell me, how exactly do you figure I'm the one responsible for the destruction of your little family?"

"I wasn't talking to you," he said irritably. Well, _that_ did surprise me. I followed his gaze over to Bella.

"You don't know anything about her," I said threateningly.

"I know you're all obsessed with her. First Edward, then Alice and Emmett, and now you, apparently."

"I'm not following, Carlisle. Why does it matter to you if she's here with me? You made it damn clear just how unwelcome I was. Why take her? She's safe here."

"I'm not concerned with her safety. I was glad when we all thought she was dead, but now...she can't continue. Her very existence causes too much turmoil."

"You were never going to 'return' her anywhere, were you? You were going to let Alice and Edward kill her."

"I said I'd get her where she belongs," was all he said.

Ah, so that was it. Carlisle felt she belonged dead. My blood boiled at the realization.

"Nice. So the revered vampire doctor, supposedly the best of us for his renowned humanity and compassion, would end a human girl because she disrupted his peaceful little lie. And you think I'm the monster."

"It wasn't a lie!"

"Yes it was, and it is. What you just said proves it."

"All it proves is that I will do anything to protect my family," he insisted. The extent of his delusion was startling.

"And me?"

"A convenient scapegoat."

"Scapegoat for what, Carlisle? It's not as if the Volturi would come knocking for a single human."

He went silent and looked away.

"For Edward," Bella said from behind me.

"How could you know that?" Carlisle demanded.

Bella just smiled at him, then she looked at me. "Edward's left a bit of a mess and the Volturi have had to step in. They are not pleased - but they haven't pinned down who it is yet. In fact, it was Carlisle's intention to lead them here and blame the whole thing on you."

"You brought the Volturi down on us?" I would murder him right now.

"No...no, not yet," he said. He was trembling. Good.

"Explain."

Bella cut in again. "He was planning to use you to cover up the frenzy drinking me would have started."

I stood stock still while I waited for the rage to subside. I weighed the options in my head. If I killed him, there was a good chance the Volturi would come looking now. Especially if he'd been in contact with them. Still, I couldn't let him go; he was too big a threat now and he knew our location - he would probably still try to send the Volturi at us. "That second thing you showed me yesterday, Bella, how effective is it?"

"Effective enough that he would never know. Not so effective no-one else could figure it out," she said carefully. So, it didn't erase the memories, just made them so he couldn't recall them himself. Aro would still be able to read him.

"I have something similar, but it's not without consequences," she continued, making a tiny gesture to bring my attention to the bag in her hand. Just what the hell did she have in there?

"For who?"

"For anyone who knows him, who ever knew him. Esme the most. Rose and Emmett to a lesser degree. Us too, though I wouldn't mind, and I doubt you will either."

Carlisle stared at her with wide eyes, and I felt fear from him. He was probably right to fear her - I had no idea what she was intending to do to him.

"How bad?"

"Devastating," she said matter-of-factly.

"And you think this is the best course of action?"

"We can't kill him, and we can't let him leave - he'll bring the Volturi on us either way."

"I won't tell them where you are," Carlisle plead. Smart man, pleading now - but it was too late. Still, his statement told me that the Volturi didn't know where we were yet.

"What _did_ you tell them?"

"Nothing yet," he swore. Bella nodded - he was telling the truth.

"Alright then. I trust your judgement," I told her. If she could solve this problem, I didn't much care how she did it.

She turned to Carlisle. "What do you know about the fae?" she asked him.

His eyes went wide. "They're a myth, now. The Volturi records say the last was destroyed four or five hundred years ago."

Yeah, I knew all about those records. They were valuable, but about as reliable as any other propaganda. All told from Volturi point of view, to make themselves look good. I'd thought Carlisle of all people would know better than to swallow that shit hook, line, and sinker. Still, it wouldn't hurt to know what they said. Maybe there was a nugget of truth to be gleaned that might help us out.

"And?" she prompted.

"Supposedly they had varying abilities and degrees of power, and were particularly fond of humans. They refused to keep the secret; that's why they were killed off."

"Anything else?"

"There was something about the last being destroyed being a fulfillment of a requirement, but it didn't say for what and I never found anything that referenced it after that."

"And that's really everything you know?" she studied him carefully.

"Yes."

"Well, that's disappointing." She turned around to face me. "Put him back together, J. If you don't the venom from his limbs will neutralize my dust."

"You're going to use dust on him? I thought it wasn't powerful enough for that."

"You really should pay closer attention to what Charlotte and I are doing," was all she said by way of answer.

As much as it irked me sometimes, I did love this side of her. Maybe I should be paying closer attention - after all, it was her toolkit. She clearly had more in it than I had realized.

I set Peter to the task of finding all Carlisle's parts, since he'd been the one to rip them into such tiny pieces. Several hours later, we were looking at a freshly whole vampire, still immobilized with the pain of his reattachment. Esme had gone inside with Rose a while ago - she claimed she couldn't stand to see him hurt so much. I thought back to my earlier speculation about mating - if that were Bella nothing in the world could keep me from her side.

"I will need help with this, Jasper. I need to get it into his mouth, he needs to swallow it."

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing?"

"I suppose it can't hurt now," she said. "I didn't want to say it in front of anyone who might try and stop me. We made some dust we found in the witches' notes. They're hybrids - dust strengthened or modified with a spell. The one I plan to use is called Blank Slate."

"You're going to wipe his memory."

"Completely, yes. He will retain basic functions - how to walk, for example, and his instincts, but everything else will be gone."

"Who will teach him to live?"

"That's not our problem," she said. "He brought this on himself. He came here intending to see us both dead. His life, such as it will be, is irrelevant to me so long as he stays away from us."

I looked at Bella then, and realized exactly what she had meant earlier when she said she could never see me any other way. I'd never seen this ruthlessness in her before, but it didn't surprise me, and it changed absolutely nothing. If anything, I was a little glad; here she was getting ready to inflict a fate arguably worse than death on someone and she felt nothing but determined about it. She was doing this for us, to protect us, and I would have done the exact same thing if I had the tools she did.

"Sweetheart, we cannot just wipe him clean and leave him on his own someplace," I told her.

"He figured it out the first time," she argued.

"What about Esme?" Charlotte asked. "Aren't they mates?"

"I don't think their bond will survive this," I told her. "They're not strong mates. We really should give them some kind of warning, it's not like they can stop us."

"Fine," Bella agreed. There was impatience in her voice, but it wasn't with me - she just wanted this over with. We still had two more assholes to deal with, after all.

"I'll go tell them," Charlotte offered. "I can do it without giving Bella away."

I didn't know how she planned to do that, but I made no argument with her. It wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with them.

It was Rose who emerged with Charlotte about twenty minutes later. "Emmett and I will take him to Denali. We'll say he was experimenting with venom and we found him like this. It won't be questioned."

I nodded. "And Esme?"

"Esme is in agreement with your decision. She won't be a problem." Peter and Bella both nodded agreement, tapping their heads in sync.

"Let's do this then. Peter, hold him in place."

I bent down and gripped Carlisle's jaw, forcing it to open and stay that way so he couldn't take a snap at Bella. He was horrified and terrified, but that wouldn't last long. She fished a pale blue vial of dust from her bag, poured about half of it directly down his throat, and murmured a few words in a language I didn't understand. As soon as she finished, his emotions went blank and he slipped into unconsciousness.

"He'll be out until the wipe is complete. About a day per decade of life, the notes said," Charlotte offered.

"Move him onto the porch. I still don't want him in my house. You can take him when we've finished with the other two," I told Rose.

Bella put a hand on my arm, and I tugged her into an embrace we both needed. Ending a life was always hard, and this was...well, this was harder. From Bella's emotions, I gathered she'd never had to make a decision quite like this before, and was probably not prepared for how hard it would be to carry out. Still, there was no regret in her. I held her like that for a long time; it was dark again when Peter came out to remind me that we still had two more problems to handle.


	17. Chapter 17

 

**BPOV**

I was a little baffled by how little the three remaining autonomous Cullens seemed to care about what we had done to Carlisle. Not one of them had so much as made a single comment about it. Maybe they were waiting until we dealt with Alice and Edward. Then again, I wasn't the empath, so it's not like I could really tell.

I didn't regret it one bit. I felt a little sad for him, and I didn't like that it had come to that but it had been necessary. At least, that's what I told myself. I couldn't really dwell on everything I felt about it now, anyway. I'd talk to Jasper about it later. He was also going to want some answers about what else I had in there and why I hadn't disclosed it before. I just hoped none of the remaining vials needed to come out before this was over and I had a chance to discuss it with him.

When Peter came out to jolt us back to reality, Jasper looked down at me, and I noticed how much of a toll this was taking on him. His irises were black and he had deep bruises forming beneath his eyes. "Do you need to sleep before round two?" he asked.

"No, but you need to hunt."

"I'm not leaving you here alone with them," he said in a tone that told me this was not up for discussion.

Like that would stop me. I was preparing to fight him on it when Peter appeared again, this time with a few blood bags.

I took them and handed one to Jasper - they were warmed, I'd have to thank Peter later. "Drink. Taking care of me is no excuse to not take care of yourself." His raised brow and steady look told me he wasn't happy about it, but he took the bag so I considered it a win. While he did, I asked him which one he wanted to handle next.

"Edward," he answered. "I don't want to take the chance that I'll get too angry after Alice and kill him before we find out what happened there." Apparently he realized how thirsty he'd been, because he ripped into the second bag almost as soon as he was done speaking.

When he was finished, he continued, "I don't know what else you have in that little bag of horrors, but you can't do to him what you did to Carlisle. You cannot be anywhere near his mouth. Chances are he won't be gettin' out of this alive, anyway - he'll never leave you alone. Are you prepared for that?"

I nodded. I'd known it from the minute I saw him behind Carlisle and Esme. He lifted my chin with his fingers and searched my eyes for confirmation before calling for Peter.

He came back a couple minutes later with Edward under one arm, while he had a lighter that he was gleefully swinging in his other arm, allowing it to get dangerously close to Edward's open wounds...and hair. There was a look of sheer terror on Edward's face. I couldn't help but laugh - Peter Pan was just having too much fun, and it was infectious. Even Jasper laughed a little.

Peter propped Edward up against the shed in front of us, next to his pile of parts - he'd sorted out Alice and Edward's chunks just in case while he was digging for Carlisle's - and then bowed deeply and went to stand nearer the house with the rest of the bystanders.

Jasper and I had an equal stake in what happened to Edward and why, though we had not discussed how to handle him. It seemed natural to me to stand next to J and mirror his position, coldly glaring at Edward, who was steadfastly ignoring my presence. When J sent me a bit of encouragement, I realized he'd been waiting for me to speak. He was giving me the lead on this. I sent him my thanks and thought for a minute about what I wanted to say.

"Look at me, Edward," He ignored me. Jasper's expression darkened. "Ignoring me now, hmm?"

"You'd best answer her, Edward."

"I have nothing to say to her. She's food. I don't speak to my food - do you speak to yours?"

What the fuck? I was _food_? Oh, fuck no.

"Look at me, you pathetic, piece of shit excuse for anything at all!"

His eyes slid to me, appraising, and then he said, "You're going to have to take all that metal out before I drink you. It ruins the flavor."

I sent Jasper my utter confusion. This was not what I had expected at all. It was like Edward was completely gone. He returned my befuddlement with a look of total shock and bewilderment.

"He has no emotions at all, except for bloodlust," Jasper said thoughtfully.

Then I got pissed. We deserved this confrontation, damnit!. What the fuck had happened to strip him of all traces of the humanity he'd held so dear? As soon as I thought the word, I knew. _Radar goes ding-a-ling-ling, and this time it's a doozy, ladies and gents._

"Charlotte!" I called. She was at my side instantly. "Touch him," I said.

"Excuse me?" she said incredulously.

"Just fucking do it, I'll explain later!"

"Uh, where?" she looked at me apprehensively.

I finally caught on to what she thought I meant. "Really, Charlotte? Not _there_. Just somewhere still connected to his head, preferably. On his skin."

With a look of complete disgust on her face, she moved toward him tentatively to place a hand on his neck, but he snarled and snapped at her. Jasper sprang forward and grabbed him by the hair, yanking his neck back to give Charlotte access. The effect was nearly instant. By the time Charlotte and Jasper had returned to their flanking positions, Edward was looking around wildly.

Jasper shot me a questioning glance, but I shook my head. Charlotte's gift could wait. This was more important.

Edward started speaking, "Jasper... _Bella_? What's happening?"

"What's _happenin_ ' is you showed up here as my ex-wife's little groupie with every intention to kill Bella, go on another fuckin' killin' spree, and hand me over to the Volturi," Jasper summarized.

"Sounds about right," I agreed.

"But that… What?!" he shook his head.

"Do you even know where you are right now, Edward?" I asked him.

He looked around. "No...What are you doing here, Bella?"

"I live here," I said flippantly. "So does Jasper." I knew it was inappropriate, but I'd been looking forward to confronting him, at least a little bit, and I was going to get some digs in, damnit!

"Bella," Jasper said. It was as close to a warning as he would get with me, I knew. I shrugged. He knew me well.

He addressed Edward then, "What is the last thing you remember?"

"I was down in Mexico, tracking Victoria, and someone came up behind me," he said. "Someone tell me what is happening here? Where are my arms and legs? What is Bella doing with _you_?"

Jasper, however, ignored his questions. "You were in Mexico when this happened?" He looked at me with a grim expression, and I knew what he was thinking.

"Emmett," I called. "Why don't you fill Edward in on why he's here in this particular position. Don't tell him anything I wouldn't. I need to speak to J privately."

"J..?" Edward muttered. "He hates nicknames."

We ignored him, and motioned for Pete and Char to follow. J moved to pick me up, and I let him. I was pretty sure I could just levitate and hang on, but Edward didn't need to know anything more than was strictly necessary at the moment.

"What happened back there, Bella?" Jasper asked as soon as we stopped.

"He was under the effect of someone's gift," I said simply. He nodded impatiently; he'd already put that much together.

"I still don't get why I had to touch him," Charlotte grumbled, wiping her hand on her leg for the hundredth time.

"Don't play stupid, Wendy, it doesn't suit you. You broke whatever effect he was under. Who do you know that can remove a vampire's humanity, or make them unable to feel anything other than bloodlust? Maria?" I ventured.

"Not Maria," Jasper said. "Lucy. He ran into Lucy. This all makes sense now…" he trailed, the gears in his head still turning. We all waited - if anyone could fit it all together, it'd be Jasper. He'd been with them the longest.

"Lucy left shortly after Char was turned. We always thought it was just Maria gettin' sloppy, but without Lucy's gift, she couldn't control her new recruits, and when she killed off the old ones she lost that quality in them. I can't believe I never put that together before. I knew about her gift, but I never thought she used it on me. And Lucy is _exactly_ the type of bitch who would run across a golden-eyed vampire and decide to have a little fun."

He looked at Charlotte, "It appears I owe you more than I thought."

She waved a hand impatiently, still unwilling to admit to anything, "Would she know enough to cause us trouble?"

"No. She hates Maria - that's why she left. Maria killed one too many of Lucy's...pets. Even if they've reconnected, she wouldn't have recognized Edward or connected him to me at all. I think we can put this down to pure shit luck on Eddie's part."

"Oh, I don't think so," Peter chipped in. "Didn't you say Eddie's been missing all this time, and our little oracle claimed not to know where he was?"

"You think Alice sent Edward down there?" I asked, more for confirmation than anything.

"I wouldn't put it past her," Jasper said. "Strategically, it got him out of her way and her head, and as a bonus made him into a tool she could use whenever she saw fit. Particularly against you, Bella."

"I really have no idea why she wants me dead so much," I sighed.

"Because she knew, sugar," Peter said. "She put a lot of effort into keepin' you from removin' our Jasper here from her grasp. She knew if you were allowed to realize you're mates, the jig was up."

"Fuck," I groaned. "I'm so over this bullshit."

"What do you want to do about Edward?" Jasper asked me.

I sighed. "You know, the last seven years have sucked for him, but they also kinda sucked for everyone else, in no small part because of his choices. And he made you miserable for far longer. I say we take the opportunity to say our piece, then see how he reacts."

He shot me full of pride and love. "Alright, then. I guess we should get back to it. You ready to go for another ride?"

"Not the kind I'd like, but I'll take what I can get," I winked at him.

When we returned, Edward glared at me in Jasper's arms with such intense focus that I was surprised when he said, "I can't read any of you. It's so quiet."

"Oh, poor you. Have to communicate like a normal person instead of rapin' our brains to pluck out the perfect thing to say," Jasper said with mock sympathy as he let me down gently.

"I can't help it," Edward started.

"I don't want to hear the excuses. What I do want is for you to tell me just what we should do with you given the way you showed up here?"

He ignored Jasper this time, addressing me instead, "Why are you here with him, Bella? I thought you promised to keep yourself safe."

Edward seemed to have lost his confused hat and donned his sanctimonious pain-in-the-ass prick hat.

"We both made promises we didn't keep," I told him. "You promised it'd be like you never existed. Can't say I'm sorry you couldn't manage to keep that one." Jasper smiled at that. Edward missed it, wrapped up in himself.

"That was the only reason I left, Bella. I lied that day. I loved you. I still love you," he plead, and really, he sounded like he meant it. My lie detector didn't go off, but something about the statement still felt wrong to me.

"Don't lie to me, Edward. The least you owe me is the fucking truth for a change."

"What happened to you, Bella?" he asked imploringly. He was all big eyes and innocence, and I wondered how the fuck I could have ever thought I loved this douchebag man-child. "You used to be so pure…"

"It's called life, asshole. Exactly what you wanted for me. You should be happy."

"You're clearly still determined to throw it away," he observed.

"Throw what away? I won't be losing anything. I have everything I need right here, and it's not going anywhere. I don't intend to, either." He didn't need to know that I wouldn't, whether I was bit or not.

He didn't seem fazed by my declaration at all, and I realized what had felt wrong a minute before. He never loved me, the person. He loved my blood and my silent mind. For him, it had only ever been obsession, but having no basis for comparison, he confused that for love.

"You mean throw away my blood. My scent. The possibility of you ever getting to taste it again. Well, tough shit. It's not for you."

"You're wrong. It's mine. You're mine. You were made for me, and I will have you." Finally, the truth.

"I don't see how you could possibly think I'd agree to that," I told him.

"You don't have to, now. I'll get you away from him, and then you'll see. He's just manipulating you into thinking you're happy here, despicable creature that he is," Edward insisted.

Even though he was himself again, Jasper had been right. Edward would never let me go. He would never leave us in peace. I briefly considered the possibility of sensory deprivation dust to remove his ability to smell me, but decided it wouldn't work. He needed his senses to hunt, and it didn't solve how silent my mind was to him. Obsession wasn't that easy to kill, anyway.

A growl ripped from Jasper, and I smiled indulgently. "I think you're about to find out just how _despicable_ he can be."

Off to the side, behind Edward, Peter started building a fire, that look of pure childish excitement back on his face.

"Indeed," Jasper drawled. "You clearly do not comprehend the position you find yourself in. If you did, you would have answered my question."

"A lot of show," Edward insisted smugly. "You're trying to scare me away from Bella so you can have her for yourself. It won't work. You and I both know that if you don't let me take her and go, Carlisle will call the Volturi and tell them you've broken the law."

"You hypocritical little shit," Jasper hissed. "You would hang me for your crimes?"

"You should have been put down long ago. I never could figure out why Alice kept you around. She's as disgusted by you as I am."

Jasper was circling Edward slowly, now. The way he held himself in moments like this, I would never get tired of watching. He emanated raw lethality and power. - I felt my knees go a little weak watching him.

"I see that Emmett took Bella's advice. Allow me to fill in some of the blanks he left," he told Edward in a quiet, deadly tone. "Carlisle, as you knew him, is gone. Alice is awaiting her fate for her hand in all this. Emmett and Rosalie have chosen my side, and Bella's, and Esme has chosen her own. There is nobody here who will help you."

Edward tried to interrupt, and Jasper delivered a blow to his face that sent him flying backward with deep cracks in his jawline. "You are finished speaking. You have said enough. Now, you will listen."

At his silence, Jasper continued, "I was almost willing to entertain the possibility that you might leave here alive when we figured out you'd been under Lucy's influence. Almost. You see, there's still the little problem of the years of torture you gleefully inflicted on me. There's still the gigantic fucking mess you made of Bella's life. Actions have consequences, boy. Carlisle used to shield you from them - I think he knew he turned you too young - but that's not the case anymore. And you've just threatened to steal my mate."

I knew Jasper wasn't speaking out loud for Edward's benefit, but for the benefit of the three vampires inside the house. He was explaining his decision now, so they wouldn't try to stop him.

Stubbornly blind, Edward argued, "She can't be your mate, she's mine!"

"Wrong again, boy. You think she's yours because you want to eat her so badly. I know she's mine because the only part of her I do want to eat - well, it's not her blood," he smirked. _Oh, really?_

Edward's eyes bugged out, and he looked at me desperately. "Bella, you can't let him do this! I know you, this will destroy you!"

I shook my head slowly. "No, Edward. You destroyed me. Victoria killing my parents because you didn't clean up your mess destroyed me. You haven't got the faintest clue who I am or what I'm capable of now. If Jasper wasn't about to do it, I would."

I lifted my gaze to Jasper and nodded, sending him my love and certainty.

Almost too quickly for me to see, Jasper picked Edward up by the hair and whipped him into the fire Peter had been building. Peter appeared and scooped up the pieces, heading toward the fire with them to finish the job. "I'll clean up here, you two take a minute," he said cheerfully.

Jasper was in front of me in a split second, but I shook my head. "I need to watch this," I told him, and he moved to my side instead, wrapping a protective arm around me as I slipped mine around his waist and watched the purple smoke begin to rise.

"Are you alright?" he asked me quietly.

"Yes," I answered. And I was. I'd known it would probably happen. I couldn't live with the threat of him attempting to kidnap me hovering over me for the rest of our eternal lives. It was sad, knowing that my first love hadn't really been love at all. It had been nothing but a dysfunctional relationship between an obsessed vampire who should have known better and an infatuated teenaged girl who had no idea what she was getting into. That girl felt so far removed from me it was hard to believe she'd ever been me, and Edward was now a ghost of that past that I'd finally laid to rest. Literally and figuratively. "Are you?"

"Yeah," he said, dropping a kiss to my temple.

When the last of the smoke was gone, Jasper sighed. "Do you need a break?"

"No. I need this over with. And then I need a good drunk, some tunes and some dancing," I answered honestly.

"And me?" he teased, with his head tilted and a smile on his face.

"You can participate, I suppose."

"Hmm. Might be bitin' off more than you can chew there, darlin'."

"I'm counting on it," I assured him.

He sighed, running his fingers over the shaved area above my ear. "We have to deal with Alice first, don't we?"

"Yes," I said.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yes," I repeated.

"Peter," he called. "Bring Alice."


	18. Chapter 18

**JPOV**

I wasn't looking forward to this confrontation, but I _was_ looking forward to some fucking answers. Bella and I both needed this shit over with pronto. Luckily, seeing as we'd already implied we were together to Alice before, there was no reason to hide anything now. I watched Peter bring her along in much the same manner as he had brought Edward - only this time he caught her shirt on fire before quickly tossing her to the ground and rolling her to put it out. Fucker really was having too much fun with this. At least someone was.

He set her up in almost the same place Edward had been in. Her eyes were black by now, and had a glazed-over quality. She was searching her visions to see what to say, if she could find a way out of this. Her emotions were frantic, but steady - mostly dread and panic. Bella noticed too, because she had a tiny, sadistic smile on her face. Yeah, my woman wasn't about to let Alice leave here alive. I wasn't either - we'd just killed Edward for a lot less than what Alice had apparently done. I was sure we didn't even know the half of it, yet.

After a few minutes, Bella muttered, "This is ridiculous. All she should be seeing right now is black. She's not dumb enough to keep searching nothing, is she? What is she seeing?"

I didn't quite agree with Bella's assessment. Alice was nothing if not conniving - if she thought this would buy her time, she'd do it. "Well, we did just kinda kill the person who might've been able to tell us for sure," I said with a little regret. Maybe we should have done this in a different order.

"That's not true," Bella shook her head.

"It's not?" I asked, surprised. I thought she'd told me she didn't know if it was another ability.

"I have dust that would allow me," she said with distaste, "I've never used it, though. Thoughts are the most private thing we have, it just seemed so wrong. I was always glad Edward could never see mine."

"You seem to have dust for everything," I observed.

She looked at me, "There's a dust for every ability, or components of them. Some are more powerful than others. The more powerful, the harder to make, and the less time they last. Again, J, you should really pay more attention when Char and I work on this."

"I will, darlin', but maybe get through this first, yeah? How do you think we ought to proceed here?"

"If you can snap her out of this, I think the truth dust should work fine. You can administer it so I don't need to get too close to her mouth. I'd prefer not to have to read her mind." She turned thoughtful then, and I felt fear and worry coming from her.

"What is it?" I asked.

"There's one other thing I could do, Jasper, but I don't know what the consequences would be." Her hand brushed her jewelry bag.

"Worse than what you did to Carlisle?" I questioned, unable to keep the shock out of my voice.

She nodded. "There's one in here that would strip the magic from her. Strip her gift. But vampirism is its own form of magic, and…" she trailed, and bit her lip worriedly. Even in this fucked up situation, it was still so damn arousing when she did that. "The recipe for this came with a serious warning label, J. There's a chance it wouldn't stop with just her. I don't know what it would do. It might just strip her gift. It might also strip her vampirism. I don't know if that would kill her or not. And there's no guarantee it would stop with her."

"What exactly is this stuff, Bella? What did the warning say?" I demanded, a little harshly. She winced, and I instantly regretted speaking to her that way. But it sounded like she was dabbling in dangerous shit, shit none of us understood. Shit that could have disastrous repercussions for all of us.

"It's called Null. We made it before we saw the footnote," she explained. "It consumes magic. The warning...well, it said to make sure there was enough magic for it to eat, because if not, the effect will spread until it's satisfied."

"And you don't know how much it will take," I prompted.

She shook her head, "No, and even if I did, I don't know how much a vampire, even one with a gift, contains." I wondered if it had occurred to her that she possessed no small amount of magic, herself. What would that shit do to her?

"Well, that's off the table then," I said matter-of-factly. Really, she should destroy that shit. It seemed like even she was afraid of what it might do. "When we are done here, you are going to take me through every one of those vials and exactly what they do. And believe me, I will _definitely_ be payin' more attention to what it is you're cookin' up from now on."

She nodded, her eyes glued to the ground. I felt her remorse and guilt over it, and I couldn't have that. It wasn't her fault I hadn't been paying attention; neither was it really her fault for trying to keep herself stocked with things that would protect her. She didn't really have a lot of innate protection for herself, and she seemed to attract trouble like a fucking magnet.

I lifted her chin gently and looked at her, "Don't feel like that, darlin'. I'm not mad. You just scared me some is all. That stuff could affect you too, you know. Why would someone have even cooked up such a thing?" I wondered aloud.

"Punishment for witches who abuse their power," Bella answered. "That's what the notes said."

That made a lot of sense to me. There was still every chance those witches were after her. In the face of that, something that could destroy magic sounded damn attractive. I sent her my understanding.

"So truth dust then," I said, glancing at Alice. "You said I can use it on her?"

"You're gifted. That's all it takes," Bella confirmed. "Can you bring her out of her trance, though?"

I'd never tried before, but I had several ideas. "I think so."

With Bella's direction, I applied the grey dust to Alice's lips and made sure she ingested some before standing back and sending her a large wave of shock.

The effect was something like if someone had dumped a large bucket of ice water over her head. I smiled. "Welcome back, Alice."

She narrowed her eyes at me and began trying to speak, only to make a lot of garbled noises.

"Trying to lie already?"

She said nothing, just sat and glared.

"Oh now, Alice, you _know_ that silent treatment just ain't gonna fly with me. You're gonna tell us exactly what the fuck you thought you were doin'. The only question is how hard you want to make it for yourself," I said.

More silence. More glares. After everything this woman had put me through, she was still dead set on fucking with me. I gave her a dose of the emotional cocktail from the other day - a little less strength but enough to hurt her, and waited.

It only took her ten minutes to crack.

"S-Stop," she sobbed. "Please."

"What were you seein' before I snapped you back?" I demanded as I pulled the emotions from her. "Don't even try to lie." I threatened.

"Nothing. I was searching, but everything came up blank," she said.

"I thought as much. Tryin' to stall 'til you could find a way to weasel yourself out. Problem is, there's no way around this one. You're going to explain yourself - all of it. And then we'll decide what to do with you."

"Fine then," she sneered. "What do you want to know?"

There were so many things. Why she hunted me down to begin with. Why she spent years trying to stuff me into her little mold. The truth about all the 'slips'. And Bella's party. Why she'd left me, and where that guy she'd left me for was, now. About Edward and how far she'd gone involving Lucy. Why she wanted us dead, now, when if that was her goal she could have accomplished it many times over.

"Start at the beginning," I ordered. "I deserve an explanation for the shit you put me through."

"Oh, that's easy," she giggled. I growled, and Bella made a similar noise of irritation. Alice ignored us and continued, "As you know, my first vision when I woke to this life was of you, Jasper. I never lied about that. It was you as a king, on the Volturi throne. I knew I needed to find you, so I could be your queen."

I would have called bullshit if it weren't for the truth dust. That was just utterly ridiculous.

"Did you ever actually see that happening?" Bella asked.

"Yes, all the time - until you made the decision to move to Forks," Alice glared.

"That would never have happened, Alice. There's no way I'd have been dumb enough to take on the Volturi."

"You would have, if I'd given you a good enough reason to. You did anything I asked - I made sure of it. You were easier to manipulate than I could have ever imagined. All I had to do was say we were mates, and you ate right out of my hand. Then, a few orchestrated slips here, a couple false visions of them there. Edward helped immensely - he was so easily fooled with false visions. It was perfect. Really, I was just waiting for the Volturi to give me a good enough excuse, but then _she_ showed up," she threw her head in Bella's direction, "and the vision changed."

"To what?"

Alice sneered, "To a thousand different things. Her brushing against you in a hallway. You saving her life from any of a hundred accidents. You'd find out you were mates, and you'd turn her. Beyond that, I couldn't see."

I was furious at her revelation, but unsurprised. I'd suspected something along those lines anyway.

"So you used Edward," I prompted.

"That's right. I made him think that the obsession he had with her blood and curiosity over her silent mind were love. It would distract the both of you from each other until I could find a way to remove her permanently. Edward was never going to turn her. I let him see the snippets of the visions where you did so he'd think you wanted to eat her. I let you think it, too. I never bothered to point out that the bloodlust you felt toward her was actually all of ours. I gather you've figured that much out by now, though," she finished, with a note of disdain.

"So Phoenix, and my birthday?" Bella asked.

"Simple. I let you give us the slip because I thought James would kill you and things would go back to how they were - I never imagined James would play with his food and give us time to save you. As for your birthday, I saw when you made the decision, and let it happen for obvious reasons. It served my purpose," she shrugged.

"If what you wanted was Bella and I apart, you got it. So why kick me to the curb after the fact?"

"Because my vision didn't return. You weren't the same barely controlled monster - you resolved to change. I tried to fix that, but it didn't work. I thought maybe if I let you go wild with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, thinking you'd lost me forever, it would bring you back."

"And instead, he found me," Bella said smugly.

"Yes," Alice answered with annoyance.

"What about Edward?" I asked her. "Why send him to Lucy? Did she know?"

"Oh, no!" Alice laughed. "She didn't. She still doesn't. She just thought she got lucky that day, finding a veggie-vampire's world to turn upside down. I sent him to her as punishment for letting Bella go. It ruined my plans. Later, I thought what Lucy did could be of use to me, but now I think that possibility has passed," she said, disappointed.

"You bet your ass it has," I told her.

"It doesn't matter," she grinned, "I have contingency plans."

The statement made my skin crawl, and I felt a tendril of fear and worry snake toward me from Bella.

"That's right. Thought you had me, didn't you? After all the time I put into you, Jasper, you really should have known better than to think I'd let you go so easily. I may not be able to see how it all turns out, but you'll tell me eventually. After Bella's out of the way."

"I was wondering why you came clean so easily," Bella remarked. "You honestly think we're going to let you walk away from here?"

"No, but, like I said, contingency plans. They'll be here soon enough. You really should know better than to leave loose ends, Bella. Coen was _so_ happy when I told him I could find you."

Her eyes went wide. "You know Coen?"

"I found him when I started tracing your movements after our little phone call. He's very eager to find you, Bella. Almost as eager as Edward was. He was delighted when I agreed to submit to a tracing spell - even more so when I told him about Peter's radar." I thought back to our first conversation with Bella. She'd told us, _In my world, it's not always wise to trust your instincts._ The witches must have a way to get around the radar. If they did, we were fucked.

I felt Bella's cold terror and immediately directed it onto Alice. "How long?!" I demanded. No more fucking around. "How long until they get here?

"A day, maybe less," she ground out.

Bella's previous emotions began to twist into anger unlike anything I'd ever felt before - even during my days with Maria. She was shining brightly - as brightly as she'd been when we bonded, but it held the same malice and danger as it had when she'd confronted Emmett. The hair coiffed on top of her head was swaying, and she was shaking. I never thought I'd live to see the literal embodiment of incandescent rage, but I was staring at it now. I didn't think I'd ever seen anything so beautiful in my life.

"You stupid fucking bitch," she whispered. "You have no idea what you've done. Do you have any idea what I am?"

"A fairy, they told me. That's how you blocked me," Alice sobbed. I wasn't feeding her Bella's terror anymore - this was all her own.

"That's right. And did they tell you exactly what I'm capable of?"

"They said...you had a mental shield. And you could tell when people were lying...and use fairy dust, but not to worry because it's limited."

"It is, however," Bella's face twisted into a cruel smile, "they didn't know the full extent of what I can do. You, however, are about to find out. Didn't you ever watch _Labyrinth_ , Alice? Fairies bite."

She swiped her thumb across her forefinger in a familiar gesture, leaned over, and lit Alice's hair on fire. Then, she pulled back with a sadistic grin to watch the effects. After a minute of seemingly enjoying Alice's screams, she looked to me. "It seems I'm stealing your thunder again, my love. Would you like me to stop so you can finish the job?"

"Hell, no!" I said. I wasn't the type of man to have a problem with my woman fightin' for me. This little display happenin' right here might be one of the hottest things I'd ever seen. I picked up one of the chunks from Peter's pile. "I think you might be headin' for the finish line a little fast, though," I told her, nodding towards Alice, whose hair was now almost gone. If the flame spread to her venom it would all be over, too quickly in my opinion.

Bella nodded and waved a hand to put it out. _Didn't know she could do that_ , I thought. That could wait til later, though. She beckoned, and I tossed her the piece. It looked like it might be an elbow. She leaned down, holding it in front of Alice's face, and lit it on fire, dropping it to the ground.

Several more pieces were burned this way; I tossed them to Bella and she'd light them and let Alice watch them burn. Finally, when about half the pile was left, Bella moved Alice so she could see the rest, and lit them all on fire together. When Alice was finished screaming, Bella spoke again, "I suppose it'd be a mercy to actually kill you, now."

"Please," Alice plead.

Bella walked to me and placed a hand on my arm, looking up. I nodded at her, and she smiled softly before lifting herself to kiss me. Then, she walked past me toward the house.

"You don't deserve my mercy, Alice. Fortunately for you, your contingency plans have left me with no choice," I told her. Then, I lifted what remained of her body and threw her into the fire.

I didn't stay to watch the smoke before following Bella into the house.

* * *

"You all need to decide what you're doing, now," Bella was saying when I walked in. "They won't go after you. They want me."

"This is bullshit, Bella," Charlotte argued. "You can't just send us away when shit gets tough."

"Jasper and I are leaving, too. We're just going to be going somewhere else. We have a better chance of throwing them off if we split up."

"You're both right," I said. "We leave separately, and meet up in a few days. We'll decide where on the way - we're harder to track if we don't know where we're goin'. Charlotte, I want you diggin' through those notes to see if we can cloak ourselves somehow. Rose, Em, thanks for the support and all but I'm afraid we don't have time for a farewell party."

I turned to Esme, "You have some decisions to make, you've run out of time to make them."

Esme took a breath and stood up, "I already have. If you're willing, Bella, I'd like you to do to me what you did to Carlisle."

I felt varying levels of surprise from everyone in the room.

"Are you certain, Esme? There's no changing your mind about this," Bella warned.

"I am. I...didn't have the best human life. It seems most of my vampire life has been spent in a farce. I don't even know if my mate was true. I think I would very much like to forget all of that and start over with a clean slate. I know it's a lot to ask of you."

I felt her certainty and determination and forwarded the feelings to Bella, who sighed.

"If it's really what you want, I'll help you. We need to do it now, though. There's no time to waste."

"Get your shit together and go now," I directed Peter. "Bella and I will head out as soon as things are done here."

Esme said her goodbyes to everyone quickly and quietly, and surprised me when she hugged me and whispered, "I'm so sorry I failed you. Take care of Bella, she's special." I could only nod at her in response. There was nothing else to say.

While Bella performed her procedure, I packed our things to travel: laptops, clothes, her dust, her current journal, our thumb drive full of songs for each other, and some random basic toiletries. By the time I was done and wandered back out, Esme was asleep and there was a deep sadness radiating from Rose and Emmett. I understood it; in the span of two days, their entire coven had been destroyed.

"Do we need to worry about you two?" I asked. I knew it was perhaps a little harsh, but I didn't have time to play therapist.

"No," Rose said. "It's just, we don't really know where we belong now."

"You belong with us," Bella said. "With the Whitlock coven. Go handle getting Esme and Carlisle settled. Esme will wake much sooner than he does. Tie up the shit you need to to dissolve the Cullen Coven. We'll let you know when it's safe to come back, and from there you'll be welcome whenever you want."

They looked to me for confirmation. "She's right. Go do what you need to do. You always have a place here." I didn't know when this became a coven and I became its leader, but it didn't bother me any.

They gave us their thanks and left shortly thereafter.

I did a final sweep around the place to make sure I hadn't missed anything of import. I noted gladly that Charlotte had taken the notes and research computer with her. Bella, however, came out holding my guitar.

"We aren't leaving this," she said.

"It's a piece of shit learner, Bella. It'll just take up space. I'll get another one."

"No, this is the guitar you used to tell me you loved me. We're fucking keeping it. End of discussion," she said, throwing it in the backseat of the cab with the rest of the bags. "You'd think you wouldn't need to tell an empath these things," she griped.

"You're acting like we're never coming back to this house," I said. "It'll still be here when this is all over."

"Just humor me, J," she said with something in her voice I couldn't quite grasp. Her emotional signature was resigned, sad, annoyed, angry. She didn't want to leave this house, and she was pissed she was being forced.

"So where to, darlin'?" I changed the subject.

"We need to go south. To the house in Jacksonville. There's something there I need."

"South it is, then. Mind if I ask what we're retrievin'?"

"Something Ruby left," she answered shortly. Her emotions muted some, and I didn't like it.

"Bella, darlin', don't close yourself off to me. I know it's been a rollercoaster few days, but I'm not goin' anywhere. We're in this together. Don't leave me in the dark."

She closed her eyes for a minute, and then I felt her open back up. She didn't apologize - she very rarely did, something I admired about her - but she sent me a little hint of regret that I took to mean something along the same lines.

"I need a necklace Ruby gave to me. I left it in Jacksonville when I took off - I just forgot about it. She never told me what it did, just that I'd know what to do and when I needed it. I need it now."

"Okay," I said quietly.

"This is hard for me, Jasper. I knew we'd have to deal with those pricks eventually, but not like this and not so soon. I don't like that I've put you in danger."

"Do you mean the Cullens, or the witches?"

"Both," she answered honestly. "You got a glimpse of the worst of me back there. I can't say it won't come out again."

"I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you'll have to do a lot better than that to run me off. That was hot as hell. Not for every day, mind, but if the situation suits…" I shrugged.

"I know that, you know. I know it, and yet sometimes still can't quite believe it."

I understood exactly what she meant. "It's still fresh. We haven't had time to let things settle. We haven't had time for a lot of things."

"A lot of things, huh?" she smirked, and I felt the lust rise in her again.

"You bet your sweet ass," I told her, sending back my own.

She laughed, but changed the subject. "I need to sleep, J. I depleted a lot of energy today. I think if I do it now, I should be good again by the time we make it to the house."

I nodded, and she punched the address into my phone's GPS. "Help me?" she asked when she finished. I covered her in a blanket of comfort, lethargy, and love in response. While she slept, I drove.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:**

**So, as a heads up, there's a lemon in this chapter. _If that's not your thing, stop reading after the shower - or before it, if you really want - and pick up again at the paragraph that begins with "Eventually"_**

**That being covered,** **I've never actually written a lemon before, so, if it sucks feel free to critique - constructively. I won't be offended.**

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke to the truck stopping, but came fully awake when I felt Jasper's hand on my cheek. "We're here, darlin'."

I groaned a little and stretched. Even having the bench seat to stretch across and Jasper's legs for a pillow, sleeping in the truck had not been very comfortable. I felt something on his leg against the top of my head and froze, looking up at him.

He chuckled a little and quirked a brow. "Might wanna be careful which way you squirm."

It occurred to me then that this was the first time Jasper and I had been alone, really alone, since we'd realized we were mates. The thought sent a ripple of anticipation through me, but I wasn't sure we'd have the time. Jacksonville was only five hours from Atlanta, and depending how close Coen was when we left, we might not have any time at all. It wasn't something I wanted to rush.

"Maybe not," I smirked up at him. Even if we couldn't take the chance, flirting was fun. For now.

He slid out of the truck and offered me a hand. I took it, hopping down, and held on as I led him to the door. I grabbed a key I'd left hidden under a loose paver and let us into the house. I noted it was dark; I had no idea what time it was. If we stayed too long here, we might be trapped inside for the day. It was Florida, after all. There'd be no hiding Jasper in the sunlight, and I wouldn't take the risk of exposing him on top of everything else we had going on.

I flipped some lights on and looked around. Everything was more or less how I'd left it. It was obvious someone had been here, but I had used some of the money left to me to ensure this house, and Charlie's, would be looked after.

"What's that?" Jasper asked, nodding toward the counter. There were three wrapped packages and a couple of envelopes. One for me, and one for Jasper, both in Ruby's handwriting. I couldn't find it in me to be surprised; she'd shown up out of nowhere and left much the same way. I'd thought many times over the last few years that there was more to her than she let on.

"For you," I told him, handing him his letter before I ripped into my own.

_My dearest Bella,_

_I know that you have questions for me, but I'm afraid the time has not yet come when I can answer them. There are, however, some things that I can tell you now._

_First, Alice. While she wasn't lying (as you know), she_ _was_ _mislead about a few things, and she did not tell you everything she could have. Be careful about letting your temper get away from you, darling. She has alerted the Volturi that there is a human who knows the secret. It will take them some time to suss you out, but they will come to check up on this, since they can no longer contact Carlisle._

_Next, the witches; They cannot trace you via magic, but they can and will through conventional means. Do not worry, my dear. You will have what warning you need. Trust yourself. Trust Jasper. Trust Peter and Charlotte._

_About Charlotte: Her potential is locked away with her human memories. Find a way to unlock them. I've left a gift for her that may help with that._

_I know you would fight me on this if I were there, but you need to go back to Forks. The tribe knows more than they told, and they have answers you will need._

_Lastly, there's no need to rush your time here. I've taken steps to ensure it won't be found easily, so you can have a small window of respite. You'll need it. I know there are things that seem more pressing, darling, but it is just as important - crucial, even - to solidify your bond with your mate. Don't keep putting it off. The bond is physical as well as emotional, and you must satisfy both aspects to gain its full potential. You'll find food for yourself in the kitchen, and bags for Jasper in the freezer._

_I'm so proud of you, my heart. Take care of Jasper, and let him take care of you. I'll see you soon._

_All my love,_

_Ruby_

I read the letter over and over again, searching. How did she possibly know all this? There was no date on this letter - how long had it been here? What the crap did she mean about our bond? It had only been three freaking days. Some couples waited a lot longer than that. Well, okay, human couples. Not vampires couples. But still, I never thought Ruby'd be all for me getting laid. And what the hell did she mean she'd see me soon? There were no answers I could see beside exactly what she gave. Finally, I looked up to find Jasper watching me with a small smile on his face.

"What did she say to you?" I asked him.

"She gave me some information she said I'll need," he said. "She loves you very much."

"She does, and you're trying to change the subject."

He sighed. "She told me some things about your change, and not to worry. She also told me I need to make sure you go back to Forks, among other things. What did she tell you?"

I sighed. It seemed she was really adamant about Forks. "To go to Forks. And that the Volturi are coming, and the witches, but we'll know when they do. She said to trust you."

"Do you not?" he asked seriously.

"Of course I trust you, it's just that…" I trailed. How to explain this? I tried again, "It's like I said in the truck, J. This is hard for me. I don't like that all this is happening, and you're caught in the middle. On top of that, in the past my experiences with love haven't been the best. And I know, I know that isn't going to be the case this time. There's no doubt in me about you. None. There's just these habits I have to protect myself, and they're persistent. That's all."

"Habits like shutting down and hiding how you feel," he offered. I nodded.

He shook his head, "If I have to remind you every time that happens that I'm never goin' anywhere but where you lead, then I will. We'll figure it out together, like everything else."

I sent him all the love I had for him in response. There wasn't really anything to say to that. 'I know'? 'Thank you'? No. Besides, he seemed to appreciate it when I communicated with my emotions, anyway. He really did hate it when I put my shield up against him.

As I looked at him, Ruby's words came back to me. Solidify the bond, huh? I didn't know how it could get much more solid than this, but I knew better than to discount her words. I wanted him, I wanted all of him, and he was mine. Now that I knew we had the time, there was no reason not to have him.

"I'm going to take a shower," I announced, walking back toward my bedroom. When he wasn't there by the time I stepped into the shower, I called, "Are you coming?"

He was at the door in an instant with a smirk on his face. "You sure about this, sweetheart?"

I tossed him my washcloth. "Get your ass in here, Major."

A second later, he stepped in behind me. "Yes, ma'am," he said, low in my ear, and I shivered. I turned to face him, and he brought a hand to my face before kissing me, reverently and full of promises. Feeling my response, he kissed my nose and said, "Our first time is not gonna be in a shower stall, darlin'. But there are other things we can do."

He turned me gently and pulled me back against his chest, allowing the water to run over my hair before he gently pulled it apart with his fingers to let it saturate. He picked up the shampoo, dispensing some into his palm before working it through. His hands worked gently, lovingly, and I felt the tension from the past couple days wash away down the drain with the last of the suds. I picked up the bottle, as he finished, and did the same for him, working to pour every ounce of care I had for this man into my fingers as I worked the soap through his curls and kept them from tangling as it was washed away.

When our hair was clean, he picked up the washcloth I'd thrown at him earlier and set to work washing the rest of me. As he worked the soaped cloth across my skin, he took the time to trace each tattoo - real or not - and kiss every scar. Working across my back first, he laughed when he saw the dust tattoo running under my right cheek that bore his name. "I almost wish this was permanent," he said, tracing it with his tongue before moving on. It sent a thrill through me unlike anything I'd felt before. "Patience, sweetheart. I'm not finished here yet." By the time he was done, I had never felt so completely and thoroughly cherished and loved in all my life.

I took the cloth from his hand, and, when he hesitated, told him "Let me." As I washed him, with the same slow, attentive pace he'd shown me, I noticed his scars. I'd seen the ones on his arms before, but his entire body was covered - all the way to his feet. At first, he was tense, but slowly, as I traced the many bite marks with my fingertips, and sometimes my tongue, he relaxed. This, I was glad for; he deserved to feel like he'd made me feel. He deserved to know and feel that he was the single most important thing in the world to someone. To me. His scars only made me love him more - a physical representation of everything he'd been through to become the man he was now.

When we had finally finished, we dried each other off in much the same way as we'd washed each other clean. Then, he whisked us toward the bed, landing on top of me and wasting no time at all. He kissed me deeply, urgently, but still full of love, and I was lost in it. If this was what a kiss did to me, I didn't know if I'd survive the rest. He pulled back with a smirk on his face, "Oh sweetheart, I'm just gettin' started. This is your last chance to change your mind," he offered, raising his eyebrow knowingly.

Yeah, no. Fuck that. I grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his mouth back down to mine - well, he let himself be yanked - and he chuckled against my lips. Instead, his hands began to move slowly up and down my sides, and I could swear he was feeding me extra lust, because hands alone just could not possibly feel that good. He hadn't even gotten to the good parts yet.

"Stop that," I said. "No cheating."

He grinned wickedly, "Oh honey, this ain't cheatin'. If you'd like to see cheatin', that can be arranged."

"Maybe later," I said seriously. Right now, this time, I just wanted him. No powers, no gifts.

He nodded and went back to what he'd been doing, moving his hands across my body slowly, kissing and licking his way up and down my neck and chest. Every touch left a trail of tingles and fire, and I needed more. I reached down and wrapped a hand around him, pleased to find he was as affected as I was. "What did I say about patience?" he asked me. "I have plans here, woman."

"Fuck that," I said.

"Hmm." He moved his hand between my thighs, his fingers finding their target quickly. I arched and moaned. "You sure about that?" He slipped them inside me and began to pump, slowly.

"Yes! No! Goddamnit, Jasper!" It made no sense, but it was all I could get out. Everything was swirling, building, and I couldn't think anymore.

I felt him shift and move away, but his fingers kept moving, and before I could register the loss of his body enough to speak, his mouth was there too. I let out an involuntary moan, my hands found themselves wound in his hair tightly, and I felt my hips begin to move as I spiraled, closer and farther, my body arched and my head thrown back as far as my neck would allow.

He was relentless, licking and sucking, his fingers moving, and just when I thought I would die from the delicious pressure of it all, he lightly pinched my clit between his lips, and I went hurtling over the edge.

As I came down and regained my breath, Jasper was laying kisses across my inner thighs. "See? Plans. I thought Ruby told you to trust me."

"Smug bastard." I threw a pillow at him, and he laughed.

He crawled his way back up my body as we spoke, dropping more kisses as he went. "Perhaps, but you don't seem to mind it."

"Not this time, no," I allowed.

"So, who was it?" he asked with a hint of something in his voice. He shifted a little, placing himself between my legs, his length laid out across the flesh above where I so desperately wanted it.

"Me," I answered, knowing what he was referring to. He just stared, so I explained, "Well, my vibrator."

"I've never been so jealous of an inanimate object. So have you…?"

"No."

"Hmm," he responded.

"Hmm?" I questioned. "Sweet lord, Jasper, are you ever going to -" I was cut off when he drew back and began rubbing his head along my folds. I moved my legs up in response, wrapping them around him and squeezing, trying to draw him closer.

"So impatient," he said without letting up. "What's the rush? I don't see a fire."

I groaned in response. "Please," I breathed out. "I need you."

He finally entered me then, slowly, teasingly, moving backward a few times before finally stopping, buried deep with in me. "Fuck," he muttered. "Bella, I…" He didn't have to finish the sentence; I understood perfectly. As he filled me, something else had clicked into place, our binary star collapsing and joining into one single brilliant sun that burned everything else away. We stayed like that, adjusting to all the new sensations - physical and emotional, for a while. I felt like I was drowning in him, and it would not bother me any to die right now, like this.

Until he started moving. Slowly at first, building in speed just slightly with each thrust, until he found a pace that was at once too fast and agonizingly slow; driving in deeply, only to withdraw slowly enough that I felt every inch of him caress me. He never used his hands, instead angling himself so that he just barely brushed my clit with each stroke, and it was the sweetest torture I'd ever known. I moaned and writhed, clawing at him, begging nonverbally for him to give in, give me release, but he never did. His eyes never left mine, as if he wasn't an empath and his eyes were the only way he could convey everything he felt as he moved.

The intensity of it all was too much, but, gods above and below, I wanted more. I begged for release even as I hoped this would never end; at some point I lost all idea of what was coming out of my mouth, only knowing it was loud and sometimes included his name. Everything began to coalesce and build, and Jasper seemed to notice as he increased in speed and force just slightly, spurring it onward until the only thing anchoring me to the earth were his darkened amber eyes piercing mine, daring me to look away and pleading with me not to. I felt my muscles begin to twitch, and I begged for more, over and over until my entire body was tingling and humming. Finally, I reached my peak, coming hard and slow as he kept his pace, drawing it out until I was completely spent. A few short, swift thrusts later, his release followed mine. He barely managed to keep himself from collapsing on top of me, using his elbows to prop himself up.

He buried his face in my shoulder for a long minute, and I leaned my face against his, finding his cool temperature refreshing against my flushed skin.

Eventually, he pulled out of me, and the loss I felt was quickly replaced by his arms around me as he laid beside me, facing me.

"Bella…" he began.

"I know." And I did. As much as our world had shifted a few days ago when he sang to me, what had just occurred was just as big a shift. Something in our bond had cemented and changed, and it felt different. Stronger, more consuming. I didn't know if I had it in me to be away from him now.

He held me tighter, pulling me closer to him, until our bodies were aligned. "Bella," he said again, breathing it out almost like a prayer. There was no response. We both felt it, humming and vibrating between us, almost overwhelming. I briefly wondered why Ruby had considered rendering us useless to the outside world so important, but this wasn't the time to voice any of my snark. So, I kissed him instead.

We didn't leave the bedroom for days, the time split between exploring each other's bodies and just laying together in our bubble. Hours were spent just staring at each other, sometimes in awe, sometimes other things. Eventually, slowly, we started to get used to the new bond between us, and it was easier to do things alone. Small things, like going to grab something from the fridge. But still things.

On the fourth or fifth day of our bubble, both our phones started to ring. We ignored it at first, but after a while they just rang over and over, nonstop. Finally, we looked at each other. "Peter," we said together, and laughed. It wasn't unlikely that he had his phone and another side by side, just hitting buttons back and forth to ensure our phones were constantly ringing.

Jasper answered his phone, "What?"

"Oh, so you _are_ alive," Peter griped. "We thought maybe the witches got you."

"You knew damn well they didn't. We were busy."

"Yeah, about time, too. Look, we need to know where to go."

"Forks," I answered, sensing Jasper's question before he'd even glanced to ask it. "We might as well get it over with."

"You heard the lady," Jasper said.

"When can we expect you?"

"When we're ready," Jasper growled.

"Look man, I get it. My Char and I took months. But we don't have the luxury, so I gotta pull a timeframe out of you now. Otherwise, we might never see you again."

"A week," he growled out. "We will meet you there in a week." And then he hung up the phone and looked at me.

"Bubble time is over, isn't it?" I asked.

"Not if we fly. Then we can have a few more days," he grinned.

"Hmm, I knew I liked you for a reason…"

We emerged again four days later, when Rose called with an update on Carlisle and Esme. It seemed their bond had been stronger than we'd all thought - they were together again already. Apparently, the Denali coven kept trying to remind them both of who they'd been, and they'd decided it was bullshit. Carlisle had retained his control over his bloodlust, but it turned out he was a bit of a thrill-seeker now. Esme, too. She'd thrown out her entire wardrobe, declaring they were "mom clothes." When they'd tried to tell her why, she'd told them if that was the case she hoped she never got her memories back. It sounded to me like they were both happier and having more fun. I hoped they'd do better this time around. They both deserved more than being eternal parents to a set of vampires around the same age as themselves. Where was the fun in that?

As we gathered our things to leave, I took care to grab the necklace we had come for. There was something in it; a strange energy I'd never noticed before. I stuffed it in my travel bag along with the gifts Ruby had left for us - we'd managed to forget all about them until our final sweep of the house before we left. We could open them when we arrived in Forks.

In the car, I decided it was time for another change in my appearance. I felt different now, after all, and there was no reason to keep the outward appearance of my attitude. It wouldn't serve me now, not at the airport and not with the wolves. As my hair returned to its former color and length - with the familiar colored highlights, of course - Jasper looked a little upset. "Don't worry, it's still there. For now," I reassured him.

Most of the people we interacted with throughout the trip seemed to assume we were newlyweds, which, I thought, was not really very far from the truth. There were a few women who decided to try their luck with Jasper, but - to my great amusement and their extreme disappointment - he didn't even notice them.

Peter and Charlotte were about a minute behind us when we finally pulled in at Charlie's old house, but I barely noticed them. This was the first time I'd been back to it since I'd walked into the macabre scene of their brutal murders. While I had known I'd need to face it eventually, it was with no small amount of trepidation that I approached the door. Jasper took the keys from my hands in understanding, opening the door for me and sending me waves of calm as I walked inside.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:**

 

_**I want to take a minute to thank everyone who's reading and sticking with this story. When I posted it, I figured maybe like 5 people would read it. I hope I manage not to disappoint you all.** _

**_This is a super long chapter, and chock full of information._ **

* * *

 

**JPOV**

I walked into the house behind Bella, keeping a steadying hand on her back. She stopped short in the entryway and took in a sharp breath. I felt her surprise and confusion, but not like I normally would. This felt almost as if it were my own, and it unsettled me a little. I couldn't dwell on the topic while Bella felt like that, though.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"It's…" she sighed, walking forward into the living room and coming to a stop in front of the fireplace. She reached out to touch a picture of herself and Charlie that was central on the mantle. "It's the same. I don't know who did this, or how they got the blood off everything, but it's all exactly the same."

"If that's the case, I'm sure I'd like to know, too, but we haven't had many happy surprises recently. Perhaps it's best to just take the win?"

She turned to me and smiled sadly. "You're right."

Peter and Charlotte came in then, with all the bags from both vehicles. "These the new digs, then? Where should we put this stuff?"

Bella directed them to take Charlie's room, saying it'd be too painful for her to stay in there, and we'd take her own room. I took our things from Peter and went to put them away when Bella shook her head - she wasn't ready to go up just yet. Not having been in here before and not wanting to disturb what was left, I set our things on the bed and turned to leave when I noticed the packages on top of the bag Bella had carried on the plane. I couldn't believe we'd forgotten about them. Curious, I grabbed them as I headed back downstairs. With the way Bella was feeling, a gift from Ruby right now would likely be most welcome.

She smiled when she saw me come down the stairs, and I returned it. I understood completely. It was hard to be away from her, even by a few feet. Hell, it was taking everything in me right now to not grab her and head to the bedroom for a few decades. Her smile turned to a smirk, as if she could tell exactly what I was thinking.

"Whatcha got there?"

"Ruby's packages. I thought now would be a good time," I explained. We both knew the exchange was more for the benefit of the others in the house than each other. Most of the time we didn't need to speak. Bella was especially good at communicating through her emotions to me, and we knew each other well enough to anticipate most of the rest.

I handed Charlotte the one marked for her and sat next to Bella, who urged Charlotte to go first. I think we were all curious as to just what Ruby had set aside from her. From her letters to Bella and I, it was clear she knew a lot more than she was telling. Just who the hell was she? Not human, that much was clear. Powerful, obviously, which made it a really good thing she was on Bella's side. If she was that powerful though, why couldn't she clear up these messes for Bella on her own? How could she know what she knew and yet be unable to tell us? It didn't make sense to me, and I didn't like it.

In her letter to me, she'd told me to stop worrying about what would happen when I changed Bella - and I _would_ be the one to do it, she assured me. The fact had helped calm me a little, since I knew her blood wouldn't be an issue for me and, if I was honest, the vampire instincts in me were pleased to learn it'd be my venom in her for eternity. She'd said the time was coming soon, that it would be different to what I'd experienced previously, and that it would all be fine. Then, she'd apologized for being cryptic, saying that it was necessary for the time being. How could she know enough about me to make such an apology? It didn't sit well with me at all, but I chose to trust her words - because Bella did.

I was roused from my musings about it all when I felt Charlotte's stark shock. I didn't have the chance to ask before she spoke, though.

"What in the hell? How did she get these? Why would she give them to me now?"

"What is it, Char?"

She didn't answer, just held open a bag, not unlike my Bella's bag of horrors. It was full of fairy lights, perhaps seven or eight in differing colors and glowing to various degrees, except one that was bright white. "These are the exact lights from my memory," she explained.

"What do they do?" Peter asked, turning his head to get a better look.

"There's a note," she realized. She read it quickly and then went silent, staring into the bag in her hand after she handed the note to Bella. I read it with her.

_My sweet Charlotte,_

_These have been in my possession for many years, but rightfully they belong to you._

_I know you've been working with Bella to make them, but have been having trouble. While it is unsafe for me to write more about them in this letter, you will find more information about them and other things in the journals I've left for Bella. Follow that trail where it leads._

_Until we meet,_

_Ruby_

Immediately when she finished, Bella tore into the package in her hands, revealing two more journals. She flipped the first one open.

"These are journals from the Swan side," she said in awe, flipping through the pages. "Magic journals. Like a grimoire."

The two women shared a grin, and I knew it was unlikely I'd get any alone time with Bella for at least the next few days.

"What's in the last one?" Peter asked. Bella nodded to me, so I opened the package. Inside was a set of rings; four feminine and four obviously meant for a male to wear. They were each different from the others, but done with designs that looked timeless and unified; white metal bands with deep violet stones and a subtle "W" designed into each one. They looked worn-in, but not worn-down - the shine was dulled just enough that they wouldn't necessarily always attract attention. Again, there was a note.

_These are just for fun - I couldn't help myself. One for each of your coven. Don't worry, they won't need resizing. They've been enchanted to withstand vampire strength, and to never age._

"There are too many," I observed.

"Oh, I don't think so, Major," Peter disagreed, but he didn't elaborate. The fucker.

Bella immediately plucked out a ring she liked, and held it out to me to put on for her. I did so gently, kissing her hand when I was done before mimicking her action. Somehow it felt final and also right, like these rings meant more than others we might exchange. I'd have to talk to her about that at some point - it would be a flimsy gesture in light of what we already had and were to each other, but if she wanted a wedding I'd make sure she had one.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Peter and Charlotte exchange their rings in much the same way.

A few hours later, we were all huddled in the living room around the new journals. I'd been dead serious about paying more attention to what Bella was doing - my not knowing could put us in more danger. Peter seemed to share that opinion, and we observed while the girls worked, chatting about notes and passages while Charlotte digitized it all.

It turned out, there was a lot more to lights than they'd known previously. While they were powerful little bits of magic, they only worked for their makers and those they gave permission to. If they were stolen or forcibly taken, the magic in them would lash out and rebel until they were returned. If broken, the effect was unpredictable: the dust inside would cease working harmoniously and react. Depending on the dusts used and the intended effect, it could be quite dangerous. There were more than a few recipes.

"Char, listen to this," Bella called, pointing to a passage. She'd done that a lot over the past couple hours. "Lights can be made to glow with the addition of memories suspended in blank dust," she read aloud.

"What? Let me see that," she responded in shock, her eyes going over the passage at vampire speed. She blinked and re-read it a few times. "Holy shitsnacks," she finally said.

"Care to clue us in?" Peter asked.

"The glowing lights hold memories. The more powerful the memories, the stronger the glow. It can change the effect of the dust inside, too."

"This must be what Ruby meant. She said her gift might help you, and told you to follow the trail. I'd bet my left asscheek there's a way to access the memories stored inside those lights you have," Bella concluded.

"Just the left cheek?" Peter questioned.

"J is fond of the right," she defended. I just shrugged. It was true, as long as she kept that dust tattoo.

"Can we stop commenting on which of Bella's asscheeks Jasper prefers and get back on point here?" Charlotte said with exasperation. "Ya'll just dropped a bombshell on me, I need a minute before the sleazy jokes start in again."

Bella tossed her the journal. "Here, why don't you read ahead some and see if you can find out more? I need my necklace, we're about to have some visitors." At our questioning looks, she just shrugged and tapped her head. "I should have figured they'd be watching the house. I'm almost surprised it took them this long." And then she flitted her way upstairs.

As she hit the bottom of the stairs on her way back down, there was an insistent knock at the door. "I've got it," she said, but she grabbed my hand on her way over, and I followed her lead. When she opened it, three russet-skinned men stood on the doorstep.

"Jacob," she greeted. I tensed at the name. "Sam, Quil."

"Of course you'd come back with bloodsuckers in tow. Wasn't this one a Cullen?" I felt his emotions and found anger and annoyance rippling above an undercurrent of sadness and nostalgia. This must be Jacob.

"Was. The Cullens are gone," she offered, but no more than that. "Why are you here, Jacob? You and the tribe made it abundantly clear you don't give a shit about me."

"You brought bloodsuckers," he repeated. "That's our business." But that wasn't the reason he was here, judging by the defiance he felt.

"Funny, it wasn't before," she challenged. I noticed then that based on her emotions she should be glowing by now, but she wasn't. Instead, that necklace seemed to be a little shinier. Yet another of Ruby's gifts to get to the bottom of. Could a vampire get a headache?

I felt his shot of regret, but it changed nothing as far as I was concerned. I was letting her handle this because she needed to, but one wrong move and the doggies here would learn just how far out of their league they actually were.

He decided to change the subject, "The Elders want to see you. All of you."

She cocked a brow. "You're going to allow vampires on the reservation?"

"Special circumstance," he growled. He wasn't happy about it. Interesting. "They insisted. We expect them to live up to the Elders' trust."

She narrowed her eyes at him as I searched his emotions, but neither of us had found any hint of deceit. I sighed inwardly, wishing I could just grab Bella and go back to Jacksonville for a few hundred years. Of course, we couldn't even settle in for a fucking day before shit came crashing down on us.

I sent her my acceptance silently.

"Fine," she said shortly. "When?"

"Tonight. Bonfire on the beach at six. You are to stay away from the residential areas. The access to our land does not extend past tonight. We will honor Carlisle's treaty otherwise, unless you do not."

"Fine," she repeated. "See you then. Now, if you please, get the fuck off my porch." And then she slammed the door in their faces. I grinned.

"So, party with the wolves tonight?" Peter called. "Should we bring them some moonshine? Peace offering?"

"We're not bringing them shit," Bella almost growled. "The only reason I'm even fucking entertaining this shit is because of Ruby. What they know, it better be damn good. And she is going to owe me one hell of an explanation."

I couldn't help but agree with that sentiment. As much as she'd helped us, it seemed like her presence brought with it a whole fucking store aisle's worth of cans of worms. Witches and the fucking Volturi weren't enough, she had to throw us to the wolves, too. Hell, if she'd never left Bella to begin with, she'd never have gone looking for those assholes. It was a stretch, sure, but I was pissed. My mate was pissed. And then, something clicked.

The bond. Emotional and physical, Bella had told me. "Bella, put your shield up. All the way up," I asked.

She looked at me oddly. "Okay, it's up. What's this about?"

I could still feel all of her emotions; the anger and irritation with the wolves, curiosity and confusion at my request, and under all of it, the deep love she felt whenever she looked at me. "I can still feel you," I told her. "The bond lets me through your shield."

"Oh, I knew that," she waved a hand. "Actually, it lets me share your gift, where it comes to you. I can feel what you're feeling, all the time."

That was news to me. "And you never mentioned this?"

"You're the empath, I figured you already knew." Oh, that attitude. I loved it even as I hated it. She smirked at my annoyance and graced my cheek with a kiss.

"Anything else my dumb ass has failed to notice?"

"No, not yet. I'm sure there will be. Next time, I'll be sure to clue you in," she said mockingly, but not unkindly.

"What about this necklace, then, darlin'? Gonna tell me about that, too?"

"I don't even know everything about it. The radar says it'll help to hide what I am, but I only got that much when I felt like I should put it on before the wolves got here."

"Don't they already know what you are?"

"They know I attract the supernatural and that once, I got in Billy's face and I glowed. For all they know that was a fluke or a trick of his old eyes. I doubt they know more than that. How could they?"

"So you don't trust their intentions?" I asked, more for confirmation than anything.

"Why the fuck would I? Those assholes let my parents die because I couldn't be of use to them the way they wanted from me - something that wasn't even my fault, by the way. Now they want to play nice? I don't fucking buy it. I don't think we should let them know a single fucking detail more than absolutely necessary. I also don't like that they want you three to come onto their land. It puts you at a disadvantage that I don't like."

"Sweetheart, we'll be fine. You know he wasn't lying when he said they'd honor the treaty."

"And would they still if they knew Carlisle was gone? I get what you're saying, Jasper, but I don't have to like this. As far as I'm concerned they killed my parents just as much as Victoria did." The pain and anger radiating from her at the statement was almost enough to knock us both over, so I did the only thing I could think of to comfort her. I pulled her into my arms and held her close against me, letting her lean on me while she found her calm again.

"I know, Bella. I don't like it either, but there's nothing we can do except to hear them out. After that, if you want, we'll leave and we never have to come to Forks again."

She sighed. "What time is it?"

"Two thirty."

She turned, grabbing my hand and heading for the stairs. I let her lead me without a word. I wasn't really ready to engage in certain activities with her with an audience in the house, but we could hole up in each other for a few hours without all that. It wasn't that I had any shame about it; rather it was just that everything was still so new. I wanted to keep it private. The sounds she made, the feelings I knew I was projecting; those were ours and I wasn't ready to share it yet.

As we laid in her old bed facing each other, I had a bad feeling this wouldn't be happening often until everything was over and done with. It seemed like all the pieces of Bella's past were moving in on us quickly, and I wasn't sure if or how I could protect her. The Volturi were one thing. With Bella's light, they'd be easy enough to take out - most of them relied too heavily on their gifts, as Alice and Edward had done. There were a couple that might actually give me a fight, but I hadn't ever lost yet, and had no reason to believe I would now.

But witches, magic? I didn't know how to even begin to fight that. If they could track Bella by conventional means, they'd find this house soon. Was it wise for us to run again, though? I'd never run away from a fight before Atlanta, and it really didn't sit well with me. Bella was still growing in power; was she strong enough to face them? Could she and Charlotte engineer some kind of dust or light that would protect her?

And then, there was the wolves. Tonight. On their turf. While they hadn't been lying, something about it all just rubbed me wrong. If Bella was right and they didn't know what she was, then what did they know? What was it they knew that she needed to know? If shit went south while we were on their reservation, I didn't know what would happen. I was sure we'd make it out alive, but the possibility of many more scars and permanently lost limbs was also very real. It wasn't a route I wanted to take.

I fucking hated feeling so helpless. Through everything I'd been through in my life, helpless was one thing I'd never been. Foolish, gullible, vulnerable, even, yes. But not helpless. There had never been threats like this to me and mine that I couldn't see a way around. As the realization gripped me, Bella wrapped a leg around mine and pressed herself against me.

"Bella…"

"Don't, J. I can feel you, remember? We need this right now. Me and you." I certainly did feel her need, and it spurred my own. As I heard the door close and Peter's truck start up downstairs,my mouth descended to hers.

It wasn't like Jacksonville. This wasn't about cementing the bond, or expressing love physically. We'd already done that - not that we wouldn't again, but it wasn't what we both needed right now. This was about comforting and distracting each other from the fear and doubt and uncertainty we both felt; the need to feel something else. We both needed to feel in control, but in this situation, we also both knew I was the one that had it. I relinquished it to her physically. After her change, we could fight over it - something I was looking forward to - but for now, I was fine with the control over both our responses that my gift gave me. I shamelessly manipulated us - myself through her - dragging it out almost to the point of pain before I finally let loose everything I'd been reigning in and we both quaked and moaned with powerful, delicious release.

By the time I heard Peter's truck pull back in, we were back downstairs, tangled together on the couch fully clothed, making out like a couple of teenagers.

"We better not have left just for this," Peter said, leaning against the door frame when he walked in. "It is cute as hell, though," he said thoughtfully.

Bella looked at me with regret. "You're right, he really is the worst kind of interrupting bastard."

"Excuse me! I did leave to give you some privacy. It ain't my fault you decided to waste it bein' all chaste and shit."

"Oh, trust me Gramps, we didn't waste it."

"I thought I told you not to call me that!"

"Well, you pissed me off," Bella shrugged.

"Are we gonna get goin' or what?" Charlotte cut in.

Peter grinned. "Yes, let's. The furry fuckers might be _offended_ if we're late."

When we arrived at the beach, there were several fires lit with people sitting around them in circles. None of the pit were large enough to consume a vampire, but there was a quantity that made me nervous. I shared a look with Peter, who nodded thoughtfully. This was clearly by design. A subtle threat on their part. Bella stiffened beside me when she put it together, and I felt her anger flare.

"As if they haven't done enough," she murmured lowly, almost to herself. Then, louder, "Let's get this over with."

She lead us down toward a fire with four figures seated, who I guessed must be the Elders. Without greeting or waiting for invitation, she sat down on an empty log across the fire from them and demanded, "Was this really necessary? All the fire?" I stayed standing, figuring the situation for less than safe and wanting to keep myself ready as possible to move if necessary.

One of the men, who was sitting in a wheelchair, looked at her with sad eyes. His emotions were full of deep sorrow and regret. This was Billy Black. "Despite your assumption, Bella, this is simply the typical setup for a tribal bonfire." No notes of deceit were present, but it didn't make me less on edge. "I will admit it does help to deter vampires while we party, but this was not orchestrated for your benefit."

"We could have met anywhere else," Bella insisted.

"It is tradition," he sighed. "We only relay the histories at bonfires such as this. Can you not understand why?"

I felt recognition from her, but she did not acknowledge it to him. "Fuck your traditions, Billy. You as good as stole all of mine from me."

"The vampire -" he began.

"No. Absolutely not. You do not get to pin this blame on the vampire. It is your duty to protect humans, and you made a choice. The choice to abandon me to die, and it is the result of that choice that my parents are dead. You are just as responsible as she is."

She leaned forward and continued in a quiet, deadly voice, "I am not here to forgive you, or to hear what flimsy excuses you tell yourself so you can sleep at night. I am here because I was informed you have information I need. You will tell me, and then we are leaving. And you _will_ let us leave. You will _not_ follow us. Your wolf pack is not welcome on my property and if they show up unannounced again, they will be forcibly removed."

Her words seemed to have found their mark, because Billy looked and felt for all the world as though he'd just been slapped.

Another elder, a woman, spoke up when he had been silent for a moment too long. "Such insolence from you, I never would have expected, Bella. Charlie would be ashamed. You should be grateful we are willing to tell you anything at all."

Bella cocked her head. "Oh really, Sue? Something makes me believe you are not aware of all the facts of this little situation, which makes sense considering it was Harry in your seat the time. My condolences for your loss, by the way - that _is_ what you say to someone who has lost a loved one, in case you didn't know that either. Pardon me for the presumption, but Charlie was my father, and I do believe I knew him well. No, what Charlie would be ashamed of here, is the way in which people he thought were his friends treated his daughter."

Sue's face resembled Billy's then, and Bella smirked a little maliciously. "Oh, they definitely didn't tell you. Here's the cliffnotes version: scared teenager dating a wolf, goes to see the elders about why she's having such violent emotional swings. They tell her she's got magic, but claim not to know what it is. And then, when said wolf imprints on someone else - they throw her out like garbage, deeming her a danger to the tribe since her magic isn't meant for making more magical wolf babies. And _then,_ when a psychotic vampire bitch shows up in town, the wolves are told not to protect her, or her parents. Said vampire kills her parents, and the wolves blame her. Did I get it all, Billy?"

He was silent, full of shame, but Sue quickly lost the shock and her emotions were full of anger. "Is what she said true? Did the council approve this treatment of her?"

"Yes," a third man answered. "We had no idea the consequences at the time." He felt shame too, but not enough for my liking. I growled.

"That's no excuse!" Sue scolded.

"I was afraid," Billy answered quietly, and all eyes turned to him. "There is one such as her in our histories. Unpredictable, sometimes violent, having vast magic. Like what Quil here sensed in you, Bella. That being was the first imprint, and it is a spell she cast which gave us the ability to shift. When it became clear that was not your purpose, I was afraid, and I gave the orders to leave you alone. I thought you could and would protect yourself."

"I thought it was the spirits. That's what the legend says," Sue said.

"This legend predates that. It is in the histories forbidden to all but the chief of the tribe."

"Well that's real fuckin' useful," Peter commented. Nobody cared to correct the inappropriateness of his timing, because his words were true.

Billy cut in, "If we're all done airing our grievances now, I'd like to share the story with you. Nobody else living has heard it."

Bella glared, but nodded for him to continue, her curiosity finally overriding her her anger, and I finally sat down next to her. Peter and Charlotte took the log to Bella's other side, so that we were still surrounding her in case of any issues, and Billy began to speak.

"Long ago, before the histories of our tribe as we tell them now, there were three nomads. They wandered together for many years, until one had a vision in a dream of a place with high cliffs and evergreens. This place would be easy to defend and the hunting was good, so they would never want for food. When he awoke, he felt a strange sensation in his chest that told him where he should go. So he told his companions and they began their final journey."

"It took them a long time, and when they finally arrived, the man was angry to find the area was already inhabited by a woman. He explained what made him come, that this land was meant for he and his companions, but she laughed him off and told him to go away. This woman infuriated the man and foiled his plans every chance she got. She would scare away the animals he hunted and pick all the berries before he could get there. When he confronted her, she would laugh and mock him.

"One day, she realized that with her games she was starving him, and she brought him a deer she had killed. When she did this, the man experienced a sudden shift, and he realized that this woman was the purpose for his entire life, like the entire world revolved around her. This was the first imprint, and the beginning of the Quileute tribe.

"Over time, the man began to notice things about the woman he had taken for his wife. She was fast and strong and cunning. She did not submit as he thought a woman should, and often would become angry with little or no warning. She refused to be left behind while the men did the hunting, and she often caught more than they did. Then one day, a giant bear wandered over to their small camp while she was gone, and the man found his life in danger, unable to get to his weapons.

"A giant wolf appeared to defend the man and fight the bear. After a long and bloody battle, the wolf was victorious. The man went to check that the bear was really dead, and when he turned back around he found not a wolf, but his wife lying on the ground before him. She was badly injured in the same places the wolf had been struck and bitten by the bear.

"As he nursed her back to health, she confided in him her secret. She was not completely human; the other half of her was made up of magic, so she would not age or die unless she chose. This scared the man, but did not change his love for her, and eventually she showed him all she could do. Her power was vast and strong. She could change her shape into that of any animal, but she preferred the shape of a wolf. She could cast spells and curses and even control the elements, but she did not like to use these abilities. She gave up her immortality to spend one lifetime with the man, as human, and so that is how they lived. She only used her magic in times of utmost need.

"When she became with child, she was surprised. She had not thought such a thing possible, and she became scared and told the man what she had kept from him. There were other beings made of magic, some purer than her, and they might desire to harm her children and her children's children because they would be able to sense the magic, and because mixing with humankind was frowned upon. She asked the man's permission to use magic on them, to hide them and keep them safe, and he agreed. When her children, twins, were born, she cast an enchantment over them to ensure that they would always have her strength when they needed it, and find those who for them would augment and support it, like she had found in the man. This is the source of our ability to transform into wolves."

Billy fell silent then, and we all stared into the dwindling fire with our own thoughts. The implications of his story were pretty big, but I still didn't see what answers there were to be found within it for Bella. The origins of the wolves' shifting ability were certainly interesting, but I couldn't see how that would have been enough for her to have needed to come back to Forks this way.

She seemed to be thinking along the same lines, and spoke up, "There's more."

He nodded and answered, "Yes. She fell ill after casting the spell, and nothing the man knew of could cure it. It is written that she believed the spell she cast had simply taken too much energy from her, and her body could not survive. The man believed she knew of a cure, but refused to tell him or take it. He grieved for her for the rest of his life, and never loved another. His children, twin girls, eventually married the companions he had brought, and it is from them that our tribe is descended."

"Is that everything?" she asked quietly. Her emotions were a whirl, unsettled and impossible to pin down. I thought I caught a flash of fear, and some confusion, but I couldn't understand why.

"Yes," he answered solemnly, and with no trace of deceit or uncertainty.

She stood then, and we all stood with her. "Thank you for telling me. You've given me some things to think about."

As she turned to leave, he spoke again, "It was the least I could do, Bella. I can never apologize enough for my mistake. It is my hope that with understanding, you might be able to let your anger go and find peace."

She rounded on him, her anger spiking again. "Don't try to father me now, Billy. That time has long-since passed. I appreciate the knowledge and we will keep your confidence on the matter, but this changes nothing. Do not try to stop us leaving, do not follow us. Your tribe are not welcome on my property. Don't test me on this. Perhaps this can be a lesson to you so you don't doom some other poor girl to what happened to me."

"Bella," Sue called softly. "Are you sure…?" She tilted her head to our joined hands.

Irritation poured from Bella, and her mouth twisted into a sneer. "I owe you no explanation, Sue, but Jasper is my mate. It's as ironclad as imprinting - more so, I believe - so yes I am sure. Don't attempt to interfere. I am not human - but that, you already knew. You didn't feel any obligation to protect me before, so don't start any misguided attempts to do so now. It will not end well for you."

"Why do you continue to threaten us?" the third man, Quil, I thought, demanded angrily.

"Why do you continue to assume you can tell me how to feel or who to be with?" she shot back. "You sent Jacob to stick his nose into my business long before all this began, and I'm telling you before you try again that I will not stand for it now. You lost the right, all of you, when you abandoned me to Victoria and allowed my parents to die."

There was silence for a long minute, the tribal elders feeling chagrined and chastised, and Bella annoyed and in the mood for a challenge. "If we're done here, Bella, we should go," I told her. I didn't want to see this continue. It could continue in circles for hours, or escalate to disaster for us all, and I didn't like either option overmuch.

"Yes, let's," she said haughtily, though the attitude was not directed at me. True to their word, the wolves left us alone as we made our way back to the truck and went home.

When we arrived, Bella went straight for the liquor and lit a cigarette for herself, thinking furiously as she had been since we left. We all followed suit and left her to work out what she needed to. It was clear she wanted to discuss all this, but as working out where to start.

Twenty minutes later, Peter and Charlotte disappeared, and she did. "J, I'm not...that's not…" she started. Again, her emotions were whirling, so I pushed calm at her to help her get it out. She tried again, "I don't know how to give you that."

"Give me what, Bella?" I had no earthly clue what she was talking about.

"Give up my immortality so I can have children. It's one or the other, you know - never dying, or procreation. You can't have both. If that's what you want, I'll find a way, but I don't know how."

"Bella, I'm a vampire. We can't, anyway."

She shook her head. "No, that's not true. Male vampires can, with a human female, if she has a fae bloodline. I've met one. The mother dies, but it's possible." I felt a shot of sadness, fear, and determination run through her. This had to stop.

"Bella, no. Didn't you hear the rest of the story? That man, he grieved for the rest of his life. I would mourn you for eternity. I don't want that. I don't want a life without you, even if it meant a child might be possible. It's not worth it, unless that's what you want."

"I don't...I never did, no. I never gave it thought, really, before it wasn't possible. But I think I mourned the loss of the option more than the actual realistic possibility," she admitted.

"Then the subject is closed. We have other things to worry about." I kissed her gently and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to my chest. I felt her relief as she sighed and relaxed, resting a hand on my leg.

Peter peeked his head through the door. "You two all good now?"

"Where the fuck did you go?" I asked him.

"Sensed you needed a minute. So?"

"Yeah, we're good," Bella said.

"So, what did we learn from the wolves' legend? I saw both of you looking like the gears in your heads were turning overtime, I assume the radars were sounding?" I asked.

"Well," Peter started, "She was obviously a fae, and that wasn't an imprint. She was his mate. Her enchantment allows her more-human children to find their own, obviously with a different kind of bond. There's no choice involved in theirs, like there is with a true mate bond."

"What do you mean, Peter? We had that big long talk about mating, and you never mentioned this."

He shrugged. "It's obvious, isn't it? Char and I, you and Bella, even Rose and Emmett - since she put him off for so long after his change. The strongest mated pairs fall in love, then realize the rest. The instinctual thing most of our kind mistakes for mating, that's a pale imitation and we all know it. I actually think it might prevent most of us from finding a true bond. Or maybe they just aren't capable of the same type of bond, without the fairy mojo - kinda like the wolves' imprinting."

Well, that was certainly something to ponder on.

"It was mentioned that mixing with humankind was frowned upon, so that jives with what Carlisle said was in the Volturi records," Charlotte offered.

Bella nodded, and added, "The activation of the bloodline when vampires are near kinda meshes with my theory about why mine became so active, too."

"I wonder what the link is, between vampires and the fae, that causes it?" Charlotte mused aloud.

We all turned silent, thinking, but the conversation was halted when we heard a car pull up. Bella stood, furious, and I knew she thought it was the wolves. She got to the door and yanked it open as the footsteps crossed the porch, and I felt her sharp shock.

"Holly," she breathed.

* * *

_Sorry for the cliffhanger - it's usually not my thing, but I wanted to end the chapter, and I wanted to pick up Bella's POV when she sees Holly. Don't kill me, you'll have the next chapter soon enough. Drop me a line for a clue, if you absolutely can't wait._


	21. Chapter 21

 

**BPOV**

I stared at the woman in front of me in disbelief. I'd had no idea they'd find us this soon. No warning she was coming. Maybe they did have a way around the radar, now.

"Bella. I'm alone, don't worry. Can I come in?" I didn't sense a lie from her, so I figured it couldn't hurt. If she wanted to force her way in, she could. I opened the door wider and angled myself to the side to allow her entrance.

I watched her has she looked around, taking in the house, and saw her freeze when her eyes landed on the three vampires sitting in the living room. She shot me a questioning look, and I responded.

"Not to be rude here, Holly, but I think I'm the one that should be asking the questions right now. Anything you have to say you can say in front of them. I'll tell them anyway. And don't worry, they won't eat you. Unless I ask them to."

I closed the door and returned to my seat next to Jasper, telling her, "Drinks are in the kitchen. We have your usual. When you're ready, you can come in here and explain yourself." As I talked, I sent Jasper a dose of curiosity, and he responded by sending me determination, fear, and shock. So Holly was determined, but about what? I did notice the lack of deceit.

It suddenly occurred to me that if Holly had a way around my radar, she might have a way around other things, too. Like my lie detector. Like hiding her emotions. "Holly, not that I want to doubt you - trust me, I'd love it if you actually are here to help - but I know better than to go without insurance on this. Would you mind if we dusted you to make sure?"

"No, not at all. I wouldn't expect anything less." She poured herself a large glass and took a seat in the empty recliner.

"Charlotte?" I wanted Char to do this, to be the one to touch her. She'd broken Lucy's hold over Edward, and I had a feeling she could break anything that might be on Holly, too. We still hadn't talked about her gift at all yet, and I knew she was avoiding it. With everything else going on, for now I'd let her.

I wasn't prepared for what actually happened, though. When Charlotte touched Holly, they both froze and stared at each other like they were both seeing ghosts.

It was Charlotte who gathered herself first, and said "What the hell was that?"

Holly shook her head, "We're family. I don't know how that's possible, though."

Holy fucking shit. Did that mean Charlotte and I were related, too? She shook her head slowly at Holly, but didn't say anything. She couldn't exactly refute the claim when she lacked the human memories to back it all up.

Jasper, however, was not to be deterred. "Can we figure out the family tree later? I, for one, would like to know why she's here unannounced and without warnin' before we go comparin' notes. That shit could go on for days," he finished irritably.

"I'm here to help," she said. "When I found out what they had planned...I couldn't allow it. I know now that I wronged you by helping them, even without knowing. I'm so sorry, Bella. Please, let me make it right," she plead.

"I think you're going to have to start from the beginning, cause I'm a little confused. You helped Coen and Thad try to get into my pants?"

She closed her eyes and looked defeated. "That's why you left? Oh, Bella, that was only part of it."

"Fabulous!" Peter exclaimed, clapping his hands and sitting back in a sarcastic gesture.

I ignored him. "You mean you didn't know? I could have sworn you did, when I left."

"No, I didn't know. Or, not the details, anyway. I knew there was something happening, and that it had to do with you. That's why I wasn't surprised when you bailed."

Jasper growled from beside me, "I think you'd better start making sense, and soon." I placed a calming hand on his arm. I understood his frustration here. Hell, I felt no small amount, myself. But scaring her wasn't going to get us anywhere.

"Holly, this is Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte. Forgive them their frustration, we've had a long day that looks like it's going to get a lot longer."

She smiled faintly and nodded. "If it helps any, I'm about a week ahead of them, I think. I was supposed to be helping, but I threw them off the trail any chance I got. They suck at finding people. They rely too much on the magic, and you block that."

At this, Jasper chuckled a little. "It seems vampires aren't the only ones who rely too heavily on their gifts."

"That doesn't mean you should underestimate them," Holly insisted. "They want Bella, and they'll do whatever they think they need to, to achieve that."

"They can't have her," Peter shot back, as I felt Jasper's arms tighten around me. He was angry and a little scared, and I couldn't blame him. I felt the same.

"Trust me, I don't want them to have her either," Holly said quietly, taking another swig of her drink.

"Why do they want me so badly to begin with? It's not like I can even have kids anymore," I told her.

She looked at me and shook her head. "You really don't know. That's partially my fault," she sighed and leaned forward.

"They want your power, Bella. They know what you are, and they know you're capable of more power than you let on to us. They wanted a child from you, yes, to keep that power going forward for future generations, but that wasn't the main goal."

She reached into her bag and pulled out a heavy grimoire I didn't recognize. "This came from Coen's family; they aren't related to the Swans," she explained as the flipped through the pages. "He'd kill me for taking it, but I doubt he's even realized it's missing yet."

She found the page and set the book down on the table, facing us. "Here," she tapped the page. "This is what they want."

The page was ornately written, but there were notes scattered around it in multiple different types of handwriting. It described a spell designed to absorb the power of another being, complete with warnings about absorbing too much, and ways to split the absorbed power between multiple witches. I stopped reading there. It was just too much to take.

I felt bile rise in my throat and panic gripped me. They wanted to strip my magic and take it for themselves? I was pretty sure at this point, that would effectively kill me. I didn't even know what to say. I didn't think I was strong enough yet to fight them off, if that was what they really wanted from me. I felt Jasper try and calm me through his own horror, and tried to focus on him to bring myself down from my panic.

"Well," Peter said thickly, "That is just plain diabolical. What the fuck would they want that kind of power for, anyway?"

"It'll allow them to cast without rituals," Holly answered. "It's an ability they covet greatly."

"And you don't?" Jasper demanded accusingly.

"I do. I won't lie about it. I'd love to be able to do that. But I wouldn't kill to do it. And, to be honest, I think the limitations are necessary. We'd be too powerful otherwise, it would upset the balance."

Charlotte was still reading the page, however, and spoke in a disgusted tone, "They've tried this on all kinds of creatures, even some humans and other witches. These notes describe which ones work best and give the most power."

Holly sighed and hung her head. "I swear, I had no idea. They never shared it with us."

"Explain to me how you helped them," Jasper ordered firmly.

"I was asked to keep them informed about what we taught Bella, and how she responded to it. I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary. To me, it made sense they'd want to keep tabs - she had right to the information as family, but she wasn't inducted. I just thought they didn't trust her."

He nodded stiffly. He accepted it, but he was pissed. "Tell me, then, how you propose to help Bella now."

She sighed. "I don't know for certain. I wasn't really expecting to find her with a coven of vampires. I was hoping there was something in the journals and notes she had when she left."

Charlotte spoke, "They can't absorb from vampires. You could change her, Jasper."

He looked at me with the question, and I had no answer. We still had no idea what might happen if more venom hit my system.

"That would stop their plan, but it would also piss them off. They wouldn't just let it go."

Jasper sighed. "That's not an option, then. We can't deal with that when our magic weapon over here is a newborn."

I snorted. "I'm hardly a fucking weapon, J. Fire is nice to roast irritating fairy-wannabes with, but I doubt it's going to be as useful against a bunch of witches hell bent on absorbing a vital part of me."

"What about your bag of horrors? That shit you were thinking of throwing at my ex-wife?"

"Last resort," I shook my head. "That one kinda terrifies me."

"You never did tell me what else you have in there," he chastised.

Before I could answer, Holly cut in, "Bag of horrors?"

I looked at her seriously. "A lot has happened since I left you all. I've learned a lot, and I have materials I'm still working on. If you want to help us with that, we'd appreciate it, but I need assurance that you're on my side. Truth dust only goes so far when I know you have ways around some of my abilities. Don't think I didn't notice Joel isn't with you."

She looked stricken. "Joel has been...influenced. I can't tell if it's against his will or not. But whatever you need to do to allow you to feel you can trust me, just do it. I won't fight you. I said I'd help, and I meant it."

Jasper sent me the conviction she felt, and my lie-detector was ringing truth, but I needed more. My suspicion wouldn't die, and I didn't think it was run of the mill paranoia. Something was off, here. My spidey-sense started tingling.

"J, I need your light." He handed it to me without question, and I put it in Holly's hand. The feeling disappeared. She looked at me oddly.

"What is this?"

"Fairy bullshit," I answered. "What are the chances Coen put a spell on you? A trace or some kind of link?"

"Slim, but possible," she said thoughtfully. "I keep myself well-shielded, but if he's been absorbing magic from other beings, I don't know how effective they'd be."

Whatever it was, it had to have been strong if Charlotte's touch hadn't broken it. Then again, we didn't know the details of her ability yet.

"I want you to keep that on you at all times. And I'd like you to submit to being bound to us. It's as much for your protection as ours. We need to be able to trust each other, here."

She nodded.

"You can do that?" Peter asked. "Why didn't you do that to us?"

"We're already tied, Peter Pan. Jasper is my mate, and you and Charlotte's sire. You are my great-great-great-grandfather, and Charlotte's mate. Charlotte is your mate, and I have a feeling, based on her reaction to Holly, that we're going to find another family link there."

"Freaky," he commented. "But why doesn't the familial connection extend to Holly?"

"You're mated to a vampire?" Holly asked. "I mean, it was obvious you were together, but like, actually mated?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Why does everyone seem to question that? And to answer your question, Peter Pan, I think she's just too far away from me on the tree. Either way, let's get on with it."

I rose and went to grab the bag Jasper so lovingly called the bag of horrors. In all honesty, I couldn't blame him. Some of it _was_ pretty horrifying. As I walked back into the room, I drew a vial containing shimmering gold dust out of it.

"This one is called Web. It'll create an unbreakable bond of loyalty so strong, betrayal results in death. It won't change anything for the four of us, except to create a bond between Holly and ourselves."

I instructed them to hold out their hands and tapped a small amount into each one. "This dust has to be self-administered, which the magic takes as being taken willingly. We all need to eat it at the same time."

I counted down, and we took all took the dust. I'd been right about the effect, and Holly wore a look of relief on her face when we were finished.

"You didn't tell me it'd break my coven bond," she said smiling.

"I didn't know," I shrugged. "You don't seem upset about it."

"I'm not. They were misogynistic assholes. I just didn't think there was a way out." She grinned. "You guys better not be fucking boring."

"Hey, bitch! I've got a coven of witches hot on my ass and very likely a coven of vampire royalty not far behind them. We've got nosy self-righteous shapeshifters a couple miles away and the mystery of our own dear Ms. Charlotte Whitlock to solve. If you were looking for boring, you came to the wrong fuckin' house. You should've shown face in Atlanta, you could've watched me torch Alice."

She busted out laughing, "Oh my gods, you did? She was such an annoying twat! 'I've seen!' 'I've seen!'," she mocked. "I wanted to light her designer threads on fire."

"Nope, Bella went for the hair, instead," Peter said proudly.

"You did not! Did you? Oh, shit!" she crowed. We all laughed for a while, and it was really good. Something we all needed.

When we were done, Jasper turned his serious face to me, and I knew I was in a little trouble. "Since you have that bag out here, little darlin' of mine, I think it's time for show and tell. No more avoidin' it." I wanted to hear that stern tone of his elsewhere, for sure. Without an audience.

"I wasn't avoiding it," I insisted. He raised his eyebrow expectantly. "I wasn't. I just got _distracted_ ," I winked at him.

"Stop tryin' to distract _me_ , and get on with it," he ordered. He had that damn adorable smirk on his face, and I wanted to eat it. Eat him. Later, Bella. Later.

"Oh, holy hell, Bella, are there more where he came from?" Holly laughed. Damn, it really hadn't taken much for her to open up at all.

"He's one of a kind, but if it's a vampire you're after, I suppose I could have him make some calls."

"Bella! Bag!" Jasper ordered with laughter in his tone.

"Okay okay!" I grabbed the bag and pulled out the vials and lined them up on the table. "I'll explain them all, for Holly's benefit."

I pointed to the nearly-empty vial first. "Blank Slate. Complete memory wipe." I pointed next to a vial so intensely black that it seemed to be absorbing the light around it. "Null. This one eats magic, but we don't know how much. This is a last resort option." The next vial was electric violet, "This one's called Eternal Dream, and it'll force someone into a coma with a dream so wonderful they'll never want to wake up. Not reversible, as far as I know, but this one," I pointed to the slate grey vial next to it, " is. Darkness, it's called, and it prevents sensory input completely - sight, sounds, tastes, smells, and feelings. You already know about this one," I held up the gold dust we'd all just taken, and that left the last. It was deep royal blue, "This one is called Compel. It allows the user to issue commands that the victim has no choice but to obey. Another last resort."

"Christ, woman. Remind me not to piss you off," Jasper said with awe in his voice before he turned a little somber again, "That last one is especially scary. That kind of power…"

"I don't want to use it, J. It's a last resort, like I said."

He shook his head. "It's not that I don't trust you with it, it's just that if it falls into the wrong hands... You better keep a tight grip on that bag."

"I will," I promised. And I would. Another thought occurred to me.

"Holly, if we don't know what Coen had on you when I gave you that light, is there any way to know how long we have til they get here?"

She smirked. "I had my own shit on him. Set weak tracers on his jacket, his belt, those nasty ass boots he always wears, and a few other items he keeps on him. Even if he got one or two, he wouldn't get them all. As of my arrival here, he was still dicking around down south, somewhere in Florida. Even if he knew where I was, we have at least a few days 'til he shows up."

I shared a look with Jasper, then. It sounded like we'd left Jacksonville just in time.

"Alright, then, enough of the heavy tonight. We can get back to work on those journals and finding some kind of defense against these assholes tomorrow. Tonight, we are gonna party."

We got some music set up and got down to it. I don't know how it was possible that I'd never gotten drunk with Holly before, but the girl was a riot. Rosalie would love her. She was loud and crude and fit right in between us. She even helped pull Charlotte out of her shell a little, getting her to help us send another care package of glitter dicks to Denali for Esme - who I thought might appreciate it, now.

Eventually, though, the human in her won out and she passed out on the sofa. Jasper and I retreated to my old room for some fun of a different kind, while Peter and Charlotte did the same, and all in all, everybody had a very, very good night.

Holly made sure we knew it when we came down the next morning. "What the fuck was that vibe in the house last night? Don't lie to me, Bella, dreams like that don't come out of nowhere. Nor do they usually require _handling_ when you wake up from them."

I shrugged. "Jasper's an empath. Sometimes he projects."

"You lucky bitch."

He laughed, and I felt his smug satisfaction at the exchange, but I let it go. If he ever disappointed me in that area, I'd make sure and knock him down a peg or two, but for now he could have it.

"Alright, alright, no need to be givin' the Major here a bigger head than he already had. We have work to do ladies. Well, you do," Peter grinned.

"On Jasper's big head?" Holly asked salaciously.

Peter and Jasper just about choked, which was funny, but I was getting a little annoyed with her blatant interest in my mate. I might know he'd never go for it, but that didn't mean I had to like watching someone who, for the time being at least, lived in my house make comments like that all the damn time. That shit was not happening. It was stopping right the fuck now. "Holly, do I need to find you some dick? Jasper's isn't available," I snapped.

Her hands immediately flew up and her eyes went wide. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, Bella. I don't know what the hell my problem is."

Peter smirked. "Have you spent much time around vampires before?"

"No. We knew about them but avoided them, mostly."

He nodded. "It's the dazzle effect. Jasper's my sire, so my own effect would be secondary to his to anyone but Charlotte, here." He explained to her about vampires' effect on humans while I retreated to the comfort of Jasper's arms to calm my shit. He was amused by the whole thing, and I'd have been pissed at him if it wasn't for the concern and love that ran through all of it, for me.

He seemed to grasp what I needed; not reassurance, but affirmation, and he obliged, catching my lips in a kiss that had my toes curling as he drowned me in his love. When he broke it, he leaned his forehead against mine. "Better, darlin'?"

"Yes, much," I said, giving him a quick kiss back. "Thank you." He just hummed.

"Maybe I do need to find some dick," Holly muttered behind us.

I heard Peter laugh. "If vamps are really your thing, I'm pretty sure I know a guy."

"Garrett?" Jasper asked him, without taking his eyes off me.

"Mmhm."

"Okay. He's the only one I'd trust with all this shit goin' down anyway. Hell, he's gotten himself in shit with witches before, maybe he can help us out. I don't know why I didn't think of it before."

"Oh, I think we all know why you didn't think of it before, and stop projecting, dickwad. The girls have research to do, and you're distractin' the team leader."

Fifteen minutes later, the three of us were huddled around Charlotte's computer, with notes and journals spread out in front of us. We worked until it was late, way past midnight, until Holly started to slump in her chair, but between the three of us and the new information from Ruby, we'd managed to put a lot more together than we ever would have before. Peter and Jasper, true to their word, had sat with us and paid attention, for the most part. A couple times they left to get food and caffeine for Holly and I. After a while, we put them to work looking through the already digitized notes to see if they could pick out anything they thought might be strategically useful that we'd missed. By the time Holly was toast, we had the bare bones of a plan.

After she passed out, Charlotte and I spent some time with the lights. It wasn't that Holly couldn't know about them, but it felt private between Charlotte and I, and we agreed to keep it that way, at least for the time being. There hadn't been any mention in the journals about how to access the memories stored inside the lights, so we started off just trying to identify what they did. Two were shield lights, one mental, but different than the ones I made, and one physical. One was for glamouring. Another two appeared to be some kind of bombs; the dusts inside them had no latent abilities at all, but rather damaging active ones. The bright white one took us the longest to figure out, but it was for healing of some kind. When we'd finished, Char sat back, looking a little defeated.

"I wish I knew what the memories were. Are they of me? My family? Why were they so important to whoever made these? Why do they belong to me now?" she sighed.

"I wish I knew, Char. We don't even know for sure they were intentional. That one I made that glowed, it wasn't."

"That's true, I guess."

I picked up my light, the one we'd made for misdirection, and spun it around in my fingers, staring at the swirling colors and trying to pick out the bits of blank dust in the mix. My eyes relaxed a little, and then suddenly I felt myself shift, like I was being sucked inside the glowing sphere. I was at the concert and saw Jasper, saw his shocked face when I winked at him that first time. Then I was in the living room at the apartment in Boston, chatting with him and Peter. The memories flashed by like movies, until finally, I was in the living room with Charlotte making the light, and then I was back in my seat in Forks.

"Bella? You alright?" she looked concerned.

"I accessed the memories, Char. I figured it out. Here," I handed her one of her lights, then described what I'd done as best I could. I watched with satisfaction as her eyes glazed over and I knew she was sucked in.

While I waited for her to come back out of it, I thought about things. My light had held the events leading up to its creation, but they'd also been extremely important memories to me. With the directions the journals gave, I was pretty sure I could to it on purpose now. Maybe what the lights did was less important than just having a record of things. They were like little magical home movies, but perfect in every way and not prone to the imperfections the human mind inflicted.

I decided I wanted to try. I wanted to record the last few months. While some of it had sucked big time, there were certainly experiences I'd love to be able to re-live. Just as I started to wonder if it was possible to access memories that didn't belong to or pertain to you, Charlotte snapped back, blinking. I waited for her to speak. It took her a long time.

"I saw, and I remembered. Each memory, it triggered more. My human life. I had fae blood, like you. Active, strongly active. And my family knew it. I made these," she looked at the light in her hand. "I didn't want believe any of it, Bella. I didn't want to give myself false hope."

I stood and put my arms around her in a hug. "I told you I'd help you find it, Char. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but I knew it was true."

She smiled and hugged me back. "Alright. I want to view the rest of these, and I don't know how long it'll take. When I'm done, we'll talk?"

"Of course, Char. If you don't mind, I'm going to go grab J and see if he minds a moonlight stroll. I want to find a spot to draw some energy from; I have some memories I'd like to save."

He'd heard me, of course, and was holding his arm out for me as I rose from my seat. "I know just the place," he told me. He told me to float myself once we got outside, and as soon as I did he took off, grasping my hand tightly. I'd been right before when I'd thought about this - it _was_ fun as hell. The wind on my skin and in my hair felt exhilarating and refreshing; it was almost like a roller coaster ride. It was a feeling of pure carefree happiness, just for those few moments. When Jasper stopped short, he didn't anticipate that I'd keep going, and was so unprepared that I shot past him and he stumbled forward before I slowed enough that he could let me go. We laughed together for several minutes before I finally caught my breath and looked around.

He'd brought me to a waterfall in the middle of the woods. It was beautiful - picturesque, even. There were rocks and moss and trees, and moonlight passing through them. It pretty much looked like a fairy tale painting. "J, this is perfect," I told him. "Come on." I grabbed his hand and floated us out above the small pool at the base of the waterfall.

"Bella, do you really need me up here with you for this?"

"Are you complaining?"

"No, but I don't want to distract you."

"You're not," I told him. "We're stronger together. Haven't you got it yet? I can use your gift where it pertains to you. That means you can use mine, too. Why do you think I took your light and gave it to Holly? You don't need it; you have my shield now. We draw on each other's strengths, through the bond. I'll be able to draw more, if you're here with me."

"How is it that you always figure this shit out before I do?" he asked me. "You figure everything out before I do. Shit, you figured _me_ out before I did." It wasn't a complaint, but there was something underlying it. Not quite doubt or inferiority, but close.

"Magical super-intuition," I quipped snarkily, and then smiled at him. "I might know shit first, but you balance out my crazy. You center me, Jasper. Keep me grounded when I feel like I might just float away. You give me a real home. Don't ever feel like you're less. You aren't. You're everything."

He didn't say anything, just drowned me in his emotions again. It was something I didn't think I would ever get tired of feeling. I grinned at him. "That's more like it. Now, you ready?"

He nodded, and I turned my attention toward the reason we were out here. I brought us down until we were standing on the water, and was glad I'd neglected to grab shoes. I felt around for the energy pulsing through the water and found it easily before beginning to draw it in waves, timing it with my breaths. I stopped when I felt the humming, tingling energy cease growing, and was pleased to find I'd been right. I could draw more now, with Jasper with me.

I let him know I was finished, and we took off back for the house. Charlotte was still engaged with one of the lights, so I pulled out the materials to begin making one, while J watched.

"What are you going to put into it?" he asked.

"I'm not entirely sure I can control what goes into it, but hopefully, all of ours so far," I told him. "You wanna help? I can tell you what to do."

"I'd love to," he grinned.

He followed my instructions while I made a light for glamours from a recipe in one of the swan journals. At the end, I had him add the blank dust, and as I sealed it, I asked him to grab my arm, hoping it would help bring the memories I wanted to the forefront. I focused my thoughts on those memories, and him, while I poured the remaining energy into the globe. When it was done, I was pleased to find that it was glowing, much stronger than the last one.

I glanced at Charlotte and found she was still in her own world, so I decided to take a look at what had been written into this globe. Jasper's hand was still on my arm as I held it up and stared until I felt myself sucked inside. This one began with the car ride to Atlanta, capturing each moment between us up until I made the light tonight. Somehow, even though I'd experienced it all first hand already, seeing the memories play out before me was something else entirely, and I came back around with a couple tears on my cheeks.

Jasper stirred a second after and spun me around. Without a word, he kissed me, less gently than before. In many ways, it felt like our first kiss, which realistically hadn't been that long ago. This time it was me who pulled away, however. "Not that I'm complaining, J, but what was that for?"

"You dragged me in with you, Bella. I saw the memories. I lived it all, but to see it like that, is something else entirely."

"I know," I smiled. "It's awesome, right?"

He laughed a little and kissed me again, lighter this time. "Yes. That's fuckin' awesome, honey."

A little while later, Charlotte finally stirred. "Bella?"

"I'm here, Char. How'd it go?"

She blew out a breath. "So, so much information. I'm not even sure where to start," she looked down and flexed her fingers.

"Wherever you want. That must have been a shock," I told her.

"No," she shook her head. "It's like I always knew it all. Jasper, could you get Peter? I want him to hear this."

He was in the room instantly at her side, and as soon as he was, she started.

"You were right, Bella, that we're family. You're going to have to dig through your family trees, because my name as a human was Charlotte Swan. The lights Ruby left me, I made. The journals she left to you were mine, too, but I didn't write them. The mental shield we couldn't find in the journals, it's from the Swan line. I have it too, in a different form."

She stopped again, and shook her head. "Sorry to just blurt all this. It's just, the pieces are still fitting into place in my mind."

"It's okay, Char. Take your time, say it how you need to."

She nodded. "Fae blood, it runs strongly in the Swan line. It wasn't uncommon for us to gain more than a single active power, Bella. You'd probably have had the same thing happen without the vampire bite. I'd say it's pure dumb luck that you got so many because your dad and Renee got together, but considering me and Peter...well, I think that might just be a little twist of fate that was meant to happen for one reason or another."

"Anyway, it was my mother who married a witch. Holly is about the same distance along the tree from my mother as Peter is from you; descended from my brother. He never manifested active fae power, but he was a powerful witch. I got the opposite. When I was about twenty, a new member's family was brought into the coven - Coen's ancestors. And they had the book that Holly stole. My brother found out about them before they found out about me, and he bound my power and memories and sent me away, so they couldn't destroy me. He didn't know I'd be turned, but that's what happened."

"So you're my relative, but not a direct ancestor," I said. Then, I sighed. This really was pretty fucking weird. Not unexpected, but fucking weird all the same.

"Right."

"And your memories and power were bound before the venom. So how did it affect them? And what are they?"

She smiled. "I don't really know. I haven't tested anything yet. But it _feels_ like they're all right back where they should be."

"All?" Peter blinked.

"Yep," she grinned. "All."


	22. Chapter 22

**JPOV**

As Charlotte spoke of her memories and what she'd re-learned about herself, one part of my mind was listening to her while another was dwelling a little on what it all meant. Somehow, not only had I managed to sire two of Bella's relatives, one from each her parents' lines, but they'd ended up mated. And I was her mate. It seemed too neatly tied to be pure coincidence, and I wasn't entirely convinced by Charlotte's assessment that it was simply a twist of fate.

She might not realize it, but I'd chosen them to turn, out of groups Maria had brought me. It was something she'd done from time to time; bring in a group of humans for feeding to the newborns, and allow me the choice to turn one if I so chose. I rarely chose to do so. We'd had plenty of other sources of newborns, after all. I'd chosen someone from those groups perhaps five or six times, total, and Peter and Charlotte were the only two that lived past their newborn year.

No, it was definitely not a small twist. The hand was fully visible, here - just not what was controlling it, or why. Not that I could really complain about it; I'd lucked out in the deal with two best friends and a mate for eternity. I'd love to figure it out, but I would also be happy to just take the win on this one.

All the shit looming over our heads aside, I was happy. Bella was happy, too; happier than I'd ever seen her. Peter loved the shit out of both women. And Charlotte...something had changed in her when she viewed those memories, and she felt more peaceful and confident than she'd ever felt. It was like she knew a piece of her was missing all this time, and she'd finally found it. I really hoped we all made it out the other side of all of this. It seemed like it would be such a waste to finally find ourselves and each other, only to have that taken away.

I didn't quite know what to make of Holly yet, but Bella had managed to solve the trust issue and it wasn't like we could refuse any help. I did hope Garrett took some of her focus off me. As amusing as it was, it grated on Bella. I couldn't fault her for it - it would bother me too if the situation were reversed. Not because I thought Bella would go for it - I knew she was as ruined for anyone else as I was - but because it was disrespectful. Holly did seem to know what she was doing with magic, though, and she'd helped quite a bit with dissecting the notes and journals. There wasn't much left to do - a few hours' worth, maybe.

I realized that at some point I'd stopped listening and gotten a little too wrapped in my own thoughts when I felt shock from Peter and Bella, and smug amusement from Charlotte.

"And that would include?" Peter was asking Charlotte.

"Well, there's the shield. I have a version of it that's a tad different from Bella's. It'll protect me, and you, honey, through the bond," she said to Peter, "but I can't project away from me at all. I can extend its protection via physical contact only. It also lacks the physical aspect Bella's has. I can't block Jasper's ability, for example."

"Then there's the bullshit radar, which is what I'm renaming what Bella calls the lie-detector. Only mine is stronger than hers is, I'll know the truth behind the lie when someone says it. I don't know if I can work spells, since I couldn't as a human, but I should be able to draw energy and make lights again - I think that's just a fae thing in general if it's active enough," she said thoughtfully. "I could also exert some control of the weather as a human, but only when I felt somethin' strong enough, so I don't know if that's transferred over or not," she finished.

"Oh, is that all," Peter laughed. "Just my luck to have picked myself a woman capable of seein' through my bullshit and actually literally smitin' my ass when she got pissed. That oughta be fun."

"What about the glowing or the levitating?" Bella asked.

"I never did those as human either. Might be somethin' exclusive to your mother's line," she shrugged.

"Might be," Bella said thoughtfully. Her emotions told me she wasn't quite buying it. Charlotte knew, too, and raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. That little trick of hers was going to take some getting used to, for sure.

We all chatted for a little while longer, and Charlotte divulged some of the details of her human life. She told us that her parents, for whatever reason, had known about the fae connection and the possibility of active bloodlines. They'd given her the journals Bella now had when she'd started to manifest her own active abilities around the time she was 16, which did mesh with Bella's theory that it had been her being considered an adult that finally triggered it. Charlotte's life with family as part of a witch coven made it easy for her to train and work on her abilities without too much need for secrecy. She'd focused most of her study during her time as a human on dust and lights.

Bella pulled up her family tree and found that Holly was descended from Charlotte's brother, but Charlotte herself wasn't on the tree. They searched, but found no documentation that she'd ever lived. Charlotte looked upset about that, but maintained that there had to be an explanation.

As the sky started to lighten, there was a knock at the door. "That's Garrett," Peter said. "He must have been close when I called."

"I'll get it, then. What did you tell him? Does he know about Bella?" I asked.

"You could just open this fuckin' door and ask me your damn self, Major!" he called from the porch. "Let me in, I'm not gonna eat your mate. I might break down her door, though."

"Hey asshole, it's not locked! You have hands, don't you? Let yourself in, don't go breaking my shit!" Bella said.

He walked in laughing, and his eyes found us on the couch. "Nice upgrade, I like her already." The statement took me somewhat by surprise; Garrett had never voiced a disapproval of Alice. Then again, he'd never liked her either - his emotions toward her had always been complete indifference. I wondered now how much his friendship with Carlisle had influenced that.

"Who the fuck is being loud?" Holly called from the top of the stairs. "Some of us around here need to sle-" her complaint was cut off as she tried to walk past Garrett into the kitchen. She stared for a minute while he grinned at her, and then she turned to Bella. "What the fuck, Bella? You could've warned me before I went into banshee mode."

"Don't look at me," Bella laughed, pointing at Peter.

"You said you wanted a dick. So, I found you one," he grinned.

"A dick, huh?" Garrett wagged his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. I can't deal with all that before coffee," Holly griped, motioning to Garrett before sliding past him into the kitchen without sparing him another glance. Our laughter followed her as she grumbled, "Fucking vampires. Do they _all_ have to be so pretty?"

For his part, Garrett turned to watch her walk past, very obviously checking her out. "I like that one, too," He grinned. "Smells witchy, though. She's not the problem you called about, is she? I'd hate to have to eat her, as much as I'd love to take a bite."

"No, she's not the problem. She's here to help with the problem," I said. "I'll introduce you when she's got her coffee. This one here," I smiled at Bella, "is Bella, my mate. Bella, this is Garrett."

He bowed with an exaggerated flourish. "At your service, ma'am. Heard you've got yourself a witch problem. I'm never one to pass up an interesting fight."

"Nice to meet you," she responded, but stayed next to me. She didn't trust him yet. "How much did Peter tell you?"

"He clearly left some things out," he answered, glancing toward the kitchen.

"Bella, we can trust Garrett. I wouldn't have okayed Peter calling him if we couldn't," I told her, sending her my reassurance.

"He's right, Bella, if I may? These two dickheads and I have been through some shit together, and I'd never betray my brothers. I might be an insufferable, incorrigible, ornery, wholly inappropriate bastard, but I know the meaning of loyalty, and that extends to their mates," he said seriously. That seemed to placate her anxiety; she must've had some input from her gifts as he spoke.

"Aw, I'm touched!" Peter said, holding a hand over his heart.

"That doesn't mean I won't rip your limbs off and beat you with them myself. It just means I won't stand by and let any other asshole do it," Garrett threatened seriously, but his emotions held mirth.

We filled him in on everything that was going on, letting Bella make the choice how much to tell him about herself and her abilities. He helped her feel more comfortable when she hesitated by telling her some about his own life. I paid particular attention to the parts when he talked about witches. It was something Peter and I had dismissed before; Garrett was as well-known for fucking with people as Peter was. Obviously we'd been wrong to assume his witch issues had been little more than a fanciful tale inspired by some book he'd got his hands on. To be fair, it wouldn't have been the first time he did that just to get a rise.

He was a crazy ass sonofabitch; which was how we'd met him in the first place. He'd been bored after the first World War, decided he wanted some bloodshed, and found his way to the southern territories. He'd offered his services to Maria as a mercenary - something I still don't know how the fuck he got her to agree to - and stayed for a little over a decade. He didn't revel in the bloodshed the way most of us did back then; I'd always thought he really just had an itch to kick ass and the wars had given him the opportunity for something more challenging. Once he had his fill, he simply moved on. It probably was for the best, because if he'd announced his intent to leave Maria might have tried to stop him, or had him killed.

I made a mental note to ask Garrett what it was about Holly's scent that identified her as a witch. She had drifted in and seated herself next to Garrett with her third cup of coffee. There was strong attraction between them; Peter had been right. I wondered how long that would take.

As we told the story, Garrett's emotions went from amused, smug helpfulness to determination, fury, disgust, and eagerness. He swore several times to himself throughout, but laughed and gave Bella a high five for lighting Alice's hair on fire. Carlisle and Esme, however, he was a little saddened about. They'd been good friends.

As we got to the present and began to talk strategy sometime in the late afternoon, a car pulled up in the drive and I caught a whiff of rancid, wet dog. Garrett was about to get his first glimpse of Bella's power, 'cause she was sure to be _pissed_. I felt her tense when she heard the gravel crunch, and I sent her calm. "It's the wolves," I told her.

Garrett moved, but Bella waved him back as she rose. "No, this is my fight. I can handle the puppies," she said dangerously. I felt her anger and disbelief, and noticed the necklace wasn't completely containing her glow. Not good - for whoever it was.

She threw the door open as the visitors' feet hit the steps, demanding, "What the fuck do you want? You were told not to come here. It was not an idle threat." I got up and moved to her side. Of course. Fucking Jacob Black. He had Sam Uley with him, but that didn't quell my anger. Why could this fucker not leave her alone?

"We had no way to contact you to ask permission," he started as they reached top level and continued trying to move toward the door.

"That's because I didn't give you one. Because I didn't want you to contact me, because I've already heard it all. What is it, this time? Are you here to warn me away from my mate again? Threaten him, perhaps? Tell him he can't bite me? Or have you decided that once again I'm a fucking danger to your tribe? What?" she tapped a foot expectantly, arms crossed over her chest in defiance.

Garrett laughed from the living room, and I heard Peter gleefully tell him he hadn't seen anything yet. I heard the them get up and move behind Bella and I, silently backing us. I ignored them. I was too busy enjoying watching Jacob flounder for words under Bella's intense glare. She may not have been glowing very brightly - the wolves might not even notice it - but the anger was radiating off her in waves, and he sensed it.

Finally, he found his balls, "You have a strange vampire here."

"It's no business of yours who I choose to entertain in my home," Bella told him firmly.

"It is if they feed in the area. You know the rules, Bella. Don't think we haven't noticed the red eyes on the lot of your so-called coven. The only reason we haven't come for them is because there haven't been any suspicious deaths locally."

I asked Garrett lowly enough that they wouldn't catch it, "Did you feed on your way in?"

"In Portland," he said. Fuckin' _fantastic_. So there was another vampire in the area causing issues. Probably that red-headed bitch. If so, she would get more than she bargained for when she got bold enough to come for Bella. Actually, I'd probably talk to the guys about huntin' her ass down tonight. It'd feel good to tie off at least one loose end while we waited for the others to unravel. For now though, I was gonna let her ream these two assholes out. I was a little curious what she had planned to do to them.

"Oh, I don't fucking think so," Bella said darkly. "There is no way you're this fucking stupid. You come to where you don't belong to threaten me and mine? Has your tribe not done enough?"

Sam stepped forward, "Bella, please. Does human life mean nothing to you? You must see why we cannot allow this to continue."

"What I _see_ ," she insisted, "is two stupid motherfuckers misinterpreting and twisting the facts to justify meddling in shit that doesn't concern you, once again. Tell me, did Billy okay you coming out here today?"

"Yes," he insisted.

"No. He didn't. Don't lie to me. It doesn't work," she said in a low, deadly tone. "Charlotte. Do you know what actually happened?"

"Billy told him to stay away from you, and to leave us alone. He told Jacob here that it wasn't a fight worth picking, and you'd earned the right to do as you saw fit."

"I see. So why are you here, then?"

"Human deaths concern us, Bella! Their protection is our purpose!" _Oh, bad move Jacob. Very bad move._ He didn't lie this time, but he had purposely avoided her question.

"Human protection is your _purpose_?" she snarled, uncrossing her arms and cocking her head. "What about when it was me? You know, the girl you pursued for months, claimed to fucking love, and then tossed out like a piece of rotten garbage when you imprinted?" She stepped forward.

"What about when it was _Charlie_? You remember him, right? Your father's best friend? The guy who rooted for you, fucking took care of you and helped fill in when your mother died? What about my mother and stepfather, Jacob? They were completely innocent of all this! Where was your sense of motherfucking _purpose_ then? Hmm?"

He looked shocked and didn't answer, so she continued. "You know, you really are the most heartless, hypocritical piece of shit I've ever met. I feel sorry for your little bitch, I really do. Even Sam, here, the biggest asshole alive, still fucking cared about the girl he loved first after he imprinted. Not you, though. Nooo, you put me back together just to rip me down again, and then you fucking stood around with your thumb up your ass while that red-headed cunt shattered whatever you couldn't get to."

"It wasn't like that, Bella, I -"

"Don't fucking _lie_ to me Jacob! It was exactly like that!" I felt something in her then, through the bond, but I couldn't tell what it was. Her rage was so consuming that I was having a hard time keeping my own shit together. She was freely glowing, now, her emotions overpowering the necklace, and it was both glorious and terrible.

She held a hand forward and I thought I saw a shimmer as she stepped toward them deliberately. They were forced back with each step she took forward, until they were driven off the porch. _Oh, that must have been what shifted. A new gift?_ She stood at the top of the steps and looked down on them with a sneer. Their emotions had changed from self-righteous determination to stark terror. It had been a while since I'd enjoyed that kind of feeling, but right now, I did. These fuckers deserved to feel it.

"What are you?" Sam asked, his eyes wide.

"That's not what you should be concerned with. What you _should_ be concerned about is what will happen if you choose to ignore me again."

Jacob, though, was unwisely channeling his fear into anger. "You should take your own advice, Bella. You don't know what we're capable of." He started to shake, and I almost couldn't believe his lack of control. This was who they allowed to represent the tribe? I was not impressed.

Bella smirked. "Actually, I do. You really should have paid attention at the bonfire the other night. I know more about what you are than you do. For example, your power is actually for your own protection, and that of your tribe. It gives you no fucking right to involve yourselves in the affairs of others when you are not wanted. Using it that way is an abuse and an insult to the memory of the one who bestowed it. Now, don't make me ask again. Why. Are. You. Here?"

Jacob said nothing, continuing to shake. I turned an expectant gaze on Sam. He needed no emotional manipulation to speak. "We found a body out on the boundary line. Jake insisted it must be you, so we came. That is all I know."

I advanced and crouched before him, sneering, "Do your brains shrink when you shift? We are back here for a reason and it's not because the buffet is especially good. It's extremely lacking, in fact. I don't owe you an explanation; I don't owe you shit. But if Bella lets your asses out of here, it would be wise of you to inform your tribe that we don't feed on innocents. We eat those who are dyin' already or who deserve to die."

Jacob laughed scornfully. "The one who deserves to die is you. She was meant for me, and you and your _family_ fucking ruined her," he spat.

"Is that it, Jake, really? You let everything happen because you were pissed I wasn't your imprint?"

"You would have been, if it weren't for the fucking leeches spreading their _weird_ all over. Now look at you! Glowing? Tossing people around like dolls? You're a fucking abomination that needs to be put down just as much as they do." I tried to calm him, to keep him from shifting, but it seemed to have the opposite effect once he realized. My power was no secret to the tribe; all our abilities had been disclosed as part of Carlisle's treaty - a tactical disadvantage I'd argued against and lost.

Jacob shifted as he sprang for Bella, I felt something in Bella snap as her hand shot out in reaction and I registered that faint shimmer in front of Bella before I got to her, crouching in preparation for the impact of Jacob's form moving toward her. Instead, he collided with solid air.

"This is your final warning. You will leave. _Now_. If you come back, I'm going to do more than shove you around. I'll hold you still and let my coven rip you apart joint by joint while I watch. If you try to harass or harm them while they're away from here, I will do worse than that, and _believe me_ , I am more than capable of it," she said coldly.

He just growled in response, his eyes darting around. He really was a dumb motherfucker. He was so outmatched here it was insane, even just between Bella and I. In my peripheral vision, I found Sam. He had wisely backed away, placing himself in a position that made it clear he was not fighting this battle. Bella's hand shot out in front of her again, and Jacob was thrown across the property line into the street. I took the opportunity while he was dazed to coat him in thick lethargy, effectively knocking him out.

Holly came forward with a book and a small box, stopping beside Bella as though asking a question. Bella nodded, her eyes not leaving Jacob and the sneer not leaving her face. "Then put him there," Holly directed quietly, pointing to a spot in the middle of the yard. Jacob seemed to be pushed back into the directed area as though a wall was behind him, and Holly moved into place, setting her items out quickly before opening the book and beginning an incantation. As she worked whatever spell it was, he reverted to his human form. Unless my eyes deceived me, he looked less muscular than before.

When she was finished, Bella looked at Sam. "Take him and leave. Tell Billy what happened here and why." I felt her clinging to the anger that was trying to leave her.

"What did you do to him?" he asked shakily.

"I bound his power," Holly said. "He can't shift and he'll lose his wolf traits in human form."

"For how long?"

"Until he proves himself worthy of his magic and I decide to have the bind removed," Bella answered. "For the third time, get the _fuck_ off my property. For your sake, I'd better not catch any wolves sniffing around here again."

Luckily for Sam, he was smarter than Jacob, and opted not to push her further. He immediately threw the limp form over his shoulder and took off. Just as he disappeared from view, I felt Bella start to weaken as she lost her grip on her anger, and I caught her as she collapsed. Panic ripped through me before Peter spoke, tapping his head, "She's fine, Jasper, don't worry. She expended a lot of energy, that's all."

"You know what this is?"

It was Charlotte that answered, "She used the physical aspect of her shield. She's never done it before, and she's still too human to use it the way she did without consequences. She used a lot of energy, and she needs to sleep to replenish it. She'll be fine, though."

Holly nodded. "When I was training, I did that to myself a few times. Call it magic growing pains."

I looked down at her, not quite believing. She was completely limp, and her breathing was too shallow for my liking. On autopilot, I gathered her to me protectively and walked back toward the house, heading for the bedroom. I needed her alone, I needed our space. I needed her to be okay, and right now I didn't believe she was. She damn well didn't look okay, and I didn't have any idea what to do with the fact that I couldn't feel her either. Her presence wasn't gone, but her emotions were nonexistent. She wasn't feeling anything, and that worried me.

"Use your bond," Peter called behind me. "Reach for her through it. You'll see."

I didn't acknowledge him, and didn't stop until I laid her down on the bed, climbing in beside her and holding her tightly to my chest. Burying my face in her hair, I tried to center myself against the ripples of fear that gripped me. It wasn't until her hand moved slightly to grip my shirt that I registered what Peter had said. I knew the bond was there, linking us, but everything so far had been latent. It was just there, a constant thread that bound us together. I didn't know if it was possible to use it to try and reach her now, but it seemed like a good time to try.

Once I was looking, I found the connection easily and followed it back to her. At the other end, I found her presence, strong and...asleep. There was a sense of peace, but it was very, very faint. There was no pain. It seemed that she was just sleeping, like they said she was - a very deep and dreamless sleep. Something too close to a coma for my liking. When I withdrew, I couldn't feel that peace anymore - or anything else from her, beside the fact that she was alive. It unsettled me, so I went back to her side of the connection and held there, closing my eyes and focusing on what I could get from her. When I did so, I realized I could feel her vitals, and what they'd been telling me was right. Her energy levels were low, very low, and her body had shut down to recover from the exertion.

 _Physical bond, indeed,_ I thought, and decided to test how literal that was. If I could feel her energy levels, then maybe I could lend her some of mine. What would take her who knew how long to replenish with sleep would take me a few seconds with some blood, after all. I had no idea how to do that, though. Lacking any better ideas, I silently focused on willing her to take from me what she needed, wanting her to use my strength to carry her back to me, and making myself as available to her as I could. It took several minutes, but eventually I felt it begin to work.

Peter appeared at the door and set some blood bags on the table next to the bed. "You'll still need to hunt later, but these will keep you from going after Holly when you're done. And before you ask, the answer to your question is yes. This is how I kept Charlotte strong whenever Maria decided to starve out the newborns."

"Do you know how long it'll take?" I asked him.

"A few more hours. We'll have time to go hunting before sunrise," he shrugged. "Just relax, focus on her for now. We already dropped the wolves' vehicle off at the treaty line and left your contact info in it in case our little friends are less than truthful about what went down. Garrett and Char are keeping eyes out for our red-headed friend. Our bases are covered; focus on your mate."

I really didn't need to be told to focus on Bella; she was all there was in the world to me right now. Still, I gave him a grateful look as he left the room, closing the door behind him. He was always good about shit like that; removing the smaller worries so I could focus on the main issues. I took another deep breath of Bella's scent and closed my eyes.

I didn't move for the next couple hours, as I focused on giving Bella my strength and monitoring how she was doing. My entire attention was was on her, and I felt a huge rush of relief when slowly, she started to come back. First, her breathing became deeper. Then, she started feeling again, and I figured she'd slipped into a dream. At some point after that, I pressed the thousandth kiss to the top of her head, and she finally began to stir. I briefly considered knocking her back out, but her levels seemed fine. She felt normal again.

"Jasper," she mumbled, and she moved her arms to wrap around me, nuzzling her face harder into my chest. "Thank you."

"No need, sweetheart. I'm just glad you're okay. You scared the hell out of me."

"Mmmph. I was so mad. I didn't think, I just did it," she said, her voice starting to lose its sleepiness.

I didn't say anything. I already knew that much. It didn't make it okay with me, but I hadn't had time to figure out how to broach that subject yet. I'd been too focused on making sure she was okay.

"You're thirsty," she said, trying to sit up. I didn't let her, holding her to me instead. She was fine, and that was good, but I needed just a little more time alone with her being fine. "J, didn't we have this talk already about taking care of yourself? You need to go hunt."

"No, I don't. Well, I do, but not yet. Peter brought me some bags," I told her. I grabbed one and surprised myself by completely demolishing it. She took the opportunity of my distraction to wriggle partially free and grab the others.

She handed me a second. "Soon," she said. It wasn't a question; she was determined and annoyed.

"Yes, soon, okay? Fuck, woman! You're acting like I'm the one who just collapsed." Alright, well, maybe this wasn't a subject I should wait to talk about. I didn't want to be pissed off and snapping at her when the shit hit the fan.

Her face softened. "Okay."

"No. It's not okay, Bella. I felt you, and believe me, I backed you for the way you handled Jacob. You were amazin' and terrifyin' and powerful and goddamn beautiful. But then, all the sudden, you just fuckin' crumpled. Right in front of me, right in my arms. You were gone, your emotions were blank. In all my too-long life I've never felt that kind of fear, do you realize that? If it hadn't been for Peter's fuckin' all-knowin' bullshit and Charlotte and Holly backin' him up, I don't know what Id've done. Bit you, probably, consequences be damned."

I held her eyes as I spoke, gripping her hands perhaps a little too hard. "Instead, I brought you up here, and I used the bond, our bond, to give you back your strength, and I admit that was kinda selfish, because I knew you'd get there on your own eventually and I just wanted you to wake up faster, but I _needed_ to see you awake and okay again. I know how much I used up, and I know I have to eat, Bella, but fuck! Just let me enjoy the fact you're back in the land of the livin' for a few minutes before shovin' me out the door, please. You might've been out cold and none the wiser, but I just saw my worst fuckin' nightmare play out in front of me."

The tears falling from her face made me feel terrible, but this needed to be said. She had to understand it. "We just talked about this, Bella. There is nothing, not a single fuckin' thing in this world that is worth more to me than you. To almost lose you, because you couldn't control your temper - because you didn't just ask me to help, because you felt you had to prove somethin' - that's not acceptable. You're independent, I get that. It's one of the things I love most about you, but you need to realize that it's not just you anymore. What you do, what happens to you, that effects me. If I lost you that way, Bella… I'd never forgive you. I told you before I'd mourn you forever, and I meant it. Please, please don't damn me to that fate."

She was full-on crying now, and I almost wished I could, too. I hated making her feel like this - her guilt was almost crushing, and my words had hurt her - but she needed to hear it. Her crazy bag of nightmare dust was one thing, but what happened today was something else. It was entirely due to lack of control on her part, and something she'd been warned about before. If she didn't make an effort to control it now, she might very well kill us both. I didn't try to calm or comfort her empathically, but I did pull her close and hold her while she soaked my shirt with her tears.

"I'm sorry," she said, muffled because her face was still pressed into my shirt.

"What was that?" I'd heard her quite well, but I wasn't passin' this up. Bella never apologized.

She pulled her face back to look at me. "I can't imagine, if that was you...I can't imagine. It's just...I was so mad. It was like instinct, and I didn't know that would happen. But you're right. It was my fault. I'm sorry, Jasper."

A part of me wanted to stay mad at her, but I couldn't. I wouldn't tell her it was okay - it wasn't. I wasn't going to verbalize my forgiveness - she'd felt that. Instead, I pulled her back to me, "Come back here. And give me that," I said, grabbing the last bag from her hands gently.

"Is that enough?" she asked quietly.

"Enough to keep me from munchin' your cousin on my way out for a hunt. Which needs to happen soon."

"It really took that much from you?"

"Yes and no. I haven't hunted in a while, but I probably could have gone another two or three weeks before the thirst got this bad otherwise. We were planning to go tonight anyway."

"Did it weaken you? What if it took more?"

"It probably slowed me down a little, and I'm thirsty enough I'd be easier to distract. You couldn't take enough to hurt me, if that's what you're asking. This wasn't a problem, Bella. You needed my strength, so I gave it to you. It's easily replenished."

"But-"

"No. Don't argue this. Don't tell me not to do it again. All I did was take care of you. I _will_ do it again. I know you don't need it, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

She sighed in defeat, but a benefit of the bond was that I felt the little bit of happiness and the feeling of safety and security at my statement which might have run too deep for my gift to pick up on through her shield before. She didn't argue it further, and we sat together for a little while longer before Peter called up to tell me they were about to leave.

I moved to go, and Bella stopped me with a hand on my arm. "J. If I can't control it, if it happens again and you're that scared, just bite me."

"Bella, this isn't a discussion we should have while I'm on my way out the door."

"If you think it needs more discussion than this we can talk when you get back. I don't, though. I don't want to make you feel like that again, and I don't want to leave you. So, if it looks bad, bite me. Consequences be damned."

I felt her for any trace of uncertainty and found none. Yesterday I might've argued, but today, after seeing her like that, I wouldn't. Today the possibility of losing her became too fuckin' real to pussyfoot around. "Okay," I agreed.


	23. Chapter 23

**BPOV**

After Jasper left, I opted to stay in my room alone for a while longer. There hadn't been any peace and quiet, and certainly no alone time, for quite a while now. As hard as it was to stay while Jasper went, likely a few hours away in order to be out of the wolves' patrol areas, it was probably good for us. Maybe. Yeah, I couldn't even really convince myself.

What _was_ good for me, though, was to take some time to think about the things Jasper had said to me. It hurt me, how much I hurt him, and though I knew he'd already forgiven me, I didn't know if I could be so easy on myself about it. I'd always been upfront with him about this aspect of myself - it was hard for me to give everything over. With him, I really thought that I had, but he threw it into sharp focus that I'd been deluding myself. I managed to let him in with most things, but when it came down to the important moments, I left him in the dust. Hell, I'd even taken over toasting Alice. That should have been his fight; his decision. If it didn't end there, I'd be little better for him than her or Maria had been.

And today...well. It had been a huge mistake all around. My moving Jake around with my shield had been instinctual, but it was only so because I felt the need to move him and there was somewhere in me a part that didn't want to show any kind of weakness. Ruby had warned me about losing my temper, and Jasper was right - it had almost cost us, cost him, dearly that I'd basically ignored it. All I knew was I'd passed out and been surrounded the entire time by his presence before waking up in the safest, most comfortable place I knew. Altogether not really an experience to complain about. Jasper, though, had spent that time being worried and afraid for me, and he had every reason to be. The last part of Billy's story came to mind, and I wondered if it was possible I could exert myself enough that it might actually kill me. We had no way of knowing whether I'd have the benefit of being sick before that, if so. It could happen just as quickly as I'd passed out today, which is why I told Jasper to just bite me. If the venom affected me in wonky ways, we could handle that. What I couldn't handle was the idea of causing Jasper more pain. He'd lived through enough of it.

I was roused from my thoughts by the growl of my stomach, and I had to laugh at myself a little. For how adamant I'd been that Jasper make sure he was fed, I wasn't taking care of myself, either. I was pretty sure I hadn't eaten in almost two days. I dragged myself up out of bed and wandered downstairs in search of food.

I rummaged around in the cupboards for a few minutes before I realized I would have to cook. It was tempting to just grab a pop tart, but since it had been a while since I'd eaten I thought better of it. Empty carbs and sugar probably wouldn't get me very far. As I was cracking eggs into a pan, I heard a voice behind me and jumped.

"Ah, she's alive!"

I turned to find Garrett propped against the door frame with a grin on his face. Did the man ever not grin? I recognized the comment for the icebreaker it was, but after my talk with Jasper, I couldn't find it amusing. Even less so because with vampire hearing, I knew he'd heard everything.

"So it would seem," I answered. "You didn't go hunting with them?"

"Ate on my way in."

He must have mistook my silence for disapproval because when I didn't respond right away, he laughed. "Regretting defending me?"

It felt like a test of sorts, but I wasn't sure what he was digging for. I answered him honestly. "Not at all. They had no right and no business being here. I'll be straight with you and say it'd make things easier on us all around if you were willing to travel a little further for your meals, but if not…" I shrugged.

It seemed I passed, because he nodded to me and moved to sit at the table. "I grabbed a bite in Portland," he offered. I briefly wondered whether this was his attempt to get me to comment on his eating habits, or just to let me know that it hadn't actually been him that Jake had used for an excuse to come. Maybe he wanted to talk about what happened earlier? Well, if that was the case, he could just say so. I wasn't in the mood to play 'Guess What Garrett Means'.

I decided to take a different route, instead, "Ah. So it was good old Victoria, then. Again."

He looked unsurprised that I'd put it together. "I doubt she'll be an issue much longer. Dinner wasn't the only thing the Whitlocks had in mind for tonight's hunt."

"And you're gonna miss the fight? I'm shocked!" I scooped my food out of the pan and onto a plate before moving to take the seat opposite him at the table.

"Someone had to stay behind," he shrugged. "To be honest, one crazed vampire out for revenge doesn't really scream excitement, especially when it's four against one. A coven of witches, though. Now, that could be fun."

I snorted, "Fun isn't exactly the word I'd use."

"That's only because you haven't been alive long enough to experience true boredom yet," he said seriously, but with a smirk.

"Maybe. Ask me in a hundred years."

The smirk left his face. "Think you'll live that long?"

I put my fork down. "What exactly are you trying to imply?"

Garrett leaned back in his chair and studied me for a moment before answering, "You have at your full beck and call the most feared coven in the vampire world. Oh, yes, they fear the Volturi, but not like they fear the Whitlocks. The Volturi will rip your head off, but they like their pomp and circumstance. You'd never know the Whitlock's were even coming if they didn't want you to. The Major, despite his typically poor choice in women, is the most deadly of all of us. Facts you seem keen to ignore."

"I'm not ignoring anything. I know them, I know what they're capable of."

"That's not what I saw today. What I saw today was a scared little girl with trust issues on a suicide mission. Don't get me wrong, it was an impressive display, but the aftermath left something to be desired, don't you think?"

"It wasn't a suicide mission," I told him. "I didn't know that would happen."

He shook his head, "You're not getting it. The fact that you didn't know is exactly why you shouldn't have done it. You had four vampires more than capable of putting a couple errant whelps in their place. There was no reason for you to have even opened the door yourself, knowing what they are. As I understand it, that trick you pulled was something you didn't even know you were capable of. So tell me, what if it had failed when you provoked that wolf to phase? What if you'd passed out before then? What if just the activation of it had been enough to kill you? What if witchy hadn't been able to bind him and neutralize the threat? What if what she did brings the entire pack back down here gunning for retribution? You placed yourself directly in danger with no thought of the consequences, for no good reason I can see. If that's not suicidal, I don't know what is."

My mouth went dry as the gravity of what he was saying sunk in. Was I really so reckless? So careless? I'd spent years watching my own back, and I thought I'd learned to be careful, to keep myself safe. I got up and busied myself making a pot of coffee while my mind worked through the last few years and what I thought I knew. I'd never considered all the possibilities Garrett had laid out, and it was really no surprise why. I just ran. When things got bad, I'd pull some kind of trick out of my kit and use the distraction to get myself out of dodge. That wasn't going to work for me anymore; it already wasn't working. And while I wasn't shrinking from the fight, I still had not let go of the impulse to just get rid of the immediate threat. Get safe again, as quickly as possible.

So far, that approach really hadn't worked out super well. If not for Ruby, we wouldn't know to expect the Volturi, because I'd killed Alice too soon. If not for Holly, we'd have no warning about when Coen was coming, either. It was entirely possible that the tribe _would_ come down on us for what we'd done to Jake, and that would be a problem entirely of my own making. I was putting Jasper at risk, and Peter and Charlotte. And Holly. Even Garrett, who I didn't know well yet, but liked so far.

I stood leaning against the counter watching the coffee trickle through the filter, thinking through it all. When the pot was nearly full, Garrett spoke again. "Have you had enough time to let it percolate?"

I rolled my eyes at the horrible joke, but answered him, "Yes and no. I realize what I'm doing wrong, but I don't think I have any idea how to fix it."

"Well, that's simple enough. You just need some training," he shrugged as I sat back down, pressing my hands to the mug to warm my fingers. I hummed my acknowledgement, and he continued.

"I've been a soldier for a long time, and there are things you learn. Things _you_ _need_ to learn. Know your own limits. Know who to trust. Use every tool at your disposal. Anticipate all possible outcomes. Never underestimate your enemy. You broke all those rules today, but it's not the end of the world. We can chalk it up to a lesson learned. As long as you actually learned it."

"I'd like to say I have, but I guess we don't know that for sure until it gets tested again."

He leaned back in his chair, resting an arm on the backrest. "Now you're getting it."

"Thank you," I said seriously, and I knew he understood that I didn't just mean for the compliment.

"There's no need for that. I'm here to help, after all."

"I thought you were here because Peter wanted to find Holly a dick," I teased.

He grinned wickedly. "That, too."

"Seriously, though, why did you come? Not that I'm complaining. It's just that I can't think of a reason anyone would take on a cluserfuck of this magnitude if it didn't involve them."

"There are plenty. Curiosity. Boredom. Brotherhood. The kindness of my dead and rotten heart," he said, lifting a hand to his chest dramatically.

"But none of those are why you're here."

"They're not not why I'm here," he answered cheekily.

"You're not lying, but you're not telling the whole truth, either," I eyed him suspiciously.

"You caught me," he admitted. "But the other reasons aren't mine to tell. Let's just say we have a mutual friend."

This was one of those times my radar decided to be irritatingly silent, but he was telling the truth. "Can I trust you?"

"Yes, Bella. I'm quite as invested in seeing you all alive and well as I am in saving my own ass, which is a lot. I really, really like my ass."

I chuckled despite myself, shaking my head. He wasn't lying - he was hiding something, but I didn't have a bad feeling about it. I'd be the biggest hypocrite in the world to begrudge someone their little secrets. I couldn't imagine who the mutual friend he had mentioned might be, but he must have his reasons for not just coming out and saying so.

"I'm supposed to trust you because you really like your own ass?"

"It's a great ass. It'd be a shame if something happened to it," he said seriously.

"What about the rest of you?"

"Well, the ass needs something to stick to, doesn't it?"

"First your dick and now your ass. Why the focus on your lower half?"

"That's where all the good bits are," he winked.

"Oh, please," I laughed. "Save it for Holly, that shit won't work on me."

He shrugged and smiled before getting up from his seat at the table. "Fancy a smoke?" he asked. I looked at him quizzically, gesturing to the pack that was on the table next to the ashtray. He held up something else, and I grinned.

"Can vampires even feel it?"

He lifted a brow, "Eternity would be awful boring without, I think. Are you coming?"

I followed him outside and noticed the night sky was clear for once. The stars were clearly visible, and the air was cool and crisp but not chilly. I went to sit in the grass, looking upward and thinking about Jasper. I could feel him faintly - where he was, and what he was feeling. He'd started back while the coffee was brewing, but had stopped and taken a detour a few minutes ago, his feelings ringing determination and fury. He must've found Victoria. I wasn't worried. He had Peter and Charlotte with him - not that he really needed them to take her out. His swift incapacitation of the Cullens had demonstrated that. I just hoped it would be over and they'd be back soon.

I wanted to speak to him, about what happened earlier and about what Garrett had said to me tonight. I knew Jasper hadn't left angry, but it still felt unfinished, like something lingering over us. I wanted to put that to rest as soon as possible. And, I just missed him. The short distance between us now was enough to make me realize how much I'd gotten used to his presence, and I wanted it back. I wanted to be looking at the stars out here with him.

Garrett followed my lead and sat down next to me, but an appropriate distance away. I took his offering as he spoke, "Pining already?"

"Was it that obvious?"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a sign of a strong bond."

"I'm not embarrassed," I told him. I'd never be embarrassed about anything to do with Jasper.

"Good," he said, exhaling. "You know, I meant what I said. Trading pixie for fairy might be the best move the Major's ever made."

"Don't compare that bitch with me," I warned. "The only thing fae about her was her visions, and they were completely wasted on her. Fucking disgraceful," I spat.

Garrett busted out laughing, a little too hard for the situation. I tried to stay pissed, but it was infectious - or maybe I was just feeling the effects. I felt Jasper coming closer, and the relief set off another round of laughter that left no doubt. The battle hadn't lasted long at all, I noticed.

About an hour later, I was laying on the ground on my back starting upward, feeling Jasper move closer. Garrett had gone into the house to check on Holly; apparently he was unused to being around someone that actually needed and demanded to get their full eight hours. It made me wonder how they'd got along while I'd been down and out. How would that even work, for them? Holly wasn't immortal - she was a witch, and as far as I knew, she enjoyed being one. I had no idea how she felt about vampirism. Immortality was a daunting prospect, and not for everyone. For Jasper and I, it hadn't been an issue at all. We both knew I'd be changed eventually.

I felt it as they arrived, but stayed where I was. The grass was soft, the temperature was perfect, I was comfortable, and I wanted Jasper out here enjoying this with me. A minute later, I heard the back door open and an instant later he was lying on the ground beside me, without a word. I scooted myself over, somewhat awkwardly, and he wrapped an arm around me as we breathed each other in. We both felt the same: relief, comfort, contentment.

He commented, "Garrett shared his stash." I could tell he wasn't upset, so I just shrugged. He put his face to my hair, kissing my head, but not moving away. "He probably had the right idea. You had a rough night."

"I did it to myself. You both said things I needed to hear."

"He spoke to you?" he asked, surprise in his tone.

"Yeah. It sucked to hear, but I'm glad he did. He was right. You both were."

He felt like he didn't quite buy it. I looked up at him, "Jasper, look. This thing with us...what we have, it's wonderful. But being mates, partners for eternity, is going to come with some bumps. Neither of us are perfect. I've never held back from telling you when I thought you were wrong. I expect you not to hold back with me. I need that from you. I may not always like hearing it, but I need it. What I did today, that was dangerous. I fucked up, and you told me so. I feel like shit about it, but that doesn't make you any less right or me any less wrong."

"I guess I half expected you to find a way to twist it around on me," he admitted.

"Nope. You don't get to be the asshole, here. That's all me this time."

He sighed, but didn't say anything right away. When he did, it was unexpected. "It's a beautiful night. You don't often see the stars, in Forks."

His change of subject had told me everything I needed to know. The matter was settled, finally. I smiled. "No. I've been out here wishing you were here with me to see them."

"My apologies, darlin', for making you wait. But I think when you see why, you'll feel my absence was worthwhile."

"See? Did you bring something back?"

As if on cue, Peter came around the house with a giant red sack with white fur trim slung over his shoulder. I didn't even bother asking where he'd found that. I wouldn't put it past Peter to have carted it around for years waiting for an opportunity to use it.

"What the fuck is this, Peter Pan? Trying to play Santa, now?"

"Hell, no! I'm Krampus, and this is what happens to naughty kids!" he said with glee before tossing the sack to the ground a few feet away from us.

Jasper got up and held a hand out to help me up. As soon as I was standing, Peter took the sack and unceremoniously emptied the contents onto the ground. When I realized what it was, I wanted to laugh, but decided it'd be more fun to fuck with Peter a little.

"You give them a bag full of leaky rocks?"

"You're so unappreciative! I take the time to help the Major here rip a vampire to chunks and you can't even do me the courtesy of recognizing what they are?"

Jasper scoffed, "You didn't help. You just gathered them up from where they fell."

"That's helping! You might have missed some otherwise. How could you present your kill to your mate with pieces missing?"

"You make it sound like we're animals, Peter," Jasper rolled his eyes, but he was amused.

"Where's the head?" I asked.

"Oh, shit. I let Garrett see it and forgot to put it back in the bag."

"So it's where? I swear to Hades, Peter Pan, you better not have let that nasty bitch's venom leak all over my house," I threatened.

Charlotte came outside holding a large steel mixing bowl that seemed to be overflowing with wild red-orange curls, while Garrett trailed behind her with that grin of his back on his face. "Don't worry, Bella. It's contained."

"Oh, come on! I really liked that bowl!" I complained.

"Well, this definitely went differently in my mind," Jasper said.

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "Why didn't you just torch her?"

He shrugged, "She did you the most harm. I thought you'd like the honors."

I sent him my love and gratitude before peering into the bowl Charlotte held. "Is she conscious?"

"She can hear you but she can't speak. She can't see you, either," Jasper told me, looking at Charlotte.

She shrugged. "I might've gouged her eyes out. I just wanted a piece of the action."

"So let me get this right. Jasper ripped her apart, Peter picked up the chunks and put them in a Santa sack, and you gouged out her eyes after the fact for good measure?" I asked her.

"Yeah, that's about the size of it," she said.

"Savage," I said approvingly. "Did you keep them?"

She reached into a pocket and produced a set of eyeballs that looked like they were made of glass.

"Nice," I said. And it was. I was glad Victoria was dead and that the painful part of it had pretty much been taken care of already. I found I was not as upset with not participating in that as I thought I might have been. Maybe I was still a little high. Maybe it was emotional exhaustion from the night's events. Maybe I was just tired of all the conflict and losing steam. All I wanted in that moment was to be lying back down staring at the damn stars with Jasper.

"Garrett. I need to borrow your lighter."

He handed it over, and I went and lit the pile of chunks on fire. I called Charlotte over and dumped the head on top of the pile. Then, I stood watching it until the flames started to catch in her hair. I leaned in then, and told her quietly, "All this, for nothing. You stupid bitch. I was never Edward's mate."

I stepped back and told Char, "Keep the eyes if you want, or toss them in. I don't care," before walking back to the house and through it, sitting on the old wicker bench on the front porch. Jasper found me several minutes later, sitting next to me. I leaned on him and he drew a blanket over us. I was still staring upward.

"Thank you," I told him.

"Anytime, sweetheart. You don't seem too happy about it, though."

"It's not that. I'm glad she's dead. I'm just tired of it all. I want it over. All I wanted all night was to look at the stupid stars with you. Instead, you had to leave, go hours away to hunt because of the wolves I pissed off, and take a detour to kill yet another remnant of my past."

"Well, we don't have much time left anyway. Holly said a week or so; it's already been half that."

"There has to be something we can do besides sitting here and waiting for them to find us," I said with some frustration.

"There is," he said. "I've thought about it."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't think you'd be receptive. I don't love the idea, myself."

"What is it?"

"Well, there's the Cullen house. We could relocate there. You can't be traced there on paper at all, so when they show up here, we'd have some warning. It's a more easily defensible position, since there's only one way in or out directly. The woods are farther back from the house, and all the windows would make it pretty easy to see anyone coming before they saw us."

I sighed. "You're right, I wouldn't have been receptive. But you have a point. There are also more bedrooms there, and clearly we need them. Do we even have access, though? Did Rose and Em sell it?"

"No, they haven't sold any of the Cullen properties. They transferred ownership to themselves until Carlisle and Esme settle enough to figure out which, if any, they still want."

"Well, let's do it then. If it'll give us some warning, any edge is better than the alternative."

"Peter's already calling Rose and Emmett to get the keys."

"Fucking eavesdropping vampires," I grumbled.

Jasper chuckled lightly, breathing into my ear, "Another perk of the Cullen house is all the soundproofing."

"That sounds lovely," I smiled and kissed him.

Peter popped his head out a few minutes later to let us know Rose and Em would be bringing the keys down personally and we could expect them in about six hours. Carlisle and Esme were just about acclimated. There were still some things to handle with the assets the coven had, as well as Edward and Alice's holdings, but when Emmett had told them they owned a private island that had been all they heard. They lost all interest in the other houses, and didn't care about the accounts as long as they had the money to do what they wanted. They were leaving to go to Isle Esme in a couple days, which freed Rose and Emmett to come to us now.

Jasper and I stayed on the bench staring at the sky for another few hours, until the sun was fully present. It was not long after that that the clouds rolled in again, but the clear sunrise had been beautiful. There wasn't much to pack up, so we sat enjoying the time together until Holly wandered downstairs. She was thrilled when we told her the plan, mainly because she wouldn't need to share room time with Peter and Charlotte anymore.

It also opened up possibilities as far as spells she could work ahead of time to help us. She hadn't worked any substantial spells around the house because she'd said it wasn't worth the energy when they'd be broken quickly. Holly was good at her craft and very sneaky, but not strong enough to build spells on her own that would stay in place against a full coven. The Cullen property was larger and more secluded, so she could set some things in place there that might have a chance of working.

The drive over was mostly silent, with both Jasper and I lost in our own thoughts. Neither of us had left the place on a particularly good note, and I wondered how much would be left behind. I was surprised to find myself more nervous about going there than I'd been about going to Charlie's. I really wasn't quite sure why that might be - maybe something to do with the prospect of the memories that might be dredged up.

Thankfully, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I'd thought it would be. Pulling in the driveway had been a little awkward, but the greetings between us and Rose and Emmett were warm. They already knew Garrett, and seemed to hit it off with Holly right away.

Inside, the house had been stripped of anything personal. There were some pieces of furniture left in the main living area, enough to be functional, but all the wall hangings, photographs, and knick-knacks were gone. The bedrooms were completely emptied, and the office rooms held nothing but bare bookshelves. It felt sterile, and it was a little bit eerie to remember how alive it had seemed before. Peter and Emmett made a game of who could get their voice to echo the longest, in each room. It was meant to break the somber mood that had descended, but it really only helped to illustrate how empty it actually was.

Rose frowned after we'd completed the full tour. "I guess we'll need to make a shopping trip for some essentials. I just wish I knew how long we'd be staying."

"A few weeks," I answered automatically, a little surprised with myself. My radar had been mostly silent lately. "It'd be best if we meet the Volturi here."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Definitely shopping, then. That's not enough time to be worth having things shipped."

"Let's make a list," Charlotte offered. "If we work quickly, we can go get the stuff and be back and set up by tonight."

I declined to go with them, not really caring what they chose. Maybe someday, when I felt like I'd be sticking in a place for longer than a couple months, I'd take the time to figure out what I liked and decorate a space. For now, there were more important things.

The guys went to patrol and set a perimeter while Holly and I stuck by the house discussing options for spells she could put in place and traps we could set. I wasn't capable of working much, but I'd gone over enough of her notes and spellbooks to be able to offer some input. Mostly, she just bounced ideas off me while we walked around the grounds.

We'd gotten back around to the front when she stopped, looking at the end of the driveway with a small frown on her face. "I could lay some magic tripwires here, but they'd probably expect that. If I placed them out in the woods, that would probably be more effective."

"Tripwires for what?" I asked her.

"Ah, it's just a name for lack of a better term. It's a tiny bit of magic, virtually undetectable, but when it's crossed by anyone who has magic I'd know it. Like a shitty alarm system."

"But vampires have magic, you'd get pinged every time someone left or came back," I pointed out.

"True," she said, still thinking. "But I could lay them around the other house. Coen will go there first, and we'd have warning then. Maybe enough to meet them on our terms, instead of waiting to be found."

"Sounds good to me. Let's run it by the others first, though."

When we were finished, we went to sit on the back steps and wait for the guys to get back. A thought struck me. "Hol, what are you going to do when we're finished here?"

"I don't know, Bells. I'd like to travel, some, I think. That was never an option before, the coven always held me back. Other than that, I have no clue."

I nodded my understanding. "I'm sure Garrett wouldn't have a problem with travel," I teased.

She laughed. "I don't even know what the hell I'm doing, there. I like him. Way, way too much. But...I don't know. How would that work? I don't think it could, unless I let him change me."

"Is that something you want?"

"I have no idea. I haven't had much time to wrap my head around it. I guess not dying beats the alternative, but if things didn't work out then where would I be?"

"Stuck with us, I guess," I grinned.

"Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be so bad," she said thoughtfully.

"Maybe think about it?" I said. "In case something happens. They won't change you unless you say it's what you want. Rose won't let allow anyone to be changed who doesn't want it. She didn't, and it made her miserable for a really long time."

She was silent for a few minutes. "I think, that if something happened, I would want to be changed."

"I didn't mean you had to make a decision right now," I told her.

"No, I know. And if nothing happens, I might not make the same choice in the end. But between death and vampirism, I'd choose the latter. I want the chance to live on my own terms. I've never had that," she explained.

"Okay," I told her. "How long do we have, anyway?"

"Couple more days, give or take. He's left Florida and it seems like he's moving toward us, but the path he's taking isn't direct. I don't know what he's doing." Something about what she'd said gave me a bad feeling, but I wasn't able to get any details about it.

We spent the next day preparing as best we could. Holly went to Charlie's with Garrett and laid the tripwires we'd talked about, in addition to several traps that Garrett had called "damn nasty" with a note of pride. She really was extremely good at what she did. She'd set up circles all over the house and property; some for protection that we could run to if needed, some that would send anyone who walked into them into an illusion world that would distract them for a time, some that would render the people inside them invisible to anyone outside it, and several others. She said it was a better strategy than spelling the whole house, which would have taken big spells that were easy to target. She did that too, but mostly to distract them into not looking for the rest. By using a lot of little ones, the chances they'd be detected were less, and while they weren't all nice, we had the advantage of knowing which were which.

Charlotte and I focused on making what she'd dubbed "bomb lights". She'd taken the idea from the two lights she'd made before that had no passive effects. These were meant to be thrown and broken, although we couldn't test them. The energy expended in making them left us both weakened; I had to sleep, and Charlotte had to feed. Jasper and Peter had tried to help us recover, but it had only resulted in all four of us being weaker than usual. We managed to make eight of them before they all needed to go hunt. We decided to stop there; from here on out it was more important to keep our strength up than to have a handful more lights.

Rose, Emmett, and Garrett busied themselves by rigging traditional traps and hiding weapons around the property. They figured that the witches would be expecting a fight with magic, so normal tactics would give us an element of surprise. Garrett never said what it was that had gotten him out of his witch trouble before, but he seemed confident this would help.

By dark, we all felt like we were as ready as we could be. Holly said Coen was making his way up the coast and should arrive sometime in the morning, so we decided on a quiet movie night. The vampires could preserve their energy, and Holly and I could sleep if necessary. We all gathered on the couches around the TV Rose and Charlotte had bought, paired off in couples.

As I settled myself into Jasper's side, I noticed Holly in a similar position with Garrett and smiled. They looked as content as we were. I hoped it didn't take them as long as it had taken Jasper and I to figure it out.

All there was left to do was wait.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note:**

**I need to say a couple things:**

**First, this chapter has been written for about a week, but I was sitting on it. Big huge thanks to EllieFayeT for giving me the guts to freaking post it, already.**

**Second, Wink has been nominated for the Non-Canon Awards in the Underfictionated category. I cannot even express how beside myself I am about it...I'm 100% flattered and kindof embarrassed and I don't really even know what to say besides THANK YOU.**

**Third, there's a small lemon in this chapter. I hate it, I'm not happy at all with it, but it needed to happen so, there it is.**

**And now I'm gonna shut up.**

* * *

 

**JPOV**

I don't think anyone actually watched the movies we put in. Everyone was distracted after Holly had told us how little time we had left. The room was thick with everyone's worried emotions, and we were all just trying to find some comfort from our mates and each other before the hammer fell down. There was the definite beginning of a mate bond between Holly and Garrett now, and I wondered if they'd have the chance to see it grow. Feeling it between them, and being with the other two mated pairs, I didn't know how I could have possibly mistaken anything before. They all felt different, that was still true, but there was something about each bond that was also the same.

The night seemed to drag by, but as dawn broke it suddenly felt over too quickly. It was familiar to me - the feeling of the night before a battle. And this, us sitting around together, was the calm before the storm. Holly and Bella were dozing while the rest of us were as still as statues, each lost in our own thoughts.

Suddenly, Holly's eyes snapped open. "Something's tripped a wire."

"Is it them?"

She paused, then nodded. "Yes. He's in Forks."

There was a flurry of movement as everyone stood and started moving to get things ready.

"Game on, then," Garrett smiled grimly. "You ready?" he asked Holly.

"Can I have some freaking coffee first? They're not going anywhere for a minute," she snapped. As she finished, Charlotte thrust a cup into her hands. "Jeez, thanks."

She downed the cup quickly before looking to Garrett. "Alright, let's go." He picked her up and was out the door in a flash.

I looked to Bella, who was sipping from her own cup. "Are you ready for this, darlin'?"

"No," she answered. "But there's no choice now."

We walked to the front porch and sat together, trying to look as oblivious as possible, while Peter, Charlotte, Rose, and Emmett dicked around inside looking preoccupied. This was the plan - Holly would go to the house and pretend to be surprised to see them. She'd turn around and run with Garrett back here, leading them here. When they got here, we'd pretend to be taken by surprise so they wouldn't suspect all the nasty surprises we had in store for them. It wasn't the world's most complex or brilliant plan, but we hoped it would work. I hoped it would work.

"Do you have it on you?"

"Yes," Bella answered, dropping her hand minutely toward the bag tied to her hip. "J, if this goes bad -" she started.

"Bella, don't. Never go into a battle thinking you might lose. If you do, you basically guarantee it."

"I don't think we'll lose. But that doesn't mean nothing can happen, Jasper. I'm still fragile. If it comes down to it, I want you to bite me."

I sighed. "You always bring this up at the worst possible time," I told her.

"Just promise me you will. If I know that, I can do what I have to do without holding myself back," she said.

"Just what are you planning to do?" I asked her. Where the fuck was all this coming from?

"I'm not planning anything, J. I just have a bad feeling," she said. I knew she did, I felt it. That, and her desperation for me to agree. She needed me to give her this hope.

"Bella, if something happens, I'll bite you. There's no alternative for me. You know that."

"I know, but thank you for saying it. I needed to hear it out loud."

She didn't feel much better after that, but her sense of hope and determination grew. We didn't speak again until we saw Holly and Garrett run back up the driveway. He deposited Holly next to Bella and stood in front of her, watching the drive carefully.

Something was wrong. Holly felt very little besides fear, and Garrett was outraged - not surprising, he'd learned to channel his fear a long time ago. Fear did no good on a battlefield, but anger could be used as fuel to keep you alive. What bothered me was just what would have him so scared to begin with.

"What is it?"

"It's just him," Garrett growled.

"He absorbed them. All of them," Holly said, her voice cracking.

"All of who?" I asked.

Bella's eyes widened. "His whole coven. And a lot of others."

I gaped at them in shock. Just like that, all our plans were basically out the fucking window.

"That's right," a voice said, coming from the driveway. I moved to a protective stance in front of Bella and whipped my head around to the source.

Standing in the walkway in front of the house was a man. He looked unassuming - short dark hair in a nondescript style, a little stubble, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans with worn-looking boots - but the energy he was radiating was sinister and ominous. "What, no hello?" he smiled. "I've come an awful long way to see you, Bella."

"You really shouldn't have," Bella responded as the others came out of the house.

"What's going on?" Peter asked. He cut me a knowing glance, and I caught his drift. He'd caught something on the radar, and it wasn't good. "Who's this?"

Coen laughed, "Oh, I doubt very much that you don't know who I am. Quite the little welcome you've prepared for me here. I didn't realize you were so devious, Holly. I should've suspected when I found the tracers. Ingenious, really - I'd never have detected them before. I was so impressed I left them on, not that the warning will do you any good. Are you sure you won't change your mind? You just might make a fitting partner for me after all."

Garrett growled, and I felt a surge of anger from Holly. "You mean slave. No, thank you."

He laughed again. "Oh, that's too cute. You've found yourself a vampire mate!" He cocked his head, studying me for a moment before looking back at Bella with twisted smile, "You too, Bella? Do you really think they can protect you?"

"Do you really think we can't?" I asked, sending him a sharp dose of terror and pain. He stumbled for a moment, but seemed to shake it off quickly. Way too quickly.

"That's a neat trick, vampire, but you're out of your league."

There was something in his tone that told me he knew something I didn't. As I was preparing to send him an amplified wave, Bella placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't, J. No gifts. He's absorbing it." Fucking fantastic.

Before I could try and process what the fuck to do, Emmett moved to attack him. He moved at vampire speed, but it wasn't enough. Coen made a nonchalant hand gesture that diverted him, sending Emmett flying into the trees. He checked his nails. "Oh, don't worry. I already disarmed all of Holly's little traps. I think." Rose flew out to where he'd landed, and I understood. Her mate came first, to her. Mine did to me, too.

"Enough of this!" Bella called from behind me. "What is it that you want?"

"You already know what I want, Bella. Your power. Everything else I've taken will drain out eventually. I had to drain a lot of other witches to be strong enough to take you on. But fae power, now that's the good stuff. It's sticky, you see. Sticky enough that I can keep it and pass it onward."

Every word he said made my skin crawl. I didn't know what the fuck to do here. It was obvious I couldn't get close enough to kill him, and he'd absorb my gift if I used it against him. He had us by the balls, and he knew it. The little shit had even let us have the warning he was coming, he was so confident.

Bella sent me a jolt of shock mixed with rejection - our code for pay attention, but don't look at me. Then, she sent me her reassurance, determination, and a blanket of comfort and her love before I felt her start to give me her energy through the bond. _What the fuck is she doing? She can't weaken herself now._

Coen apparently had the same thought. "Oh, very good Bella! I guess the mystery of where my grimoire went is solved. You're right, I can't take it from him, but I don't need to. I need the seed, the spark of it in you. The thing that lets you replenish it. You can't give that to him."

She shrugged, "Well, you can't blame a girl for trying." I felt her regret and fear, though. She had no idea what to do now, either.

"I guess not, but I'm bored now. It's time," he said, holding a hand up to beckon her forward. She moved involuntarily.

"Stay there, Jasper. It'll be alright," she said, and her emotions went oddly calm. I didn't believe her, but I still couldn't see a way around anything. Getting myself killed would be of no use to her at all. Shit, fuck, god-fucking-damnit! I hated feeling so absolutely and utterly powerless.

She walked forward to stand in front of him, and my heart was in my throat as I watched. He'd fucking kill her, right in front of my eyes. Our best chance now was to hope he got distracted while he was draining her. The horror coming from everyone else was barely registered in light of my own. I almost didn't notice the stormclouds roll in, or the rain starting.

Coen smiled maliciously and raised a hand, but before he could touch her, a bolt of lightning hit him. He went flying backward, smoke rising from him. For a blessed few seconds, it seemed like he might be dead, but then he just got up and dusted himself off like nothing had happened. "Weather control. Nice," he turned to look at Charlotte. "It's too bad I haven't found a way to drain vampires. Yet. When I do, I'll make sure and find you." He was struck again, but this time it seemed not to affect him.

"How the fuck are you still standing?" she snarled. I kept my eyes on the bastard in front of me, but in my periphery I saw Bella take the opportunity to start digging in her bag and pull out a vial. I hoped she grabbed the right one.

"Protection spells. Duh," he answered. "Are you done yet? There's nothing you can do here. You can't beat me. I'd rather not have to kill more than I have to, but I will if you force my hand."

As he reached Bella, she threw the contents of the vial in his face. I couldn't see what color it was in all the rain, and I didn't think it had made it onto him until he reacted. He coughed and sputtered, stumbling backward. "What the fuck did you do?!"

"It's called Null, shithead. For uncontrollable witches, as it happens. Can you feel it eating away what you absorbed? I wonder how much it's going to take," she snarled. "I hope it takes fucking _everything_."

We all watched, transfixed. Nobody knew what was going to happen. I knew there was a double meaning to Bella's words. She didn't just hope it took everything from him - she hoped the magic he'd absorbed would be enough to satisfy the dust so it didn't spread.

Coen wasn't done yet, though. As he registered what she'd done, he held a hand out, and I felt Bella's energy start to leach away slowly. "That necklace isn't going to protect you," he said menacingly. When he ripped it off her, the drain sped up incredibly. She'd be gone in moments at this rate, and nothing I could do would stop it. If I moved too closely before the dust was finished, we could both die - we still didn't know if it would absorb the part of vampirism that was magic.

She looked at me, then Coen, and smiled. What the fuck did that mean? I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I was watching, literally feeling the life drain from her, and she was smiling and sending me reassurance, acceptance, and love. There was always love, from her. There would be up until her last breath, I was sure. My eyes were on the scene in front of me, but my mind was playing out an eternity of utter despair without her.

It was Holly who finally snapped me out of it. "It's worked, Jasper, go. He's weakened enough."

Peter launched himself a split second before I did, and while Coen managed to divert him a few feet to the side, he couldn't move us both. I snapped his neck with a hard flick to his chin and landed beside Bella, gathering her to me.

The drain slowed, but I still felt her fading and I didn't know why. I fed her energy back to her through the bond, but it wasn't enough to keep her conscious. The threat was gone, but she was still dying. I pushed more, more than I knew I should, but this was Bella. I needed her like I needed air.

"It's the dust," Peter said from behind me. "She got some on herself."

"Fuck," I muttered. There were two choices, here. I could keep giving her energy and hope the dust gave out before we did, or I could bite her and hope the venom was stronger than the dust. As I watched her, thinking frantically, a foreign sense of calm settled over me. Ruby said I'd know when the time came, and this was obviously it. This was the reason behind Bella's feelings. She knew this was what it would take to save her.

Placing a kiss on her warm lips for the last time, I pushed the soaked hair away from the crook of her neck and shoulder, and bit down. Her blood tasted like I vaguely remembered water - completely flavorless, but fresh and crisp. It was soothing and refreshing, and I could keep drinking, but there was no _need_ for it, no frenzy, nothing about it that made me want more. Instead, I focused on pushing as much venom as I could into the bite near her neck before sealing it and moving to her wrists. I deliberately covered the mark made by James and Edward. There was no way those assholes would get to mark her for eternity.

When I was finished, I picked her up and brought her back to the room we'd chosen on the top floor and stripped off her soaked clothes, replacing them with a set of comfortable and, more importantly, lightweight pajamas she liked to lounge in. I placed her on the bed before changing into a set of dry clothes for myself and finally lying down next to her. She wasn't making any noise or moving and it looked for all the world like she was sleeping, but I could feel her pain through the bond we shared. It was muted, like she was trying to keep it from me.

I'd have been worried if not for Ruby's letter. In it, she'd told me to expect some things about Bella's change to be different and that it would take four days instead of the normal three. She'd also mentioned not to try and take on Bella's pain. I wouldn't be able to contain it and would end up projecting, sending it to everyone else in the house and amplifying it for all of us. There was a big part of me that wanted to try anyway, but the idea of causing Bella more pain was enough to stop me. Instead, I settled for staying with her and sending her as much calm and comfort as I could. I hoped the coolness of my own body would help lessen the fire that was raging in hers.

During the following days, everyone took turns coming into the room. Peter brought me some blood early on, so I could stand Holly coming in. I'd weakened myself, but I wasn't going to leave Bella for a second, and they all knew it. I'd hunt when she did.

On the second day, Garrett turned up wanting to talk. "I told her she was suicidal." I thought I caught a hint of regret from him, but mostly he felt pride when he looked at her.

"Why are you so proud, then?" I asked.

"Because she took everything I said to heart. She thought like a soldier back there. That little shit had us backed into a corner and she found a way to get us all out alive, even though it cost her."

I wondered what exactly it was that he'd said to her, but he was right. A few days ago that confrontation could have gone very, very differently. I pushed a strand of her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, "Yeah, she did. But that isn't why you're in here."

"I want to know if you'd mind me sticking around for a bit."

"That's a surprise. Holly?"

"Yeah. I want to see what there is to see," he said. His feelings when I said her name told me he'd already seen, but I didn't expect to get anything further out of him.

"Stay as long as you want," I told him. It was an invitation to join us, and we both knew that. No need to be bothered with formalities. They'd just make us both uncomfortable. He nodded with a small smile and left.

Bella stayed silent the entire time, never moving except to squeeze my hands. I watched as her hair turned fuller and longer, and her magically dyed streaks disappeared. Her tattoos faded, but the real ones didn't disappear completely, instead turning lighter with the tone of her skin until they were barely visible. Her skin lightened too, to our own otherworldly shade of pale white as it hardened and cooled. Her piercings seemed unaffected by the change, but I didn't know what might happen if she ever took them out. Her scent changed, too, losing the bergamot notes and taking on something like patchouli undertones. It caused a reaction in me that I didn't expect: I wanted to bite her again, to mark her. I guess I'd been wrong about the instinct bit of it all.

During the afternoon of the fourth day, her heart sped up, pounding frantically as it tried to fight off the venom. A few minutes later, it lost the fight and stopped completely, but she didn't move. She wasn't even breathing. I could feel her there, and her emotions were calm, mostly. There was some curiosity and relief and a little wonder. I was patient enough to give her about twenty minutes before I finally said anything.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just trying to adjust some before everyone knows I'm awake and swarms me," she answered without opening her eyes. "You sound different. I sound different, too." She inhaled, and I felt a jolt of panic mixed with a massive amount of lust of both types, "I don't want to eat Holly, J. I can smell her already."

I knew she'd be different, but I was still astonished. "Are you that in control already? Isn't your throat burning right now?"

"Yeah, but it's not unbearable. I knew what to expect. There's a lot to take in, I'm trying to avoid being overwhelmed."

Did knowing what to expect make such a difference in a newborn? I guessed it might; Bella had no anger over her change, and she'd had the sensory changes described many times.

"I can practically hear the gears in your head turning, J. Yes, it makes a difference."

"Oh, please don't tell me you can read minds now," I griped.

She laughed, and the sound was different, but still beautiful. "No, I just know you. You've seen countless newborns, but somehow I doubt Maria ever saw fit to warn them about what they were about to go through and give them time to accept and prepare for it."

"No, definitely not," I conceded.

She opened her eyes, finally. They were a bright shade of crimson now instead of the brown I'd come to love, but they were somehow still the same. "You're beautiful," she breathed. Then she inhaled again, and her eyes darkened. "You smell amazing," she said. "What is that? God, it's so much stronger than before."

She was on top of me, straddling me and holding me down with her nose to my neck in less than a second. "Whoa. That's gonna take some getting used to."

"Thought you were going slow?" I asked.

"Yeah. How the fuck did you ever not break me?" Laughter broke out downstairs.

I growled, loud enough that they could hear me. "Get out." More laughter, but a minute later the door shut and I heard a couple cars pull out of the driveway. I turned back to Bella, "Years and years of practice, darlin'. You'll get it eventually, quicker than you think."

"Hmm," she responded, running her nose along my neck and jaw. She inhaled again, deeply this time, and growled a little. "Jasper, you smell _so_ fucking good, I want to bite you."

I had no idea how the fuck she was focused on anything besides getting fed, but at that particular moment there wasn't a single part of me that gave a shit. The amount of lust rolling from her was immobilizing, and hearing her say she wanted to bite me had only made it worse. I gripped her hips and pushed mine upward to let her know it. "Then fucking bite me."

Instead, she pulled back and slid herself down a little, pushing her hips down over mine. The layers of fabric in the way were infuriating, and she seemed to feel the same about it, because she gripped my waistline and ripped my pants off at about the same time I tore her shorts. She positioned herself quickly and then drove her hips down to mine, burying my length inside her as I yanked her mouth down to mine. I used a little more force than was necessary, but fuck it. I didn't need to be gentle with her anymore. She still tasted like home and heaven and everything good and comforting - even more so now than before her change - and she didn't seem to mind the roughness one bit.

I barely had time to think about how warm she still felt before she started moving. I let her set the pace before matching her rhythm, which started off slow and almost tentative but increased in pace and force gradually as we spurred each other on. She grabbed my hair and I gripped her hips; she clawed my chest and I groped her perfect little tits. I licked and sucked every part of her I could reach when I could reach it, and she just rode me, harder and faster. I met her hips in kind, thrusting up as she sank down, loving the force I could use on her now almost as much as her using hers on me. There were no coherent words spoken, but the moans and partial words cut off by sensation were loud and uninhibited.

Finally, when I was right on the brink, she leaned forward and sank her teeth into my shoulder. From the sharp sting came an exquisite warmth and tingling pleasure as her venom hit my veins. I came violently, erupting into her as I bit down on the shoulder of hers that I could reach. I felt it as my venom hit her, she stiffened and then shivered in pleasure as her walls contracted and she ground herself down even further onto my cock. The moan she let out with her teeth still in my shoulder almost made me come again on the spot.

Somewhere, niggling in the back of my brain was a reminder that she was still a newborn that needed to feed. I really wanted to stay buried in her and keep thrusting until we'd both had a few dozen orgasms, but I knew she couldn't take that right now. Well, she _could_ , but Holly would probably pay a steep price for it. I took my teeth from her regretfully.

"Darlin'?"

"Hmm?"

"As much as I love this position, you still need to eat."

"If I agree to go hunt, I want alone time. I don't think I need to stop, now. I want to…" she bucked her hips and moaned. I rolled my hips upward, wanting to hear it again. It turned out to be a tactical mistake to my cause, because it set off a chain reaction. She'd move a little and make some wonderful noise, and I'd move because I wanted her to do it again, and because it felt so goddamn good. Before long, we were moving together, her hips grinding and mine rolling, and suddenly it was back to that all-consuming frenzy before her mouth formed that familiar little O and her orgasm pulled mine out of me.

"Sweetheart, we really, really need to get you fed," I told her. "I need you to let me up, or we'll stay in this room for the next decade."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" she asked, jerking her hips slightly. I shot my hands out to hold them still.

"Absolutely not, but you'll enjoy it a hell of a lot more without that burn in your throat."

"I guess you have a point," she sighed. When she lifted herself off me, I immediately regretted trying to be the responsible one, here.

"What do you want to hunt?" I asked her seriously. We'd had the discussion on vampire feeding habits before, but I'd never asked what her choice would be.

"I don't know, which tastes better?" she said cheekily.

"Criminal it is," I nodded and got up, throwing on some jeans before I took out a pair of hers to help her into.

"Do you really have to help me get dressed?"

"If you want to get out of here so we can get back to what we were doin' just now, yes. If you'd rather hang out and shred all your jeans tryin' it yourself and then have to go out huntin' pantsless, then no," I told her with a smirk.

"Well, it might help me catch a rapist," she said with mock innocence.

"No way, darlin'. Not an acceptable tactic. That bit of you is for my eyes only from here on out," I told her, a little bit of angry at the thought of some scumbag getting even that much of her. Her favorable reaction to the minor outburst was definitely something to think about, though.

It took me a little while to get her dressed and ready to go - she kept trying to get me back into bed. It was hard to keep saying no, but I knew if I didn't nobody would see us for days. She was like me now, and her observation was correct. We had no need to stop. I was pretty sure Rose and Emmett had gone at it for an entire year without stopping, once. How the hell they managed that while hunting, I didn't even want to think about.

Once I got her out of the house, the hunt went fairly smoothly. She'd needed to hold her breath when we got into the city while I found a likely looking alley, but that was it. She fed swiftly and cleanly and cleaned up afterward without having to be told. Heightened sex drive aside - which I was not complaining about - she seemed to be functioning fairly normally. It seemed odd to me, but I'd take it at face value for now. Maybe Peter knew something about it. He'd had more experience with newborns outside Maria's army than I had.

Of course, when we got back to the house, the cars were back in the driveway. I felt Bella's annoyance and I couldn't blame her. I didn't want to share at all yet. It felt like that first day in Jacksonville all over again. While I knew they all wanted to see her, it felt like bullshit to me. Newly mated couples were nearly always given alone time with no questions asked. How the fuck I got strapped down with a coven who refused to understand that was beyond me. I knew we still had some shit coming, but I doubted a few days was really too much to ask.

We hit the porch steps before we smelled it: rancid, wet dog. Bella scrunched her nose adorably at it. "Ew, what the fuck _is_ that?"

"That, sweetheart, is what the wolves smell like. Let's see what they want."

I felt her irritation spike as we walked in, but she kept herself remarkably calm. Emmett was speaking to Sam, while Peter was talking to Jacob and Billy. Jacob looked thin and a bit worn. All three felt apprehension, but no aggression. Hopefully this would end better than it had last time.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note:**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or its characters. Original characters and Fairy Bullshit are mine.

**Big thanks to everyone who's continued to follow this story. We're getting close to the end, now. Special thanks to EllieFayeT once again for talking me through some sticking points.**

**Sorry this took so long to get out to you all - I was out of town for a while without my computer.**

* * *

**BPOV**

So far vampirism was treating me swell. I woke up, didn't kill my cousin, fucked and fed, and was really looking forward to fucking again before these asshole wolves showed back up to throw a wrench in things. Okay, so that wasn't fair. Our entire fucking coven was back, too. I knew they just wanted to see how I turned out and everything, and I was grateful to have them care so much. Really, I was. And I wanted to see them too. I did. I just wanted to see Jasper more.

The vampires in the room, aside from Emmett, shot me apologetic glances when we walked in, so I guessed they must have understood. I didn't really know what Em's deal was, but I hoped I wouldn't have to bitch him out again. Sam and Jacob stood up, and Billy was watching me expectantly. Gods, but they smelled ripe. So much so that Holly was barely noticeable. And Jake was looking pretty bad. Real pale for a tribesman, all thin and sick-like. Thinner than he had been even before his wolf was activated.

"Bella. It's good to see you are well."

I had to choke back the snarky response I wanted to give to that. I was really trying hard on this whole controlling the temper thing. It was harder now than it had been before. I felt stronger urges and impulses and it was much harder to ignore them - I was still a newborn vampire, after all. I wasn't able to control all of them, but this, I could. Well, I would try. Last time really hadn't ended very well for anybody.

"Thanks," I said. "Not to be rude, but can we skip the small talk? Why are you here?"

Billy ducked his head with a small smile. "Of course. We'd like to speak to you about the treaty and about what transpired at your old home last week."

I nodded and sat down, and Jasper sat next to me almost automatically. I'd have been surprised if he'd done anything else. It felt like another layer had been added to the bond with my change, and it renewed the feeling we'd had in Jacksonville. We didn't want to be apart, or share. Pretty fucking simple, but these people didn't seem to grasp the concept. I wanted to tell them all to fuck off and run upstairs with Jasper.

Instead, I bit my tongue. "Alright, then. Say what you came to say."

"After Sam brought Jacob home last week, we had a tribal meeting. It seems that, although you kept your promise to keep our histories hidden, you did allude to it. We were forced to fill them in, as acting Alpha and rightful Alpha."

Billy paused, and I sat there waiting. Why was it my problem if they had to share the histories? They belonged to the entire tribe, anyway. Secrets are like tumors - it might be ok for a while, but eventually that shit's gonna grow and you'll have full-blown cancer. Well, not me. But still.

Staying still was hard as fuck. I mean, I get it, some people like to choose their words carefully, but goddamn I did not have the patience for long and dragged out bullshit right now. Get to the fucking point, Billy. _Oh, fucking. I could be…_

Jasper moved a hand to my arm and I felt myself pulled back to awareness as Billy finally found the words he wanted.

"We'd like to know what you meant when you told Jacob we were abusing the abilities we were given."

I sighed audibly, entirely for his benefit. Was it really so hard to figure out? "I meant exactly what I said. She gave up her immortality, and then ended her life prematurely so her line would have the means to protect themselves. Nowhere in that story did I hear that she did that so you guys could run around hunting and harassing people, crowing about how much stronger or what better protectors you are. And yes, vampires are _people._ Not all vampires are destructive assholes. Not everything that isn't a wolf is a threat to your pack. Your ancestor obviously came from a race of magic that was different, or else she couldn't have created you to begin with. Did you ever think of that?

"Potential threats might trigger the gene, but that's all they are - potential. That does not mean you go accusing every vampire you run across of being a murder-hungry monster. It also does not give you the right to try and control a human based on your skewed idea of what is safe and what is not. If you remove their ability to control their own lives, you're no better than the things you claim to protect against. And since your power was given specifically so _you_ could not be subjugated in that way, I view it as an insult to your ancestor's memory. Is that clear enough for you?"

Billy nodded thoughtfully while Sam remained stoic and Jacob looked like someone had slapped him in the face. Hmph. Good. Serves him right.

At their silence, I really couldn't resist continuing. So much for controlling the impulses. "While I have your attention, I might as well tell you that I think it's bullshit you never shared this before. In fact, I'm pretty sure the story you choose to share instead contributes a whole lot to the nasty superior attitude your pack members have. Pinning the source of the ability on a crazed vampire's attack and some man's determination to stop it? It's not really even plausible. I don't know how the fuck you got anyone to buy that load of crap."

"You're right, Bella, but we were instructed to keep it secret nonetheless. Perhaps your recent encounter might shed some light as to why," Billy responded.

"Maybe," I conceded. That was something I had not considered. Fucking crazy ass witches. How many like Coen were out there? His family had to have gotten that spell from somewhere, and the Null dust was created for exactly that kind of situation, it seemed. Something to ponder, for sure. "But how did you even know about that?"

Billy suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "The same way Quil sensed your magic. Some of us have the ability."

That really didn't surprise me one bit. What did surprise me, and bothered me some, was how he knew a little more than just that there were magic users afoot. He shifted under the expectant stares of most of the room. How they knew could potentially affect our safety and security if we'd overlooked something.

I was _so_ over this tribal secrecy bullshit and pulling answers out of them bit by bit. _They_ came to _me_ , to my home. They were intruding on my time, in my territory, without my permission, _again_. For what, if they weren't going to tell us shit? Suddenly, I was furious. It did not escape my enhanced senses that while I wasn't shaking, I did begin to lift from the sofa we were perched on, and the looks on their faces told me I must be glowing. I wasn't focused on my own traits, though. I was focused on determining the best way to get them the fuck out of my house as soon as possible. Bloodshed was likely.

Jasper's hand on my arm tightened, and he pulled me firmly back down. I threw off his false calm, so he blanketed me in the other usual cocktail of emotions. Love, admiration, lust, and all the rest of the complex set that made up our bond. As irritated as I was at the dirty trick, it worked as intended and calmed me down before I did anything stupid. So much for the newborn's fabulous control. I shot him as dirty a look as I could manage, but he just smirked and shook his head.

Addressing Billy, he spoke in my stead as I sat, trapped by the waffling between my anger and the love of my mate. He was _so_ getting punished for this shit.

"You are trying Bella's patience, which I know you understand to be thin on a good day. Which this was, until your asses showed up. I suggest you quit with the cryptic bullshit and tell us whatever the fuck it is you're hidin' this time. If I have to ask again, I may just let her loose to deal with ya'll."

Billy fidgeted a little, and Sam finally barked, "Tell them, Billy. This needs to end."

Yeah, it really fucking does. And you dicks need to get out of my house. _Oh, dick..._

His eyes went wide and he looked back at me, then Jasper. "There are other tribes with similar origins to ours. Some of them have different gifts, and over the years we've intermixed some. Sensing magic is one of those gifts a few in our tribe possess. We have one family that shift into birds, rather than wolves. When Old Quil sensed the massive amount of magic arrive in Forks, we sent one to watch him. That is how we know."

"Stupid, dangerous, and downright rude," Garrett commented.

"I agree," Jasper said quietly. "Have you been spying on us this entire time?"

"No," Billy said quickly, licking his lips. "No. We only did so because of the sheer amount of magic Quil sensed."

He was telling the truth, and Jasper seemed to sense the same because he nodded shortly. "See that you don't start. Now, you didn't just come here to whine that Bella made you spill the beans."

"We have come to ask that Jacob's bind be removed," Sam said succinctly. Clearly he'd grown tired of Billy's beating around the bush, too.

"And why should I do that?" Holly asked. "You saw the way he acted. He lunged at her, for fuck's sake."

Billy turned to Holly, "You know of this?"

"I'm the one that placed the bind, dipshit. Clearly you weren't lying about the not spying. Witch," she pointed at herself with an expression of pure impatience. "I placed it, and _only_ I can remove it. And I won't do so without a very good reason. He insulted my vampires and attacked my family." She crossed the room as she spoke, coming to stand before him with her arms folded across her chest, looking down at him haughtily.

I felt a kind of smug pride seep in as I watched her, and it wasn't entirely my own. Holly had spent a long time under the thumb of her coven and fear of Coen, but she was free of all that now. And she'd claimed us as hers. A flash of intuition told me this was not just the Web dust speaking; she'd formed true bonds with all of us. I was very glad I'd recently fed. Her proximity caused a slight burn, but nothing uncontrollable.

"I'm dying," Jacob said quietly.

Holly nodded. "I knew that was a risk, depending on how much magic you had in you. But what's worse? I remove the bind and let you continue your bullying and jackassery, or I don't and you die and everyone is left in peace?"

Well, that was news to me. Still, I couldn't fault her logic. The wolves were too strong to allow one with Jacob's particular set of issues to run amok.

He looked up at her, then to me. "I owe you an apology, Bella. I was wrong. Will you let me explain?"

He owed me far more than just an apology, I thought, but out of sheer curiosity I nodded my assent. I still didn't trust myself to speak. Jasper's hand slid down my arm to my hand, and I wove my fingers with his as we waited for Jacob to find the words.

"You have to believe me, Bella, I just didn't get it. When I imprinted and it wasn't you, it killed me. I really wanted it to be you...that's why Sam ordered me to cut contact. Because of what he'd gone through with Leah and Emily. I was just so angry about all of it. About us, and about your parents. I was blinded by it. And then you showed back up here with another coven in tow, and I lost it. I want to believe on some level I just wanted to see you were okay, but that'd be a lie. I was pissed, and wrong about a lot of things.

"I didn't realize how intrinsic your magic was, is, to you. I had no idea how much a part of me mine is. I thought your magic was from the venom leftover when you got bitten. I thought they had tainted you, made it so my own magic would reject you. I had no idea you would have had it anyway. I'm sorry."

I regarded him for a moment, mulling things over. I knew he wasn't lying, but his being sorry over my treatment meant nothing to me now. He couldn't change or atone for it. None of them could. I glanced to Jasper, not knowing what to do or say. His reassurance and pride warmed me, and I knew what to do.

"And how do you feel now?" I asked him.

He looked away from the spot he'd been staring at, finding my face. "I recognize what a gift it is. My imprint, she really is the right one for me. And my wolf...I miss it. I realize now I took it for granted. You were right. About all of it."

"Would you feel this way if you weren't dying?"

"That's not really a fair question, Bella. Dying makes you rethink things. I'd like to say I'd have come to the same conclusion eventually, but who knows?"

I guessed that was a fair answer. I looked at Holly. "It's up to you."

I meant it. It was her magic that bound him, and she clearly had her own reasons for doing so. I gave her the decision in part for her own sense of power, and in part simply because I was now bored. Jacob Black would not be a problem for us any longer either way, and that was good enough for me. We still had enough on our plate to deal with, and the wolves were really not a concern for us. If it somehow came to a fight, I had confidence we'd win. In my mind, the situation was now resolved, and I was quickly losing what little patience I'd had. I had much better things to be doing than chatting with a bunch of foul-smelling busybodies. As much as I knew we could spend hours hashing out all our issues, the fact was I just didn't give a shit anymore.

Holly nodded at me and then looked at Jacob intently. "I'll remove the bind. If he promises to behave." He nodded solemnly.

Jasper cleared his throat to get their attention, looking around before he spoke. When he finally did so, he used a tone and quiet volume that would allow no argument. "Unless you have something else of consequence to say, you will leave when she is finished, and you will stay away. I have let Bella handle things thus far as she saw fit, because it was she who was wronged. In my opinion, she's been lenient. Don't mistake it for forgiveness, and don't make the mistake of disregarding her request again. Mind your own fuckin' business from here on out. If I so much as catch a whiff of wolf around here again, the consequences will make Holly's bindin' seem like the best goddamn Christmas gift you ever got."

Billy swallowed thickly, "No, that was all. Thank you."

Jasper stood, gently tugging me along with him. "Don't thank me, and don't make me regret leavin' you alive." He turned to Peter and Garrett. "See that they're gone as soon as Holly is finished. Bella's about at her limit, I'm takin' her out of here."

Fuck. Yes. I'd had more than enough.

He led me through the back door and out to the woods. "You wanna run or float, darlin'?"

"Run," I decided. He nodded approvingly and we took off through the tree line. He lead slightly, since he knew where we were going and I didn't. I didn't mind it so much. I had plenty to keep me occupied. My improved senses were still so new that I noticed and catalogued every little thing - plants, animal tracks, even what bugs liked what trees best. It was a foreign and strange feeling to take it all in and know I would never forget it, even if the information was completely useless for any practical application.

We came to a stop in a densely wooded area, and Jasper looked at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I told him. "It's just a little much. I thought I lacked patience before."

He smiled at me. "Good to see you're a little bit normal. The fact that you held back as much as you did is pretty astounding."

"Speaking of, using our bond as a weapon against me was a pretty low blow," I accused.

He just shrugged. "I didn't have the time or heart to employ the usual tactics. I couldn't let you fly off the handle, so I did what I could."

I wanted to stay pissed, but I couldn't. Stupid gorgeous lickable man.

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere you could blow off some steam and no one would notice. Thought you might like to do some lumberjackin'," he said with a lazy grin.

"I can think of a better way to blow off steam," I told him. And then I pounced.

Four days later, we made our way back to the house. Turns out, we did do some inadvertent lumberjacking. We also completely destroyed our clothes and were ridiculously dirty. Jasper's hair didn't even look blonde anymore, and I shuddered to think what mine probably looked like. We'd probably have stayed gone if it wasn't for that. I figured without all the bodily fluids, nothing would stick and I wouldn't feel dirty and gross anymore. I was wrong.

The place was blessedly empty when we arrived. I guessed Peter might have gotten a tip-off from his radar and cleared everyone out. That was good. I knew vampires were less modest overall, but I really wasn't keen on the idea of everyone seeing my bits. I realized I hadn't even taken the time to give myself a once-over since my change. Too many other things going on.

I sighed as we walked in, and Jasper squeezed my hand. "It'll get easier."

"I hope so. My mind is all over the place, and there's too much going on not to be able to focus," I told him as we climbed the stairs.

"Well, you're calmer now than you were a few days ago," he said smugly.

"True," I allowed, "But that's because it was just us. I doubt that'll last long."

"Probably not. Better make the most of the time we have," he stated. He climbed into the shower and held a hand out unnecessarily to help me in.

Showering took several hours, between the level of grime we were covered in and the number of available distractions. We managed to make our way to the bedroom eventually, and that's where we stayed until late the next day when we heard cars pull in the drive.

"Time's up," Jasper said with a hint of regret.

I definitely felt that too, but at least we'd finally had some time 'off'. It allowed things to settle a little for us. Not much, but it would make what was coming next and having people around all the time much more bearable. Still not preferable, but bearable.

"Oh, shit," I groaned.

"Hmm?"

"You still haven't shown me how to dress myself."

"Are you sure you need to learn?"

"You seriously want to spend eternity dressing me?"

"Nope," he grinned, tugging his jeans on.

"So your brilliant plan is to, what? Keep me naked in a room like some kind of immortal concubine? Some southern gentleman you are," I teased.

"I'd make it worth your while," he promised.

"No go. Show me the pants. Quickly, before I rip yours off again."

It took me a little while to get the hang of the proper pressure to use with the fabric, but I managed to get it on the sixth try. J helped me with the bra because we hadn't had time to order any new clothes for me, and I only had two. Ripping them really wasn't an option. Not that gravity could do me any harm now, but I wasn't ready to let the high beams loose just yet. Human modesty and all that.

All in all it took about a half an hour to get me dressed. Peter met us at the bottom of the stairs with blood bags.

"No traveling for food tonight, you two. It's Whitlock bonding time!" he announced.

"Whitlock bonding time?" I said skeptically.

"Yeah. You two've been at each other for long enough. The radar says you're safe to be around Witchy-poo. Time for some group bonding activities."

"Please don't tell me you booked one of those weird resorts with the giant logs," I begged.

"You drink that, and then I'll show you."

I looked at Jasper, but he just shrugged. He was completely relaxed and at ease, and I realized it might be first time since we'd met that he'd ever been so content. Yes, there was still the Volturi to think of, but they were still a little ways out. For now, we could just be, without imminent or uncertain doom hanging over our heads.

Not wanting to argue it with Peter, I took the bag he offered and drank while we followed him to the living room.

"Ladies and Gents, our venerable leader and his not-so-blushing mate!" He announced frivolously.

"Nice," I commented.

"He's got a point, darlin', you don't blush anymore," Jasper said before turning to Peter. "Cut the shit with the pomp and circumstance, will ya?"

"You never let me have any fun," he whined.

"Your idea of fun makes you look like a jackass, sugar," Charlotte told him in a soothing tone.

"Well fine. Anyway, while you two were off doing...each other, some stuff happened."

Immediately I tensed, and I felt Jasper do the same. Fucking really? We couldn't catch a break?

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Peter! Look at them, you asshole! Don't say shit like that. Char?" Holly scolded, and Char obediently rapped Peter on the back of the head.

"Anybody wanna tell us what the fuck is goin' on here?" Jasper growled out.

"Nothing," Holly said. "I promise. Some of us just made some personal decisions we'd like to share, that's all."

I felt some of the worry leave us both, and we sat together. It was odd how in sync we were, but I'd think about that later, I decided.

"Alright then," Jasper said when we were settled.

"For starters, I decided I'd like to be changed. If I'm gonna run with vampires, I want to be able to actually run with vampires," Holly began.

Jasper nodded with a small smile. "I assume you'll be performing the change, Garrett?"

Huh. Guess I'd missed something, there.

Garrett responded, "Yep."

"Timeframe?"

"Whenever she wants."

"Tomorrow," Holly said firmly. "I want to be through the change by the time the Volturi come. Being a witch doesn't stop me being human, and I don't want to cause more trouble. Besides, the decision is made. There's no good reason to wait."

"Okay," J agreed. "What else?"

Garrett spoke up this time, "I'd like to take you up on your invitation. Holly wants to do some traveling soon, but otherwise I think she'll be happiest with you lot."

"And you?" Jasper asked.

"Could use a change of pace," he shrugged easily. "Wandering around gets boring anyway. A home base wouldn't be the worst thing."

"Em and I would like that too," Rose said. "I know it was already talked about, but we wanted to confirm it. We like having a family around."

"It won't be like the Cullens," Jasper warned. "Your diet is your own business, but we're not gonna be repeating high school or pretending to be human, here."

"Right on!" Emmett enthused. "I was tired of that shit, anyway." Apparently the stick he'd had up his ass before was gone.

Rose smiled and nodded her agreement. "I'm looking forward to actually living."

Peter handed Jasper a box and said, "I guess we had just enough after all."

"I guess that would make it all official. You guys want these? You don't need to take them," Jasper said as he opened the box and offered the four remaining rings to the newest coven members.

I felt his surprise when it was Garrett who leaned forward first to pick his ring. He made no apologies to Emmett about it, but he seemed to be happy with the remaining ring anyway. Rose and Holly just looked at each other and pointed, each grinning when they realized there would be no argument. The two couples exchanged rings the same way we'd done before, and I noticed that we'd all done it that way instinctively. I didn't know anything about coven dynamics, really, but I was pretty sure this was something a little outside the norm. When the impromptu ritual was complete, everyone inhaled at the same time, and it felt like something had clicked into place.

We all looked at each other for a few minutes afterward.

"That everything?" Jasper asked.

When nobody spoke up, Peter grinned. "Yep, now it's party time!"

Everyone moved then. Rose and Char to grab drinks, Emmett showed Garrett how to work the stereo, and Peter was fussing with a card game. Holly came to sit by me.

"You look good," she said. "I hope I turn out half so well."

I scoffed. "It'd be hard to improve. You're sure about this?"

"Yes," she said. "Absolutely. I have a home here, and I want to keep it."

"I know exactly what you mean." Something else occurred to me, though. "Won't it mean giving up your magic?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "Char thinks I'll either keep my ability to work spells or manifest another gift. I do have Swan blood, after all."

"That's true. But what if you don't?"

"Then I'd just be normal. Imagine!" She laughed.

"I can't even," I grinned.

"Alright bitches, get your asses out of the huddle. Time to dance!" Rose called.

We passed the rest of the night in a haze of drinks and dancing, until Holly finally passed out sprawled over Garrett. It felt wrong to continue without her, so we all ended up on couches, coupled off much like the night before Coen showed up around the TV. Without the proverbial axe over our heads, though, it was much different. There was a movie on that Peter and Emmett were quoting over in ridiculous voices, and soft laughter all around.

I let out a small sigh of contentment, and Jasper turned his head to kiss my temple.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay. So, I know you've all waited a long time for this update and I hope it doesn't disappoint. This chapter contains a few big reveals.**

**Thanks everyone for sticking with me this long. I could bore you with a million and one excuses, but the bottom line (and all I assume most of you care about) is that now that things have calmed down, I hope to have this fic wrapped pretty soon. At any rate, it won't take months between updates from here on out.**

**Special thanks once again to EllieFayeT for helping me muck out some problems and for pre-reading most of this. Sorry I jumped the gun and posted it before you read the finished thing.**

**Thank you also, to those that have followed and reviewed since I last updated - I promise, I will get to replying to you guys, but even when I don't, those reviews mean the world and always make me smile!**

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**JPOV**

The sky was almost finished lightening when Holly finally stirred. She groaned a little, "I definitely won't miss being drunk under the table by you assholes."

There was a respectfully quiet round of snickering, which was a little astonishing considering who the group consisted of. Maybe we just didn't want to torture Holly on her last human morning.

While her decision to be changed seemed a little rushed to me, I couldn't fault her logic. She and Garrett obviously had a bond, one that seemed like it'd end up as promising as the rest of ours. She had a new lease on life, having escaped her coven and Coen, and she had family here. I didn't necessarily love the fact that she didn't really seem to have many other options if she wanted to keep her family in her life, but there wasn't anything I could do about that. It'd be her eternity, so it was her choice. I was happy to let her make it for herself.

Besides, the girl was fun, and Bella and Charlotte both seemed to need her. Even Rose, who was notoriously slow to warm to new women, seemed to have a bond with her. I really didn't know quite what to think about that one.

For a vampire coven, eight was a huge number. The Cullens had come close to it, but that wasn't the same thing. Carlisle had changed four of his number, and brought them up in a way that really left them nowhere else to go in our world. In our mix, there were familial bonds with half that made sense, but some others made less. I still wasn't sure why Bella had felt Rose and Emmett should be with us; maybe it was just because she knew they didn't really know anything else or have anywhere else to go. The Denali coven was nice enough, but Rose didn't love the women, and I couldn't blame her for that. If the tables were turned, I wouldn't really want Bella around a coven of sexually predatory men, however well-meaning they might be.

Bella poked me in the ribs. "What did I tell you about thinking too hard?"

"My apologies, ma'am," I spoke into her ear, and she shivered.

"Stop that, J, or we'll miss seeing Holly off."

"Is she going somewhere? I thought the idea was for her to stick around," I teased. It earned me a smack on the arm.

"Actually, we were thinking maybe it would be best if the uh...bite was performed elsewhere," Garrett said, handing Holly a cup of coffee. A sight I would have never believed if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes.

Bella nodded knowingly. "Use Charlie's house."

I nodded my agreement. Probably best not to have blood in the house, plus using Charlie's would afford them some privacy without displacing everyone else, as Bella and I had done.

"When are you planning to head over?" I asked.

"As soon as I'm done with my last meal," Holly said with an edge to her voice as she held up her coffee.

"I hope you're nicer as a vampire than you are as a human," Peter taunted.

Her only response was a vulgar gesture with one hand, while she took a sip of coffee with the other. "Aww, you're number one to me, too!" he cooed.

"You're such a fuckbag," she griped. I might have been worried if I couldn't feel her amusement.

Peter just grinned.

Light conversation continued, with a few more jabs and insults being lovingly hurled around, until about twenty minutes later. Holly looked mournfully into her cup.

"I can get you another one," Garrett offered.

"No," she said. "It's time." Her voice was a bit shaky, her emotions a little turbulent. I pushed some calm at her.

"It's gonna be fine," Bella offered, tapping her head, while Peter nodded.

"You guys are fucking creepy," she grinned.

"Can't all be as perfect as me," Emmett boasted, puffing his chest out.

"Oh please," Rose said, examining her nails. "Don't make me bring up the Little Mermaid incident." Emmett blanched.

"Oh, please please do bring it up," Peter begged.

Rose studied Peter for a minute, then went back to her nails. "No, I think it can wait."

His pout was almost as epic as his pleading, and their mission was accomplished, because Holly walked out the door with Garrett laughing.

As soon as the door shut, I informed Peter, "There's no incident. I'd have heard about it."

"Oh no, there is," Rose assured. "It's just not the right time to tell the story is all."

"I can't believe you're going to do me like this, babe," Emmett whined.

"Well, if you'd stop doing stupid shit, I'd stop having embarrassing stories to tell," she responded as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

He grinned back. "Where's the fun in that?"

What followed was something that really should have been taking place in private. I looked up for help from Peter, but he and Charlotte had disappeared.

"They have the right idea, J. We have some time to kill, might as well make good use of it," Bella said lowly.

I didn't need telling twice.

Apart from a few crashes and bangs, more than one of which we caused, there were no interruptions for the next few days. It'd been a request of Holly's that we not go see her during her transition, so there was, again, no need to stop.

The third morning, Bella was the one to be responsible and point out that we should get ready for Holly and Garrett to come back.

"Oh, they won't be back for a few more days," Peter called back.

"So much for the soundproofing," Bella grumbled.

"Hallways aren't soundproofed, Bella!" This time it was Rose.

She looked around, realizing where we were. "Well, shit."

I tossed her over my shoulder, fulfillment of some kind of caveman fantasy I didn't know I'd had, and returned us to the bedroom.

"Radar trouble?" I asked gently.

She shrugged oddly and I put her down. She was on me again before she answered. "Yes and no. It's like a muscle. I haven't been using it, that's all."

I wanted to continue the topic, but she put her mouth to work in other, better ways.

We didn't surface again until two days later, sometime around dusk, when the most offensive noise I could think of began blaring throughout the house at a volume that was almost painful.

"What the fuck?" I bit out, pulling myself up. I started to rummage around the wreckage of the dresser for some clothes, and Bella followed suit a second later. Her emotions read the same as mine; extreme irritation with a small dash of amusement.

"I don't know," she responded, "but whichever one it was, I'm going to kick their ass."

"My money's on Emmett," I told her. "Peter hates this fucking song damn near as much as I do."

She nodded, pulling a shirt down over herself - something I viewed with a bit of regret - and headed resolutely for the door.

In the living room, we found all both prime suspects, looking for all the world like they were just lounging leisurely. Except the huge, shit-eating grins on their faces.

"Turn this off. Now," Bella ordered, irate. "I didn't sign up to have this shit stuck in my head for the next 50 years, so you dickbags better have a good reason."

"Fuckbag, dickbag. The abuse I take," Peter said with an air of drama.

"I will rip your arms off and use them to tear down the house until this noise stops if that's what it takes," she threatened.

Emmett cast a glance to me that clearly asked for help, but if he actually expected to get it he must have forgotten who the fuck I was. I took a ready stance behind my woman, arms clasped behind my back, and smirked.

"If you were hopin' to induce a fit of newborn rage, this was a fantastic fuckin' idea," I told them. Bella's small level of amusement was quickly vanishing, and while I could stop her from making good on her threat, I had no intention of doing so. The damn song was already stuck in my head for fuck knows how long. If I managed to get it out by the time she was through with them, I might take pity and reassemble them. Maybe.

"Alright, alright," Emmett pulled a remote from his pocket and, with the press of a button, stopped the sound. He placed the remote on the table and backed away with his hands up.

After a few moments, during which Emmett and Peter kept glancing between Bella and I and each other, and Bella glaring daggers at them both, I got impatient.

"Now would be a good time for you boys to explain why that was necessary."

Peter, recognizing my tone of voice, chose to get smart. "Look, we tried everything else short of walking in on you two, and you ignored us. We had to get your attention."

"Ever hear of fucking knocking?" Bella asked, clearly not placated.

"We did," Emmett offered. "Your headboard was louder."

"That's bullshit. We broke that days ago," she returned steadily, without a hint of shame. I cracked a smile at that. The only piece of furniture that had survived this week was a smallish end table.

"Well, I don't know! It was some piece of furniture, or something, and I wasn't about to walk in there and find out!"

On that point, Emmett was probably smarter than anyone usually gave him credit for. Vampires weren't generally known for their modesty, but Bella being newborn and our bond still being so fresh in relative terms...he wasn't wrong to use caution, there.

"But 'Cotton Eye Joe'? Of all the songs you could have used? You could have picked something _good_!"

Well, that was an improvement. There'd be no rage-fuelled outbursts if Bella was arguing about musical taste. I found myself a little disappointed.

"We didn't want to take the chance you'd just adjust to a new rhythm," Peter explained, wagging his eyebrows.

"Point taken, but I want all copies of that song erased, broken, burned, whatever. It's banned. Literally anything is better than that torture track," Bella demanded while conceding.

"Even 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'" Emmett ventured, unwisely.

"Gods, I had almost, blissfully, fucking forgot that song existed," Bella moaned.

"Alright," I interjected before the conversation devolved into a list of the most irritating songs of all time, "What was so important to interrupt us for anyway?"

"Visitor, I think," Peter scratched his head. "I can't get a read on who or when, but Holly and Garrett should be back soon too, anyhow. Thought you might not appreciate being caught with your pants down for either event."

"Yeah yeah, very clever, you're hilarious. Time frame?"

"For our two, a couple hours, I think. The other one...I don't know. Sometime in the next day, I think? It's all kinda fuzzy, but there's no negative vibe."

Bella cocked her head a bit, studying Peter, before she hummed thoughtfully. "I think that might be Ruby. When I lived with her, I'd get readings like that sometimes, but I always just chalked it up to disuse. Definitely not the Volturi, not yet."

After a couple more minutes of small talk, we went back upstairs then to get properly cleaned up and dressed - and destroy that end table. I really did hate to leave anything unfinished.

By the time we emerged, Charlotte and Rose were back from their hunt, and we all gathered, waiting for the arrival of our newest addition.

"This is kinda creepy," Bella said. "We're just gonna sit here and wait for them?"

A wiseass remark from Peter about patience being a virtue when your time was unlimited earned him a smack. More physical abuse ensued when my mate informed theirs about their creative strategy to get Bella and I out of our room.

The front door admitted a grinning, immortal Holly just as Rose was demanding Emmett tell her where he'd stashed the tracks - apparently, she'd banned both immediately after they were released.

There was no round of squeals, or ooh's and ahh's and telling Holly how great she looked. Instead, there were big smiles, quick hugs, and some winks, like there was nothing out of the ordinary. Holly immediately assessed the situation and joined in the beratement and threats being rained on Emmett and Peter while Garrett walked in after her, stopping next to me.

I noticed his contentment, which was new, and the way his eyes never quite left her. "Things go smoothly?" I asked.

"For the most part. There was a bit of a mess during her first hunt, but otherwise it's been tame. If I hadn't seen what happened with Bella, I'd consider her an anomaly."

"Maybe they are," I said thoughtfully. We'd already discussed Bella's theory about newborn behavior before and it looked like maybe she'd been right, but it could also be that her family were just...special. I still had some ideas about this little group and fate, though I didn't voice those musings to Garrett. I hadn't even talked about it to Bella yet, and, to be honest, I didn't really have anything concrete to say. No conclusions, just a hint of an idea about a reason and no answers.

Our conversation was finished, so Garrett went to join the group. I watched them for a little while, but I didn't feel compelled to join them. Instead, with a reassuring smile to Bella, I slipped out the back door. It had been a while since I had had the chance to sit and gather my own thoughts.

Before Bella, I'd had plenty of time for introspection. I'd been left to my own devices pretty often, unless someone wanted something from me. Maria never gave a rat's ass what I did when I wasn't fighting her battles, and Alice...well, I used to escape from Alice as often as she'd let me. She was downright exhausting most of the time. They say hindsight brings clarity, but looking back, I still didn't know why I put up with her. Kicking me out was probably the best thing she ever did for me.

I felt a gentle prod at the bond, Bella's way of reminding me not to go too far down the path of dark and brooding thoughts. Things were different now, things were good. Or they would be, after this next last step. Bella didn't seem to be overly worried about the arrival of the Volturi, and neither did Peter, so I had no real reason to be. Still, it would probably be a good idea to start Bella and Holly on some training, and see what gifts besides the obvious had survived or manifested during their change.

My mind was occupied for some time with training techniques, fighting styles they should learn, and the best ways to bring out their gifts, if need be, when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned slightly, not unnaturally, and watched as a woman came out of the woods and walked steadily toward me.

"You must be real brave or real stupid," I said quietly, feeling her out emotionally while I signalled Bella silently. She was calm, for the most part, determined and a little nervous, and there was something else there that felt a lot like affection. I had no idea where that one might be coming from.

She smiled. "Neither, really. Actually, I just wanted to talk to you alone, first."

"And that's why you came out of the woods behind the house instead of ringin' the doorbell?"

I knew better than to move until I had more information, like who the hell this was and what she might be capable of. Clearly she knew who I was; maybe she knew enough to realize that just because I looked relaxed didn't mean I actually was.

"Exactly."

"Little risky, don't you think?"

"Maybe, but I expect my time to be a little monopolized by the women in your life for the next few days."

Ah, there it was. And speaking of women, where was mine? "You must be Ruby," I said aloud.

"Bella's fine, Jasper," she spoke, waving a hand, like all of this was just normal. "She just knows to give us a minute."

"What is it that's so important for you to say to me?" I asked, a little rudely.

She continued her approach, stopping next to me and studying me for a minute. "You probably don't realize this, but this isn't the first time we've met."

I said nothing, watching her, caught between the idea of a person that Bella had told me about and the woman in front of me. I'd always assumed from the way Bella spoke that she wasn't quite human, but I couldn't make out exactly what she was, either. She had an ageless kind of quality I'd only seen in vampires, but lacked our pallor and sheen.

She nodded at my inspection, as though she expected it, and continued. "It was when you were still human, of course. I've got a lot of explaining to do, I know. I just wanted a moment with you, first. So I could see."

"See what, exactly?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

She shrugged with a small smile. "It might seem to you like it all revolves around Bella, but it doesn't, you know. It revolves around you too, like you revolve around each other, even if you don't see that yet."

She looked at me a moment longer, and I felt the fondness and affection from before, but it still wasn't adding up for me. The feelings she seemed to have were those that might be expected from a family member, or two friends who had been separated for a very long time.

"How did you say you knew me?"

"That is a very long and complicated story," she said apologetically, spreading her hands in a gesture matching her tone. "But I promise I'll tell it soon."

"How soon?" Bella said from behind me, and I turned to see her standing in the doorway.

The two women looked at each other for a long minute; Bella was defiant and uncertain but she still held a lot of love for Ruby, who mirrored her emotions with a twist of resignation and regret.

Ruby softened first, sighing. "I imagine as soon as we're finished with introductions. I have a feeling you won't be patient about this."

"You're right. You owe us some answers," Bella confirmed, moving to me and tucking herself into my side under the arm I'd offered her.

"I do," she agreed, smiling again at the sight of us together. "But I couldn't give them to you before now."

Bella gestured toward the door, and we followed Ruby inside when she entered. Introductions were as brief as they were odd; Ruby seemed to know everyone already, and nobody was particularly surprised about who she was.

We all settled in the living room once the pleasantries were finished. Ruby looked around at each of us and smiled to herself, but there was an ache of loneliness in her that tainted her satisfaction and happiness at seeing us all together.

As she settled herself in her seat, Charlotte offered, "This might be a long conversation. I think there's still some human food in the house, if you'd like."

Ruby sighed. "There's really no point, dear, but thank you." As she spoke, she pulled a light from her pocket and leaned forward, placing it on the table. It glowed brightly, but the swirls of several shades of pale purple were visible underneath. When she leaned back, the confusion and surprise from everyone in the room hit me, somewhat hard, until Bella put a hand on my arm to shield me.

Ruby, her vampirism now clearly obvious, noted the gesture with slight disapproval, "You should be able to do that without physical contact."

"Is that really what you came here to say?" Bella responded, irritation seeping into her tone.

"I - No, it isn't, but the fact remains. Have you even tried?"

"No," I said, hoping to deflect. "We were...busy."

"Oh, indeed!" Ruby laughed, and it seemed to break the tension a little, until she went quiet. It seemed like she was searching for what to say next, but Bella was unwilling to wait.

"How can you laugh and smile? You left, you left me with a note. And then you just...what? Where were you while I was running from Coen? Where were you when he was here, trying to kill us? You could have helped! You said you know Jasper, but if that's true and you're a vampire, how could you let him go through all that? You just show up here unannounced, after years, and you're laughing and smiling as if it's all okay. You're looking at us like we're a victory for you, and excuse me, but you weren't here, you weren't part of it, and you didn't help, so please, explain this to me," Bella demanded. I kept an arm around her, but she made no move to advance or attack.

Ruby shook her head ruefully, "No, darling, you have it wrong. You aren't a victory or a prize for me, but it does warm my heart - and yes, there is some satisfaction there. I can laugh and smile because I feel relieved. I left because I had to, and I didn't interfere with you or with Jasper because it was forbidden. I did my best to help where and when I could, but you each had to live your hardships and face your demons on your own. Now that Holly has been changed, so have the rules."

"What does Holly's change have to do with any of this?" Bella asked.

"She's the last of her bloodline. Surely you knew that."

"Yes, but why would that matter?" Holly asked, hurt at the reminder. Her brother's loss was still fresh to her.

Ruby sighed, "Didn't you go to the wolves?"

"We did," Bella told her indignantly. "You said they had answers we needed, so we went. But all we learned was their origin."

"And did you put together what the story left out?"

"That the woman was fae and the man was her mate? Yes, of course. I don't see how that has anything to do with us, or with Holly, though."

Ruby's eyes narrowed a bit. "It has everything to do with all of you, now. The woman spelled her entire line to be protected in case _her kind_ came looking for her - and their gene is activated by vampires, specifically. You didn't find that part odd?"

"Not especially," Bella admitted. "The links between fae and vampires are pretty numerous."

Ruby's eyes closed for a moment, and her expression closed off. "You're right about that much," she muttered.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Charlotte interrupted, "But you can't possibly be annoyed about this. We've been piecin' together puzzle after puzzle for weeks just fine, but nobody can solve one with only half the pieces. Are you tryin' to tell us that vampires and fae are the same? Because that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, considerin' everythin' else."

She sighed, "I suppose you're right. Maybe it was a little too much to put together, without the context. Very well then. The woman in that story was half-fae, half-human. In that time, it wasn't exactly common, but it wasn't uncommon, either. And her fear was valid, until she cast the spell she did - which, by the way, was extremely clever. She managed to morph her magic into something that would reject vampirism entirely - effectively excluding her line from the curse - at the cost of all magical abilities, save one," she looked around, hoping to find something she clearly didn't, and sighed again. "I suppose it's best to begin at the beginning. You'd all be wise to get comfortable."

I let a wave of relaxation out, and there was some shifting, but she didn't wait or pause before she launched into the story, "Millennia ago, there were many more types of what would be considered magical or supernatural creatures, and they were much more common. Fae were among the most prominent of those, not only because of the amount of magic they held, but because they held no fear of humans, and had no desire to harm them. Some species hated humans, some were just animalistic, but most fae found humans to be fascinating and spent quite a lot of time among them.

"Some fae gifted humans with power. If the human was very lucky, it would extend to their offspring for generations. That's how witches came about. Others found love with humans, and had families with them; their children were wildly gifted, but not quite as strong. As those children had more children with humans, the bloodlines thinned and so did their gifts, for the most part. I imagine this is something you'd already put together, though."

There was a round of nods from the room.

"The part you don't know, is that not all fae were very happy with the sharing of power. Creating witches was one thing, to them, but some felt that to share their power with humans in such a way was...distasteful. Or dishonorable, or disgusting, or unnatural, I suppose. The point is, there was a division of ideologies, and many small disagreements and protests eventually became fully-fledged prejudice and hatred. It culminated in a sort of war, one which decimated the fae population, which was not large to begin with.

"Fae aren't really good or evil. We are all both sides of that coin, and I guess it would be accurate to say that was reflected in our fight. One side wanted the freedom to continue fraternizing with humans, and the other felt it should stop completely. The details of the battles aren't important now; what's important is the outcome, which was a stalemate. Neither side could have what they wanted without the complete destruction of the other, and someone, at some point, saw fit to cast an enchantment over the entire race. I believe the logic was that by removing the ability to procreate with humans, the conflict would effectively be erased. It was meant to be a compromise.

"Whether the spell went wrong or was tampered with, I do not know, but the end result was, in short, vampirism. As far as I know, it didn't affect any of the offspring immediately, but the aftermath for them wasn't pretty, either. Most were hunted down and changed, or maliciously killed. It was easy for the newly turned who were so inclined, because they felt an intense draw to those with the same power they had. Many were very angry about the changes and opted to take it out on those that, in their view, were the source of the conflict to begin with. It was a very bloody time.

"Those that survived did so by going into hiding, and for the most part, they had help, but even that was not a guarantee. Even the vampires who wanted to help felt the draw, and so some were turned, rather than outright killed. That's how they learned it was even possible to turn another."

There was a heavy silence as Ruby paused, until Peter grumbled, "Char was right. There was no way in hell we could've put that together."

"You're right," she admitted. "But it's still important to understand."

"It still doesn't explain why Holly's change mattered, though. We're of the same bloodline, Charlotte's of that bloodline, too," Bella said.

"Well, I wasn't entirely finished. All of that happened around three thousand years ago. In the first few centuries, many of the original vampires were killed. Over time, those that were left began to disappear, until, eventually, they were all gone."

"So that's what Carlisle saw referenced in the Volturi library," I mused out loud. "I knew those things were full of propaganda bullshit."

"Indeed, they are," Ruby readily agreed. "What was Carlisle able to glean?"

"Nothing useful, he told us. He mentioned he had seen that the last fae was destroyed five of six hundred years ago, and that the death fulfilled something," I said.

"Five or six hundred years sounds about right, but as far as I know she wasn't destroyed, exactly. It's assumed that those that disappeared had figured out how to end their existence entirely, and chose to take that route. Pity he didn't look further. For such a studious man he did seem to take things at face value far too often," she responded thoughtfully. "The last original vampire - the last true fae - being gone _was_ significant, though. When they began to die and disappear, their bloodline ties to humans became...different. Where before, it took maybe ten to twenty or so generations for fae blood to thin to the point of a human being, for all intents and purposes, normal, after the death of the ancestor fae, it seemed to crop up from time to time in those humans' lineages. Like the magic was trying to keep itself alive. And then, those humans seem to find each other, combining those bloodlines, like it was trying to coalesce. That final death opened the possibility of finally finding the remainder of the descendants of the fae."

"But why did you need to find us at all?" Bella asked. She was mostly curious now, as we all were. Ruby had called her story long and complicated, and she was definitely delivering on that count.

"Well, there were some who looked for you from the beginning, to protect and keep safe, to prevent you from being turned and damned to this kind of life. It's hardly idyllic, living in the shadows and killing others to survive. Predatory, murderous impulses and prone to fits of rage and all that, never able to sleep," she waved a hand. "Most fae didn't take the transition well. Oh, they could be perfectly vicious when the situation suited, but that's entirely different...and I'm digressing.

"Anyway, it wasn't long after the initial bloodbath had mostly died down that we began to look for a way to reverse the effects. It was determined fairly quickly that there was no cure possible - a cure would strip our magic, and after the transition we could not survive without it. So then the hunt began for something else; a way to change aspects of it, to make our existence more tolerable and less deadly. If it was done with magic, it could be changed with magic, right? Only, it turned out not to be quite that simple. Because the enchantment - vampirism - had spread beyond the originally intended hosts to include those with fae lineage as well, we couldn't change anything at all until _all_ those of fae lineage were under the effects. That's why Holly's change is significant. She's the last one."

"But wouldn't that extend to the human population, too?" Peter took the question from the tip of my tongue, his thoughts likely back in the Southern Wars with mine.

"No," she answered. "The enchantment was meant to target fae magic, and that's what it does."

"And the wolves?" Bella inquired.

"Again, no. I told you that one was particularly clever. She wasn't the only one to do it, either, and I have often wondered where they got the knowledge of how. What they did, as I understand it, was use their personal magic to morph the magic in their children into something that would distinctly reject vampirism. The going theory is that because all those who did it died, and the fae magic no longer technically existed in its native form anymore, that the enchantment considers those bloodlines to be extinct."

"I don't understand," I told her. "You told me you knew me as a human, but it wasn't you who changed me. Why not? Why not just track us all down and change us, and be done with it? You could have had the job accomplished centuries ago."

"Believe me, that would have been easier," Ruby admitted, "but we were warned by someone with a seer's gift that the bloodlines needed to be allowed to come under the enchantment through natural circumstances. Nothing could be forced, or we would fail. Besides that, some lineages were harder to trace than others. Some gifts are more dominant, some are so subtle when they do manifest that they're virtually undetectable unless the person tells you they have it - if they even know they have it. Finding you all was far from an easy task, let alone watching you, waiting for the one to be turned, and keeping track of them once they did."

"Keeping track can't be all that difficult," Rose argued. "Most vampires gravitate to the Volturi, and they manage to keep tabs on the ones who don't."

Ruby smiled knowingly. "Yes, exactly."

Shock and confusion flooded the room again, and Rose argued, "So what, you're Volturi? Carlisle never mentioned any vampires there named Ruby."

"I never met Carlisle in the flesh, but we heard quite a lot about each other, and I'm quite sure you've heard of me. You see, I adopted the name Ruby fairly recently. My actual name has fallen into disuse and would stand out quite a bit, I'm afraid. Not so great for staying under the radar."

Brow furrowed, Emmett said, "That doesn't make any sense. The only Volturi Carlisle never met was Didyme, and that's because she died."

"Well, nobody goes looking for dead people, do they?" she responded snippily. "It was my job to find you all, watch you and guide you as best I could. What I'm telling you here isn't exactly knowledge most vampires are privileged enough to gain, you know. There are those that would have stopped me, tried to stop us."

Peter spoke again, his arms folded over his chest. "The Volturi haven't been around that long."

Ruby - Didyme - waved a hand in dismissal. "It's easy to spread disinformation when it suits, dear. Tell me, girls, have I lied?"

Reluctantly, Bella and Charlotte both shook their heads.

"We haven't always been the ruling group, that much is true, but again, it couldn't exactly be common knowledge what we were up to. When the last fae disappeared, we decided to step up our presence. It made our job easier," she explained.

My mind was whirling, trying to fit everything together, but something stuck out to me. "You can project. Didyme, her gift was said to be the gift of making others happy."

She inclined her head with a smile. "Among other things, yes. And yes, that does mean what you think it does. You're descended from my line, although you're a far more powerful empath than I ever was. Even magical gifts require latent talent, you see. They manifest according to the individual's strengths. That's why it's so rare for two to have the exact same talent, even in the same line."

"But Peter and I -" Bella started, but Ruby was already shaking her head.

"Not the same, dear. Your intuition fades when you don't use it, as you well know. It's because you get distracted and miss things more easily than he does."

Bella blinked, and then narrowed her eyes. "If you have the line for empathy, how do you know so much? You said 'among other things,' but if gifts run in the blood…shouldn't J have more?"

"Not necessarily," she replied. "Fae were like any other creature, with strengths and weaknesses. Some were astute with empathy or intuition, others had talents for seeing, or for physical magic. Not all fae had all the possible abilities. I told you some abilities tended to be more dominant than others, and that's true. In Jasper's case, the empathy won out. If I'd been born that far down the line, there's a good chance I'd never have had a gift at all.

"As it stands, I have more because my ancestral links to the fae are so close. My great-grandmother was fae. I can project happiness, that's true, but I cannot read feelings. I can shield myself, after a fashion, from being viewed psychically if I wish it, but that's also weak compared to your ability, Bella. My knowledge comes from many, many years of experience and watchfulness, and through a telepathic link to a seer. My only actual talent is in the ability to see the bonds between people, which is why I was the one tasked with finding you," she finished.

"That's Marcus' ability," Rose observed.

"It's mine, but he borrows it," she said, regret coloring her tone as though she'd said a little more than she intended. "Our bond allows that, as your bonds allow you to borrow each other's strengths."

I shared a look with Bella at this. The only telepathic link we'd ever shared was with each other. Ruby wasn't coming out and saying as much, but it sounded an awful lot to me like Marcus was the seer, and kept his ability hidden behind her own. It was a solid strategy, I thought. I'd seen people try to take advantage of Alice for her gift many times, but Alice was always so self-centered, and it wasn't as easy as many people assumed to simply avoid making decisions, or to make false ones to throw her off. Depending on the limitations of her seer, keeping their identity hidden to prevent interference could be extremely important.

Rather than allow that line of questioning to continue, I diverted the topic. "So, Holly's the last of her line, and now there are no humans left with fae lineage, is that correct? What's that got to do with all of us? Why even tell us all of this?"

She looked at me gratefully, and explained, "She's not the only one in this group who represents the end of a line. In fact, the only ones who don't are Peter and Charlotte. As for the rest of it, I'm telling you because...well, we need you."

Bella went stock-still, hurt and disbelief tearing through her. She stood abruptly, and gave Ruby a nasty glare, snarling, "You've got to be fucking kidding me." And then, she was gone, out the back door and into the woods. Her feelings reverberated, and I was on my feet after her before I thought better and stopped.

I addressed Ruby, who had a shock of pain on her face, "You know, for someone who did so much watchin', you sure missed some shit. She's probably out there thinkin' the only reason you ever bothered with her, or with us, was so you could fix somethin' she doesn't really consider broken. Just like every other asshole who got close because they wanted something from her. Is she right?"

She faltered for a minute before she answered, "No. I mean, I watched her because I had to, but no, the rest was because I cared. I really wasn't supposed to interfere at all, but I still did what I could..." she trailed. I looked at Charlotte for confirmation, not trusting my own ability - she could just be so upset because she thought Bella wouldn't help, after all.

At Char's nod, I replied, "Then I'll bring her back, and you are gonna fix this," I ordered. "None of us are doing a damn thing for you without Bella's say-so."

Not bothering to wait for a response, I took off after Bella.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:**

**Obligatory disclaimer, stuff about who owns what. Yep.**

**It feels silly to keep thanking people for continuing to read this and review on it, but there it is. You guys inspire me and make it fun to keep on going.**

**And of course, special love to EllieFayeT, who continues to be a sounding board for my ideas and my whining when my characters just won't do what I want them to, and who pre-reads for me without complaint.**

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**BPOV**

I ran for a few minutes before deciding that if I was out here, I might as well see if I could combine levitating and running. I was satisfied by the time I reached the waterfall Jasper and I had come to before, having achieved something like a high-speed moonwalk. It was childish and unproductive, but I was distracting myself - not that being distracted was really very difficult.

I sat down on a moss-covered boulder on the edge of the basin under the falls and let one foot down to touch the water, the other curled beneath me, to wait for Jasper. I knew he'd follow me, not in a petulant sort of way, but because it was just how we were. I used the time to try and be rational about all this. It wasn't really my strong suit, and I was still having a hard time focusing on much of anything that didn't revolve around carnal instinct, but now was as good a time to start as any.

It wasn't really very often that I let things run so close to the surface, and it unsettled me. Anger? Yes. Hurt and actual vulnerable feelings? No. Logically, I knew Ruby - well, Didyme - no, she was Ruby to me - probably had her reasons for everything. And yet, emotionally, I couldn't control the surge of betrayal. She'd been the only person in my life since my parents died, before Jasper, who really just wanted to hang around me, for me. To find out that that was not actually true...it hurt. I didn't know how much of our relationship had been because it was necessary for her and how much had been because she actually cared.

Did it even really matter? Regardless of her motives she'd still helped me out, let me know I wasn't alone and helped draw me out of my shell. She'd been there when I needed someone, and perhaps that was all there was to it. Would it really change any of that to find out her intentions hadn't been entirely selfless?

Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would. I knew I'd need to go find out from her one way or the other before I could make an appropriate decision.

J arrived shortly, taking a seat next to me on the boulder. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my head, but didn't say anything. For a while, we sat still, my foot still drifting lazily along the water, and I allowed him to comfort me.

"I know I have to hear her out, J. I just couldn't…"

"You had to get your head straight, I know," he responded gently.

"Was she pissed that I left?"

"No. I don't think she thought you'd take it like that. She does care about you, you know."

I didn't have any response for that. Did I know? Did I want to?

"Tell me somethin'?"

"What is it?"

"Well, didn't you say she was your great-aunt or somethin'? I mean, how could you believe a load of shit like that? She doesn't look all that old," he asked playfully.

I swatted him, "I don't know! I was young, I was alone, and she was there. I didn't question it. Renee had me young, and her mom had her young, too. I never knew grandma or anything about her family. Maybe she had younger sisters." I shrugged.

"You should be more vigilant about these things," he said half-seriously.

"Sir, yes, sir," I mocked.

"As much as I like where that might be goin', we really should head back," he said.

I didn't move. "Do you think she was right?"

"About what?"

"The bond," I said. I didn't elaborate. I didn't need to.

"Well, it's a theory worth tryin', I guess. If you can get her alone, you might want to ask her about that telepathic link, too. Sounds an awful lot like what you did in Atlanta."

"I thought so, too."

Feeling better, I stood up and smiled at Jasper as we brushed our clothes off. "Come on. I'll show you my new moves on the way."

We arrived back at the house laughing, mostly because I'd tried to lift Jasper when I lifted myself and we both wound up stumbling a few times.

"Maybe it wasn't the best idea to try that in the woods."

"Probably not," I agreed, "but it was still fun."

He shook his head, but there was a smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and I knew better.

"Are you good?" he asked me, concern etched on his face as he looked toward the house.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I told him. It wasn't exactly the truth, and he knew that. The thing was, I didn't think I could really be okay without getting the rest of the story out of her and finding out what it was that she wanted. "Let's go."

I didn't know what to expect when we walked into the house, but the scene in front of me was definitely not it: Six vampires with their arms crossed, glaring at Ruby. As it took in the scene, it hit me that at the end of the day, whether or not Ruby was using me _didn't_ actually matter. I didn't need her anymore.

I had my people right here: the kind of people who would stare down a known member of vampire royalty. Whether it was entirely on my behalf or she'd said something else while J and I were gone to deserve it was entirely irrelevant.

These people had stuck by me and saved my ass. They showed up for me and they stayed when shit got rough. They took on a crazed psychopathic witch for me. If I said no to whatever Ruby wanted, they would stick with me for that, too. Hell, they had already come to grips with taking on the fucking Volturi for me.

And I'd barely given them the time of day since my change. I was really racking up asshole points.

I felt a touch of something I took for an admonishment, mixed with some encouragement. J nodded at me, in affirmation of my epiphany as much as to let me know it was time. We took our seats back, facing Ruby, and I waited for her to speak.

She had taken the scrutiny of the rest with grace, not showing it visibly if it made her uncomfortable, but once we returned and sat down that changed. She shifted in her seat, an unnecessary action that wasn't lost on anyone in the room. She looked to Jasper first, which irritated me. By the time she actually met my eyes, I knew I was wearing my full bitch face.

When it became clear that I was not going to offer her a leading question, she let out a small sigh and, finally, she spoke, "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to blurt things out in that way."

"But you did," I answered.

"Yes, I did," she affirmed, expelling a breath through her nose. "I assume you feel somewhat used, and you're not entirely wrong. I watched you because I had to, and I left you because I had to. I did not, however, have to approach you, or stay with you. I did those things because I saw a bit of myself from a darker time in you just then and didn't want you to be alone. I gave what guidance I could, even knowing it might be overstepping a line…"

She trailed off, and as she searched for her next words, I found mine.

"It doesn't matter anymore. You did what you did, and I'm grateful for that. But you're not here now just to check in with me, are you?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

It surprised me somewhat that this answer still hurt a little, but maybe less so than I would have expected. She didn't even say that was a part of her reason. How much could I fault her for that, when sparing feelings was certainly no strong suit of mine?

"What is it you need?"

"Straight to the point, then?" I nodded. "Very well," she continued, "the bloodlines represented by your coven, but most especially by you, are the ones we have come to believe are needed. We believe we have the resources necessary for you to modify vampirism. For all of us."

I sat back on the sofa, dumbfounded. Holly seized an opportunity to speak, "So you don't even know how to do it? You just think you have the shit you need in order for us to figure it out for you?"

At least Ruby looked a little chastised. "Remember what I said about gifts as opposed to talents? You, Bella, and Charlotte are from the only fae lineage that still exists with the ability to channel magical energy. Outside of your family, the making of dust has been lost for many centuries. This coven represents not only the needed bloodlines, but a unique combination of abilities and talents. We've researched for a very long time, but without anyone with the needed lineage, it's all speculation. We need your knowledge, intuition, talents, and your bonds."

"Most of our knowledge came from the journals you gave us," I argued.

At this, she gave me a sideways glance. "Yes, but there are more."

"You could read them yourself," I insisted, "You don't need us for that."

Ruby's lips pursed and her face took on a sour look as she answered, "I cannot. Fae are secretive by nature. Some of the tomes are bound by blood enchantments," she explained.

I wondered inwardly what it was about this revelation that made her so reluctant to share it. It was almost the same way she'd reacted earlier when she let slip that Marcus borrowed her gift.

"So you can't modify the enchantment without us, because you can't access the information you need. Why not just say so?" I asked aloud.

A look of surprise passed her face for a fraction of a second, almost too quickly for me to be sure it had been there. "It's more than just that. We're fairly certain at least one fae whose lineage ends in this room was involved in the original enchantment. If so, there might be information about it in their texts."

"You didn't answer my question," I pointed out, choosing to file her comment away for another time - it might be interesting to persue that line of conversation, but it was an obvious attempt at misdirection. "Why give us some crap line about needing to channel when all you had to say was that you don't know what's in those books?"

"Because she didn't want us to know that she didn't know," Garrett responded in an easy tone that contradicted the hard look he was fixing Ruby with. "She's put some effort into seeming like she knows everything, and us discovering that she doesn't weakens her position. If she doesn't have the answers, she becomes fallible. We might not need her."

I regarded Garrett for a moment, thinking about the implications of his statement, and I felt Jasper's silent agreement.

I looked at Ruby. "Why do you want us to need you? What modifications do you want us to make, exactly?"

"Nothing negative, I don't think. Most of us would agree it would be nice not to have to drink blood and to walk freely in the sun." She completely ignored the first question. Of course.

"It would be nice," I agreed, "But it's part of the trade off. No living existence is idyllic or perfect. We have enough traits that give us an edge over humans. What you want me to remove are the things that keep our species in check."

"What I want you to remove are the things that make us barbaric and cruel."

"I disagree. All beings have the ability to be cruel. Our immortality and indestructibility give us the arrogance to cave to that more than other beings. That's not down to drinking blood."

"Perhaps not, but when you need to kill to survive it certainly doesn't help matters," she argued.

"Everything needs to kill something else to survive, unless you're telling me you'd like me to turn vampires into plants? Venom to chlorophyll might be a difficult conversion," I answered, unable to resist snarking a little. Her evasion tactics and cryptic remarks were pissing me the hell off.

"You are an ignorant child," she responded fiercely. "You have not yet felt the repercussions of your affliction. I have walked this earth for more than three thousand years. Trust me when I say that your perspective on this will change."

"Maybe it will," I allowed, "But so far you're not convincing me of anything."

"Could we have a moment alone to discuss this?" Rose cut in diplomatically, addressing Ruby.

I resisted the urge to keep arguing, figuring that if Rose put herself in the middle of that, she must have something important to say.

With a curt nod, Ruby swept herself out the back door and into the woods without another word. Everyone in the room waited a few minutes before speaking.

"I don't trust that one," Garrett declared, breaking the silence.

"She hasn't lied that I can tell," Charlotte said thoughtfully, but Peter shook his head.

"She said she could shield herself psychically, and she fucks with the radar easily enough. It's worth considerin' she could also lie to you," he said gently.

That unsettled me a little. He did have a valid point. I looked to Jasper for his assessment, which he readily gave, "We were just talking about this, Bella. It wasn't a matter of you not paying attention or being willfully ignorant - she lied to you when you met her, about who she was. You might not have known about the ability then, but that doesn't mean you didn't have it. I'm inclined to think you had that even before Edward left."

I wasn't sure about that last part, but I dipped my head in agreement anyway. "Alright, so we should assume that she can lie to us. That doesn't mean she is, though. She seems hell-bent on directing the conversation away from the topics she doesn't want to discuss."

"You're right," Garrett agreed, "All this means is we treat her with as much suspicion as we might treat anyone else. I, for one, have lasted a long ass time without a built-in lie detector."

Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper murmered agreement, and I saw their point. These were warriors, after all. They'd all survived the closest thing to hell on earth I'd ever heard of, so it made sense they knew a thing or two about dealing with untrustworthy people.

"Aren't we going to talk about the rest of it?" Rose demanded, somewhat impatient. She was on her feet and her stance said she was ready for a fight.

"Why don't you start?" I said, managing to keep my the annoyance from my tone.

"You were about to say no," she accused. When she realized I wasn't going to argue - it was true, after all - she continued, "Without talking to the rest of us. Without taking our opinions and our experience into consideration. I know you have a lot of opinions, Bella, and I respect them, but Ruby wasn't wrong when she called you a child to this life."

She wasn't trying to be offensive; I knew this was just her way. Still, it stung a little. "Maybe I am, but can any of you honestly tell me I'm wrong? If we remove the need for blood and the need to hide, what are we?"

"Free!" she said, full of passion and ready for a fight, but she deflated when Jasper spoke up.

"Something to be feared, even more then we are now," he said seriously.

"And humans have a penchant for killing things they fear," Garrett added.

"They can't-" she argued, but was cut off again.

This time, surprisingly, it was Emmett. "They can, babe. Once they know about us, they'll figure it out. It's already in the myths they have. They have the tech to make it easier than ever. There's a reason we stay hidden, and it's not because the sun makes us into instant party favors. It's for our own safety," he said. She stared at him with a mixture of anger and incredulity, and he took her hand. "I know you hate this, babe. I know you want a change, and you want to live normally. I get it, I really do. But this isn't the answer. It would go badly, you know it would. Most vampires wouldn't see it as innocently as we do. I don't want to see that play out. I'd rather have forever with you as we are."

The fight seemed to go out of her then, and she sat back down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her arm in a comforting gesture.

"So that's it, then? We just tell her no?" Charlotte asked, displeased.

"Do you have a better idea?" I responded.

Holly chimed in, "Well, she doesn't know what she even has. If she has texts bound to our blood, I'd argue those are ours by right. I want them."

"I doubt she'll just hand them over," I said, feeling a little stupid at the knowing looks I received before I was even finished speaking.

"She won't, darlin', unless she thinks she's gettin' somethin' out of it," Jasper said quietly, close to my ear. If the room were full of humans they wouldn't have heard him, but as it stood, they just waited for me to catch on.

"It's nice to be honest, Bella. We all appreciate that about you very much. But you won't be immortal for long unless you know when and how to lie," Garrett said, not unkindly.

"So, what? I tell her we're up for it and we get our books, then just nope the hell out of Volterra? How's that going to work?" I said, embarrassed and feeling put on the spot.

"In a nutshell," Peter shrugged.

"She doesn't know what she has, Bella. She only said she _thinks_ they have the resources we would need to do what she wants. What if there's something else there? Something she doesn't know about? Maybe we can find a way to make some modifications that wouldn't shake up the world," Charlotte said reasonably.

The hope on Rose's face at her words was almost too much to bear, so I looked away. When I did, though, I saw it in varying degrees on all of their faces.

I huffed a little, "This won't work, guys. Part of the reason I'm so honest is because I'm a shit liar."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you've got a mate that can help with that," Peter shot back cheekily.

Jasper favored me with a small smile of agreement, and that was all it took for me to cave. It would probably be a damn long eternity if I never learned to say no to him, but when he looked at me that way, I'd do just about anything.

"Fine. What's our plan, then?"

"Nothin' crazy," he assured me. "Tell the truth: we convinced you to change your mind. She doesn't need to know the specifics. If she asks, we'll make shit up for you."

"And in the meantime, she does still have answers we need. Might be wise to try and get back on her good side and get them from her," Charlotte added, ever the voice of reason.

"Yeah, I guess it might be," I sighed. "Should someone go and get her?"

"No need," Garrett said. "She'll be back soon enough."

An hour or so later, his words proved true. As she approached the house, I went outside to meet her. I wanted a word alone.

"I realize this is the pot calling the kettle black in some ways, but you probably could have been more tactful," I said frankly as she approached.

"When you've walked this earth as long as I have, you learn that tact and feelings are sometimes of limited value. Would it have changed the outcome of the conversation?"

"No," I admitted.

"Well, there you have it," she said, with an air of irritation.

"You can't seriously have expected me to react well to all of that being dumped on me at once. You know me better than that. You have to. Anyone who's known me for longer than five minutes knows that," I chastised.

"Shockingly enough, the world does not always give us the time we would like to adjust to new information, Isabella. Far be it from me to expect you'd used the years since we last saw one another to grow up a little."

I was watching her, though, and condescending though the comment was, I could tell that her disappointment in my earlier response was driving the shortness of her words now. Maybe I'd been playing this whole thing wrong from the minute I took off.

"The way I remember it, you haven't always been the picture of maturity yourself," I told her. "I remember more than a few adventures and mishaps during our time together."

She cracked a small smile at that. "Yes well, acting your age all the time is overrated and boring," she said matter-of-factly, in direct contradiction to her earlier scolding.

"Nothing to do with just liking a little mischief, then?"

"I haven't the foggiest clue what you could possibly mean," she sniffed.

"Right," I laughed, and her smile widened.

"I have missed you, Bella. I apologize if I made it seem as though I never cared. I did, and I do...it's just that in such a long life you become accustomed to viewing people as temporary fixtures in your life," she explained. "Maybe I've become a little too detached to it all."

"You never seemed detached before," I pointed out.

She hummed in agreement. "Our time together was a welcome respite for me. Watching from afar gets quite lonely, you know. I took advantage while I could, but leaving was harder than I expected. And now, you have a family of your own, and the time is coming for me to return to my mate…"

"True," I agreed, "But that's no reason to act so distant now. Maybe you should take advantage again. We are a fun bunch, you know."

"I know," she smiled. "And I assume you want me in a good mood so I can answer all your many questions."

"I think it's mostly Char with the questions," I told her honestly, looking down at my hand and spinning the band around my finger.

"Mostly," she said knowingly.

"Yep."

"What about my question?" she asked.

"I'm surprised it took you this long to ask," I told her.

"I've had a lot of time to learn to be patient," she offered.

"Fair," I said, turning to face her fully. "We'll help you, but when we're done, we want those books. If they're keyed to our lineage, they were meant for us to have."

"Is that all?"

"For now," I told her. We'd discussed more, but we'd also agreed to keep some things closer to the chest, until we knew what we were dealing with.

"That's quite an open end to leave," she observed.

"It's quite a big favor to ask of us. Of me. My opinions on the matter haven't changed, but my coven seems to see some validity to your point of view."

"I don't know if I can get you leave to take the books," she said thoughtfully. "And really, this would benefit all of us - your own coven seems to agree."

"You said yourself that there would be those who would have tried to stop you. Something tells me that the entirely of the vampire community might not be on board with this plan. We're going to be making a lot of enemies here, I think. I'm new to this negotiation thing, but I'm pretty sure the possibility of mortal peril for myself, my mate, and my coven should earn us a few unspecified favors from those in high places."

"Perhaps," she allowed. "I'll do what I can to fulfill your requests."

"Good," I said seriously. "So what now?"

"Now, I send word to Volterra that they should abandon their current travel plans and prepare to receive guests, instead."

"Awesome," I said, unable to resist the sarcasm. The others had told me there was a good chance she'd want us to go to Volterra, but I'd been hoping to get out of it. The idea of the place creeped me out. "Let's go share the good news."

Ruby rolled her eyes at me, but followed me inside without comment or hesitation.

"So, we're going to Volterra," I announced awkwardly as we entered. Nobody looked surprised.

"When?" Jasper asked, suddenly at my side and looking intently at Ruby, who had a faraway expression on her face.

A few moments passed before she appeared to snap back to reality. "Tomorrow," she answered. "There'll be a private plane waiting for us in Seattle."

Peter clapped his hands together. "Travelin' in style!"

"You're such an idiot," Holly said. "Does the private plane negate the need for passports?"

"Who's the idiot?" Peter replied. "Good thing you're pretty. I had paperwork done for you the day after you showed up. You're really ungrateful, did anyone ever tell you that?" he mocked at her scowl.

"No need to provoke the newborn, Peter," Jasper warned.

"She just makes it so easy," he complained. That earned him a smack from Charlotte, and Holly threw me a wink. An outsider might assume they hated each other; in reality they just found one another fun to mess with.

"Hm," Jasper responded, noting the whole exchange with a smirk on his face. "Well, looks like we got some time to kill. Packing up and closing down the house won't take long."

"I hear some of you want to pick my brains," Ruby offered.

"Can we do that a little later, preferably with some booze?" I asked. "I don't mean to be rude, but this day has been a little much. I need a break."

As much as I wanted to hear whatever answers Ruby had to give, even if they were suspect now, I was on track to have a tantrum or meltdown of some kind or another if I didn't have a reprieve. It had been a day full of emotional upheaval and big decisions and having to agree to do shit I didn't particularly want to do. Vampirism seemed to have regressed my maturity, because all I really wanted to do was act like a wild teenager, give in to every impulse, and have no responsibility whatsoever. I could only hope that when all this was over I got some of that kind of time.

"Why don't we go do the packin' now, and meet back in a couple hours?" Jasper suggested diplomatically. I was grateful and a little embarrassed. It felt like all he'd done since my change was placate me and play babysitter. He looked down at me when he registered my feelings, and tugged my hand in the opposite direction of our room and all the things we needed to pack. "Come on, sweetheart. We're takin' a detour."

I let him lead me downstairs and to a room off the extraneous kitchenette that I hadn't known existed. "What is this?"

"Storage," he said, opening the door and gesturing for me to enter.

I looked around for a minute before registering what the contents of this room actually were. When I did, I turned to face him, letting my disbelief and confusion speak for themselves.

"I had Rose and Emmett clean the house out before we arrived," he said. "Anything that might be triggering had to go. You were under enough stress and I didn't want you to feel any more uncomfortable than necessary, even though this was the best place for us to be. I told them to save these things, though. I kinda had a feeling we might need to revisit this little event."

I was already walking through, studying it all. I let my fingers brush over the piano's surface - the part of it that wasn't destroyed - and considered his comments. "Why? I thought this was behind us?"

"It is," he agreed, "But it was more significant than either of us thought, I think. I don't remember doing that," he said, pointing to the large hole just a few inches from my fingertips. "Do you know how rare memory loss is in vampires?"

"Very?" I guessed.

"It's unheard of," he confirmed. "I don't know that I've ever told you my side of this story. You brushed it off as forgiven and then you told me about cutting yourself. You know the aftermath but...the truth is I don't remember what happened. I remember you cutting yourself, and then I remember being outside with Emmett and Rose trying to calm me down. I felt their understanding and Edward and Alice's anger. That's it. They all chalked it up to the bloodlust making me crazy, but I don't think that was it."

"You don't?" I asked, trying to remember, myself. Everything had happened in a sort of blur. Examining the memory again was like watching a home movie, somewhat hazy and unclear, like all human memories. Still, looking back at what my mind had preserved, I couldn't say one way or the other. His eyes were pitch black and looked crazed and never left me, but he didn't seem to be actually going for me. His body was angled, just slightly. If he hadn't been stopped, he'd have run smack into Edward.

Sensing my surprise, he smiled slightly. "I take it you remember more than I do."

"Not much," I answered. "Enough that I think you might be right. What do you think it was?"

"Can't say for sure. I have nothin' to reference it against. But I know what else I have nothin' to reference against. Us. Our bond. Nothin' about that has been normal. It should have been impossible."

"Well, I was kindof one-of-a-kind for a while there," I said.

"You still are," he told me. "But I don't believe I was gonna kill you, Bella. I don't know why I don't remember it, but I do know there was a reason they worked so damn hard to keep us apart in the aftermath. Alice admitted it too, before she died, remember? She knew it was always gonna be you and me. They both did."

"I know," I told him honestly. "So why are we down here?"

"So we can both let go. These are the reminders..." he sighed. "I don't know how to put it into words, if I'm bein' honest. I just felt what you felt up there, and I thought it seemed like a good time for this. You should never feel bad for me, or embarrassed. I'm here, I love you, I will always take care of you, and you should never doubt that or feel like a burden on me. You aren't, and even when you are, it's one I carry happily and willingly," he asserted.

I closed my eyes and let myself take it all in. With Jasper, there was never just words with tone or inflection, but a whole myriad of emotions to go with it. I let them cover me like a warm blanket before I replied. "Sometimes I am a giant pain in the ass. I know this. Lately, I feel like more of a pain in the ass than usual. It's infuriating, knowing you're acting like a spoiled brat and being unable to stop yourself. Even when I can, it's hard to maintain that control," I confessed. "I don't love the idea of you having to babysit me. I know it's not avoidable for now, but I still don't have to like it."

"It's much less of a bother than you seem to think, and less than we were all expecting. It'll pass," he said.

"Everyone keeps saying that. I get it. I just wish it'd pass a little faster, so I could have a conversation without creating innuendo where there is none, or getting annoyed just because they aren't you. I appreciate you running interference when I get overwhelmed, but I wish you didn't have to."

"Why does it bother you so much when I take care of you?" he asked, not angry but a little frustrated. He crouched a little to meet my eyes and seemed to search them as he asked.

"I don't like being the weaker half of us," I admitted.

He took my hands in his larger ones, his thumb absently running over my ring. "There is no weaker half of us, Bella. There's you and there's me, and we have almost two hundred years worth of baggage and issues between us, but there's no stronger or weaker in this equation. Is that how you thought of me before now? Bein' weaker?" His words were gentle, but full of conviction, and I knew the question was rhetorical.

"No, of course not," I answered anyway, not knowing what else to say.

"You told me once, not very long ago, to not ever think of myself as bein' less. Do you remember?"

"Yes."

"Do you not think that applies both ways?"

"I don't know," I answered. I did know, but I felt bad enough that I wanted to hear it.

"It does," he said firmly. "You have to trust that it does. I know you've got this thing about bein' independent and able to stand on your own, but you gotta trust me. You have to know there's not a thing in fuckin' creation that would make me even consider leavin' you."

"I know that," I said quietly.

"Good. 'Cause we're about to head into a goddamn viper's nest. We can be weak with each other, but we can't show them that."

"How bad is it?" I asked honesty.

"I don't honestly know. I've never been there. I've heard stories, though, and I've been in vampire social structures, so if that's anything to go by...pretty bad. I wouldn't trust anyone outside our coven."

"Holly, Rose, and Em won't have experience with that," I pointed out.

"Garrett will fill Holly in, I'm sure. She's gonna have to check herself a little more while we're there. I'll see if I can catch Rose and Em privately, if Peter doesn't get there first."

"Why don't you go check on that while I pack up what's left of our room?" I asked.

"Alright," he agreed. "Just don't handle anything you're not sure of. I'll grab the rest later on."

As we exited the space, I turned to him, "J?"

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"Burn this shit, okay? That chapter is over," I told him.

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.


	28. Chapter 28

**JPOV**

I found Rose and Em as agreed, but Peter had already gotten there, the fucker. Turns out we were both a little late; Carlisle had been a little more candid with them about the Volturi than I ever thought possible. It surprised me some, but then again he and I had never talked about his time there, really. I have to assume he figured I knew the drill. It's not like I can ask him now.

I figured it would be best for Bella to let her pack as much as she could on her own. She was better with the motor control at this point than she gave herself credit for, and any kind of confidence boost right now was a welcome one. Instead, I went to go make sure we had booze in stock and set up for yet another Q&A session.

Finding us to be out of whiskey, I turned to go let Bella know I'd be running out. Crossing the living room, Ruby stopped me.

"You shouldn't need to go up there," she informed me.

"How do you know where I do or do not need to go?" I asked her, quirking an eyebrow and stopping myself just short of sneering.

"Bella wants a drink, and you went to check the kitchen and came out empty handed. I can only assume you're out of whatever she prefers and need to let her know you're going out for it."

I didn't say anything, allowing my silence to be my assent. I didn't trust her, and didn't have a problem making that clear.

She waved a hand lazily. "I assume you're familiar with meditation?"

"Of course."

"Clear your mind, then form your message and will it through the bond. She'll get it."

There were a gamut of questions that ran through my mind, but the one I managed to blurt was "Why would you tell me this?"

She shrugged. "It's something only true mates can achieve, and even then, not all can. There is a certain amount of magic required to make it work. Peter and Charlotte might be capable of it, now that her magic is unbound," she said thoughtfully. "It's common among the older pairs of mates, changed when the magic was stronger in their blood. Not so much in the last thousand years or so."

I stared at her for a minute, mulling the information. "Does that mean the others aren't true mates, or that they don't have enough magic?" I finally asked.

"Magic," she replied. "I assume you've spent some time wondering about this?"

I nodded shortly, monitoring her closely for even the smallest trace of deceit. She might be able to trick the intuitive gifts, but emotions rarely lied if one knew what to look for.

"That makes sense. The type of bond you have isn't something I'd expect a vampire of your age to have seen, especially living in North America."

That made some kind of sense. I knew of very few vampires older than Carlisle who chose to make their home in this area of the world. Even if that were not the case, why would they discuss the ins and outs of their mate bonds with perfect strangers?

As I thought about this, she continued, "Yes, all the bonds in your coven are true bonds, rare as that is. Rose and Emmett's is perhaps the most subtle, and obviously your bond with Bella is the strongest."

"And Holly and Garrett?" I prompted.

"Will likely fall somewhere closer to Peter and Charlotte. I could be wrong. I don't know much about Garrett, honestly, and their bond is still so new, it's hard to say where it will fall."

"I thought it was your job to watch us all."

"It was. Garrett's family was already being watched by someone else. They declined to relinquish their responsibility."

Well now, there was an interestin' little tidbit. She made it sound like a privilege. Something to consider later, for sure.

"Do you have more questions, then?"

"Not right now," I told her. As it was, I'd have to relay all this information to everyone else piecemeal unless I could get them all together again before we left.

"Well then, give it a try. It's not going to take her that long to pack the room," she said.

Having little choice and being eager to test this out I did as I was bid, sending Bella the message, along with Ruby's advice on how to do it. I was only mildly surprised to receive her equally surprised message back.

It must have registered on my face, however.

"Told you it'd work," Ruby said, a bit smug. "Can I offer you one more thing?"

"What is it?" I asked, not unkindly.

"I couldn't help but overhear earlier. Whoever built this house was oddly selective about what to soundproof," she started.

"Most of us consider it common courtesy to ignore conversations they know they shouldn't be hearing, to give each other at least the illusion of privacy," I all but snarled, instantly angry that she'd intruded on something so private and then felt the need to bring it up.

She held her hands up in surrender, "I know that, but Jasper, the loss of memory...that's abnormal, you are correct. It doesn't happen in vampires, at least not spontaneously."

"What are you saying?"

She regarded me for a minute, and then responded, "I know of a fae line that has the ability to manipulate memory. It's a rare gift, and most of them are dead now, but one still lives, I think, unless he died very recently. He could not remove the memory entirely, as I recall, but instead suppress it to the point of irretrievability."

"What good does that do me?" I asked her, still annoyed.

"I've been watching you a long time, Jasper, and I know you a little better than you think. This hole bothers you. I don't think the person I have in mind can undo the damage, but for what it's worth, it sounded to me an awful lot like his handiwork. If you had people in your life with an interest in keeping you and Bella from realizing what you were, then it makes sense they might have enlisted his services."

"Are you implying that I knew it, all the way back then?" This made more sense than I wanted to let on. If Alice had seen what would happen, she could easily have had someone there. In all the chaos, it's unlikely they would have been detected.

"You'd have known as soon as you smelled her blood in the open air, once her fae abilities activated," she said gently, but matter-of-factly.

More revelations. More to think about, when I already had so much on my mind. Filing the information into the 'Unhelpful, but Nice to Know' cabinet in my head, I thanked her and left as quickly as I could, hoping I might still make it back before Bella finished packing.

I returned from the successful booze run just as the last of the bags were being hauled into the entryway area. Deciding on another test, I mentally asked Bella, _How'd it go?_

_Fine. I managed to pack everything. There was one unfortunate casualty: a picture frame._

That was fine with me. There were no frames of any value among our possessions that I knew of, and I relayed as much as I handed her the bottle, along with a pack of her favorite cigarettes. She hadn't smoked since her change and I didn't know if she'd still enjoy it, but I wanted to give her the option anyway.

She took them with a wave of gratitude and settled on a sofa as Ruby breezed in with a tray she'd dug up from god knows where, full of the few bottles of booze we'd had left and glasses for everyone. I took my perch beside Bella, wrapping an arm around her and relishing the contact as everyone else got settled.

Over the following few hours, Ruby answered most of Charlotte's questions and the followups. She explained that she'd watched Charlotte intermittently from a young age, as she had all of us. Ruby had approached her brother after he'd bound Charlotte's power to protect her, furious that he'd done so. He'd explained himself and then given Charlotte's possessions over to Ruby then to hold onto until Charlotte or some descendant of hers was ready and it was safe, not wanting them to fall into the wrong hands in his coven. Ruby did not tell him Charlotte's fate, figuring it was kinder to him if she simply disappeared, but accepted her things with the intention to give them back if ever given the opportunity. In addition to the journals and lights she'd already returned, there was a set of gems.

"Everlasting stones," she called them, " They used to be quite common, but not so much anymore. We don't know how to make them anymore and like most small things, they get lost easily over time. When I learned there'd be eight of you, it only seemed fitting. I'd always intended to give them back anyway. They were yours by right," she explained. Something held all of us back from asking any more about them, even though it was clear there was more to the rings than just being made to last. If they belonged to Charlotte beforehand, it meant they were likely an heirloom passed down by and meant for her family. Possibly even made by them. If Ruby did not already know their mysteries, then they were not hers to know.

Bella did, however, inquire after the necklace that had been left to her. Ruby had confirmed that it was made of similar materials, and that it carried an enchantment, but nobody seemed to know exactly what it did. Over time, the necklace had been known to both amplify and suppress power, and didn't seem to have a set of criteria for when it did what. She knew that it was important Bella have it, but, after some prodding, reluctantly confessed that she didn't know exactly why, only that Bella would know when the time came.

She reiterated what she'd told me about bonds, and expanded on it a bit. Mating bonds, she told us, were sometimes referred to by older vampires as the "soul-link", a fae trait that had a chance to trigger when two individuals were similar in magical strength and had a certain level of compatibility. It was as rare in fae as it is in vampires, and she speculated that it might be the basis of the human concept of soul-mates. The strength of the bond was largely dependent on both magical capability and the actual compatibility of a pair, but even weak bonds were coveted.

It wasn't hard to see why.

Even without my own experience, the ideal of someone to spend eternity with was an attractive one. That, Ruby said, was why some vampires did mistake extreme attraction for a true bond. Despite our coven being made up entirely of truly mated pairs, it was actually quite a rare thing.

Most who made the mistake did forge bonds, of a kind. They were not as strong, but they were strong enough and not to be taken lightly. Some, she said, did look remarkably similar to a true bond. She reasoned it was because the strongest bonds were those that were chosen and accepted by both parties; true bonds that were fought against were often weaker than forged bonds that were not.

Coven, familial, and even sire bonds were forged bonds, she explained. They lacked the physical aspect of a true mating bond, and most of its abilities, but they did tether people together with a fierce, unbreakable type of loyalty. I understood this already - it was what I'd had with Peter from the beginning, and Charlotte later. I'd always kinda figured it was because of the venom sharing, but this explanation made sense, too. I'd never formed bonds with any of the Cullens because I'd never felt I really belonged there; I was there for Alice, and that was all. Considering Rose and Emmett now, I wondered if we all might have known that was the case on some level. We never forged bonds simply because we all knew I wouldn't be sticking around forever.

When she commented that when we were all gathered the bonds almost hurt to look at, there was a swell of pride and smugness around the room. I understood it - hell, I contributed a bit to it - but it also worried me. The Volturi were not rumored to take it well when a coven rivalled theirs in power, and her comments were confirmation to me that she saw exactly what we had here. Given her reluctance to share certain bits of information and how much she seemed to freely give out, I had to wonder what her motivation was. Why empower us further? Were the rumors wrong? Did she just not care? Or did she have a trump card yet to play that made it all irrelevant? The thought was worrisome, but there was nothing I could do about it for now except keep my eyes open.

Garrett caught my eye and sent me an intentional wave of feelings which mirrored mine on the subject. He was a little more in tune and alert than the rest of us when it came to these things, which was probably how he'd managed to survive so many wars and nasty situations. His communication served to confirm my own thoughts on the matter, and I acknowledged as much with a slight nod, masked as a shift in position so Ruby wouldn't notice. It was never a bad thing to be too careful.

As the conversation moved away from questions and toward stories about each of our families, I allowed my attention to wander a bit more, feeling everyone out for their underlying state of being. It required a little more concentration than reading surface and reactive emotions - that happened almost passively, if I was paying it even an ounce of attention. Looking past the levels of surface interest, amusement, or occasional embarrassment - as well as the happiness that Ruby was projecting so minutely I could be relatively sure she thought I wouldn't notice - I was unsurprised to find everyone in the room a bit on edge. It took differing forms in each person, but it was definitely there: doubt, suspicion, unease, and tension contributed to a general sense of disquiet that everyone was doing their best to mask beneath the buzz of liquor.

Everyone, perhaps, but Ruby. She knew about my ability, and she accounted for it, hiding her true emotions under several layers that anyone would consider predictable. It was like peeling back the layers of an onion. A thin skin of warmth, willingness, helpfulness and happiness, followed by a slightly thicker layer of anxiety - presumably at being the focus of conversation, or possibly just to throw me off. Under that there was a current of eagerness and anticipation - I suspected this was probably genuine, and safe for her to use as a last defense because it was so thick and because she'd expect me to assume it was at returning home and to her mate. She might have been correct if I didn't find the fourth layer - full of smug self-satisfaction and a sense of triumph.

She hid it all well, and it made me wish I'd been paying more attention earlier on. Bella had spoken well of her and seemed to trust her, so I hadn't considered that I'd need to dig with this one. Few I had ever encountered knew how to mask their emotions so well, and most that did had learned it after decades around me. She must have prepared herself - and underestimated me. The emotions themselves didn't bother me much - there could have been a myriad of explanations for them. It was the fact that she tried to hide them that didn't sit real well with me.

Ruby said she knew me well, but she clearly did not if she'd thought she could get past my ability, and anyone else here would be quick to defend or explain away my withdrawal. Looking at it in this way, I was pretty sure the remark was just a good guess meant to make me think she had my measure. That kind of hole in a memory would bother just about any vampire, I'd wager. Especially such a key event. Her attempt to make me think I couldn't get anything past her only heightened my suspicion further.

I cursed myself a bit for being so distracted and not noticing any of this until it was too late, but it didn't last long. I didn't see how it could be helped. I had a newborn mate and a new coven; there were as many old bonds as new within it, and we hadn't had time to grow comfortable with one another. Besides, she'd almost got past Garrett and Peter, too. There was suspicion, and then there was knowing someone to be worthy of it. One of us always noticed something that got us to the knowing when we needed it to, but it had come too late this time.

We were doing what she wanted, as far as she knew. I couldn't see any way it could have gone differently, even if I had noticed. Our coven was stronger than the Volturi, but that didn't mean we'd win a fight without casualties. I was just going to have to hope there was something Ruby wasn't counting on in those books to get us out of this mess. It wouldn't be smart to even hope for an ally in Volterra. The wrong hope at the wrong time in the wrong place could get people killed.

A voice entered my mind, _I don't know what you're thinking, but I doubt you intend to be so obviously zoned out_ , Bella chided. True, I hadn't intended to retreat so far into myself, but it wasn't as if it couldn't be explained away. I glanced aside to look at her and noted the dreamy, faraway expression we'd seen on Ruby earlier. So that's what it was.

_Am I missing anything important?_

_Not particularly, I can fill you in later. It's just been a few hours, and it'll be time to leave soon,_ she replied.

That snapped me back to the present. I had no idea how long I'd been zoned out for. I heard a laugh in my head, _Don't worry, we covered for you._

I glanced around quickly while feeling Ruby out again and could detect no suspicion, so I figured they'd done a good enough job of it.

There was some lighthearted conversation while everyone finished their drinks, and then it was cleaning up and closing down the house. Not that there was anything to steal besides some glasses with the remnants of liquor in them and a whole lot of destroyed furniture. Given the number of dented walls and broken tiles, any vandals would probably assume someone else had gotten there first. I doubted it mattered much unless Rose and Em had plans to sell the place. I had no intention of ever returning.

* * *

**_A/N: I wasn't going to post any more until the entire thing was done...but well, I thought I could use some good news in my inbox in the morning, and maybe some of you could, too._ **

**_It's not beta'd, and so may change a bit when Ellie gets her hands on it._ **

**_Don't worry, I'm still working on this...almost there, I promise._ **


	29. Chapter 29

**BPOV**

The plane was as over-the-top as one would expect - red velvet and V motifs everywhere, even down to the uniform the pilot, who was clearly a member of the guard, wore. I mean, I understand they’re old and all, but don’t they have anyone on top of public image? So far, the whole theme was feeling very antiquated to me. 

In fact, thanks mostly to Jasper’s “Xanax cocktail”, as Rose liked to call it, I probably spent more time during our trip than was healthy pondering the image the Volturi were projecting. I mean, when you rule people that are a few minutes to a few thousand years into this life, it’s got to be hard to find a happy medium that would appeal to any kind of majority. Is there even a majority demographic among vampires that gives a flying fuck how the Volturi present themselves? Probably not.

All in all, I thought I did pretty well on the plane. No bouts of craziness, and the airborne tin can stayed intact. Despite the lethargic atmosphere, Holly did drag Garrett to the restroom once. I understood it, but man, there was not an iota of privacy there for our kind. Joining the Mile High Club would happen at some point, but on a plane full of beings with super hearing was not exactly what I had in mind.

Jasper seemed like he was stewing on something; I got a few glimpses of some frustration and worry along the way. I did my best to try and distract him, but I didn’t ask him what was going on. I knew it had to do with Ruby, and I figured he would either tell me when he was ready or I would bitch it out of him when it became an issue. For now, it really wasn’t one.

I understood his distrust of her. To be honest, she made me a little nervous, too. There was no way to know if she could lie to Char and I or not; the implications weren’t something I even wanted to seriously entertain. But I chose to look at the actions, too. She was under no actual obligation to give Charlotte her past back, or to stay with me for that year, or to even tell Jasper that she’d met him when he was human. I guessed that in a couple-few thousand years, your life, your perspective, and your motivations could probably become just a little bit convoluted and complicated. 

Maybe J was reading something off her that caused him to doubt, but he was an empath - not a mind reader. He could usually accurately guess the reasons for emotions based on context, but this wasn’t usual and Ruby wasn’t someone he knew well enough to draw those conclusions. In fact, I doubted anyone did, aside from maybe Marcus. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Jasper. It was more that I’d had more time with her, seen a different side of her than he ever had. Granted, it was a side she seemed unwilling or unable to show to anyone else at present, but it did make me think that there was more to her than just a total fraud. I didn’t trust her completely either. I just didn’t think she would harm us unless she didn’t feel she had another option. Kindof like those spiders that have super nasty venom, but aren’t aggressive unless threatened. Still a threat, and no small one, but it’s navigable. Maybe. Hopefully.

We landed outside the city and deboarded to find two more guards and one of those ridiculous SUV-limousines waiting for us. I could feel a little disgust from Jasper at the extravagance, but I was mostly grateful that the vehicle was large enough for our group to not need to be split. The guards stood near the rear door, passing us each a silver colored cloak as we got in. We paid attention to the interaction between Ruby and the guards, but there was no need. They didn’t appear to recognize her.

I didn’t really know what to make of the apparent dress code, but once we all settled things started to sink in. As I looked around the car, absentmindedly admiring the surprisingly modern-looking cloaks - the clasps were off to the left side of the wide necklines near the shoulder, held with inner closures so there were no visible buttons - the gravity of where we were and what we were doing began to mount in another part of my brain. We were in Italy, in a car on our way to Volterra. Volterra, the snake pit. The people there were much less likely to be like the non-aggressive spider. How the hell were we supposed to come out the other end of this shitshow unscathed? All for some really old fucking books.  _ Last time I listen to Holly, I swear. _

As my anxiety grew, another area of my brain began a running daytime talk show-like commentary about the inner mind workings of a newborn vampire.  _ And here we have Bella Swan finally showing her newborn in a stunningly inane set of thoughts that will literally not ever do anybody any good, least of all herself.  _

I drove myself crazy until Jasper noticed and pulled me closer to his side, wrapping a hand around mine so his gift would be more effective.

The ride to the city proper was relatively short and before I was really ready, we had pulled into a parking garage and the vehicle stopped. I was a little disappointed in some small, annoying part of my brain. I really wanted to pull up to some grand castle and make a big entrance, preferably with a long billowing cloak and my hair looking fabulous and being blown around by off-screen fans. It was a stupid, unrealistic plan. I could probably put that on my bucket list. With eternity to fill, I had to make it a long and ridiculous one.

The guards, who had introduced themselves as Demetri and Felix, led us through the parking area and into a large stone tunnel. At the end stood a heavy pair of wooden doors, which opened out into a somewhat narrower hallway than I would have expected. At this point, I realized that Jasper had been allowing me a little leeway; he gave me a bit of an emotional nudge and then withdrew his influence. From here, I’d need to mostly keep myself calm. Jasper would be too busy focusing on everything else happening to help my crazy ass.

We followed them, each silently taking our places in line. Demitri led, followed by Jasper and I, then Peter and Charlotte, Rose and Emmett, Holly and Garrett, then Ruby. Felix took up the rear of the procession. Both men seemed to be on alert almost as much as Jasper was, but they walked purposefully and silently until they had lead us to what appeared to be a waiting area, with a second door in another wall. It was nicely decorated, but there were no seats anywhere. We might not actually need to sit, but I wondered if this was a deliberate decision to create discomfort, or a mere oversight.

We were left to wait there ‘until the Kings are ready to see you’. I thought that was a little bit of bullshit. After all, they knew when we were coming, because they’d sent people to pick us up. This was probably some kind of posturing, to prove their status above us or something equally as absurd. I didn’t verbalize my thoughts, or anything for that matter. Nobody did. We had no way to know if we were being monitored, so silence was the best bet until we were able to meet the Kings and assess our situation. I was thankful in that moment to have a coven full of tactical thinkers, as we had not really had any time to work out any kind of game plan. That would have contributed to my nerves, if I didn’t trust my people as much as I did. 

The telepathy thing tended to make J and I look like we were in la-la land and miss things going on around us, so we had decided not to use it unless the situation was dire. I really wanted to, though. The silence was a total killer for my newborn anxiety brain, and I ended up occupying myself scrutinizing the paintings hung in the room to distract myself. The alternative was looking at my people, and that would surely lead to wagged eyebrows or faces being made, leading to laughter. I’ll admit, that would be a welcome relief, but it wouldn’t help us any to let our guard down just now.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Felix came back and ushered us through the second door. It led us directly into a large circular audience chamber that looked exactly how I’d expected it to: all grey stonework in a gothic motif, with deep red fabric panels for decor. How very cliché. We’d entered from the side of the room, and in the center toward the back the Kings sat on thrones which appeared to be mounted on a raised dais. There were two vampires standing behind each chair, and several more standing evenly spaced against the rounded wall. Everyone, I noticed, was wearing a cloak like ours. The Kings’ were of a dark crimson, and the rest were all in black. 

The man from the central throne stood and clapped his hands together. “Our guests have arrived! I am so thrilled! I do hope the journey was not too strenuous?”  _ Well, of fucking course not, dipshit. We’re vampires. Not much is really very strenuous for us, is it? Who is this genius? _

Jasper stepped forward, angling himself slightly in front of me while keeping me at his side.“It was pleasant, thank you,” he answered, dipping his head in a gesture of acknowledgement. This must be Aro, I realized. Marcus was easy to pick out - he was the one who looked like he was day-dreaming. That left the last King to be Caius, and he was watching us with great interest.

“Shall we have formal introductions? I am Aro,” he said, stepping forward with his hand outstretched to take Jasper’s. As he did so, I felt a twinge of smug amusement from Jasper. I had my shield up, naturally, and we knew Aro wouldn’t be able to read us. Hopefully he would also be unable to determine which of us was blocking him.

“Jasper Whitlock, sir. This is my mate, Bella, and the rest of my coven,” he introduced us, gesturing with his other hand. Ruby stood slightly apart, watching but obviously not part of our group. I guessed she needed no introduction to these men, but whatever kind of greeting I had expected to see between her and Marcus, this was not it. He hadn’t even glanced in her direction. None of them had. It was as if she wasn’t even standing there.

Aro moved to take my hand, but his plastered-on smile faltered when he did. He moved on to the rest of our group, taking each person’s hand as they bowed their heads and introduced themselves. I knew he was getting nothing from them, and I could see the slight signs of frustration on his face only because I was looking for them.

“A large group,” Aro commented, “and you’ve a shield among you.” His tone was deceptively light-hearted, the last bit delivered as though it were an afterthought. After a slight hesitation, his smile returned, more forced and false than before, as if that were possible, and he clapped again. “Very good! Allow me to introduce my brothers, Marcus and Caius.”

Caius dipped his chin in acknowledgement when his name was spoken, but Marcus ignored us completely, as he had been since we arrived. This seemed to annoy Aro greatly. 

“Forgive him,” he said offhandedly, “he hasn’t been the same since he lost his mate.” 

Wait, what? I  knew that most people believed Didyme to be dead, but she was literally standing  _ right there _ . The guards had seen her - she had a cloak. What the hell was going on, here? Another gift she didn’t disclose? I must have lost my impassive expression in the shock, because Aro’s face looked sympathetic for a moment. 

“Yes, I know, quite sad. It’s very rare to survive the loss of a mate, however, and...well, this is the unfortunate result,” he told me. “Do not worry, dear. This isn’t something we’d expect a newborn to understand.” I wasn’t sure what he intended, but the statement came out as patronizing and  condescending. Instantly, I disliked Aro greatly. 

“Quite a large and interesting group,” Caius observed in an even tone, changing the subject. “I see now why our plans were canceled. There are no humans among you. It appears our informant was mistaken,” he observed with annoyance in his voice.

“They may not have been at the time,” Jasper offered in a placating tone. “Bella and Holly are still newborn. They did live with us as humans for a time prior to their change.”

“Even so, evidently you weren’t as opposed to changing them as we were lead to believe. The Volturi do not appreciate being lied to. Not only do you not have any humans in tow, you’ve come willingly to present your new coven, and there has been no evidence of you amassing a force to overthrow us.” he presented his thoughts matter-of-factly, casting a glance at Aro that seemed to demand an explanation.

“I had no reason to believe her visions faulty,” Aro said in a dismissive tone. “Besides, we cannot know what they are planning. I can’t read them. I know you didn’t miss that much.”

I held my tongue as best I could, while Jasper sent me the resolve I needed to do so. First my intelligence had been insulted, and now we were being talked about as if we were not in the room. It was beyond rude, but it would not do at all for me to speak up just now. We did not want Aro to target me, especially if he was as close to unhinged as I was beginning to suspect. Just now, he had no idea which of us held the shield. It worked in our favor that he had not met any of our coven in person before. In this moment, I was very grateful for Ruby’s strange behavior as a slight distraction. I could focus on the puzzle instead of the insults and idiocy.

“Just because one has a gift which counters yours does not mean they are suspect,” Caius said firmly, looking at us intently. Jasper felt surprise at the statement, but he did not show it outwardly.

“Marcus! What do you make of all this?” Aro turned back toward the dais and moved toward Marcus, but did not reach for him. I thought that to be odd, for someone renowned for their love of knowing everything. 

Marcus appeared startled, blinking several times in rapid succession. “What?” he demanded, somehow managing to sound annoyed and bored at the same time.

“You retreat too far into your head, brother,” Aro chided. “We have guests.”

“Oh, yes,” he said tiredly. “I know. I did not go deaf or blind.” Aro huffed at this, but Marcus was unruffled by the other man’s antics. As he slowly returned to reality, he looked at our group with growing interest. He still didn't look in Ruby's direction at all, but I couldn't tell whether it was intentional or he just didn't notice her either.

“And?” Aro asked, with a quivering smile on his face.

“I see four pairs of mates, and a bonded coven. Quite a beautiful web they create,” he observed. Aro seemed to want more detail, but Marcus wasn’t interested in elaborating.

“And that’s all?”

“I quite agree with Caius,” he drawled, retreating back into his visions and effectively dismissing his brother.

“Well,” Aro faltered, plastering his fake smile back in place. “Maybe he is right. I must apologize if I’ve offended you,” he said eagerly. The man was positively unstable, I decided as I watched the scene play out before me. He switched gears on a moment’s notice, and beyond the fact that he clearly felt threatened by us, there was no way to know what was going on in his brain. 

“Not at all,” Jasper responded carefully. “I think I understand why you might be suspicious.”

“Oh please, do tell.”

“My ex-wife was never quite sane,” he hedged carefully. “She woke in a mental asylum with no memory of her human life, you know. She had a talent, but she was just as capable of making up visions and believing in those. Even though we parted ways before it happened, I believe seeing my mating sent her over the edge. So, she came to you, presumably for vengeance. I apologize for the inconvenience.” 

“Yes,” Aro said thoughtfully. “She did have some visions that could certainly never have come true.” Abruptly, he clapped his hands together again. “Well then, that’s all settled! Let’s start again, shall we? Get to know each other. You’re staying, of course?”

“Of course,” Jasper agreed with nowhere near the same level of false enthusiasm.

“Excellent! We have already had your accommodations prepared. Have you eaten recently?” 

“Yesterday, before we left.” 

“Pity, but understandable when travelling with newborns,” he said dismissively as he glanced at a guard and snapped his fingers. The guard in question, a small woman, stepped forward. “In that case, if you’ll excuse us. Chelsea will show you to your rooms.” 

“Oh, no, Aro. I’ll show them myself,” Caius said, rising. Aro turned, clearly not expecting this, and I felt relief and trepidation from Jasper. Who the hell was Chelsea? “I ate recently, and it is only good manners. We are the hosts, after all.” He walked past his brother and toward the door, and, with a nod to Aro so as not to seem rude, Jasper turned to follow him and signalled us to do the same. I was slightly dumbfounded at the exchange. Such a public correction from one leader to another in human society would have caused deep insult. Aro just shrugged with a gesture that looked very similar to “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Caius lead us silently down the corridors, deeper into the castle and in a different direction than the one we’d come in from. The walk was short enough, but tense. Abruptly, he stopped at another set of large wooden doors. “The small tower,” he told us as he opened them. “Usually it is unnecessarily large for our guests, but I think you’ll find it to be of perfect size for your group.”

We entered to find a circular common room with a spiral staircase leading up a balcony with five doors dotted along the walls at even intervals. Unlike the waiting room we had been in earlier, this room was clearly designed for comfort. The centerpiece of the room was a large sectional sofa that fit together in the shape of a circle around a round coffee table of dark wood. There were other, smaller sets of reading chairs with low tables set between them tucked under the balcony. There was just a single window, but it was large enough that the sunlight flowing through it lit the entire space easily. Along its bottom edge ran a plush bench seat strewn with pillows. Although the castle walls were the same grey stone as before, the furniture and decor were done in warm browns and deep, inviting shades of blue and green. 

Caius entered the room, closed the door firmly behind him, and proceeded to paw around the room. He worked at vampire speed to check the many present nooks and crannies in the main room before heading into each room in the upper level, presumably doing the same. What he was looking for, I did not know, but he didn’t appear to find anything. When he was satisfied, he turned his attention back to us. “It looks clean to me. My apologies, but one can never be too careful in Volterra. Sometimes it feels as though the walls have ears.”

Jasper quirked an eyebrow in response, now intensely curious what this was all about. Garrett stepped forward rather abruptly as he did so, coming to a stop in front of Caius and extending his forearm. The other man gripped it and they clapped each other’s backs briefly - a soldier’s embrace.

“So, is this our mutual friend?” I asked, unable to really stop myself. And I’d been doing so well, too. I felt Jasper’s disapproval, but what was done was done. Now I just had to hope it didn’t bite me in the ass.

Garrett nodded and turned to address Jasper, “Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I couldn’t take the risk.”

“Explain, please,” he replied. It was not unkind or harsh, but it was also a command and most definitely not a request. I had not heard Jasper use this tone before, and found I rather liked it. I’d probably like it more if he were using it for fun times, and not because he was just so on edge that even he was approaching a breaking point.

“It seems I owe you yet another apology,” Caius began. “The very simplest explanation here is that I am Garrett’s sire, but I’m afraid there is much more to the tale than that. There were nine in your party when you arrived, correct?”

“Yes,” Jasper affirmed, but he didn’t give Caius any more information than that, and he didn’t spare a glance at Ruby, who had perched herself along the large, rounded window seat to watch what happened.

Caius looked around the room with his brow furrowed before humming thoughtfully. “Because of our respective positions here, I believe the responsibility for creating trust falls on my shoulders,” he continued after a pause. “Allow me to explain some things,” he offered.

“I have come to believe there are some things in motion which one or both of my brothers have failed to inform me about. I also believe that is the real reason you are here now. You do not need to tell me anything yet,” he said, holding up a hand in a gesture of understanding. “I know that coming here was not your idea. Only the very arrogant or very stupid would present such a large and powerful coven in Volterra without a very good reason. It could, and usually would, be seen as a challenge or an insult. On second thought, it very probably did seem that way to Aro. Either way, assuming you also knew about our travel plans, I imagine if you were here for a confrontation you’d have preferred to do so in an area you were familiar with. No, you are not stupid or arrogant, and coming here was not your idea. Even if you are central to whatever plan they’re hatching, you did not birth it. Therefore, I will not press the matter of your missing party member for the moment. Until she makes herself known, however, I’m afraid I cannot help those I myself cannot trust,” he concluded.

I felt Jasper’s relief at his words, which was far more potent than my own. I knew only a little about Caius, but I guessed J probably knew a lot more.

Smirking a little at Rosalie and Emmett, who must have let their surprise show on their faces, he explained, “Oh, I imagine you’ve heard tales of my ruthlessness. It’s a reputation that serves me well, and I’ve done enough to earn it, but it’s not the entire story.”

As he turned to leave the room, Ruby spoke, “You should stay and speak with your progeny, Caius. I gather it has been some time since you’ve seen him?”

Caius stopped in his tracks, turning slowly with a cautious expression on his face. “Didyme,” he greeted. “Aren’t you dead?” The tone he used made it clear he had known she wasn’t all along. 

“For a little longer, I must be,” she agreed. “I do wish to see Marcus, though. I trust you not to tell Aro I am here?”

He nodded his assent with a solemn expression. With a grateful smile, she addressed me, “I’m sure you understand. I’ll be back soon.” With a somewhat mysterious smile on her face, she stood and made her exit from the room.

As the door closed behind her, Caius turned to face us all once more. “I think I am beginning to understand why you’re all here. Please, let’s sit. It appears there is much to discuss.”


	30. Chapter 30

**JPOV**

"I want to know what your purpose here is," I told Caius plainly. I did not believe he meant to harm us. If that were the case, he could have allowed Aro to try and burn us. Still, what I'd told Bella about this being a viper's nest was true, and Caius was a king. He may be Garrett's sire, but he's just proved that he held Didyme's trust as well. At least so much that he knew her death was faked and had kept the secret from Aro. I was not at all convinced that he would be on our side, however.

Caius regarded me, considering for a moment as he analyzed my words. "I've heard stories about you, Jasper Whitlock of the Southern Wars. A truly dangerous foe, they say. More beast than man most of the time. Never lost a fight, and only left witnesses when it served his purpose. A ruthless soldier, and a menace to the earth. And then you vanished. Nobody had seen you, heard of you. There was no trail to follow. Quite impressive, really."

I winced internally, but remained outwardly impassive as Caius spoke. "And yet, here you are, in a dangerous situation with much to lose, with a level head and no trail of blood or venom in your wake thus far. You and I have much in common, I think. We are both known to the world as men to be feared, and there is truth to that, but that is not all there is to us. I believe that we can help each other," he offered. I was wary still, and offered no response, but that did not seem to bother him.

"Allow me to be blunt. My brothers have lied to me since the day I was inducted to the guard. I have participated in what I now believe to be the slaughter of many who did not deserve to die. I believe you know what that feels like," he looked at me, and I nodded slowly. The shock felt around the room at his admission mirrored my own.

He continued, "I may not be able to remove the threat from you entirely or help you with all your problems. But I can give you a fair amount of protection while you are here. I can keep Aro from becoming a thorn in your side and the more dangerous of the guard from taking too great an interest in you and your coven. I can offer you counsel should you run into problems. If it becomes necessary, I can even get you out of Volterra safely and quietly," he offered.

"And what do you want in return for this?" I asked.

"I have spent hundreds of years picking at the knot of a mystery that I had almost resigned myself to believe could not be unravelled. I was almost certain that that reason you are here has to do with that puzzle; the appearance of Didyme cemented that belief. So, I'd be grateful for whatever answers you can provide. It's been an obsession of mine for many years," Caius explained, much to my surprise. I felt him out carefully, but there was no hint of deceit coming from him on any level.

"And, perhaps, a mutually beneficial friendship," he added. "The deception and politics of life here are exhausting. Beyond my mate, I have not met people as honest and disinterested in power as your group for many years. I find it quite refreshing."

While the compliment was nice, I did not quite know what to make of the context. How was he to know how honest or power hungry we were? We'd spent less than an hour in the man's presence.

_He's not lying, Jasper. Do you sense deceit from him?_ Bella's voice rang in my mind, to my surprise. I'd have to ask her about her decision to reveal this later. Personally, I was not sold enough on the idea of a Volturi King being an ally to show this much of my hand just yet. However, Bella did have a point. I did not sense any lie in his emotions. The man seemed earnest and wary at first, and now he was mostly hopeful. There was no attempt on his part to mask anything. _Ruby can lie to you, maybe he can lie to us as well_ , I argued back.

_I don't think so. Garrett trusts him, and he took a big risk coming to us like this,_ she pointed out. She was inexperienced in situations like this, but her voice echoed the arguments I was having with my own self just then. If it were just myself I had to worry about and not everyone I held dear, I would have given him a tentative trust and gotten down to business a while ago.

"How do you know we are those things?" I finally asked.

Caius smiled. "I have a subtle gift of my own, you know. The gift of being able to read a person's intent. All your coven seems to want is to finish your business here."

Well, that was unexpected. Caius was widely thought to be ungifted. There were rumors of a gift, but since there was no agreement between them on its basic traits or strength, I'd never taken them seriously. I'd been right not to; every rumor I'd ever heard had been way, way off the mark. His willingness to disclose such guarded - and potentially useful to us - information reinforced what Bella was saying. Telling us about his gift had evened the playing field, so to speak. Finally, I let my guard down some.

"Are you expected anywhere any time soon?" I asked him.

Caius looked relieved. "No, I spend most of my time among the books or with my mate. They will assume that is where I went. I rarely see my 'brothers' unless there is cause. Sometimes it can be months."

I nodded. "Let's get to know each other better, then. Your explanation has left me with many questions, and I'm sure you have plenty for us."

We spoke with Caius for several hours afterward. While it was not uncommon for a vampire of his age to have stories to fill months of time, he kept his tale straight and to the point.

Apparently, he was the youngest of the brothers, sired by Marcus after a battle which had left a human Caius about to die. He had begun in Volterra as a member of the Guard and worked his way up, finally gaining equal footing with the brothers shortly after the Volturi had overthrown the previous leaders. He was told it was a reward for his outstanding service, but Caius said he was also relatively certain that the reasons had to do with his gift's usefulness and as a way to keep him from going off on his own after everything he had seen and done.

One of Caius' duties as a guard had included watching certain human families and their descendants. He was not to change them or interact with them in any way, just check up on them at regular intervals and keep track of their whereabouts and lineage. He was never told the reason, and he did not question it, sensing no ill intent.

Around the time the Volturi had seized power, things had begun to change. Caius was sent out to eliminate several other types of magical creatures, mostly shapeshifters. He was told they represented a threat to all vampires, and while that was certainly not a lie, the deceit he sensed when given the orders led him to believe it was not the only reason. As he methodically carried out his task, no group gave him any answers - they'd all reacted badly to vampire presence, and so Caius had done what he had always done - exactly what he was bid.

It wasn't until the final group, the shifters known as the Children of the Moon, that he was finally given a clue. Shortly before shifting to attack him, triggering the battle that would end their clan, one had told Caius something that piqued his interest greatly.

"'Your life it is not what it seems, vampire,' he told me. 'At base we are the same. It's only the mutation of the magic that makes us different. If I were you, I'd wonder why it was so important that the other mutations went extinct.'" Caius recounted. "And then he decided that since I didn't, I was too stupid to live. Savage creature, but it made me think. When I returned from that mission, I made it my business to suss out the truth."

In the many years afterward, Caius had done his best to piece it all together. He'd tried carefully questioning his brothers on the matter, but they'd dismissed him and insisted the animal was not to be trusted. He might have believed them if not for the intent behind their words to make him drop the topic. They knew of his gift and knew how to focus their intent so that he could not gain everything, but that was enough to tell him he was onto something important.

He turned to the library, found a frustrating lack of information and a lot of references to other texts that turned out to appear blank to him. For many years, he had thought those texts were put in the library by mistake or to misdirect. He knew much of the literature in the libraries was skewed or edited, but he was never informed about any books _meant_ to be dead ends.

It was actually Carlisle who had tipped him off that the books were not really blank, and only by chance - once he had caught Caius thumbing through a volume, and asked him why he was reading a blank book. Caius had stared at him in shock, and Carlisle had simply backed away, assuming Caius was not in the mood to be interrupted. It was then that Caius realized the books that were blank to him were not blank to everyone; that there were large amounts of information that he simply did not have access to, and that he didn't know who might. He wondered what it was about the book he was holding that made it so he could read it and Carlisle could not, but he never found an answer for that, either.

Over the centuries, Caius had managed to piece together little bits here and there; he knew it had to do with the fae and their descendants, and that vampirism was somehow tied to both, but he was never able to get an idea of the whole picture.

We relayed to him a short and concise version of the history Ruby had given us, omitting as much as we could about our own gifts and talents. When we explained about the bloodlines, he looked almost awed.

"So that is why they all seemed to disappear, bit by bit. I was not the only watcher, that much I knew, but I hadn't realized…" he trailed, mystified. "I saw hints, in the books, that there were descendants and they were important, but nobody I watched ever seemed to show any signs. The closest thing to magic I ever saw personally were Garrett's family, and they were witches."

"Why did you change him, if it was forbidden?" Holly asked. She seemed not to care that it was probably a rude question, and a private matter, not to mention just a tad bit off topic.

"When they tried to relieve me of my charges, I refused to give them up. By that point I had my suspicions. Didyme had disappeared shortly before that, and I knew she was a watcher too, but her families weren't reassigned that I ever heard of. That, and Marcus' lack of rage in reaction to the news of her 'death', were how I came to the conclusion that she was not actually dead...but that is another topic," he explained. "When each family died out - some naturally, but most ending up as vampires, I felt I had failed them in a way. I went to go check on Garrett's family only to find the area at war, and Garrett dying of a nasty infected battle wound. I didn't want to lose the last connection," he shrugged. "It had been my responsibility for many hundreds of years. I thought, if most were destined to be changed anyway, surely I could have this one."

"You never bothered to tell me that," Garrett noted with amusement.

"Yes, well. You've got a big enough head as it is," Caius returned a bit gruffly.

"I didn't know your family were witches," I said, looking at Garrett.

He shrugged. "It hardly seemed relevant. I was never trained. It was a dangerous thing in my time. They'd burn you at the stake if they even suspected."

"So why did you come, then? When Peter called you?" I asked him, a little frustrated now. I didn't doubt Garrett's loyalty, but clearly there was something here that I was missing.

"Because it involved magic," he said matter of factly.

"And because I had asked him to look out for any real magic in the world at large," Caius offered. "I thought it was possible some had slipped through the cracks. Witch families were watched much less carefully than some others."

"We know that much," Holly pointed out. "Obviously nobody paid attention to my coven."

"Coen was not a direct threat to vampires," Garrett said reasonably, ignoring her attitude and pulling her closer in a move to calm her. It seemed to work, but as she settled against his side, she muttered, "Yet."

"On the whole, witches are a limited threat against vampires," Caius confirmed, "but I believe they stopped being watched because their magic has a tendency to weaken over generations, not strengthen. They also seem to lack the predisposition to ending up vampires that most of the other families possessed.."

"We're both vampires," Holly argued, but Caius simply shrugged.

"We're getting off topic," I cut in. "What's done is done and we can't expect answers for everything," I told Holly, understanding her desire for an explanation, but recognizing that there just wasn't one. We had enough to worry about at the moment without adding in trying to determine how likely witches were to become vampires. I turned to Caius. "If you and Garrett trust each other for this, then you must have a visible sire bond. Why did Marcus not mention it?"

"I do not know, I've been wondering that myself," Caius admitted. "Nobody here in Volterra knows I ever created any vampire. It was kept that way on purpose; we as kings agreed not to sire others, as it might cause those vampires to be an object of jealousy or a target to those who wish to harm us. If Marcus noticed, and I am sure he did, I cannot guess why he would not have said anything, unless he wanted to wait and do so in private."

"I can't imagine that will be anytime soon," Peter smirked.

"Probably not," Caius agreed. "But likely not for the reasons you think. If Didyme was able to walk in here and stand in the audience chamber unnoticed by anyone, they have likely not been apart for so long as one might assume. Still, we are old and have become accustomed to having time on our hands. As a result, things in Volterra are rarely rushed, by any of us. I might expect him to show up asking next week or so, if he is eager."

"And what about Aro?" I asked seriously. "You rushed us out of the room pretty quickly. He seemed to have a reason behind wanting that particular guard to escort us," I prompted.

"Yes, Chelsea," Caius mused. "He wanted her to attempt to sever your bonds to each other, but he was underestimating you. You have true mate bonds, blood family bonds, and venom bonds here. She cannot break any of those. Had Aro found that out, he'd be even more likely than he is now to find an excuse to destroy you. As it is, if he disliked my dismissal, he might have had us followed, and is likely stewing over why I've been shut up here with you all for several hours."

Peter replied, "Ah, and I'm sure if that's the case he'll want to touch you to shed some _light_ on that topic." Charlotte began rummaging in her bag immediately, catching his inflection, while Caius looked at him a little strangely.

Caius was already beginning to agree and explain that he could sometimes selectively keep Aro away from certain things, but before he could get far Charlotte emerged from her hunt, victorious, and held out the light she'd dug up. "Here. Keep this on you. Don't let anyone else see it, and don't touch Aro without it somewhere on your person."

He looked confused, but took it tentatively, peering into the bubble of swirling blues and yellows. "What is this?"

"A gift from the fae," she explained, and he nodded at her with a sort of confused and bewildered understanding. There were things we meant to keep to ourselves for now, but if he proved himself to be on our side, he'd get more answers. "It will not block him completely, but should only allow him to see the positive things you think about him specifically. Be careful there. He may become suspicious that you've developed a crush," she winked.

I was floored. Apparently Char had become a damn wizard with these things. What else had I missed in the past few weeks while Bella and I had been holed up?

Caius nodded, then stood, slipping the ball into his pocket. "I should still go. I'll post guards to your tower - guards I trust. Let one of them know if you need to speak with me."

When he was gone, Peter finally spoke up. "That was unexpected."

Garrett smiled, "Not entirely. I didn't know if he'd approach us so openly, but I did know he would be an ally here, at least to me."

"Powerful ally to have," I mused. "Do you have any other kings in your pocket we should know about?"

Garrett just shrugged. "Be annoyed if you want, but I didn't know what to expect from him, so I didn't think it was a good idea to raise everyone's hopes. The last time I spoke to him before today was a good twenty years ago. This is my first trip to Volterra. I knew he wouldn't harm me or my mate, but I didn't know if or how far his goodwill toward me would extend to the rest of my coven. It's not as if I've ever had one before."

"Fine," I agreed irritably, feeling weary. It had been many years since I had lived in a world where secrets and duplicity were such an obvious part of the framework. Combined with the inability to trust all our gifts where it came to Ruby, and my responsibility as leader of our coven to represent and protect us all, it had been a very trying day. If I chose to trust the wrong person here, we could all pay dearly.

However much Garrett's logic made sense, it also frustrated me that he'd kept his association here private. It wasn't that I was questioning him; there were bonds between all of us now that were above that kind of suspicion. Mostly, it was the fact that he'd allowed us all to be blindsided a little more than was strictly necessary today. Shit timing, that was all. In the end, it had all worked out well, but there would not have been any harm in Garrett giving us some indication that he had a friend here, at least.

Nobody expected everyone to reveal all their secrets. In a coven so large, it would be both impossible and impractical. We were not the Cullens - we were a group of adults, all of whom enjoyed our freedom and privacy and who trusted each other not to be stupid assholes and get the rest killed. Clearly, there were still a few kinks to work out in regard to our communication with each other, though. Perhaps some of us had just been loners for a little too long to make the transition easily.

"It's been a pretty mentally exhausting day," I said aloud. "Maybe we should take the opportunity to rest and regroup while we have it? There's no telling who will come knocking on that door next."

Bella looked at me gratefully, and I retook her hand and led her toward the stairs. I picked a door at random and we went straight for the bed, not bothering to stop and look around much. Curled together facing each other as we had done often before her change, I did my best to project comforting feelings for her, as she did the same for me.

"Don't do that," I said. "I want to know your true feelings about all this."

She sighed. "I don't honestly know what to feel. It's a lot to process."

"Aren't you worried at all?"

"Of course I am. This is a terrifying place and these are scary people. But I also know you, and I know us. I know our people. If anyone can figure a way out of all this shit, it's got to be us. We've gone through too much already not to."

"That's a far cry from where you were yesterday," I pointed out.

"No, it's not," She argued. "I never said I didn't have faith in us. I was frustrated because I didn't feel in full control of myself."

"And now?"

"I don't have a lot of choice in the matter, do I? You said yourself we can't show that kind of weakness here. That doesn't mean I don't feel it. It just means that I have more important things to focus on right now than my own bullshit."

"Hm," I said, moving closer to bury my face in her hair.

"Really. I've been so focused on keeping my shield up, checking the radar and the bullshit detector, paying attention to everything I could, also keeping a bead on you and trying to act accordingly...I haven't had time to freak out."

"You have time now."

"That would be a waste. Who knows how long we have, or when we'll get time like this again?"

I pulled back to look at her, finally feeling some amusement. "You really are a freak, you know that? Most newborns would be chomping at the bit to get the fuck outta here."

"Yeah, yeah. Bella never does what she's supposed to. Such a disappointment," she sighed dramatically.

"I'll get over it," I told her.

In the next few hours, we discovered just how good the rooms in Volterra actually were. There was absolutely no noise from outside the room filtering in, and the furniture here was shockingly sturdy.

As light began filtering in through the small windows lining the top of one wall, someone finally knocked at our door. I'd been ready for it, but we both still sighed a little. This was likely the end of the most alone time we'd get until this was all over, I knew. We were lucky to have gotten it at all, but I still didn't like it much.

I opened the door to find Rose. She eyed us both, clearly not expecting to find us clothed, and shrugged. "Ruby's here. It was me or Peter."

"Thanks," I told her.

We followed her back down to the common area where Ruby was waiting, dressed in her silver cloak. "Good morning," she greeted.

"Something like that," Bella replied.

Choosing to ignore Bella's snark, she continued, "I'm glad they gave you all this tower. I've always really liked it. Nice and cozy, removed enough so nobody feels crowded."

"Yes, it's very nice, thank you," I said, trying to be polite.

"Oh, don't thank _me_. I had no idea where they'd put you," she replied. "Anyway, how did your meeting with Caius go?"

"As well as could be expected," I replied, but she seemed to ignore me, too.

"Were you shown to the library yet?"

"No, we took the evening to get settled, since it seems we'll be here for a little while," I answered.

I wondered why she was bothering with small talk, when we all knew why she was here. Actually, given what Caius had said, it should have taken her a lot longer to show up. She must be awfully eager to get started with this whole thing.

"Right, right, of course," she said, smiling slightly. "Alright then, let's get to it. I'll show you where to find what you need."

She turned almost abruptly and lead us out the doors, not bothering to acknowledge the two guards standing on either side. Bella and I both nodded at them; they were there to protect us, and it was unwise to give people who had a hand in your safety any reason to dislike you.

We followed her down the deserted corridors in silence, and in a way it felt almost exactly the same as being lead to the audience chamber yesterday. We didn't head back there, though. She lead us to another tower, heading downstairs several floors until we were faced with yet another set of impressively massive wooden doors. She pushed them open without preamble, never slowing her pace. Inside was a massive area, covered floor to ceiling in shelving holding more books than I could ever hope to count. Everything was neat and in order, but the air tasted of something artificial amid the scent of old paper, inks, and bindings.

"Climate control," I whispered to Bella lowly, sensing her confusion when the scent hit. How else would you preserve books and writings that were older than most countries and some entire civilizations? While vampires did not have bodily oils or humid breath to worry about, there was certainly something to the 'damp castle' stereotype that rang true at Volterra, and that was definitely not the most preservative environment for books.

Past another set of doors at the end, Ruby finally stopped. "This is the archive," she explained. "The oldest books we have are stored here, and this is where you will find what you'll need. There's a librarian around here someplace, if you need direction. You'll likely run into languages you don't know, so along the wall behind you are translation guides to every language any vampire has ever run across."

She paused for a moment, looking at us and then back around the room. "I'm afraid I won't be of much help, here. I can't access most of the books I suspect you need. What I could, I've copied for you and laid out on the table, there. I realize that this is a daunting task, even for a vampire, but I'm afraid there is a bit of a time sensitivity issue."

My mask slipped, and I found myself glaring at her. "How is that even possible?"

Ruby smiled, a little nervously and apologetically, and explained, "From what we've been able to figure out, the next shot at this won't be for a millennium or so."

"That's awful convenient," Bella pointed out, murder in her voice. "No pressure, right?"

Ruby raised her hands in a submissive gesture, "This is just how the timing worked out. Magic, real magic, involves a little more than just innate gifts."

"You're talking about some kind of planetary alignment?" Holly guessed.

"Yes," Ruby confirmed. "We think the whole process will go best if the conditions in the heavens are as close as possible to what they were when the original enchantment was made."

"Fucking fine," Bella nearly growled. "What's the deadline?"

"The winter solstice," Ruby answered.


	31. Chapter 31

**BPOV**

I closed my eyes, fighting my reaction. I was pissed. She'd never mentioned any of this being part of the deal. Not only was there a whole lot more pressure on us to actually get this done, we'd have to be in Volterra for months! It wasn't like we had anywhere else pressing to be, but that was an awful lot of time to be giving up. To be living in a place we all felt unsafe and targeted. A growl slipped through. It wasn't the only one from our group.

I sucked in a deep breath to calm myself, and struggled. It was hard, so hard not to attack her where she stood. I tried to remind myself that we'd known she wasn't trustworthy, but this still felt like being caught in a trap. We might have decided to come anyway had we known, but for the second time in two days, we were blindsided.

"Is there anything _else_?" Jasper asked, his voice calm but deadly. At her slightly nervous shake of the head, he growled, "Leave us to it, then. You might have the power here, but not disclosing this before now was a big mistake. We will send someone to update you. You'd be wise not to show your face to my mate until we call for you."

She left immediately, edging as far away from me as possible and avoiding my eyes. Good. She should be scared of me. For someone who wanted something from me, she sure wasn't earning herself any points in my books. I was beginning to lean toward looking for a way to do just the opposite of what she wanted, just to fuck with her. I allowed images to flow through my mind of a weak and feeble Ruby attempting to eat an Emmett-sized man, along with many other things. Much, much worse things.

"Talk to me, darlin'," Jasper demanded, breaking me from my dark fantasies.

"I need to murder something," I told him, finally understanding the impulse to make mulch in the most vicious manner possible. There was simply no other way I could comprehend to release this emotion. I'd always thought Edward was just being kindof a twat when he said vampires felt more strongly than humans, but this… there was no natural calm to be found. No breathing exercises were going to center me. The blackest, angriest death metal wasn't going to be cathartic enough. I needed to destroy something in the worst way.

"I think we all do, right about now," Emmett said, and it almost shocked me enough to shake off the anger. Almost, but not quite. I might not be used to seeing Emmett pissed, but that didn't mean he had no right. Rose looked downright murderous, which was nothing new.

"Agreed," Garrett said, and Holly nodded beside him, her face twisted in rage that was only a little too intense for the situation, contrasting his calm exterior. A second glance, though, revealed him to be nearly vibrating.

"Let's go see where we can hunt. Volterra is off-limits, but I'll bet our guards know where we can go," Jasper said, shortly and with effort.

Half an hour later, we found ourselves running on our way to one of the surrounding cities. We kept going, stopping every so often to decimate trees or boulders that looked at us funny, until we found a city that looked large enough to hold some decently vile humans. Then we split off into pairs to hunt play vigilante justice, with the agreement to just meet back up in our tower when we were finished.

When Jasper and I arrived back at our quarters, Peter and Charlotte were waiting for us and speaking with Caius. He stood when we entered, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"I -"

Jasper held a hand up. "Your guards told you we left, and then they told you we came back here asking where to go kill something."

Caius looked relieved that Jasper understood. "Yes," he said simply.

Jasper nodded once, "We received some information we were not anticipating. It seems we might need to stay in Volterra for much longer than we had anticipated," he explained.

Caius' eyes widened, and he have a nod of understanding. "I can sympathize. This is my home, but it is not the most agreeable environment for a coven such as yours."

"Exactly."

"Tell me what you can, perhaps I can help?" he offered.

I had decided the previous evening while he was speaking to Jasper that I liked Caius, but his offer of help with no questions asked, even knowing that we weren't giving him all the information, just clinched it. I wasn't sure what help he could possibly hope to give us, but I was content to let J determine that with him.

For my part, now that I had calmed down, I wanted to go dig into those books. Maybe if we figured this whole thing out early, we could leave until it was time to do the deed. I shot a look to Charlotte, who caught my drift easily and went to retrieve her laptop bag. After a mental heads-up to J about our intended destination, we left the men to discuss whatever it was they were discussing and headed back down to the library.

Char got herself settled in with the computer, preparing for the influx of information. There was no guarantee they'd let us take the books out of Volterra, and seeing how they needed to be housed made me wonder if it was a good idea to even try. She wanted to set up a database so she could glean and keep as much of the information in them as possible, maybe even scan them. I thought it was a great idea, but the systems she was using went way over my head.

Instead, I hit the shelves. These books were in no particular order beyond approximate date, and while that was frustrating, it was also understandable. They could hardly sort them by much else when the contents were unavailable. I began with the closest shelf, pulling books out and sorting them by whether I could see the text. Reading them was another matter entirely - it looked as though I'd be learning a few new languages while we were here.

Eventually we were joined by the others. Holly and Rose trickled in around an hour after Char and I had got started, and the guys came in several hours after that. We all worked in relative silence, save an inappropriate wisecrack here or there.

First, we sorted the books by who could read them. I was more surprised by how many books there were that were keyed to the others than the amount keyed only to myself. I'd known going in, given my apparent convergence of many bloodlines, that my stack would tower over everyone else's. Holly, Char, and Peter could help me with a fair number and split those amongst themselves, but it still left a healthy amount for Jasper, Rose, and Emmett to go through. Even Garrett had a couple, which surprised us all.

That initial sorting took three days. The following few days spent determining what languages the books were written in and learning those languages. Luckily, vampire memory made learning languages extremely easy, and translations that might have taken a human years could be accomplished in a few days at most.

As interesting as it was, the task was still tedious, long, and grueling. Translation, taking notes, feeding information to the database Char was building, and all the while hunting for something about an enchantment we knew very little about.

It was enough to drive anyone a little nuts if forced to focus for too long, so we took breaks as needed. Caius had invited us to train with the guard, and sometimes we took him up on that to blow off steam. We had no real need to leave the castle, since food was generally provided in Volterra, but we did anyway from time to time, if only to breathe some air that held no dust or the tinny flavor of climate control. Sometimes we just holed up in the tower with our mates. Surprisingly, nobody really bothered us. We did not see Marcus, Aro, or Ruby for months, and many of the guard were much more warm and welcoming than we had been led to assume. None of us were dumb enough to trust them, but it did help make the atmosphere that much more bearable.

As it turned out, Edward's long-ago account of the Volturi had been skewed. Both Carlisle's prejudice and his own seemed to morph the vampire monarchs and their coven into monsters in their eyes, but the reality was that they were simply...what they were. They neither relished in it nor denied it, they just accepted it. It was easy to see, though, how some personalities might have clashed and colored Carlisle's view. Of the guard members we did interact with, most viewed Carlisle as having been a prejudiced and judgmental man. According to them, they had tried to bring him into greater harmony and acceptance, but were instead met with lengthy lectures on good and evil and the need to maintain humanity.

It was easy for me to see how that would have been off-putting, to put it mildly. I obviously lacked centuries worth of pondering on the nature of my being, but I didn't see the point in trying to be something that I was not. There's good and bad to every type of life, I figured. This one was no different. I did recognize that my rather unusual situation of knowing about and accepting this life before being thrust into it probably colored my view, but I couldn't really help that much. While I didn't see myself becoming BFF's with any of the guard any time soon, the understanding of the situation with Carlisle certainly helped me feel less anxious about being stuck in Volterra.

None of the guard seemed to embody their reputations during the normal day-to-day, though it was easy enough to see the reasons for them. They were just people, albeit people I would definitely not want to cross without a good reason. My initial discomfort and trepidation around most of them morphed into a sort of respect once I realized that I was also a person that people did not want to cross. So was my mate, and so were the rest of my coven. We could all be a bit intimidating and terrifying.

Jane and Alec had become particularly scary one day after discovering that someone had run around the castle putting puffy, glittered mustache stickers on the paintings. It had taken a very annoyed Jasper pointing out that they'd only stuck them to glass and not actually ruined anything before they calmed down enough to stop stalking Peter and randomly taking out his senses. The funniest part of the whole situation was that it was actually Emmett and I who were responsible, and nobody even bothered to suspect us. Peter blamed Holly, everyone else blamed Peter, and nobody batted an eye at how amusing Em and I seemed to find it all.

Things settled into a sort of routine that felt almost alarmingly natural. With the guard not being a particular threat and Marcus, Ruby, and Aro being suspiciously absent, we went about our business mostly undisturbed. Caius came to visit often, both in the tower and in the library, and was fascinated by the findings we shared with him. Occasionally he brought his mate, Athenadora, who was quite a warm and happy, if reserved, woman. Were it not for the whole reason we were here, and the wild cards represented by the three conspicuously absent vampires, I found myself thinking a few times that I could live here for a time contentedly. Maybe even keep it as a home base. It was nice not to have to worry about exposure or pretending anywhere around the castle.

While the project was going smoothly, by the three month mark we were rapidly approaching the end of the piles of books with very few leads on the task we'd been given.

What we did find was a practical goldmine of information on other subjects, including lights, gifts, energy work, and long-extinct magical trades, some of which we thought we could revive, but none of it seemed to be connected to the original enchantment. That was mentioned very always hinted, but never said very much.

The books themselves were a mixed bag. Some were written before the change, some after. Some were trade journals, grimoires, recipe books and books that reminded me of the notebooks I'd kept for my classes with cliff notes on certain subjects. Some were obviously meant as teaching tools, like textbooks. While those books were full of information, it was the personal journals that I enjoyed the most.

I was absolutely fascinated by them. There were personal accounts of daily life from millennia ago, and a cast of characters almost as good as you'd find in any novel. Sometimes better. I had to wonder what the point of it all was, considering vampires had perfect recall, but I certainly wasn't complaining. Holly and Garrett could have the grimoires, Charlotte could have the technical books, but the stories were what I had always loved, even before I had the slightest inkling of what I was and where my life would go.

Having access to so many of the books, I found myself easily engrossed in the daily toilings of my ancestors. I kept them sorted by date, and began with the oldest first. I'd read a month from one before moving to the next, and it was sortof like reading a very slow-moving series of fantasy novels with a few too many characters. Still, I couldn't get enough. In between all the mundane moments, doubts, and complaints, were glimmers of pure gold. Mentions of a glance here, a gesture there. Full-blown romance of the kind that lasted, and the many kinds that did not. Mortal enemies and political tensions, seen from nearly every angle.

I had considered Ruby's version of events for a while and come to the conclusion that things could not possibly have been so dire as to demand the current form of vampirism as a solution, but reading the journals helped me see things in a new way. Many of these people were already ancient by human standards at the time these were written and had felt superior to them for that reason, nevermind the magic. This was a war of ideologies - one side who felt it best to segregate and hold their 'superior' ground, and the others who saw beauty in the flawed and impermanent existence of humanity and therefore embraced it. The difference turned families and friends - even mates - against each other as each sought to win in totality, refusing to entertain any kind of compromise. The few who advised reason were met with scorn and ridicule from both sides. Looking at vampires on the whole as they were now, it was clear enough to me which side had actually won.

I wondered if agreeing to this had been a mistake or not. Changing the traits of vampires was not going to right any of these wrongs, even if I could do it. In fact, it cemented my belief that the checks and balances that were naturally in place were indeed necessary to stop vampires from just taking over the planet and enslaving humanity. Even if I installed a few new ones, there was no way to guarantee it wouldn't result the same.

It was a problem I didn't think I could solve. Jasper agreed.

"You can't stop war, Bella. It's always present in some form. Between different groups, yes, but also within those groups, and in every individual in them. It's in everyone you know. In me. In you. The best you can hope to do is not give either side a nuclear bomb; otherwise just stay out of the way," he'd said calmly when I laid my problem out. He was sitting leaning against the headboard with his legs stretched out before him, watching me. I was standing in the middle of the room, pacing back and forth as I tried to wrestle the desperation of my realization into coherent thoughts; a tough job if he'd had all the information I had swirling around my brain, but he did not. I had to keep stopping to tell snippets of the journals' stories to illustrate my points.

"Oh, and how's that worked out for you? Because last I checked, we're stuck in Volterra pawing through old ass books hunting for some kind of solution we don't even know for sure exists. War might be everywhere, but at least when it's me I know the sides. This is different. We don't know the sides. We don't know the stakes. There's no way we can even know what's a bomb and what isn't at this stage!" I argued. "You don't think there's a chance that doing what they want us to do right now would be the equivalent of handing someone the blueprints for a bomb?"

"Of course there's that chance, but didn't we know this coming in?" he responded reasonably. "We knew we couldn't trust anyone. We knew we were in over our heads. We came anyway. You made that choice just as much as anyone else. Why the meltdown?"

I thought about that for a moment before responding, "Because, I think deep down I thought I could fix it all, and now I don't think I can."

Jasper watched me for a moment before saying softly, "Most people wouldn't peg you for someone who wanted to save the world." He spoke as he raised his arm in invitation. One I gladly accepted.

"I'm not arrogant enough to think I can save the world," I grumbled. "I guess I just thought we might be able to make it nicer for us to live in."

"Maybe we can," he offered.

I shifted a little, thinking again before I admitted, "I don't see how."

I felt him start to move, and before I knew it my face was being lifted and he was staring into my eyes, "You will," he told me with conviction. "We will figure something out. We still have some time."

"Sometimes when you do that logic thing, I want to punch you a little," I told him, feeling a bit ashamed for my whining and self-pity, but still frustrated and angry with myself for being unable to come up with a magic bullet solution. His words about war echoed as I mentally chastised myself for holding such an immature and idealistic notion, even though I hadn't been doing so consciously.

"I know," he told me, before covering my mouth with his. Everything else evaporated, and no words were needed for a while after that.


	32. Chapter 32

**JPOV**

As Bella left to go back to the library and submerge herself in the journals again, I allowed myself to worry about her a little bit. In the past few months, we had all settled into routines. We each did our part toward the project, and for the most part things seemed to be moving forward, but the outburst Bella had just displayed told me something else was going on, here.

Once again, I'd left her to her research on her own. This time, though, Charlotte and Holly weren't helping her. Holly had dived into the grimoires, taking Garrett with her, and Char was up to her eyeballs in skill books. Em and Rose had finished their books already, and were now busy helping input the data. Holly wanted to take the books from here, but if Char had her way we wouldn't need to. We'd have entirely digitized, fully translated copies. For good or ill.

Normally Bella was pretty level headed, but we were on a timeline now, and I suspected the looming deadline had something to do with her anxiety. Nobody was going over the journals with her, and that meant that she had nobody to really discuss most of what she read with. Likewise, nobody was sharing much more than the highlights of what they each read. Everyone was focused on their tasks, and that was a good thing, but nobody had the whole picture.

I made my way down to the archive, unsurprised to find everyone there. There was always one of us down here. In fact, we hadn't had any good old-fashioned coven bonding time since we arrived.

"I think it's time to take a break," I told them as I entered. Seven heads snapped to me with varying levels of surprise and confusion. "We've been at this for months. We're all mentally exhausted. Let's take a day or two to mentally recoup, and then we can put our heads together. Maybe we'll make some better progress on this thing if we just step away from it for a while."

Peter reacted first, shutting the book he'd had open a little harder than necessary. "Fuck, yeah! What're we doin'?"

I just shrugged. I didn't really have a concrete plan here, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

"Can we get out of the castle for a bit?" Bella asked from her perch on the chaise in the corner.

"Oh! Can we?" Holly all but squealed as she finally perked up some.

That wasn't quite what I had in mind, but as I turned the prospect over in my mind it quickly became more attractive. It would be good for us to be out of sight and earshot of the castle and its inhabitants. Although Caius assured us he kept people out of our tower, there was always the possibility of being overheard. We all knew it and acted accordingly, even when it didn't necessarily seem that way.

After some discussion about the possibilities, it was decided unanimously to just leave. We could figure out a plan once we were out of the castle and away from the citadel. Because this was the first time we had completely abandoned the archive, Charlotte thought it best to bring the laptop and peripherals back to the tower for safekeeping while we were gone. While she did that, Garrett located Caius and let him know about our plans. He offered us a vehicle, but we'd decided against any kind of Volturi strings for this. We'd go on foot.

As soon as evening fell, we were strolling out past the gates. Peter picked a direction, random or not I did not know, and started walking. As soon as we were out of danger of being sighted, we ran. Opting to save the larger, more touristy cities for a time when we were less stressed and could actually enjoy them, we eventually wound up in a town that was small but seemed to have a thriving nightlife.

We found a smaller venue to kick things off at and gained admittance. It quickly became apparent that this was a good choice. While hitting the club wasn't exactly my first choice when considering an evening's entertainment, everyone got to have a few drinks and blow off some steam dancing. We bounced around to a few clubs like this, leaving one for the next when too many people started to take notice of our appearance and try their luck. Drawing too much attention might help the tail we almost certainly had locate us that much easier.

Eventually, the clubs closed down in the wee hours of the morning. Peter grabbed Char's hand and led the charge out of town with a grin on his face, not telling anyone where he was going. Lacking a clue or anything better to do, we followed him across the landscape and, eventually, into a forest. I wondered what the hell he was on about until we got in a bit deeper, to an area where the growth was clearly ancient. There was something here that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge. It wasn't a feeling of being watched, or anything that told me to be on my guard any more than usual; instead it was more that I was in the presence of something alive.

After a moment, the feeling passed, and in its place I felt something akin to warmth and welcome, if such a feeling could in fact emanate from a place. Underlying all of it was a current of something that I could only describe as power. It was thick, but not aggressive. Almost as if the place had a kind of consciousness all its own, and it was accepting our presence. We all shared looks as it settled over us.

Peter finally came to a stop in front of a massive old tree, in the middle of a ring of old logs that looked like they'd probably made up a sort of meeting spot at one time. They were covered in lichen and moss now, but nowhere near as decayed as I suspected they probably should have been.

"Before you ask, I don't know," Peter explained, tapping his head. "I got coordinates, no rhyme or reason."

I barely heard him, though. Bella was emitting a strong sense of awe, looking around with wide eyes. "This is Haven," she almost whispered.

"This is what now?" Holly asked.

Bella turned to her then, and confirmed what I'd assumed. "It was in the journals. The meetings the fae held, they had them here. They'd crowd around these logs, and the person who stood in the middle got to speak. A place of equal footing for all. They came here to discuss things, try to hash things out. Kindof like a modern day parliament or congress, but for their whole race. I'll bet this is where it happened."

Everyone took a moment to look around, then. Her theory made sense, considering the way the place felt, even to me, and I lacked the gift for it.

"I didn't realize they described so much," Char offered. She seemed somewhat chagrined.

"Well, that was the other half of my reasoning behind this excursion," I explained. "I didn't want to go into the particulars inside the castle, but it seems like we've all been focused on different things. It's time to put our heads together and figure out where the pieces fit."

Bella beamed at me, then. "That's a fantastic idea."

The innermost circle of logs was too wide for the eight of us to sit around and converse comfortably, so we all sat on the ground in the central circle. It wasn't like our asses were going to get sore. As we were settling in, Garrett and Holly produced several bottles of wine. I briefly wondered where the hell they'd been hiding them, but the thought was quickly overshadowed by curiosity about their next movements.

Even having been steeped in it for months, most of the nuances of all this magic shit were lost on me.

"You have to give back," Garrett explained as he carefully poured wine into a depression on the ground in the middle of the circle. "This place has accepted our presence and provided us safety and privacy. It's only fitting to be grateful."

They passed the other bottles around quickly, and by the time the distraction was over, the wine was gone. I looked to Bella and found a small, knowing smile on her lips.

"Alright then, where do we start?"

"Well, how about at the beginning? What can you tell us about this place, B?" Charlotte asked.

Bella quickly reiterated what she knew, punctuating her explanation with bits from the journals she'd read. While it was true that this had been the meeting place for the fae, it was also a sort of hallowed ground to them. There was some kind of magic inherent in the place that only fae could tap into. Humans could not enter the space; if they tried, they would simply be diverted around. Bella didn't know if it was a natural occurrence or if the fae had created it for themselves, but she explained that it was aptly named. Haven was a place where fae could be exactly what they were with no regard at all for how humans would react to their magic.

Humans were, and are, a violent species in the eyes of the fae, she explained. While magic in the world at large had been, if not more common then certainly less explained away, many fae chose to hide their nature. By the time the meetings were held to determine how to handle the issue of human involvement, many had experiences which soured their opinions on the human race. Since there were not enough fae to subjugate the humans, most of them chose to simply remove themselves and fade into the realm of human myth. Those that rejected that choice, and their actions, were at the heart of the issues discussed in this place.

In addition to all of that, however, the area seemed to pick up on the particular need of those it accepted in. Bella explained that she had seen mention of it used as a space for parties, for particularly intricate workings, and even when a fae just needed a place to lay low for a while. It seemed to accept all fae, although it had been known to get testy with those who didn't respect it, either by refusing them entry or by making sure they felt its irritation the entire time they were here.

The conversation eventually shifted away from Haven itself, and more toward the issues at hand. Bella eventually conveyed to everyone what had been eating at her about what she'd found in the journals, and I felt her relief when she did so. Although nobody had any immediate input or solutions, sharing what she had found seemed to help dissipate some of the pressure she'd been feeling.

The conversation transitioned easily from one subject to the next; Holly and Garrett shared some of the more interesting things they'd found in the tomes about witches and how their magic worked as compared to fae, and Charlotte used that as a jumping-off point to explain some of the skills and trades she'd found information on. I was really all but useless to add anything of value, but listened with interest as the others talked through their most exciting and troubling discoveries of the past months.

I wondered if any of the others were picking up on how integrated many of these subjects were. What Holly and Garrett referred to as grimoires were really the ancestor and source of witch magic, and it was required for many of the skills Charlotte described in some aspect or another. It seemed to me that real magic had permeated the lives of the fae in a way we'd find hard to imagine now. The loss of it, from Bella's retelling of the journals, had been an extremely traumatic experience for almost all of them.

Just as I was getting to the point of wondering what had driven anyone to do such a thing, Bella dipped forward and the pendant Ruby had given her dipped forward out of her shirt. I knew she usually kept it about her person, but I hadn't seen it in a while. It had become something so everyday that I just glossed over it, but with my mind on the stories told, I looked at it a little differently.

I leaned toward her and caught it in my hand, staring at it.

"J?" she asked.

"This was described in one of the journals," I told her. "A large teardrop with a silver setting. Only, it was clear, not red."

Charlotte scooted forward. "Let me see that," she said, and grabbed it from my hand, pulling it closer to her face.

"Shit, guys, I can just take it off! You don't need to knock me over," Bella groused, but without any actual annoyance behind it. She was curious, too.

She slipped the chain over her head and held it out. Charlotte grabbed it first. "Ruby said this was similar to an Everlasting stone, right?"

"Yeah," Bella answered.

"It was a mate gift," I supplied. "The person whose journal it was in, had made it for their mate."

"Was there anything else?" Char asked.

"Not much. The person who wrote that journal was pretty inconsistent about it. All he wrote was that he had it made, hoping that when he gave her this, she'd forgive him."

"But it was clear," she pressed.

"Yes," I confirmed. "He specifically mentioned it, but I guess he did describe it weirdly. He said it was blank, but then described it as looking like a drop of water."

"That's an odd way to put it," Holly pointed out.

I shrugged. "Speech patterns were different then, I didn't think much of it."

She handed the pendant back to Bella and sat back with a thoughtful expression on her face. After a moment of silence, she offered, "Everlasting stones can be made in pretty much any color. It's like making the casings for lights, only you mold it into a shape. Instead of putting dust inside it, they're imbued with energy. That's why sometimes they have properties or abilities of their own. That takes a fair amount of channelled energy, though, so they were usually just made with certain colors in mind. Pretty baubles that would never scuff or go dull."

When she paused, Bella asked, "How like dust is the process? Do the colors matter?"

Charlotte shrugged. "From what I understand, it's much easier if the color and the property you want to put into it match, but either way that's pretty advanced. I've never seen any mention of a clear stone with any sort of property. It would be the equivalent of fancy glass, made by magic and fairy dust instead of lightning and sand. It's the very first thing that's taught to an apprentice. From what I understand, the stones that were made with deeper colors or properties were the more sought after pieces. Like the stones in our rings. It took someone with a lot of skill and power to make them. By comparison, clear stones would be basically worthless."

"But Jasper said the word used was blank, not clear," Garrett pointed out.

Bella looked thoughtful, staring at the stone in her hand, which was a deep, glittering crimson. "Blank. Maybe the point of this stone was to have something added to it after it was gifted?"

"It could be," Charlotte said, "But I don't know for sure. Based on what I read, once you're finished channeling the stone is considered done."

"Could someone else channel into a stone after it was made?" Holly inquired.

"No," Charlotte said slowly. "The energy would be different. It would react."

"What if the person channeling was mated?" I asked. "Bella's taken my energy on before. She can use me like a battery, so I imagine our energies must be similar enough, or at least recognize each other."

She nodded hesitantly. "That might work, but I don't know for sure. There were warnings in the text that stones should be made by one person and one person only. I'm not sure why."

Garrett let out a humorless chuckle. "You said it yourself. It's all in the intent. Even if you can get energies to play nice, perfectly aligned intent is almost impossible to achieve. It's why witches tend to work solo, even if they're in a coven."

"But...blank. Blank, not clear. Could a stone be made with the intent of being a vessel?" Rosalie asked.

"Maybe," Charlotte conceded. "Did the diary say anything else?"

"No, that was the last entry," I told her, a little disappointed myself. Leave it to my ancestor to be a man of few words. Especially now that it seemed like the stone he'd created was important.

"What would happen if two people channeled into a stone with different intentions?" Emmett asked.

Charlotte's brow furrowed. "I don't know. I only know that it is warned against, as a rule. Perhaps it was information that was given verbally. I've run into more than one hole in instruction where it seems like that's the case," she admitted.

With that comment, the conversation quickly turned to oral traditions and how much could potentially be missing, even from the wealth of information we'd gained. As I sat back again, listening, I began to feel a strange sense of melancholy and nostalgia. At first, I chalked it up to the discussion being had. After all, there really was a profound loss involved in all this. It was people's lives, an entire culture and way of being that had existed for who knew how long. The way it ended had been abrupt, unexpected, and absolute, and now almost no one remembered them. It was not exactly a happy subject.

I noted, though, that while there was sense of these feelings in a faint way coming from most everyone around, the emotions that I was picking up on were stronger. They were the emotions of someone who had been around for these things and missed them fiercely. But there were no people around.

It was the place, I realized, a little startled. It was more than sentient. It had its own spirit. Sobered by the thought, I zoned out for a while while I considered that. How long had it been here, alive? How much must it have witnessed, and how long had it been alone? I began to understand Garrett's offering, and even to think that perhaps we could have done more.


	33. Chapter 33

**BPOV**

 

When we arrived back at Volterra, it was to a huge damn clusterfuck. There were a bunch of guards blocking the way to the tower rooms, and when we finally pushed our way through them all, we were met with the scene of Ruby and Caius, standing stock still just inside the doorway and glaring at each other. 

With every ounce of my usual grace, I took in the scene and the room - which thankfully did not look like it had been ransacked, although that could only really be determined with a closer inspection later - and promptly blurted, “What the fuck?”

Ruby turned to me, “What indeed! Where the hell have you all been?”

“Out,” I replied reflexively, “I wasn’t aware that we needed a permission slip.” At the second comment, I felt a sharp nudge from Jasper.  _ Alright, alright. _

“A permission slip?!” Ruby asked incredulously. “Certainly not, but if you’re planning to vanish without a trace and abandon your research when you’re on a deadline, you should bloody well give someone a heads up!” 

“What’s the big deal?” I asked. “We just needed a break.”

“Yes well, you timed it perfectly,” she said cuttingly. “I hope you found what you needed before you left. We have to leave for the ritual site in two days.”

“Days?” I repeated, confused. We should have had at least a few weeks left.

“Yes, days. I hope you had a nice long vacation and have returned ready to do the necessary work,” Ruby said snippily. “I’ll be back to collect you when it’s time to go.” She exited the room in a huff, with half the guards trailing her.

While I stared out the door and down the corridor after her, Caius asked, “Was that a joke? If so, it was rather poorly done.”

“Not a joke,” Jasper said. 

Caius took a moment to gauge us then, and must have gathered from the varying levels of surprised on all our faces that this was not, in fact, a joke. Finally, he answered, “Well, clearly you’ve been gone longer than you anticipated. A heads-up might have been nice,” he griped. “I kept her from going through your things, but it wasn’t an easy task. I hope I’m not being made a fool of, here.”

“Wait, so, was she serious? We have two days?” Holly asked.

Caius nodded. “It would appear so.”

“Well, shit,” she said, voicing aloud my internal dialogue. Clearly, time had gotten away from us while we were at Haven. While I was blindsided, I found myself not particularly surprised. It was a place of magic, the atmosphere didn’t change, and we never got tired or slept. Evidently the combination meant that our little pow-wow stretched on for longer than any of us had realized. I had about a half a millisecond to think that maybe this was why we’d all felt it was time to go back around the same time. If so, Haven was a smart cookie indeed.

A sort of scramble started right then. The guys broke off to fill Caius in on and find out what had happened, while Holly, Char, Rose and I went straight to work. Luckily, we’d actually collated and worked out quite a lot during our time in the grove, so we already had a basic idea of what to do. 

Around the time that Jasper had started questioning my necklace, I got a nudge from the good ole’ radar, happy to let me know that it was, in fact, still there and functioning, and that the necklace in question was what we should be using as a focus for the task. I wondered in an absent sort of way if it was maybe the catalyst or cause of the current vampire condition. Perhaps that’s why it was now the color of fresh blood, instead of the original clear. In the end, the why didn’t matter so much as the knowing that it was needed. 

We still had not figured out how to find the particular parts of the enchantment that had resulted in current vampires. In fact, we weren’t even sure it was a spell as Ruby had described it. All we really knew was that the necklace was the focal point, and so we designed the ritual to channel as much energy at it as we could, with barriers, to see if it was malleable and go from there.

Maybe it would have been better to have a more solid plan. Then again, we’d planned the shit out of the whole Coen debacle, and look how that turned out. I kept calm by remembering that we’d deal with nasty surprises before and managed to come out on top. I had no reason to believe it would be any different this time.

The two days that followed were like a tornado of activity. Figuring out what to do, how to do it, and gathering everything together had taken all eight of us running on all the cylinders we had to get everything done, and pack up our things so that we could leave Volterra as soon as possible after everything was over.

By the time Ruby arrived back at the tower, looking like she’d just smelled something sour, we were packed and ready to go. “Color me pleasantly surprised,” she allowed. Then she turned around and walked back out with a beckoning gesture for us to follow.

Travel to the site was surprisingly short. In around a half hour’s run, we arrived at a small ruined building in the middle of an open field. Ruby stepped through the crumbling doorway and vanished. When we followed, we found ourselves about twenty feet away from a large stone circle. I imagined it was likely smaller than Stonehenge, based on the photos I had seen, but it was in pristine condition. I allowed myself a moment to marvel at the site. The stones were white, with a subtle glint to them that made them look like they were glowing. They were arranged in a circle, with an inner circle of smaller stones that looked white and yet seemed to give the impression of dozens of different colors at once. The whole place felt alive with energy, in a much more charged and frenetic way than Haven had.

“Another leftover from the fae,” Ruby said by way of explanation. I waited, hoping she would continue. “They hid some of the more important places behind magic. Luckily, it also seems to have preserved them,” she mused. “Are you ready?”

I just nodded. I wasn’t, really. It felt suddenly like things had happened too quickly and we were not at all prepared. I wasn’t prepared. Although I knew that I was as prepared as I ever could be. We had done the best we could with the information we’d been given.

I felt a soothing calm wash away my anxiety, and spared a moment to smile in Jasper’s direction before we all broke apart to set up.

Charlotte had devised a sort of light that could hold and connect energy. They looked similar to normal lights, but were hollow, slightly larger, and emitted a very subtle glow. Since only she and I could channel directly, we set our places opposite one another, Peter and Jasper would be to our respective right sides, and Rose, Emmett, Holly, and Garrett would fill out between us, alternating gender in mated pairs, each of them holding one of Char’s ‘conductor’ lights. We hoped that these, along with our abilities to tap to Jasper and Peter directly, would facilitate the flow and volume of energy we needed.

It seemed almost like the circle we were in was designed for something like this. There was a low altar that I placed the necklace on and took my place in front of. Everyone else fanned out around in the order we’d discussed, to the outside of the inner circle, but inside the larger one. As we did do, it seemed like the place itself was brimming with anticipation. It felt like it wanted to be used. I wondered how long it had been since it was.

When we were in place, Garrett looked up at the sky. “We have a few minutes. We should start when the moon is above the circle,” he said.

I didn’t dare move, but I did look to Jasper with a small smile.

_ Relax. It’s going to be fine _ , he projected.  _ You can do this. I’m right here with you. _

_ I love you, _ I sent back.

_ I love you. _

After that, we were all silent, although I’m pretty sure J and I might have looked like a pair of moon-eyed teenagers with the way we were staring at each other.

“It’s time,” Ruby announced from somewhere behind me.

After a nod of assent from Garrett, I whispered, “Go time.”

We all joined hands, and Charlotte and I started to draw up energy. It was much easier here than it usually was for me trying to draw from the earth, almost as if it was begging to be brought up, to be put to use. I passed some off down to Jasper, and felt it connect with what he was getting from Rose.

As soon as the circle was connected, I stopped being aware of anything but the energy. My eyes slid closed and I focused on the feeling. There was only the energy, this glowing ring of pure magic, flowing like water and ether, that was running through all of us. I could feel it, and ‘see’ it, and it was all there was to me right then. I noticed that the ring was imperfect at first. While still thin, it looked more like a shape made in a connect-the-dots fashion, some brighter than the others. Char and I made up the brightest points, followed by Jasper, then Peter, and then the lights the other four were holding. Interestingly, I noticed before the volume swelled too much that there were thin threads running between the rings we each bore, as well. Saving that tidbit for the back of my mind, I forced myself to concentrate on the task at hand.

I focused on making the shape stronger, filling in the lines and thickening the connections until it was so full that it looked perfectly round with no points any brighter than another. When it felt ready to me, I sent a tiny amount directly to Charlotte, signalling her that I was ready for part two.

Immediately, I felt an avalanche  rushing toward me. I tried at first to control the flow, but quickly failed. Changing tactics, I stopped and just let it flow into me, imagining a hard line at my feet so that it could not release back down into the ground below me. I’d never held anywhere near so much before, but I focused on making it denser, more solid, so that I could hold it all. 

When I felt I couldn’t hold any more, I dropped my hands from theirs to break the circle. From here, Charlotte would handle dispersing what I couldn’t take in and try to use it to help me.

That’s what should have happened.

Over the buzz of the magic I was holding in, I faintly registered a voice I didn’t recognize, followed by a scream. 

The abrupt severance of the connection was what made me open my eyes.

At first, I couldn’t process what was happening. Why Jasper would be lying on the ground at a time like this, why he’d shut himself off from me. I looked around wildly, hoping someone would explain, and was met with varying expressions of shock and horror from my coven, as well as Caius, Athenodora, Marcus, and half the Volturi guard. For a fraction of a second, my mind questioned when they had shown up and why they were here.

And then I looked back to Jasper. My mate, lying on the ground.

My mate who I could no longer feel.

Suddenly, I understood.

I wanted nothing more in that moment than to throw myself on the ground and beg him to come back to me, but I couldn’t move. I was still charged for the ritual, I was…

I was still in the middle of the ritual.

The ritual to put ‘fix’ vampirism.

I’d never have been here if it weren’t for Ruby and Marcus. If I’d never been here, I’d never have lost Jasper.

My mind was racing, trying to formulate a plan, but all I could process was the screaming. I knew it was coming from me, but I wasn’t sure if it was just in my mind or not.

I stared down at the necklace. My eyes were fixed on this object, this thing that was supposed to be the focus of this whole endeavor. Well, focus it would be, but probably not in the way anyone had intended.

I didn’t bother to try and decipher what was in the fucking thing. I was beyond caring. There was an ocean of loss opening inside me and all I cared about was ending this so I could join him.

I drew a breath, shakily, to try and focus. It wasn’t working well, but instinct said that once I started on this, it would almost do itself. All I had to do was start. But to do that, I needed to gain some modicum of composure. I could let the tide wash me away after this was over.

Another breath. Then a half-sob. Another, and one more after that. 

When I finally got a steady one, I focused on the bauble before me, and directed a stream of energy at it. This was the start; if I just shoved everything out at once, I’d blast the stone to smithereens. Instead, I established a connection, thread-thin at first, to burrow its way inside. Then, I thickened it, making sure the magic being fed through me into the object was being properly absorbed. Finally, once I had established that it was, I let go of the tenuous control I was holding.

I pushed it all out with a scream of rage and anguish that reverberated against the columns around me. All the magic we had just stored in my being, pushed out in a flood, only to be replaced by the ocean of grief behind it. I let the torrents flow, out of me and through to the stone, for as long as I could bear it.

Eventually, though, it stopped.

I swayed on my feet, spent from the effort, but stayed fixated on the stone, waiting to see if anything would happen.

It cracked.

And then, everything went black.


	34. Epilogue

**So here we are at the very end. See you on the other side...**

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

I woke up to Holly shaking me, what felt like an eternity later. It turned out to only have been a few minutes, but in that time, it appeared everything had changed.

I was disoriented at first, wondering why my vision seemed different, why Holly looked different.

I struggled to take things in, while Holly shot off talking a mile a minute the second my eyes opened. It took me a couple seconds before I started to catch what she was saying, but I was scanning around me before I took the time to process her words.

The only other person upright was Holly, but Garrett was sitting up. Almost everyone else was scattered. Some moving, some not. Finally, my eyes found what they were looking for. I struggled to get up and made my way - slowly, so damn slowly - over to Jasper's still form. I curled myself around him, laying my head on his chest, and closed my eyes once more.

"Bella? Damnit, are you even listening to me?"

"Of course she isn't, Hol. Put yourself in her shoes right now," Garrett told her without moving.

"I want to know what the hell just happened," Holly said.

"As do we all, but I think all we're likely to get about it is the consequences," he told her patiently. "I doubt even Bella knows what exactly she did."

"She hit the Nuke button is what she did."

"Maybe," he replied. "But we aren't all dead, so let's just keep an eye on everyone else and see what we can figure out from there, okay?"

I didn't give the faintest of fucks what they were talking about, besides being mildly upset that their conversation yielded me exactly no information whatsoever on what had gone wrong and caused all this. I needed to know, because I needed to murder it. Apparently breaking the necklace had not completed the job.

I tuned them out, deciding that, until someone else got up and physically moved one of us, the rest of the world could rot. I'd done anything that could possibly be asked of me, and now, I was done. I only wanted to lay here and be done, for as long as it took for an end to come.

I don't know how long I laid there, willfully tuning out everything around me. It could have been minutes or years. It certainly felt like years. But after some time, a breeze crossed my face, and it made me realize that it was wet. That snapped me out of it, a little. I lifted my head, just slightly, to confirm. Indeed, my face was wet, as were Jasper's clothes where it had been pressed against him.

"Figured it out yet, Bella?"

The voice was Peter's, but I still couldn't bring myself to respond. He had the absolute gall to laugh then, as you might at a teenager who was acting like an idiot. I tried to growl, but instead made a sort of groaning noise...still menacing, but lacked the punch. First my face was wet, now this? The fuck?

"Ah, starting to now, I think. Look, Bella, he isn't dead." I lifted my head to look at him, cocking an eyebrow with as much 'don't fuck with me right now' as I could muster.

"I can't feel him," was all I said. Against my will, it sounded like a desperate plea. Almost as if the hope Peter was offering right then was too much to bear.

"If you look for him, you'll find that I'm right."

I finally dared to look at Jasper's face while I pushed my own shit aside and hunted internally, instinct guiding me to the place I'd been avoiding focusing on; the hole where the bond usually was. Sure enough, I found it. A thin strand that was all that was left of a thick, multi-layered and varied web, but it was something. I latched onto it and followed it, all the way back to him. He was only just barely there, but barely was a whole hell of a lot better than dead.

"Not to be a total jackass, but, now you know what it feels like, yeah? Maybe this whole going nuclear thing - understandable, by the way, but still incredibly stupid - can be the last stunt you pull with zero regard for your own life?"

I knew Peter had a point here, but it stung in the sort of way that a pinch to inner elbow hurts when you already have a crippling migraine. In the vast sea of concerns that I had at the moment, his valid but somewhat moot point ranked incredibly low. I focused instead on seeing what I could do to help Jasper, thankful for our current location full of abundant energy when I realized I could draw on it to replenish myself, and in turn pass some on to him. I laid back down, working internally, cautiously hopeful but still not quite knowing what to believe.

I slipped into another sort of timeless state, working on trying to strengthen Jasper and blocking out the activity and conversation around us. I did notice that it died down a lot shortly after I started, so I assumed that someone must have shooed people away to give us some privacy.

I started to consider, really consider, what Peter had told me. Jasper had been through this with me, twice. He'd told me what it did to him, but really, I had no clue. From this point on, the standard operating procedure would change. I couldn't go through it again, and neither could he. I was actually amazed that he hadn't reacted worse. I'd tried my damndest to destroy that necklace, fully well knowing that it was intimately linked with vampirism. I could have killed us all and part of me had actually hoped for that. In that moment, without him, it felt like righteous vengeance. I was amazed that he, with his violent past, hadn't reacted in a similar fashion. Amazed, and grateful.

When he finally woke up, it was light out. By that time, most of my anxiety had eased, but I had noticed some alarming things. For one, he was breathing. We both were, but in myself, I'd still required a conscious effort to stop, so it wasn't until he breathed that I noticed it was doing anything for me besides providing a subconscious comfort. For two, his heart was beating. Slowly, and faintly, but it was definitely there. He was warmer and somewhat softer.

Neither of us were marble anymore.

I started to wonder just what I had done, but since we weren't dead it was a secondary issue compared to Jasper's welfare.

When he finally opened his eyes, it was like I had been under a thick blanket of heavy fog that lifted in that instant. In place of the red I'd always known, though, his eyes were actually hazel, with shades of blue and green. It didn't matter much to me. They were still his eyes, and if I were honest, I kinda liked this better. It might take some adjusting, but the cool colors did nothing to diminish the warmth I felt whenever he looked at me, and that was all that mattered.

"Bella? What…?" he trailed off, blinking, and sat up slowly. I just watched, trying to give him some room to adjust.

"I don't know," I answered after a minute. "I thought you were dead, and I broke the stone, and then passed out, and when I woke up things were different."

"Different…" he said. "Well, that's for sure. It… seems like maybe you succeeded," he said carefully.

"Maybe," I said. "I don't know. I haven't really talked to anyone else since I woke up."

It was about then that we were descended on. Although I wasn't ready for the company, I understood that we'd all just been through something traumatic. And that the 'all' part of the statement didn't necessarily apply to just our little group.

It turned out that I was very right on that count.

According to what we were told, just after I dropped my hands from everyone else's, Aro had shown up, with half of Volterra hot on his heels. What exactly he knew about what was going on or intended to accomplish was a mystery, but the general consensus was that Aro had become convinced that our presence in Volterra and the fact that we were protected from him by both Caius and Marcus meant everyone must be plotting some kind of coup against him. He had slowly isolated himself, confiding in no one, not even his most trusted personal guard. When we disappeared to Haven, he had been mollified and seemed to be in better spirits, but then we came back. The final straw seemed to be when we left again - Ruby had forgotten to cloak herself, and seeing her leading us out had made something in him snap.

He followed, and upon seeing the ritual in motion, tried to stop it. He went for me, but Jasper moved into his path. When they made contact, there was a reaction. Nobody knew for sure why it had incinerated Aro on the spot and left Jasper alive; theories ranged from the reaction being an unconscious action by Jasper to protect me using what energy was still flowing in him, which was simply too much for his body to handle, to that the energy itself had lashed out, and everything in between.

The result, of course, was my own reaction, which I was later told took place only a few seconds afterward. It felt like it was in slow motion at the time, but apparently the effect was almost instantaneous. When I went down, there was a burst, and everyone blacked out.

Not just people at the site. Every vampire around the world went down for what we later learned was a period of just a few minutes to a few days. When they awoke, they were no longer vampires. They were fae.

Whatever had happened with the pendant at the beginning of all this, ended when I broke it. The best way we came up with to explain it was that fae magic was wild and alive. The warping that took place somehow deprived it of its ability to exist in harmony with life; as a result of that, it constantly sought that which it was lacking, through us. The entire ordeal from the moment Aro touched Jasper was something debated on by others more interested in how magic works for centuries. For myself, I didn't give a shit. The end result was all that mattered.

I'd like to be able to say the transition went over well. It didn't. The time at the site, and later, Volterra, while everyone adjusted and tried to figure out what was going on was the actual definition of a clusterfuck. At first, many thought we'd somehow been reverted to humanity, but that was pretty quickly proven wrong when people argued. See, that levitation thing that happens when I am angry isn't so uncommon. Turns out that fae do, in fact, have wings. It's just that my magic at the time was not strong enough for them to manifest fully. After the transition, it was - in everyone. Anyone who saw those babies would never assume they were human again. It took a little effort, but they could be called into existence at will. They were not exactly the most practical of things, but they were useful for tall places or a speed boost. It also turned out that I found them absurdly attractive on my already sinful looking mate.

Just when people were starting to calm down and figure out what all that even meant, Ruby and Marcus disappeared. I never did get a full explanation out of her. Those days were like a whirlwind, and the small handful of times where there might have been an opportunity for a one on one talk to try and wrangle something out of her, something or someone always appeared. Nobody seemed to have a clue where they went or even when. I never found out if what ended up happening was the result Ruby was looking for or not. We spent a lot of time hashing over the clues she gave us, trying to figure out what the hell the plan was, and always came up empty. Ruby's motivations were her own, and she apparently felt as disinclined to share as she and Marcus felt to participate in the aftermath.

Fortunately, Caius recognized the need for a leader and stepped forward to fill the gaps his brothers had left. Jasper and Garrett were offered the seats, but refused. Peter offered to take one, but was denied pretty harshly by a rather unamused Caius when he started talking about his exact specifications for the type of crown he would deign to wear.

We didn't want to be leaders. We didn't want celebrity or the responsibility. We just wanted to figure out our new lives. But to do that, we realized that first we needed to help quell the chaos. We were, after all, suddenly thrust into the position of being the only people in the world with a clue about our collective heritage - a heritage that everyone was suddenly keenly interested in. So, we, along with a few trusted members of Caius's personal guard, set up a sort of shadow council. We did not sit on the throne; we did not make laws or pass judgements or make major decisions. Our job was to meet with Caius, and help him navigate the flurry of new fires that constantly needed tending to - or extinguishing. Our knowledge helped to provide a better base of context for the new species that we were all adjusting to dealing with.

One of the first things we did in that capacity was to get permission to go to Haven. I'd had a nudge that it would be willing to help, so I went with an offering of the broken pendant and had a nice long commune with the place. Having proof of the end of the enchantment that had caused such suffering, including its own, Haven obliged to help. It put out a call; a sort of compulsion. Any fae who came in contact with the earth would feel it and have the urge to make the journey. It helped us immensely. As former vampires trickled in from all over the world, we were able to gauge the need for damage control, as well as help people understand the transition. In turn, it also helped Haven, because the place was being visited and used again for the first time in perhaps millennia. The difference was visible - it became more lush, colors became more saturated, and the atmosphere there now was a much warmer, happier one.

It wasn't a perfect process. There was a lot to work through for many. Suddenly, they went from bloodthirsty, virtually indestructible mobile statues, to beings of almost pure magic that were squishy and warm and ate food, not blood. In fact, most of us were unable to tolerate meat at all after the change. Regardless of the why, the sudden need to eat more and the explosive expansion of the flavor palette was overwhelming for some. The brave souls who volunteered to learn to cook for Volterra needed crash courses in modern techniques, and faced both extreme requests and irate picky eaters for years until people got around to learning to manage their food supply for themselves.

The ability, even the occasional need, to sleep felt foreign and to some it was very unwelcome. For most, however, it was a relief. Sleep was a welcome escape and a surefire way to recharge. Some people manifested abilities directly involved with sleep - dreamwalking, or assisted lucid dreams, mostly, but there were more than a few with a gift for precognition or spirit work that was only possible from the sleep state.

Even those who had lacked gifts as vampires manifested abilities after the change. My own manifestations as a human could be used as an approximation for the weakest fae, but most were stronger and grew in power over time, albeit very, very slowly. We were very lucky that everyone had already held avoiding exposure as the highest priority, or things could have been much, much worse.

The question of mortality and longevity lingered until it became very clear that we did not age, but could be killed, same as before. This was something I had tried to explain to people, but having no proof, it ended up just being something that needed to be realized when over time, their physical state stayed primarily static. Primarily, because hair grew again and could be cut or dyed or magicked - the one change that was almost unanimously a happy one.

Over time, a long time, things began to settle down and take a new shape. Many who had trekked to Haven decided to stay at Volterra, and slowly a new society began to emerge. We all helped. Garrett and Holly taught traditional magic principles and basic usage, helping people center and control their power and to interact with a natural environment that was suddenly much more hospitable and interested in them. When the need for that ebbed, they dove into the other end, researching and experimenting with magical techniques in an attempt to re-learn what had been a mostly lost art.

Rose, ever determined, took it as a given that there was some way in which she could now become a mother. It made sense, given all of the drama from their descendents. She learned that it was possible to procreate with humans directly to create half-fae, but had a more inspired moment when she realized that a human woman could be a surrogate, if she was given a bit of magic herself in order to make her body able to handle the pregnancy. It didn't take her long to track down a ritual to do that, and, a little more than a century after she learned that the possibly was taken away from her forever, Rosalie became a mother. Eventually, helping others who wanted that path achieve it became her mission.

Emmett, perhaps predictably, mostly worked with the kids. At first, it was because Rose was so busy that he was left caring for theirs more often than her. As the numbers grew, though, and they started to get older, he ran programs in physical training and sports, as a sortof adolescent fae daycare.

While parenthood was not exactly a common choice, the desire for it meant that there would be humans exposed to our secret, on a semi-regular basis. The gift of the magic was something very closely guarded, since we knew it had been the issue responsible for the last great shift. Until we could come up with a better solution, we decided to use only a few human families for possible surrogacies - ones that had already known of the existence of the supernatural. That, and a whole lot of spells and checks to ensure they couldn't expose us or go wreak havoc in the human world.

Charlotte dug into the magical trades using the knowledge she'd accumulated while setting up her database to try her hand at things, at first. It wasn't long before other people became interested in what she was doing and started helping her. She found a niche there, working with reviving the fae trades. It was an element for her, a way of reclaiming the self she had felt cut off from for so long. She mastered the making of dust, lights, and eventually, everlasting stones, and dabbled in other areas.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly neither Peter nor Jasper were interested in dealing with anything related to fighting. Peter actually wound up accidentally faceplanting into his current passion. It all started when, as a joke, he started giving the newcomers to Volterra really terrible advice to 'help' them through the turmoil. A few came back to him, asking for more, and he, of course, obliged. Word spread, and soon Peter had a full list of clients waiting for him to tell them what to do during 'this difficult time', and many continued to see him afterward. I wouldn't have believed it if anyone had told me before it happened, but Peter made a surprisingly good therapist specializing in Vampire to Fae Transition.

As for Jasper and I, we just kind of helped out where we saw a need for a while. We made pretty good floaters, if I do say so myself. Mainly, we helped people liaise with Haven when they first arrived, explaining why the place was special and how to treat it. Afterward, we helped each of our coven members in their endeavors, and many more besides. Jack of all trades, master of none, as they say. As the need for those tasks died down, my love of stories and Jasper's love of history lead us both back down to the library vaults of Volterra more often than not.

"Are you ready to go?"

The verbal communication was, at this point, more habit and comfort than anything. In the two hundred years since the end of vampirism, we'd gotten to the point where bouncing thoughts to one another was as easy as breathing. We only spoke aloud now because we liked the sound of each other's voices.

"Yeah, I think so," I answered.

During our time in the vaults, I'd found some mentions of possible sites similar to Haven, in addition to many more others like the stone circle. Jasper, ever the strategist and historian, had helped me map them all out, eliminate possible duplicates, and added some possibilities of his own based on human accounts he had found.

Now, we were leaving to visit them and see if there was anything to the writings. While our society was flourishing, it was also slowly expanding since Rosalie's discovery. Eventually, Volterra would not hold us all. We needed to branch out, and we needed to know where to go.

We didn't know how long we would be gone, or what we would find. The human world had progressed in technology fairly rapidly, and we would need to be very cautious. It was potentially dangerous.

I smirked up at him. He winked back. I took his hand, relishing the feeling of the bond that glowed between us.

It was a new adventure, just for us.

The End.

* * *

**First, and foremost, I need to take a minute to thank every single person who read this story. If you favorited or followed or anything, thank you.**

**And huge thank you to EVERY single review. Even if I did not get back to you, I promise you I read and treasured every one. Thank you to those people who cared enough about my story to PM about its status. I hope I did it justice in your eyes.**

**Thank you to GeezerWench, who plugged for me and brought me over to BiT.**

**Thank you most especially to EllieFayeT, who listened to me complain and bounce stuff off her randomly forever. This would not have made it to the finish line without you.**

**When I started this story, I was convinced that maybe like 5 people would read it, and if one of them liked it that would be well enough for me. The response to this story was so far beyond anything I expected, or even hoped for...**

**I know a few of you will probably be pissed off about Ruby, and perhaps, to a lesser extent, Aro, and I apologize for that. Maybe one day I'll write some side shots about them, but one of the limitations of first-person is that you know what the character does. If it makes any of you feel any better, Ruby did not get what she was after, exactly.**

**So that's it. The phrase 'thank you' is feeling a little worn out at this point but, I lack the words to express my gratitude to all of you who stuck with me til the end.**

**Which this is. Thank you, again.**


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